Wild Horses
by AdamPascalFan
Summary: The promised sequel to I'm Not That Boy.  Matt and Kurt have graduated McKinley and face the reality of different colleges.  What happens when what's the logical decsion and what your heart wants are two different things?
1. Chapter 1

**Yeah so...ummm... I know I said I would do this on Monday but Idina went a little happy on me and well...she got this done WAY earlier than anticipated. So here we go...the sequel. And fair warning...you all might want to kill me in this one. But you know I love these two! So just trust that! ok? keep it mind! promise? **

Over the years it had become a familiar ritual. Her own personal signal that a new school year was about to begin. Early in August, before the usual craziness associated with the week before school started and every last staff member tried to find supplies long lost about midway through the previous year, Emma Pillsbury would find herself in her own perfectly clean and sterile office moving the files of the students into their correct classes. Last year's freshman moved to the filing cabinet for sophomores. Sophomores to juniors. Juniors to seniors. And last year's seniors into carefully labeled and packaged boxes for delivery to the record room at the Board of Education building in downtown Lima.

It was always a little bittersweet to put those files away for the final time. Some really were just names on a file. Good kids who stopped by once a year for her signature on their schedule choices for next year and who sat through the mandatory post high school planning session with their futures already figured out. Some she knew too well for all the wrong reasons. The bullies. The depressives. The cutters. The troublemakers. And then there was the last group, the kids she knew well because they had touched her heart.

Kids like Matt Rutherford.

Emma went to sit down behind her desk, opening the file to read it once again. On paper, his story seemed remarkable. If it wasn't for the change of address listed in there, there was no indication of any issues at home. Instead he looked like a kid who, while always bright, suddenly took his schooling seriously. The B plus average from sophomore year had been raised to straight As by the end of his senior year. He probably would have been valedictorian, if Emma didn't suspect Matt purposefully got slightly lower grades in some subjects just to get out of having to speak in front of the entire school. He maintained his position on the football team and continued with glee club. A work permit application vouched for his employment at Sheets-N-Things. His transcripts were filled with every college level class Emma could find for him to take. She had heard from Will, Matt had enough credits to qualify as a sophomore when he started OSU.

Of course not _everything_ was in that file. There was no mention of his being thrown out of his house and having to move in with the family of his best friend. There was nothing about how he didn't so much come out of the closet as he was shoved. Not one word on how the jock crowd he had run with virtually abandoned him overnight. And clearly there was nothing in there about how even after almost two years of weekly sessions; she still couldn't get Matt to really talk about any of it.

It wasn't for lack of trying. Emma had tried every technique she had ever heard of and a few that she was pretty sure she was just making up. She had even gone as far as directing him towards some scholarships whose requirements almost demanded Matt make some personal revelations, but he simply refused to discuss it. Sometime during the summer between his sophomore and junior year, he had decided to spend the sessions discussing his plans for school and ultimately getting out of Lima. It was a fairly clever way to dodge her attempts at discussing his feelings. She had to give him that. Since Matt never had been a troublemaker (the few detentions from freshman and early sophomore year seemed more related to hanging around Puck than being the instigator) she couldn't use his behaviors as a lead in. His grades had actually improved, no doubt due to a combination of Matt's own stubbornness and the fact when he and Kurt Hummel were found in the library, they were actually studying. A total contrast to every other couple found using the reference stacks in the library.

Emma realized it was more than a little crazy to be concerned about students that had done well in school. Especially students like Kurt and Matt who had more reasons than most of their classmates to leave their hometown in the rearview mirror. Lord knows she had tried to catch the bullies slushie-handed as it were, but she had never been successful. She knew they had friends; after all Will's kids had developed a reputation of being extremely protective of each other. But next year was going to be a whole new ballgame for both of them. Yes their respective colleges had a reputation for more tolerance than Lima had ever shown either one, but it also meant they had to build whole new support systems.

She could only sigh as she moved to put the file away. Matt she knew, left tomorrow morning. One way or another, all the concerns she had about the silent boy who had sat across from her for two years were going to be answered. And all she could do was hope.

* * *

At first it didn't seem the weather would cooperate with their plans. After a summer of near drought like conditions, the past three days had been nothing but welcome rain. Welcome to everyone but Kurt that was. Not that he had any issue with rain per say, or being caught in it occasionally. After all he was still a teenager and Matt looked damn good soaking wet. But being in the rain was always better when a person could go inside and do things like get dry in front of a fire. Camping, not in his list of top ten ways to have fun at any time, in the rain? He'd rather go see that detestable so-called musical _Newsies_ pollute the purity of Broadway.

But thankfully the ghosts of Versace and McQueen were watching over him, because today it had been hot, muggy, and generally gross. But at least it helped dry out the ground. And if he was going to go camping, the last thing he was going to do was sleep on muddy ground.

Well if sleep was actually in the plan for tonight that was. If he anything to say about it, Kurt wasn't planning on falling asleep until well after Matt got on that plane tomorrow.

He rested his cheek again Matt's shoulder as he traced lazy circles on his boyfriend's stomach. Going over all the reasons they had discussed a million times before, Kurt knew their decision was the right one. The only one really. He might imagine his life was a Broadway musical, but there was a streak of practicality that ran deep in his blood. A gift, he supposed, from his father. For all the romantic movie moments he knew Matt was capable of thinking of, Kurt also knew his boyfriend was also pragmatic almost to a fault.

They had discussed the facts endlessly. Matt was going to OSU, something Kurt had figured out near the start of junior year. Reasoning he was going to be the only one responsible for paying for college, Matt had only looked at state schools. Not that the Changs and Kurt's dad hadn't offered to help him, they had. It was more the fact Kurt was pretty well convinced Matt's middle name was Stubborn instead of Anthony. Matt had deflected all offers of help. And then there was the simple fact of Leah still finishing her degree. Kurt was suspicious the two bedroom apartment Leah rented last year, complete with roommate she hated, was just so Leah could offer Matt a place to stay without completely angering her brother.

On the other hand, Kurt was going to Bowling Green University. It was a decision no one had predicted, but then again, no one could have predicted the arrival of his little sister JoBeth either. As amazing as going to New York would be, it would mean his sister would barely know him, something Kurt wasn't willing to let happen. And it wasn't like he was abandoning his dreams. Randomly, Bowling Green had a well connected and respected theater and communications department. He would still be able to get his foot in the door, which was really all he would need.

If it was just the different schools, that would be one thing. The drive between Columbus and Bowling Green wasn't that bad in all honesty. With Matt planning on working when he wasn't studying, Kurt fully realized he would have to be the one doing most of the travel. And he was fine with that. Even if he did think Matt was being more than a little stubborn on the money point, he could respect it.

But then there was Spain.

Once Matt announced the obvious about his college plans, Mr. Schue had approached him about a study abroad opportunity. It was a stretch, Mr. Schue had explained, but between all the credits Matt would be bringing in to his first semester and the fact he was practically a native Spanish speaker, he was relatively confident Matt could get accepted. He and Mike had worked as a tag team to convince Matt to at least fill out the application and see. Worries about how he would even begin to pay for it could come later, after he was accepted.

Which of course he was. Kurt had a sneaking suspicion Mr. Schue had called in every favor and contact he possibly had to make it happen. Just like he had suspicions about the "scholarship" Matt had been awarded to cover his travel and living expenses while in Spain was really Mr. Schue, the Changs and his father helping Matt when Matt had dodged them in the past. But in the end all his suspicions didn't matter. It was a fantastic opportunity and he was not letting Matt pass it up.

For at least the first few months of his college career, Matt would be able to be just a regular college student. He wouldn't have to worry about helping make a rent payment, how he was going to cover the costs of books or groceries. He could just worry about classes and having a great experience. It was the least of the things Matt deserved.

Beyond that, Spain was an escape. Spain wouldn't have constant reminders of how dramatically his life had changed overnight. There would be no awkward run-ins with Matt's parents while they were at the movies or just going to dinner. No standing in the grocery store, struggling to find something to say while he was buying groceries with Mrs. Chang. Matt could finally let that wound heal. Spain was a chance for him to be something other than the sad story parents shook their heads over when he happened by them.

There was no way Kurt was going to let Matt pass all that up just so they could stay together. Having a long distance relationship in two different parts of the state was possible. Having one on two different continents seemed to be a recipe for certain disaster. Long distance relationships took time and work, they both knew that. But how much time and work could they really do with Matt being six hours ahead of him for half a year? Trans-Atlantic calls were expensive And Facebook chats weren't the same as really talking. As much as they hated it, their solution was probably the only one to keep their friendship intact.

When Matt got on that plane tomorrow, their relationship was over. It was as simple and painful as that. And what had seemed like an eternity at the beginning of the summer had now whittled down to a handful of final hours.

"You've gone strangely quiet." Matt said softly, his fingers dancing along Kurt's spine. "Haven't fallen asleep on me have you?"

"No. Just thinking."

"I'd offer you a penny for your thoughts but I'm officially broke starting tomorrow."

Kurt turned around, resting his elbow on the ground to rest his head against his hand. "I was actually trying to figure out if I was actually going to miss those lame jokes of yours."

"Cute. I almost bought that." Matt smiled as he reached up to run his fingers through Kurt's hair.

"You're going to have a great time over there. And that's an order. You are officially forbidden to do that broody, mopey thing you do and you're going to have such an amazing time the rest of us want to shoot you out of jealousy."

"I'm forbidden?" Matt questioned, a smile forming on his lips. "And who exactly officially forbid me again?"

"Me. Quinn. Mike. Cedes. Everyone basically." Kurt nodded.

"Well when you put it that way." Matt rolled his eyes.

"This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'm not going to let you waste it by being all you-like when you think you shouldn't be happy. I'd rather dress like Artie than see that happen."

"Dress like Artie? Now I know you're serious." Matt chuckled. "I promise I won't spend the entire time just going to class." Matt lowered his voice to a whisper, his eyes growing serious. "But I'm not going to promise to not miss you."

Not for the first time, Kurt wished he could just stop time and stay right here forever. Leaning forward, their lips met in a bittersweet kiss, a mixture of sadness, passion and tenderness. Hands moved lower as their tongues began to dance together. Kurt wrapped one arm around Matt's neck as they turned together, with Kurt landing on his back. He sighed as Matt's fingers traced lower and lower.

Tonight was not about talking.

* * *

"You're sure you have everything?" Susan Chang fretted as they all stood just outside the entrance to the Dayton Airport. Her fingers rushed to brush some nearly invisible lint off his shoulder. Matt had to smile at her nervous expression.

"Everything." He promised, pulling on the straps of his ancient backpack which was doubling as his carry on. "Passport, ID, money. I've got everything I need."

"Still, if you realize you forgot anything, take this." She pressed a few bills into his hand. Standing next to her, Jim Chang gave him a look that indicated he should just take the money and not say anything. Over their shoulders, he could see Mike laughing at him.

"I didn't but thank you." He didn't just mean the money that he was now putting in his front pocket. Susan and Jim Chang had probably saved his life and the words thank you hardly seemed adequate. He had promised years ago to pay them back and he had every intention of doing just that.

"You call us and have a good time." Susan whispered to him as she hugged him tightly.

"I will."

"Stay safe son." Jim Chang smiled as he clasped his hand on Matt's shoulder. "I expect to see lots of pictures when you come home at Christmas."

"Lots of pictures. Got it." Matt smiled before taking a step towards the assembled group of his friends. Rachel had already left for Julliard earlier in the week, but had left multiple messages wishing him luck and demands that if an unforeseen travel delayed occurred while he had a layover in New York, he was to call her and she would rescue him on his cell phone. A mandatory beginning of the year had claimed Mr. Schue's time but everyone else was there. "I guess this is it." Matt announced, trying to sound upbeat.

"You're leaving for a semester, not a lifetime." Quinn declared as she went up to hug him tightly. "At least it better be a semester. You're not home by Christmas and I'm flying out to get you myself."

"And then we'd lose you to all the Spanish men." Matt pointed out.

"Your point?"

Laughing as he squeezed her, Matt dropped a kiss on the top of her blonde hair. As Quinn took a step back, blinking to keep the tears he could see in her blue eyes back, Santana and Brittany both kissed his cheeks.

"Be careful of the ducks." Brittany whispered in his ears. Matt just nodded at her. It always seemed to be the safest way to answer Brittany.

"I hate goodbyes and I hate crying." Santana announced. "So get your ass out of here before I have to do either."

"Yeah dude. Crying is not badass." Puck nodded in agreement as he slapped Matt on the back. "Don't be a wuss and not get on the plane."

"You fools wouldn't know a proper goodbye if it bit you in the asses." Mercedes announced, before she winced. Turning around she caught Finn's eyes. "Sorry."

Finn just shrugged as he adjusted the barely a year old JoBeth on his shoulder. "I think it's a little late for that." Finn laughed as Santana and Puck looked at the parking lot in shame.

Turning back to Matt, Mercedes shook what he had named her finger of doom at him. "Listen here Tall, Dark and Silent. You have a good time but come back soon. I have to take care of two boys here who will be miserable without you. None of this staying longer or forgetting to write nonsense you hear me? Don't make me come over there."

"I wouldn't do that to you Cedes." Matt winked at her. "Although I think I don't know about the _Thank God He's Gone_ party Mike's already planned at the house."

"Exactly." Mike nodded. "By the way your room? Dance studio before you're gone a week."

"You're all heart Chang."

"I try Rutherford."

"Well I will miss you." Tina declared as she hugged his side. "I don't care who knows it."

"I care woman." Artie complained. "You start crying and I owe him twenty bucks."

"Actually it's if any of you cry, he owes me." Matt clarified. "So feel free."

"When are you two going to give up this betting thing?" Tina wondered as Artie and Matt exchanged fist bumps. "I think you're just passing over the same twenty dollar bill over and over."

"And your point?" They asked in unison as everyone else laughed.

Rather than make Finn work his way through the crowd with JoBeth in his arms, Matt went to him. Pausing to pat the little girl on her head, Matt offered Finn a smile. "Good luck man."

"You too." Finn leaned closer to Matt and whispered in his ear. "Don't worry about him too much. I got my eye on him."

"Oh he'll be thrilled with that."

"Older brother rights." Finn smiled brightly. Matt laughed, knowing full well if Kurt had heard that last comment, an eye roll and a muttered "by two months" wouldn't be far behind.

"Ok." Matt let out a breath. "I'm going now. I'll write and email and I'll see you all at Christmas."

It took another three rounds of hugs before he could actually start to walk inside. However since Quinn did start crying during the second round of hugs, he had made twenty bucks out of it, so not a bad deal really. Leah grabbed his duffle bag and Kurt took his hand as he made his way towards the automatic sliding doors and inside to the ticket counter. He had told everyone months ago he didn't want a big scene in the airport itself. The only two people he wanted to come with him were Leah and Kurt.

They stood back as he presented his ID and passport to the gate agent and checked his bag. Getting the all his boarding passes and paperwork in order, the trio made their way to the line for the security check point. Silence fell over them as their steps carried them closer to the destination. Stopping just before the roped off area began, Matt turned to his big sister first.

"Guess you're finally rid of me Lee."

"Not even close." Leah shook her head as she hugged him as tightly as she could. "You're saving from the roommate from hell come next semester remember?"

"You won't let me forget that."

"I'm going to miss you like crazy Matty. And I expect a truly awesomsauce souvenir. If you can fit a Spanish prince in your suitcase? Don't hesitate."

"I'll do what I can." Matt laughed as she finally released him. Turning to Kurt, Matt felt tears start to sting his eyes. This one was going to be the worst. Seeing Kurt open his mouth to say something, Matt held up his hand as he slid his backpack off his shoulder. "Wait. I need to give you something first."

"Give me something?" Kurt looked over at Leah in confusion as Matt riffled through the pack before closing his fingers on a brightly wrapped present.

"This." Matt pushed the package into Kurt's fingers. "Your birthday present. So you can't open it for two weeks."

"So you prefer to torture me instead?"

"Pretty much yeah."

Kurt laughed and shook his head before passing the present over to Leah. Taking both Matt's hands in his, Kurt took a step closer. "I know you have this thing about public displays of affection but I think you realized that was going to be ignored today right?"

"I figured."

"Good." Wrapping his arms around Matt's neck, Kurt pulled him into a kiss. Only the need for air or the presence of airport security demanding for them to separate was going to stop this kiss. Finally letting go when he felt his lungs may begin to burst, Matt rested his forehead on Kurt's.

"Love you." Matt whispered softly.

"Love you too." Kurt whispered back. "But you need to go. Before I do something stupid like not throw up at the sheer madness that is the polyester uniforms I'm surrounded by."

Chuckling softly, Matt stole one more quick kiss before readjusting his backpack on his shoulder. "I'll see you at Christmas."

"Christmas."


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok i'm going to preface by saying...this is not me being lazy. there will be time jumps in this story mainly because well...you all will get very bored if you read the same chapter ninety billion times. You will! But I promise I will let you know when said jumps happen. And seriously you all...the response has been killing me in a good way for this story! It so has! I love it! And i love YOU!**

Rolling his eyes, Kurt clicked past the email from the somewhat cute guy in his Music Theory I class. Raphael "Call me Raph" Vega was a sophomore and totally had that bad boy vibe going for him. In the two months since classes started, Kurt was willing to bet he had never seen the sophomore without his midnight black leather jacket. Even when the temperature had soared to the upper nineties. During those days of course, the only thing Raph wore underneath the jacket was a plain ribbed tank top. Kurt was insanely glad for the cooling temperatures so he could stop wondering if that was in fact the same t-shirt every day.

He had spent all his life plotting a way to get out of Lima and away from the bullies who tormented him during middle and high school and what happens? His entire first semester was spent in class with someone he had quickly discovered was the gay version of Noah Puckerman. Even more maddening, Raph spent a large portion of class trying to flirt with _him_.

It hadn't taken too much work to get the necessary background information on Raph. Fortunately for him, shortly after his dad and Carole had left Kurt had quite literally run into Stephen Coco, the reigning undisputed gossip king of the Bowling Green freshman class. Kurt had been trying to find the quickest route to the music building, while Steven had been plastering the buildings and walk ways with an advertisement for the local gay club. Thirty minutes later, Kurt had found an instant friend. After listening to him complain about the constant come ons, Stephen had come back with all the dirt. Apparently Mr. God's Gift To Men had nearly flunked out of school last year (Stephen had heard a rumor about an affair between Raph and a sculpture professor but couldn't find anything substantial to back it up with) and was currently on academic suspension. According to Stephen's sources, a main reason for Raph's flirting was an attempt to get Kurt to agree to do his work in class.

And the comparisons to Puck just kept on coming. Kurt was pretty sure Puck had worked that exact scam when he had to repeat Mr. Schue's Spanish II class with an unsuspecting transfer student.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a _little_ flattered by the attention. It was nice to have a guy look at him with something other than barely concealed hatred. Going from a population of three to an unknown number was an experience he was still getting used to. At the same time, the flirting only made him miss Matt even more.

He was not going to dig out the picture he had squirreled away in the bottom of his desk drawer. He was not going to grab the _Firefly_ DVDs Matt had given him for his birthday. Those were not the behaviors of someone who was just friend with their ex. _Ex, ex, ex, ex_ Kurt reminded himself harshly. He was going to repeat it as many times as it took for it to sink in. He and Matt were over, as over as Jennifer Aniston's movie career. They had made the decision and it was the right one to make. Constantly obsessing over it just because he had yet to find someone that measured up to Matt's standard wasn't going to help anything but make himself miserable.

With a groan Kurt, closed his eyes and blew out a breath. He could do this. All he needed to do to keep himself from falling into a miserable trap of homesickness and for lack of a better word, Mattsickness was to concentrate on something else. And telling Raphael Vega he wasn't a naïve hick who couldn't tell his Versace from his Gucci and to take lessons from a real master of seduction. He was debating on whether he should pass on Puck's contact information for said lessons when the tell tale bing of an instant message caught his attention.

**DancinMachine:** _Do I want to know why this Raph dude is promising you it will "all be worth it"?_

Matt always did have good timing, Kurt thought as he shook his head. How he always seemed to know exactly when to show up or when someone was just talking about him was a mystery for all time.

**BrdwayBound**: _Him? He's nothing. Trust me. Nothing._

**DancinMachine**: _Nothing? Kurt he's left you like five messages on your Facebook wall. _

**BrdwayBound**: _He can't take a hint. I've lost count of how many times I've told him I wasn't interested._

It was one thing to talk about being friends with an ex. It was entire other ballpark to have a conversation about another guy's incessant flirting, Kurt was realizing. He hadn't had time in the past few days to actually check his Facebook account so he hadn't actually seen the message Raph had left for him. But given the fact Matt had a talent for minimizing the situation; he could only imagine what the actual posts were. If he had any luck at all, Matt would let this drop and just change the subject. They didn't talk often and Kurt was determined to not waste a minute of it talking about Raphael Vega of all people.

**BrdwayBound:** _What are you doing on so late your time? Your orders were to have a fabulous time, not spend all night on the computer. Someone is going to have to answer to Mercedes and it's not going to be me._

**DancinMachine**: _I'm working on a paper. Can't have said good time if I flunk out now can I? And nice way to try to change the subject._ _Back to this dude who wants to make it worth it for you. Make what worth it?_

**BrdwayBound: **_Believe me it's not worth discussing. He keeps flirting. I keep telling him no. End of story. Can we move on now?_

As he watched the cursor blink in response, Kurt chewed his lower lip. Had he said too much? They hadn't actually talked about what they would or wouldn't share with each other. He had meant to avoid the subject of Raph for as long as he possibly could. Any time talking with Matt was rare and too precious to spend discussing that Neanderthal. But it as habit to tell Matt everything and before he could stop his fingers, the message was typed out and sent.

**BrdwayBound**: _Matt? You still there?_

**DancinMachine: **_Yeah. Sorry. I was just…never mind. Why…..why aren't you interested?_

**BrdwayBound: **_Matt we don't have to talk about this._

**DancinMachine: **_No. I mean…we're friends right? And friends talk about this sort of stuff. _

**BrdwayBound: **_But we never talked about if we wanted to talk about this stuff. It's a little weird you have to admit._

**DancinMachine: **_Yeah but…..Finn and Rachel were able to do it right? And Puck and Rachel. And Puck and Quinn. And Puck and Santana. And wow, did Puck need to get out of the choir room. _

**BrdwayBound: **_You seriously want to emulate them? (Agreed about Puck and the choir room. What was up with that? For such a badass and whatnot….content to be big fish little pond) Let's not forget the fun weeks of silent treatments and awkward conversations held through third parties before any of that could even take place. Need I remind you about the great Note Passing Communication Plan Rachel enacted for her and Finn?_

**DancinMachine: **_I would never presume you would emulate anyone._

**BrdwayBound: **_Thank you. I thought you knew me better than that._

**DancinMachine: **_But when we made our decision, we knew this was going to happen someday. I mean I'd like to pretend I'm unforgettable and all but I didn't think you wouldn't attract attention. _

It was on the tip of his tongue to point out Matt was unforgettable. If they were actually talking on the phone, no doubt he would have said it. As it was, he caught himself typing the words out just in time to erase them. Admitting how much he missed Matt wasn't going to do anything but drive them both crazy and ruin Matt's trip.

**BrdwayBound:** _Yeah but you don't want to hear about this. If the shoe was on the other foot (and it wouldn't because I so know you took that one pair out of the charity pile. Don't lie to me. You did.) I wouldn't want to hear about it._

**DancinMachine: **_Well I'm not saying this is the most comfortable topic of conversation but if we're going to be friends this will come up. Isn't it better to get used to talking about it now over the computer? Then when we see each other in person, it shouldn't be as awkward. In theory at least._

**DancinMachine: **_And I have no idea what shoes you're talking about best innocent look_

It was a good point. One Kurt hadn't considered. If they could get somewhat used to the idea of talking about other people with each other, it might cut down on the awkwardness when Matt came home. It wasn't like he actually wanted to hear if any of the Spanish hunks he imagined to be all over Spain (not that he did imagine this scenario at all, just hypothetically speaking if he _had_ imagined such a thing) stopping by to whisper in Matt's ear. But at least this way he could work on not vomiting all over Matt's shoes at such stories. That had to be a good thing right? And really it was Raph. If they were going to start talking about this, best to start on someone that wasn't even close to being a possibility.

**BrdwayBound**: _In theory huh?_

**DancinMachine: **_My theories tend to work out better than your plans. Don't mock._

**BrdwayBound: **_Well to test the theory, the reason why I'm not interested is because he reminds me of Puck. And not in a good way. I think I've discovered Puck's gay clone. _

**DancinMachine: **_Puck has a gay clone? Please wait till I'm home before you tell him that. And bring pictures so Quinn can agree with you. I have a feeling it will be the feel good movie of the year._

Kurt couldn't help the decidedly undignified snort of laughter that escaped at that particular mental image. Not only would Quinn want in on this, so would Santana and probably Leah. Oh yes, this would be fun.

**BrdwayBound:** _Deal. Of course you realize that only holds so long as you are still coming home when you planned. _

**DancinMachine: **_Why is everyone convinced I'll never come back? I'll be home for Christmas._

Kurt knew exactly why everyone was convinced Matt wouldn't come back. Of all of them, Matt had the least ties to Lima and had the least reasons to ever want to return. He and Matt had both talked for ages on getting out of Lima, but Kurt had always known there were reasons he would never fully put their hometown in the rearview mirror. There was his dad, Carole and JoBeth. He could easily see Finn moving back if the opportunity presented itself after college. Matt's only family was in Columbus. It was never discussed per say, but Kurt knew Matt didn't consider Lima his home anymore.

**BrdwayBound**: _We just miss you that's all. If it makes you feel better, we're doing the same thing to Rachel. _

**DancinMachine: **_I miss you all too. Spain is great but it's not the same._

**BrdwayBound: **_If you're spending your entire trip trying to recreate Lima in Spain of all places I will…well finally burn your wardrobe, plaid included, for starters. It's not supposed to be the same. Please tell me you aren't doing the mopey broody you thing._

**DancinMachine: **_I'm trying not to. Does that count?_

**BrdwayBound: **_Considering you could just be lying to me, I guess it will have to. _

A knock on his open door, caused Kurt to look up and catch Stephen's eye. "Hey. You hungry? The cute new kitchen staff is working today and I need to scope him out for more info. I need you to be my cover."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "If you weren't so obvious, you wouldn't need me to cover for you. And trust me when I say if I say you're being obvious; you're obvious."

"Talking to the ex you're still hung up on?" Stephen asked a tad too sweetly as he spied the open laptop on his desk. "I love a good high school sweetheart thing as much as the next boy and the boy is fine and all but really? You can't spend four years stuck in this room."

"I'm not going to spend four years in my room."

"Sure. Look I'm leaving in five minutes. Knock on my door if you can bear to tear yourself away."

Sighing as Stephen left to go to his room down the hall, Kurt looked at the screen. Gaga he was pathetic. This was not helping with the whole missing Matt problem. Especially since all he wanted to do right now was skip dinner and talk with Matt longer. It had been weeks since they had the chance for just the two of them to talk. The last conversation they had got interrupted when Tina and Artie had seen them and joined in. But how exactly was he going to get over Matt if he did that?

**DancinMachine**: _I really hate to do this. It feels like forever since we talked but I do have to finish this chapter. And we do have a habit of going on for hours. I should probably go._

**BrdwayBound: **_Yeah. My friend just stopped to remind me about dinner. I should go to. We'll talk again soon right?_

**DancinMachine: **_Soon. Yeah. We'll talk soon._


	3. Chapter 3

**Yeah so Tuesdays i'm thinking I'll be distracted. Especially NEXT Tuesday..cause I'll be a crying wreck till Wednesday for sure! Also..Dijon Talton's tweets make me think he is the sweetest guy in the world. Seriously! I want those "circumstances" under MY control dang it! **

Apparently his theories _did _suck as much as Kurt's plans did. The whole "not working out as well as it sounded in your head" thing was contagious.

Matt would swear, under oath in court if it was so desired, that the idea to at least talk about the possibility of other guys with Kurt made sense to him when he initially thought about it. Everyone else might identify Mike as his best friend, and in so many ways that was the truth. But in so many other aspects, Kurt was his best friend. And while he understood with certain clarity why breaking up really was for the best, there was no way he wanted to let go of Kurt completely. Having a part of Kurt was better than none at all.

It wasn't like he hadn't realized Kurt would attract attention once he landed at Bowling Green. Kurt would always attract attention no matter where he went. Partly because people were trying to figure out what he was wearing half the time (a subject Matt had accepted a long time ago he knew nothing about and just went with it most of the time) and partly because it was just in Kurt's nature to get attention. And he would be a bigger liar than Puck if he claimed what first attracted him to Kurt was his intelligence. It _helped_, but it wasn't _exactly_ the first thing he fixated on during sophomore year.

The bottom line was Kurt was attractive and more than just a gay Puck clone was going to notice. It was one thing to worry about this from a few hours away. It was another thing to obsess over from a different continent.

It wasn't a matter of not trusting Kurt. He did. Implicitly. If Kurt had insisted on doing the long distance thing, he would have agreed to it. Even if Matt didn't think it made much sense. Just thinking about all he would be doing when he finally got to Columbus made him exhausted. From where he was sitting, about the only thing he was going to have time for between classes, work and the volunteer requirements that were a condition of one of his scholarships, was sleep. And not very much sleep at that. There was no way to disguise the fact he was going to be a basic hermit. Which also, logically, meant he was going to earn the title of World's Worst Boyfriend?

Kurt had sworn he understood all that, even if he had called him stubborn under his breath roughly every ten seconds. He had promised he didn't mind in the least doing all the traveling and visits. Columbus, Kurt had reasoned, was a bigger city than Bowling Green and there would always be people going in that direction for weekend trips. He could hang out with Lea while Matt worked or they could work on their work together, just like they had since sophomore year. It would take a little work but nothing greater than the work it took to keep a low profile when you were the only gay couple at McKinley.

Dear God, Matt loved him for coming up with all those plans. And at first it all sounded good, feasible even; which considering who came up with the idea was shocking in and of itself. But the closer the end of senior year came, the more Matt really started to think about it. Even before Mr. Schue had approached him about Spain, he started to remember things Leah had told him since she started college. All the stories about frat parties, football games, basketball games, dorm parties and just hanging out with friends. He knew putting himself through school would require him to miss out on most of that. An occasional social life because understanding friends drug him out of the library was probably the most optimistic scenario he could hope for. And Matt was fine with that, honestly. Getting out of Lima was the goal and going to college was going to do that. If to accomplish his goal, he had to miss on a few drunken parties along the way? Fine. In the long run it would be worth it for him. It was his decision and he could sleep at night because of it.

But Kurt? Kurt didn't have to make that sacrifice. There was no reason he had to skip a single party he wanted to attend. And while Matt was a little skeptical about how long the whole music major aspect would last (after all Kurt would be trapped with an entire classroom of Rachel Berrys. Fun for the rest of the New Directions. Not fun for Kurt. And not fun for anyone, namely him, who had to hear Kurt complain about it for hours on end), there would be performances on weekends. Rehearsals. Kurt might have sworn visiting almost every weekend was totally possible, but Matt had realized it wasn't. Not if Kurt was going to have the college experience he deserved.

His last two years of high school might have been spent a slightly better than a social pariah, but Matt at least had the first two years of invisible popularity to remember. People might not remember he was there when Puck and Azimio had broken the front window at Santana's house when they decided to attempt drunken lawn darts freshman year, but he did. He didn't have many real friends before glee but he did have Mike, Finn, Puck, Santana and Brittany. Kurt hadn't had any of that. The social laws of McKinley had seen to that.

But now he had that chance; the chance to be himself and not be openly shunned for it. And judging by the new faces he was seeing on Kurt's Facebook page, Kurt certainly was on his way to the type of popularity he had only dreamed of in high school. This Stephen guy Matt was seeing commenting on everything seemed nice, if a little intense. Raph needed to stop trying so hard. There was no way Matt was going to ask Kurt to give up every opportunity he deserved to have just to see him be the World's Worst Boyfriend.

It had been the hardest discussion he had ever had to start in his life (his coming out discussion with his parents didn't count since he didn't start that one and it was more a lecture than an actual discussion), but he had brought up the idea of taking a step back and just being friends when they graduated. Kurt had protested, countering his very valid and well reasoned argument with a plan designed to trump them. Really it was a little annoying at time how well they knew each other. It wasn't until he got the acceptance letter to the Spain program, Matt had even been able to get Kurt to stop arguing with him long enough to accept maybe he _did_ have a point. Once they had agreed this was the best plan, no matter how much they hated it, Matt had resigned himself to sticking with it. And he was going to.

No how matter how lonely Barcelona could get at night. Or how many times he saw something he knew Kurt would love. This was for the best because Matt was not going to be the cause of Kurt's misery. He was used to sacrificing and had grown used to it. If Kurt was happy, and he seemed it, then Matt could deal.

And if that meant at some point, Kurt was happy with a new guy, Matt was just going to have to deal with it. Raph may be nothing, but he was just the beginning. Matt was sure of it. Eventually there would be a guy that wasn't a gay clone of a friend back at home. There would be someone who was funny, cute and interested in the same things Kurt was. More importantly someone who didn't have to slave over books or work at all times. Someone who could afford to pay attention to Kurt. Someday there would be another Sam Anderson. And Matt was in no hurry to enact that little piece of karmic justice.

Kurt deserved someone who could be there for him, and for the foreseeable future that wasn't Matt. He had to let go.

Sighing as he once again found himself going to Kurt's Facebook page instead of working on the psychology paper that was due in his first class, Matt shut his laptop. He had to stop doing this to himself. This was part of that whole "mopey, broody thing" he had apparently been banned from doing. Here he was, 18, in Barcelona, Spain and he was pining over someone in Northwestern Ohio. Ok someone pretty great but still. He had to get a grip.

He had to get over this. They were friends and that was for the best. Someday it wouldn't hurt this much and they could laugh about how he had in fact spent most of his first few nights in Spain wishing he was back home. Someday, everything in high school (with a few exceptions) would be hazy memories that blurred together. Someday he was going to get back to normal.

Dear God how he wished someday was today.


	4. Chapter 4

**So I didn't plan on more Raph...but since you all seemed to like him..Raph returns! See how I love you?**

"Seriously?" Kurt asked as he rolled his eyes. "No way that actually worked."

Raph shrugged his shoulders, clad as always in the black leather jacket Kurt was plotting to steal and burn at sometime before the Christmas break. "I am a man of many gifts."

"Too bad none of them are between your ears." Kurt shook his head. The bad luck he had always had with Mr. Schue's Hat of Fate apparently followed him. In a move that reminded him of that dreadful month when he was assigned Rachel as a duet partner, due to Mr. Schue catching a terrible case of mono and Coach Bieste's refusal to actually work on anything new, he had been paired up with Raph for a class presentation. Months of carefully planned avoidance and now escape was impossible. At least until Thanksgiving break.

To be honest, much like Puck, once a person got to know Raph, he really wasn't that bad. Of course a person had to look past the tragic addiction to looking like a Hollywood bad boy stereotype and the near constant sexual innuendo. But way down deep, there was a decent guy to be found. Not one Kurt was interested in dating at all, (it would _still_ feel like dating Puck) but a good friend in the making at least.

Realizing exactly what he had just said to Raph, Kurt raised his hand. "And no. I do not want to hear about where exactly your gifts are. "

"Jealous?"

"Nauseated." Kurt corrected. "Is all you think about sex and one night stands?"

"Yeah." Raph answered, with the "what of it" clearly implied by his tone.

"One day you will be a face on a STD awareness poster."Kurt affected a mock sigh. "I'll be able to say I knew you when."

"Just because you choose to live like a nun, doesn't mean the rest of us ignore our natural needs."

"Excuse me?" Kurt arched his eyebrow and shot Raph his best _bitch be crazy_ face.

"Please. You haven't had a date this entire semester."

"I don't think your string of random sex partners would actually qualify as dating either."

"A guy flirts with you and you either are oblivious or avoid him." Raph countered easily. "Case in point."

"I was never interested in flirting with you."

"Or anyone else. Dude, come on. Everyone knows you're still hung up that ex of yours. "

"How would anyone even know I have an ex?" Kurt asked. The answer came to him before he even finished the question. "Stephen" He answered with a sigh.

Raph nodded his agreement. "Biggest gossiping fairy in this place. And that's saying something."

"I'm not hung up on Matt still." Kurt stated flatly. So what if it wasn't exactly the truth. He was doing better. The picture was still buried in the bottom of the desk drawer and he could even make it through a Firefly marathon without a wave of nostalgia rushing through him. Ok, he was still liable to ignore things like homework and food on the occasions they found themselves online at the same time, but he would do the same thing when he was chatting with any of his friends back home. Well, almost the same thing. Still at least he was no longer looking up plane fares for tickets to Barcelona anymore. That was progress right? "We've been over for months."

"Then why haven't you been on a date?"

"Excellent question." Stephen announced as he sat down at their table in the library. "One he's tried to avoid answering for months now."

"I've not been interested in anyone. And I haven't exactly been swimming in offers." Kurt pointed out before turning to Raph. "Yours don't count since you'll ask anyone remotely think is gay."

"If you weren't still hung up on this Matt dude, you'd have offers." Raph pointed out.

"Our horny friend speaks the truth." Stephen nodded. "I've field questions about why you aren't around the clubs from more than one would be suitor."

"And who gave you permission to spill my history in the first place?"

"Hi, have we met?" Steven offered out his hand. "Why you told me anything you wanted to keep secret is a mystery for the ages. How long did we know each other before I told you exactly who batted for our team and who didn't?"

"Five minutes." Kurt admitted. "But you were wrong for about 80 percent of them."

"Details." Stephen brushed off the point. "If you don't want your sad, bad rom-com dating status around our little clubhouse, don't tell it to the queen with the biggest mouth."

"Shut it Raph" Kurt and Stephen ordered in unison as they noticed a telltale gleam in their friend's eye.

"All I was going to say was you're missing a vital college experience here Hummel. Dating guys you were denied in high school is the best part of going to college."

"Again what do you know about dating?" Kurt asked. "I don't think you know half the names of the guys you pick up."

"But they know mine." Raph wiggled his eyebrows. "And they won't forget it."

"As disturbing as this is to say, Raph probably does know more about dating than you do at this point. He's actually out there and really only morons think they're getting more than one night with him."

"Exactly." Raph nodded, taking no offense at the jab.

"I don't want to date some guy I met in a bar on gay night." Kurt protested. "Just no."

"Honey, I would never suggest someone so picky about their socks try that route. " Stephen assured him. "But would it kill you to at least flirt a little? There's no rule that says you have to date every guy you flirt with. "

"I don't." Raph offered helpfully.

"Alright ignoring that terrifying example." Stephen rolled his eyes. "All I'm saying is you and Matt broke up. As in you are free to date other people. Not every date has to lead to true love forever you know. And yes Raph we know, yours don't."

"I am aware of that." Kurt sighed. He really did appreciate his friends for their concern. And in his heart of hearts he knew he was being ridiculous. This was part of what being just friends meant. It wasn't like he actually thought Matt would remain single once he got back to Ohio. He wasn't blind after all. It wasn't like he hadn't considered dating someone else when he was ready. He just didn't know if he was ready yet. Not that he wanted to admit to being pathetic ally not ready three months after said break up.

"I'm just really bad at flirting." Kurt decided to hedge. It was true. He tended to be a little too obvious according to, well almost everyone in Lima, when he was interested in someone. "I tend to creep people out and run them off."

"Shoot honey I'll help you with that." Stephen offered. "Just ask yourself what Raph would say and then say the opposite.'

Kurt giggled at the death glare Raph shot Stephen for that joke. "I'll keep that advice in mind."

"Look I have another option. I know the perfect guy for you. He's an elementary ed major so I don't think you two have met yet. I'll give him a call and you two kids can meet up and thank me later." Stephen smiled as he started to scroll through his cell phone contacts.

"A blind date?" Kurt asked blankly. "Really?"

"It's this or flirting lessons from Raph."

"What are the odds I'll talk you out of this?"

"None. You need to get out there and meet people other than us. I'm tired of seeing 'having a _Firefly _marathon' being your status update for an entire weekend. You are coming dangerously close to being pathetic, something you are not. You're going."

"I am not pathetic." Kurt protested. "No one who can rock neon pink like I can is pathetic."

"Exactly. So leave all the details to me. You'll go. Have dinner. And then see if there's any interest in more. It's called casual dating. A foreign concept to you now but one I'm sure you'll learn to embrace."

"Don't bet on it." Kurt sighed. "But if doing this is the only way to shut you two up? Then fine I'll meet him. But not dinner. That is way too date like."

"Fine. Coffee. Donuts. I don't really care. Just meet him and see. It will be good for you." Stephen insisted. "At the very least, you have a story for your Facebook wall and if your wonderful ex might be inclined to come up here and sweep you off your feet to win you back if the story is good enough."

Now there was a thought, Kurt smiled. "Well when you put it that way."


	5. Chapter 5

Be it Lima, Ohio or Barcelona, Spain come December all anyone could hear was Christmas carols in any public or private space. The only difference Matt was finding was at least at home he didn't have to attempt to translate the drunken misinterpretations of completely over-played carols. At home he could just laugh outright at Puck's insistence the song really did go "Jingle bells, Batman smells".

"Noah." Rachel sighed in exasperation as she tapped her foot. For the rest of them alcohol had made them relax just a little more. As it was, the New Years Eve party at the Hummel house had been going strong for the past five hours and Santana hadn't threatened to cut any of them past the first hour. Puck hadn't even so much as mentioned his guns in hours. But not so for Rachel. It seemed alcohol made her more hyper and restless than ever. If she didn't stop tapping that foot soon, Matt was close to positive someone was going to cut it off her. "Those are not the proper lyrics."

"Like hell they aren't Berry." Noah protested, hoisting up his beer can. "I remember singing those perfectly as a kid."

"Oh there's a shocking surprise." Quinn muttered under her breath from her position next to Matt on the sofa. "Let me tweet that shocking revelation to the free world."

"Admit it." Matt nudged her side. "You missed him this semester."

Quinn rolled her eyes, which only served to make Matt smile wider. As much as he knew Quinn hated it at times, she was always going to be connected to Puck and the blonde knew it. She might have thought she covered her tracks well, but Matt knew full well it wasn't Kurt who sweet talked Burt into hiring Puck to work in the garage. "Who I missed was you. Now where are the pictures of all the hot men over there? I thought we had a deal Rutherford."

"Yes. However me walking up to random nameless hot guys and announcing I find them hot and could I take their picture? More than slightly creepy. And since I'm not Puck, that particular pick up line would never work for me."

"We went over this. That's why you were supposed to introduce yourself first. Then it's less creepy and more flirting. You were supposed to play up the hot American looking for a meaningless fling aspect. Do I have to tell you everything?"

"Again. I was there to study. Not hook up."

"God in heave you are so frustrating. If I didn't love you so much, I'd scissor kick you into next week. You, my friend, need to get laid."

It was a good thing he had finished his beer shortly before sitting next to Quinn. If he hadn't, there would have been a very awkward explanation to give to Carole Hummel. He suspected Kurt and Finn's parents had guessed there would be drinking; it was probably a bad idea to actually confirm it. "Sure. That's _exactly_ what I need."

"Well it's better than the fake happy posts you do when Kurt mentions those blind non-dates his friends set him up on." Quinn rolled her head to the side and fixed her truth seeking stare at him as best she could considering the buzz she had going on. "Don't try to lie to me. I know you better than most people in this room."

"Sweetheart you're so drunk right now, you don't even know your middle name."

"Then you should tell me the truth because clearly I won't remember it to tell people you don't want to know."

Matt just shook his head. "Damn pre-law is so right for you."

"Which means you're going to tell me the truth right?"

"No." Matt drawled as he stood up. "It means I'm leaving your drunk ass here on the couch."

"Don't leave me alone. You know Puck will try to make out with me at midnight."

"Then you better go attach yourself to Finn. "

"I no longer love you."

"Too bad. I love you." Matt chuckled in response as made his way across the room to where Mike was talking with Finn. Mike had flown home on Christmas Eve from New York and everyone sans Rachel had been asking for stories all night. Coming up to his friends, Matt patted Finn on the back. "Dude. Quinn was looking for you."

Finn nodded, a happy smile on his face. "I haven't talked to her yet. Have I?"

"Don't think so." Matt shook his head.

"I better go do that." Finn took a few stumbling steps towards the couch before tripping over an upturned corner of the rug. Quinn was the closest to him. However as she leaned down to help him up, Finn ended up pulling her down on top of him. As everyone else laughed at the two of them, Matt turned back towards Mike.

"So explain it to me again. You and Mercedes didn't break up but you're not here together?"

"You explain it to me first. You and Kurt broke up but you acted like you were together the entire time you were gone?" Mike leaned forward, clasping his hand on Matt's shoulder.

"We did not." Matt protested. "Kurt's seen other people."

"That he denies are even dates. And so far none have made it past the non-first date." Mike countered, still swaying unsteadily, despite his death grip on Matt's shoulder.

"Hey Mercedes." Matt smiled brightly as the girl in question came up behind them. He had barely seen her since he arrived back home. Partly because it appeared every member of the Jones family in the Ohio-Indiana-Kentucky area would descend on her house for the holidays and partly because when she wasn't with family, she had naturally attached herself to Kurt's hip. He knew Mercedes. Everything Quinn had been drunkenly insisting to him on the couch, Mercedes would tell him sober. In front of Kurt. There was awkward and there was _awkward_. Matt was a big believer in avoiding both if at all possible.

"Matt. Why does my boy have you trapped in a corner here?"

"I have no idea. I was just telling him he should be spending all his time with you instead of trying to convince us Rachel isn't that bad in New York."

"She isn't." Mike insisted.

"He's clearly drunker than any of us here." Matt nodded at Mercedes. "You better take care of him before he passes out."

He pushed Mike's hand off his shoulder, forcing his best friend to stumble into Mercedes's side. If any of them were actually sober, Mike and Mercedes would have loudly complained about his little maneuver. Matt was betting the combination of alcohol, missing each other and the fact midnight wasn't that far off would work its magic for his best friend and his girl. Seeing the two of them smile at each other, Matt couldn't help but gloat a little inside.

"Very slick. I was trying to figure out how to manage that all night." Kurt's approving voice came from behind Matt. "Bravo to you."

"Thanks." Matt managed to smile as he turned around. So far the two of them had managed to see each other with a crowd of friends and family around. Unless someone interrupted, this would mark their first conversation alone, in person, since August. And given the third degree most of his friends had given him, Matt doubted anyone would interrupt once they saw what was going on.

Which was nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just two friends talking.

"It feels like we've barely talked since you came home." Kurt started, twisting a bottle in his hand. "I mean we've seen each other but…"

"Hard to talk when your every move is being watched?" Matt suggested. He didn't need to look behind him to know at least half the room was trying not to watch this conversation right now. It felt like a bizarre alternative world replay of sophomore year.

"Yeah. I'm having flashbacks. "Kurt grinned.

"Oh my God! Did Coach Sylvester just show up on national television to tell Ryan Seacrest his hair used more products than Will Schuester even knows how to pronounce?" Santana's disbelieving shriek caused everyone's attention to turn to the conversation to see if the former cheerleader was telling the truth or was way more inebriated than anyone dreamed of being. Matt was about to move towards the TV to get a better look when he felt Kurt reach out and grab his forearm.

"Let's get out of here. Talk. Just you and me. No audience."

Matt's eyes flickered from the spot where Kurt's hand rested to the blue eyes hopefully looking at him. It was probably a stupid, stupid idea. The stupidest idea in the history of stupid ideas. But one look in Kurt's eyes and damn if Matt didn't feel the same pull he always had.

"Sure. Let's go."


	6. Chapter 6

**So are we all cried out over last night's WONDERFULNESS? Cause I still have chills! So so awesome! And before you ask...yes clearly Kurt was texting Matt during Puck's performance and clearly Matt was the one emailing Kurt support. You already knew the answer there! Also...I don't own the song...it belongs to John Waite who let me borrow it even though he has no clue who I am.**

Even before Matt had agreed to this, there were more than a few places Kurt had rejected for the sheer, disaster level horribleness of the idea. His room in the basement was way too obvious a place for their friends to look for them if and _when_ it was finally noticed they had left the party. Not to mention, way too many memories and way too many temptations awaited down the basement steps. Any of the rooms upstairs wouldn't have been as obvious but if there was hooking up to be had tonight, (And seriously he could almost see the pheromones flying in that room) odds were someone would try to stumble up the stairs. And there was a night he wouldn't want to remember. The obvious answer was to leave the party altogether, but Matt had caught a ride over with Mike and only morons were currently driving right now. The Lima Police Department had roadblocks up all over town to catch drunk drivers, and while Kurt personally didn't think he was that inebriated, he would rather not have a DUI before he turned 21 if he could help it.

It left one place really. The back patio. The forecasted snow had in fact happened, so the dead lawn was fully blanketed in white, a beautiful sight in the moonlight. And with the floodlights off (he had switched off the motion detector earlier in the evening, an attempt to keep his friends from staggering out into the neighborhood), it was nearly impossible to see anything that wasn't immediately in front of the sliding glass door.

Of course now that they were sitting on the hastily cleared lounge chair his dad never remembered to store properly after summer ended (there was no reason to sit on a snow covered anything and ruin a brand new set of Armani pants after all), it only _just_ dawned on Kurt this was also probably one of the most romantic settings he could come up with on a whim. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He really needed to learn to not follow through on every impulse he had.

"What's that look about?" Matt questioned as he twisted the top off one of the bottles of beer they had grabbed on their way through the kitchen.

With a smile of thanks, Kurt took the offered bottle out of Matt's hand. Taking a sip while Matt opened his own, Kurt shook his head. "Nothing. Just thinking this sort of looks like a scene in a movie."

"Yeah. Like that _Dr. Zhivago _I fell asleep during?"

"I still can't believe you fell asleep during that. It's a classic."

"It was boring." Matt countered. "And it felt longer than _Titanic_. I think my entire life flashed before my eyes. Twice."

"You're just still mad that you lost on the greatest James Cameron movie poll."

"Because you cheated by making sure Artie was out of town that week. You knew he would pick _Avatar_."

"Of course he would have. You two have horrible taste."

"And yet you keep talking to the both of us. " Matt mused, his head cocked to the left. "What exactly does that say about you again?"

"Clearly that I'm a masochist." Kurt faux sighed as Matt laughed. The pair fell silent and watched the snow as it continue to fall. It wasn't an awkward silence, as Kurt had feared would happen. Instead it was comfortable and familiar. The ease at which they slipped into their usual good natured arguing had surprised him, but then again Kurt guessed it shouldn't have. After all they had been discussing movies and that had always come easy to them.

"I missed this." Kurt admitted softly before he could stop himself. His eyes widened in panic. It hadn't occurred to him he was that drunk, but clearly alcohol had over-ridden his common sense. A person does not say that to an ex. His years of watching Grey's Anatomy told him that much. "I mean, arguing about movies isn't the same over Facebook."

"True. For one thing we don't have other people jumping in to offer their opinions." Matt agreed before lowering his own voice. "I missed this too."

"How was your trip? I mean I've heard things of course but I've never asked you. Please tell me you didn't spend every minute studying."

"No." Matt shook his head, a smile on his face. Clearly, Kurt surmised, he had heard that exact plea before. "I did do some traveling. Madrid. Portugal. France. Almost made it to Morocco once but that plan never came together."

"And you wondered why we were worried about you not coming back home in time for Christmas."

"Well it occurred to me the penniless hobo traveling the world thing probably worked better in the movies than reality. Some of those hostels were downright sketchy."

"I'm going to want to see pictures to confirm that."

"As soon as I can pry them out of Quinn's hands." Matt promised.

"I'm glad you had a good time." Kurt said softly. He honestly meant it. He and Leah had many conversations over the past few months about Matt's determination to be a hermit. Kurt had made Leah swear she would drag him out of the library at least once a week, no matter how persuasively Matt argued. (Although he doubted Matt used the same tactics to win an argument with his sister than he used with Kurt. At least Kurt hoped he used different methods cause the alternative was a little too _Jerry Springer _to think about) He was all for self improvement Gaga knew, but he also knew Matt's tendency to get a bit tunneled vision. It was a very real possibility Matt would forget where the exit to the library was if someone didn't force him out it once in awhile. "You are glad you went right?"

"Yeah. I'll probably not have a chance like that ever again. Although I did miss here more than I thought I would. "

"Lima? You of all people missed _Lima_?" Kurt stared at him incredulously. "Who are you and what have you done with Matt Rutherford?"

"Ok maybe not Lima per say. People in Lima." Matt laughed. "Better?"

"So you missed Puck since he's the only one still here then. He'll be thrilled to know that."

"Wow you are being specific tonight. Fine the people I associate with Lima. Are you happy now?"

"Yes." Kurt smiled. From inside the house, they could make out the muffled sounds of the countdown starting. Catching Matt's eye, Kurt raised up his beer bottle ready to toast in the New Year. Matt shot him a wink as they crossed the necks of their bottles. Never losing eye contact, they joined in the countdown together.

"Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Happy New Year."

Clinking their bottles together, they each managed to take a sip before the sounds of music filtered out of the house. Clearly the traditional choice of Auld Ange Syne had been rejected in favor of someone's playlist on their IPod. (Apparently a drunk Rachel was at least beatable in an argument. That was something at least) Kurt wasn't sure which of his friends had a 80s fetish, although if he had to bet he would pick Santana, but clearly one of them did.

_Every time I think of you  
I always catch my breath  
And I'm still standing here  
And you're miles away  
And I'm wondering why you left  
And there's a storm that's raging  
Through my frozen heart tonight_

"So do you think Puck managed to make out with Quinn?" Kurt wondered idly, trying hard to ignore the song that had just started.

"He totally tried. I think something about how not kissing someone at midnight is bad luck or something."

_I hear your name, in certain circles  
And it always makes me smile  
I spend my time, thinking about you  
And it's almost driving me wild  
And there's a heart that's breaking  
Down this long distance line tonight_

"Sounds like his logic." Kurt agreed as their eyes locked. Oh why the hell had he brought up making out when he was alone with Matt? Was he terminally stupid?

Almost unconsciously they both began to move closer to each other, eyes never breaking contact. Even though Kurt knew this was probably something he would kick himself for in the morning, there was no way in hell he was going to stop this. Right until this second, he didn't realize what he had really wanted for Christmas.

To kiss Matt at midnight.

"You know every once in a while Puck is right." Matt whispered, his breath tickling Kurt's lips.

"This could be one of those times. Shouldn't risk it." Kurt agreed.

The kiss was feather soft at first, almost as if he was dreaming, but only for a second. Quickly they fell into the pattern that was both familiar and almost brand new of give and take. Hands ignored the cold as they traced over limbs and tangled in hair. Their kisses were rapidly becoming more passionate when a loud bang startled them both apart.

A furious glance towards the sliding door revealed the noise most likely due to Finn backing up into it. Only Finn would forget where the doors were in his own house. Kurt closed his eyes and blew out at breath as he scooted himself back further on the chair. When he opened his eyes, he noticed Matt had done the same, staring out over the backyard.

"We're drunk" Kurt offered up quickly. "We've been drinking all night. We're drunk clearly."

"Yeah." Matt agreed, his voice hollow. "Too much alcohol and the day. People do stupid things on New Year's."

"Right." Kurt nodded, stung a little at Matt's use of the word stupid. It was stupid; he just didn't want to hear that word. "It was just the night. I mean Puck clearly isn't going to be with whoever he just kissed."

"Or more than half the people in that room." Matt added. "We just got caught up in the night. That's all."

"Yeah. That's all."

_I ain't missing you at all  
Since you've been gone, away  
I ain't missing you  
No matter, what I might say_


	7. Chapter 7

"Ok. That's it!" Leah announced as she slammed her lesson planner shut. She had reached her breaking point and if she did any more, the lessons would not be acceptable. Sure it might be funny to teach a class of freshman on the groundbreaking use of cursing in the modern theater by playing selection from Avenue Q, but she had the distinct impression the teacher who was supervising her wouldn't find it nearly as funny as she did. Besides it was Friday night and there other important things to consider here. "We're going out."

"Huh?" Matt's reply was barely discernable, largely due to the fact he hadn't even lifted his head out of the psychology book he was busy taking notes on.

"You. Me. Leaving the apartment. Going out. Have fun." Leah pronounced each word slowly as she reached across their tiny kitchen table to yank to book away from him. The table wobbled, even with the magazine propped under the slightly shorter table leg to try to prevent that very event. It was probably a good thing only one leg was slightly off considering they had found this particular piece of furniture on a night of driving around looking for a couch left on the street. When the roommate from hell found out she was out of the apartment once Matt returned from Spain, she had made off with almost all of the furniture in the apartment. The table wasn't ideal but it was sturdy enough they could both study at it with little difficulty. It would do for now.

"Lee. I have a test."

"Yes I know. You always have a test. Or a shift to work. Or a volunteer thing to do." Leah recited with a roll of her eyes. "All very admirable but seriously Matty, you are becoming a very dull stick in the mud. You need to get out."

"I go out." Matt protested as he tried to grab his book back from her.

"Work, the library and the community center don't count." Leah pushed her chair back further to elude his attempts. "And all you do around here is study and mope. You are very close to being the worse roommate ever."

"I do not mope."

"Obsess over whatever it was that happened on New Year's Eve then?" Leah asked sweetly. It didn't take a genius to figure out _something_ had happened that night. All she had was seriously lacking second hand reports from Mike the next day and she could tell that much. It had taken a few very carefully planned visits but she did manage to get a few more details out of Rachel of all people. The girl might make a horribly hyper drunk, but she missed nothing. At this point she knew Matt had disappeared with Kurt shortly before midnight but both of them had shown up a few minutes later and stayed on opposite sides of the room for the rest of the night. Leah could hazard more than a few guesses as to what might have sparked that reaction, but Matt had avoided her every attempt at getting information. And Kurt would conveniently not respond to any messages she sent to him via Facebook, claiming he was too busy to check his account.

If she didn't love them both, she'd have killed them months ago. Stubborn idiots.

"If anything had happened on New Year's Eve, and who says anything did, I would not be obsessing over it since that would be ridiculous." Matt crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well then if nothing happened, then you have no reason to not go out with me tonight."

"Oh yes. Because there is nothing I want to do more with a rare Friday I don't work than play Molestation Protection Patrol for my sister." Matt rolled his eyes. "You know how much I love telling other guys to get their hands off your ass."

"Who said anything about you playing Molestation Protection Patrol for me? No no no. It's high time I return the favor." Leah clapped her hands together as a plan began to form in her mind. It was perfect! Why hadn't she thought of this earlier? She knew her brother. He would either crack and admit he wasn't as over his feelings for Kurt as he claimed or he'd actually meet someone. At this point she didn't care which one. It was nearly Valentine's Day and if she didn't do something soon, her brother was going to do something drastic like watch really bad romantic comedies that no one should ever watch.

"You're scaring me. You have that Dr. Horrible look in your eyes again. This never ends well for me."

"You haven't heard what my plan for tonight is yet!"

"Doesn't really matter. The last time you looked like that, I ended up being an elf to the mall Santa."

"But you were a totally adorable elf. Everyone thought so." Leah smiled at him, remembering the red stockings and green tunic clearly. Now that she thought about it, she better make sure to hide those pictures better. Now that Matt was living here permanently, he might actually find and destroy them, just like he did all the other photos his friends had taken.

"Leah."

"Don't Leah me. Just get dressed in something other than that. Cause that is just not happening tonight. "Seeing him about to open his mouth to argue again, she held up a single finger. "It's either we go out or I'll pester you all night for details about New Year's Eve. Choose wisely because you know what a nag I can be."

"Can I at least know where you're dragging me to?" Matt sighed as he started to stand up. Leah tried (honestly she did) to keep from smiling brightly at his surrender. He really needed to work on getting better at not letting people press his buttons. It was really far too easy once a person really got to know him.

"Someplace I know you've never been, but you should and you'll go back after this."

* * *

"You took me to an abandoned building?" Matt asked blankly thirty minutes later. "You shouldn't have Leah. I mean that."

"Shut up. It's way better inside." Leah smacked him in the arm. True, the outside was rundown and completely non-descript. But that was for a damn good reason. Dragging him by the arm, she made her way towards where she remembered the entrance to be. Sure enough, a few muscular bald men stood where she remembered tem. After flashing their IDs, the men stepped aside, holding the door open for them to pass through.

"And just why did I have to change and yet you didn't?" Matt asked as they handed over their cover charge to the employee just inside the door.

"Take a look around Matty." Leah waved her arm as they neared the end of the ramp, raising her voice to be heard over the loud thump of the dance music. "No one here is going to be looking at me. "

She had to giggle a little as her brother took in the sight of the mass of same sex couples dancing, drinking and generally having a good time all around them. Columbus didn't have a huge gay scene but the one it had certainly like to make a splash. "I figured if we were going to start hitting the gay club scene, we should start with the best. And everyone knows The Avenue is the best."

"Everyone knows? How can _everyone_ know? I didn't know this place existed."

"Because you're mopey hermit, that's why you didn't know. I, on the other hand, aspire to teach English and theater. This is not my first time here ok? I do hang out with the theater department."

"I appreciate what you are trying to do Lee, but I'm not a club guy."

"How do you know? You've never been to one. You love to dance and you haven't been since you started school. Hell I bet you didn't dance in Spain either. I'm not suggesting you give up your life of solitary scholarship or become a bar fly, but you do need to get a life. "

"I have a life."

"A boring one. And just my two cents, it's time you met someone. "Leah took a deep breath. Here it goes, the big push. Let's see if her brother would admit the truth or not. Pushing him about dating someone was about the only way she could see it happening. "Granted I'm not a big fan of the whole met in a bar cliché but at least here you have slightly better odds than at a frat party."

"Lee…"

"Look, I'm not saying you have to meet some guy tonight, fall in love, run off to Vermont and get married tomorrow. It just wouldn't hurt to flirt a little. It's fun. And you're free right? You and Kurt are just friends right? I mean if you aren't or something's changed there, we'll just dance a few times and go. But if nothing's changed…"

She bit her lip as she waited for Matt's response. Contrary to what Matt believed, she really didn't live to make him uncomfortable but this was for his own good. If he still wanted to be with Kurt, then he needed to admit that and go for it. And if he was going to insist that everything was over, she was going to insist on him meeting someone. She did not want her brother to be miserable.

"No." Matt finally answered her. "Nothing's changed."

"Ok then. It's been months Matty. It's time you at least met someone to flirt with. Exchange a number even if it's fake. You work hard and you deserve to have some fun too."

"And dancing with my sister is supposed to be fun and not look lame because?"

"Because if you're dancing with me, then clearly you are single. Sheesh Matty, do I have to teach you everything?" Leah rolled her eyes. "Now come on. Let's show this room how it's done."

"I'll follow you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Well some of you did request Matt get noticed...dont' worry this is ALL important...there is a plan.**

"You must be new here."

To his surprise, Matt had found hanging out with Leah at The Avenue was a lot more enjoyable than he had expected it to be. The music was great, but more importantly it was loud; which discouraged Leah from pointing out which guy she thought he should go up and talk to. Thanks to the nearly deafening volume the DJ kept the music at, Matt could pretend he had absolutely no idea what she was trying to tell him and just continue to dance. Sure it probably wouldn't work forever, but it was good for at least one club visit (Because Matt could already tell there would be more to come since Leah had won one argument about this and he probably would be stupid and admit to having a good time) to not end in a matchmaking attempt.

Or at least that's what Matt had thought _before_ the bass voice sounded next to him.

Turning to his left, his eyes locked with the green ones of a guy Leah would probably describe as "capital H hot". The chiseled Adonis, who was just slightly shorter than Matt, stood there smiling. Even in the low bar lights, Matt could tell his teeth were bright white. Given the way every muscle seemed to be perfectly defined underneath the tight light pink polo shirt he wore, Matt could tell the other man worked out. His wavy blonde hair that threatened to droop into his eyes clearly was only styled to only look slightly messy.

In short, probably 95 percent of the guys in this club would give up anything asked of them to have this particular fine specimen talk to them. And for some reason he was talking to Matt. Clearly, Matt reasoned, there as something wrong with this picture. Either the guy had a flaw his blinding perfection had hidden from the rest of the world or….

Or his sister had grabbed the guy she deemed the hottest here on her way to the bathroom, sang a sob story about her pathetic younger brother and somehow bribed Mr. Adonis to come over here. Matt expelled a sigh. Well, there went that idea about ever coming back here. He was never coming on the same block as this place if Leah was going to tell the entire place about his pathetic existence.

"Yeah I'm sure my sister told you that."

"Excuse me? You're who?"

"My sister. The one who stopped you on her way to where she's actually hiding instead of the bathroom."

"If you're talking about the girl who almost kept up with you on the dance floor, I've not talked to her. Although I should because those heels were seriously adorable but the rest of that outfit? If she's really your sister, you should have protected her better."

In spite of himself, Matt laughed. "According to Leah, no one was supposed to be looking at her."

"That poor naïve child." Mr. Adonis slid on to the empty bar stool next to Matt. "Well dancing machine, I know your sister's name is Leah but I don't know yours. Unless you prefer me to just call you Handsome all the time."

And apparently Puck had decided to sell his "expertise" in the art of the pick up on the internet. More power to his old friend for finding at least one person to pay him for that line. Although he seriously doubted Puck had this scenario in mind. "Matt."

"No last name. How very Cher of you. Well Mr. Matt with a sister Leah, I'm Geoffrey. Geoffrey St. John."

"Nice to meet you." Matt took the offered hand in his and shook it. Over Geoffrey's shoulder he could see Leah smiling and offering a thumbs up. He really needed to learn to not listen to her and to not go out in public with her. Blind people could tell she was mouthing the words "He's capital H hot" right now.

"So you never answered my original question. You're new here right?"

"I stick out that badly?"

"In a good way. No one around here can bust a move like we've _all _been watching you do." Geoffrey leaned further against the bar. "As it was I had to run faster than I ever had in my life to beat the crowds once your adorable little body guard left your side."

"I'm not that good." Matt protested, feeling his cheeks heat up.

"Not that good? Honey where do you come from? The _Fame_ school in New York?" Geoffrey shook his head. "We haven't seen moves like that since the choreographer the owner hired to teach a group of us the _Thriller_ dance for Halloween."

"Yeah the glee club I was in during high school tried that one year." Matt chuckled remembering the particularly awkward position Finn found himself in when his moonwalk had him crash into Puck, sending them both in Brad the piano player's lap. "Not a good idea with non-dancers."

"You're telling me. They still haven't replaced the mirror that was over the bar." Geoffrey laughed. "So you sing as well as dance then? A multi-hyphenate. How exciting for little old Columbus."

"I'm not really a singer either. I like both but I'm not great at either. It's just something I did in school."

"Did? You aren't seriously trying to tell me you aren't going to do either. I've only seen you once and I can't let that stand. If only because we need something legitimately exciting to watch between break ups here." Geoffrey protested. "You go to OSU right? Probably should have made sure this wasn't a high school student trying out his fake ID thing earlier. I mean it was fun when I did it, but still awkward is awkward. Not to mention I don't want the world to know my name thanks to Chris Hansen."

"Yeah I'm a freshman. I was abroad last semester so this is my semester on campus. So I guess to finally answer your original question, I am new here. Sounds like you're from around here at least."

"A dreadfully boring piece of suburban hell that is tragically a short car ride away from here." Geoffrey shuddered. "Columbus is merely my first stepping stone in my world domination plan. I am completely jealous of the semester abroad. You must tell me how you managed that one since I was told it was all but impossible for freshman to participate in it. How did you get the standards to change in what I assume was a few weeks after they turned me down?"

"I have my secrets."

"A multi-hyphenate with secrets? You do know how to pique a guy's interest Matt No Last Name. "

"Really. I'm not that interesting."

"Trust me. You are the most exciting to walk through those doors in a long time." Geoffrey nodded. "For example you're the most intelligent conversation I've had in this place that isn't with one of my straight girls needing a night out with no men hitting on them. "

Matt honestly didn't know what to say to the compliment. He never had learned how to accept them without feeling slightly ridiculous inside. He settled for simply smiling and shrugging his shoulders. He wished he could return the compliment but considering this was his first time in a club it would be a lie. Of course Leah had sworn a few times tonight that flirting often consisted of a little lying. Dear God. Was that what he was doing? Was he flirting? He had to be really bad at it if he couldn't even tell that was what he was doing.

"Listen I don't normally do this, but I'm not going to let some of these other opportunists swoop in here and discover you're more than just a pretty face." Geoffrey leaned in closer. "But do you want to meet up tomorrow and talk some more?"

"I…..I have to work."

"Well so do I. "Geoffrey laughed. "But surely there's a Starbucks somewhere between both jobs we could meet at."

This was not at all how he pictured his night going. He had thoughts of reviewing the basics of Eric Erickson's theory and then settling in for an evening of _Dominic Dunn's Power, Privilege and Justice_ reruns. And now? Now he was being asked out by a guy he just met in a gay club. Was this his life now? Was this seriously how he wanted to find a date?

Of course there was the part of him that remembered Kurt telling him in no uncertain terms years ago coffee was not an actual date. And it wasn't the worst idea in the world to have at least one friend he wouldn't have to wonder when to broach the entire subject of liking _Mr. and Mrs. Smith_ more for Brad than Angelina. Not to mention this would at least get Leah to stop pestering him for a little bit. And it wasn't like he wasn't attracted to Geoffrey. A man had to be made of stone to not notice that hotness.

"You work anywhere near the Mid-center Mall?" Matt asked.

Geoffrey started to laugh. "You can say that. I work the Abercrombie there."

"Sheets-N-Things across the hall."

"Well, it seems we might have been destined to meet."


	9. Chapter 9

**Ummmmm don't kill me? Please? Come on you all know I have a plan here. I do!**

It was strangely quiet in the practice halls of the music building. Kurt didn't think he had ever experienced such silence in this place. Of course, it was fairly early in the day, so that probably explained it. Kurt doubted most of the upperclassmen who all but moved into these rooms for the all important recital season were even up right now. They had probably reserved the rooms for this hour, for no other reason than to screw with the freshmen's heads.

He was quite glad to leave the inter-department rivalry behind. Kurt was not naïve enough to believe there wouldn't be similar situations in the fashion department. Of course there would be. Creative types always tended to the jealous, catty stereotype when the situation called for it. However, at least if there was some class-wide conspiracy to keep the freshmen out of the sewing rooms, it was possible to get a project done in the dorms. The majority of his classmates, like him, had sewing machines already in their rooms. Roommates tended to handle that better than constant rehearsing of 17th century Italian arias.

Switching majors had been a decision that occupied his mind during most of Christmas break. As much as he loved performing, and Gaga did he, Kurt had come to the conclusion spending the next four years with people who made Rachel Berry look sane and reasonable was quite possibly the worst possible decision he could ever make. Sure there were some classmates that were sane and he had came around to calling friends, but there were others that Kurt knew deep in the fabric of his Tom Ford pants that would kill the very joy he got out of singing with their constant criticism and backstabbing. He would be damned if they took that from him.

And truth be told, the last few month of his first semester found him hanging out more in the fashion department than the music department anyways. That was _probably_ a good indication switching his majors was a good idea. But still Kurt wasn't one hundred percent sold on the idea, so after talking with Carole, he had decided at least initially when the second semester started to double major. If that didn't work out, he could always drop one, his stepmother had reasoned.

Music hadn't worked out. The feelings of restlessness and annoyance seemed to get worse as the new semester progressed. Yesterday, the last day to drop and add classes without major scheduling issues, Kurt had marched up to the registrar's office and officially changed his schedule. Now the only music related class he had was piano lessons he was taking to fulfill his fine art requirement. Which explained why he was currently starring at the bulletin board. He needed to find a piano teacher and a time that would fit into his reworked schedule.

"Freshman or lessons?" An amused voice called out to Kurt. Blinking, Kurt looked to his right to see a handsome African American with a smile to rival Denzel Washington's coming towards him, the arts section of the New York Times tucked under his arm.

"Excuse me?"

"It's nine am." The other man explained with a laugh underlying his words. "Only two types of people are down here this early in the morning. Freshmen and those looking for lesson times for the fine arts requirement. So which is it?"

"Both." Kurt admitted with a shake of his head. "I just changed my schedule yesterday."

"Ah. Switched out of the music department didn't you?"

"How did you …"

"You knew exactly where to look for the available lesson times." The stranger explained pointing to the sheets Kurt had been studying just moments before. "Only those who have been down here before know where to look."

"So this makes you what? The Music Department Yoda?"

"All knowing I am." The stranger responded causing Kurt to laugh. "No. Just a sophomore. Former voice major who changed to piano pretty damn fast."

"Then you can help me figure out which one of the teachers would actually be decent. The last teacher I had was so deaf he couldn't tell if I was playing Bartok or Bach."

"Well you won't have that issue here. I'm Austin by the way. Austin Brooks."

"Kurt Hummel. Recovering voice major."

"Hummel. Wait the countertenor? I heard you. "Austin settled back on his heels and let out a whistle. "Damn they chased you out?"

"I was not chased. I just found my attention being focused elsewhere. "Kurt returned before Austin's words fully hit home. "Wait you heard me? Where did you hear me?"

"Wow. Always joked I just blended into the background. Nice to have to proof." Austin shook his head. "I was the pianist for the men's choir you were in last semester."

Now Kurt remembered him. Even though the director had introduced Austin at the beginning of the semester, Kurt had forgotten it and had taken to mentally calling him Brad whenever a particularly terrible sounding note rang from the piano. Having fooled around on the instrument during breaks between classes, he had realized early on the classroom pianos were ancient and out of tune, but still he had winced whenever a bad note sounded. Now that he was thinking about it, he could remember Austin shrugging and mouthing an apology every time it happened. "Yeah I remember you."

"Now that I said something you did." Austin guessed with a grin. "It's fine. Me and the spotlight don't get along all that well. One of the many reasons I switched out of the voice program."

"Someone in the music department who doesn't crave the spotlight? Is that even allowed?"

"It helps when the bigger divas forget you're there."

"Well I for one won't forget you if you help me pick a decent professor for these lessons." Kurt promised. "It won't help you much here but I can get the fashion department on your side easy."

"If you can't be the best, be the best dressed?"

"Exactly."

"Well see it's not that I don't want to help you. It's just hard to recommend someone when I don't know what skill level you're at. I'm going to have to hear you play."

There was something in Austin's eyes that made Kurt wonder if this was the other man's way of flirting. Ever since the Finn Fiasco, followed quickly by the Missing Matt Is Gay Mess, Kurt had been distrustful of his own instincts when it came to who was expressing interest and who was just being nice. Give him a crappy You Tube paparazzi feed on a celebrity and he could tell in three seconds or less, but when it came to a cute guy standing in front of him? He would get so confused he might confuse Judy Garland with Judi Dench. More often than not, he had to rely on Stephen or Raph's judgment before going any further. He had never heard the name Austin Brooks during one of his friends many rundowns on which guys were available and which were temporarily sidelined.

It's not like they were standing in the middle of a gay bar like that Geoffrey person he kept noticing with more and more frequency on Matt's Facebook page. Kurt wasn't entirely sure what was going on with that situation, but he definitely did not like it. What was Leah thinking taking Matt to a gay club? Didn't she know what kind of people hung out there? For Gaga's sake Raph went to The Avenue. He really needed to have a long talk with that girl. When they talked about making sure Matt got out of the library, that wasn't exactly what he had meant.

"If you don't want to, that's totally fine. I can give you some basic knowledge of…."Austin's soft voice cut through Kurt's thoughts. Shame flooded him as he realized he must have fallen silent for some time to cause Austin to stammer out that sentence. McQueen's ghost he was a terrible person.

"No. No. I'm sorry. I just spaced there for a second. I have no problem playing piano for you." Kurt smiled. "I just need to get to class soon."

"Oh yeah. Sure. Here." Austin pulled out a pen from his back pocket and wrote down a series of numbers on a corner of his paper before tearing the paper and handing it over to Kurt. "My cell. Call me with your schedule."

"Yeah. I'll do that."


	10. Chapter 10

Maybe he was just missing something.

It was possible after all, Artie reminded himself. He was only spending maybe an hour at the most with each guy. And of course they were going to be on their best behavior. Artie was the first of the entire gang to meet the new boyfriends. Not that Kurt or Matt ever referred to Geoffrey and Austin as such, but still it was kind of obvious. His every impression of every single nuance and syllable was going to be analyzed to death by all the girls and reluctantly the guys were going to admit to doing the same thing.

And both of them seemed really nice. Not that Artie had thought Kurt or Matt would suddenly develop an asshole fixation but it was still good to see these guys were nice guys. Funny. Smart. And giving Artie the wickedest case of déjà vue ever recorded.

He knew both his friends could at times be described as clueless. Kurt had no gaydar to speak of and Matt always came across as shocked when someone remembered his name. Yet clearly, they had to know. They had to realize what they were doing. Didn't they? They weren't really _that _clueless were they? He was just clearly over-thinking this. Or under-thinking this. Or he was just applying stereotypes and needed to take a sensitivity course when he got back to school next week. There had to be something he was missing.

Maybe if he went over it again? Taking a deep breath, Artie started to wheel himself through the Mid-Center Mall. He was supposed to meet Leah and Matt at Sheet-N-Things at 5:30, and then it was dinner to celebrate the end of spring break. Matt had elected to stay on campus, finish up some projects and earn some much needed extra money. Artie had divided his own break between visiting Kurt earlier in the week and the end of the week with Matt. Glancing down at his watch, Artie noted he had at least an hour before he was due to meet his friends. Plenty of time to figure out exactly what he was missing.

He hadn't thought it was possible while they were both at McKinley, but Artie was convinced Kurt was becoming even more flamboyant. Or at least he was clearly making Adam Lambert his fashion idol. The green nails hadn't been too much of a surprise. Kurt had been known to slip in some black polish every now and again in the choir room. Usually around the time of a dance. The subtle use of eyeliner, however, had been new. The pocket of his backpack had the exact color and name brand Kurt used to pass the information on to Tina. What had been the biggest shock was seeing Kurt be on the more subtle end of self-expression compared to the rest of his classmates.

Kurt had introduced Austin as his "piano tutor" which everyone knew was complete and total crap. Kurt had never missed a piano lesson in all the years Artie knew him. And that included the last few years with deaf Mr. Galloway from Piqua. Besides, Kurt wasn't a piano major, so why exactly would he need a "piano tutor"? When Artie had asked that exact question, Kurt never had been able to come up with a satisfactory answer but was sure fun to watch his friend turn about fifteen shades of red at once.

Austin had been quiet, so quiet at first Artie was afraid he had offended the other guy when he had recounted his ultimate victory in his dorm-wide Halo contest. When he mentioned his fear to Kurt, his friend had just laughed it off, claiming Austin was just shy and did better in a one-on-one situation. At the time, Artie hadn't wanted to know too much about specific one-on-one situations so he had just let that comment slide on by. But now…..

When the movie debate had started, Artie again had just chalked it up to it being a safe subject for three people to discuss. Of course when Austin started defending the films Artie loved, he had to admit he felt the need to do a double take. But he had been so happy to have a conversation finally going; Artie had once again ignored that feeling of "hey that's kinda weird."

Of course that wasn't to say if he discovered Austin at one point played football and had sung in a show choir, that Artie wouldn't have wheeled directly into Kurt and destroyed his every designer shirt under his wheels to make his friend admit the truth.

He might have just found it funny, and probably would have written it all off to just coincidence until he met Geoffrey. By contrast, Geoffrey had been talking a mile a minute, making reference that Arte barely understood, although he did gather they were all related to fashion or cinema before Lucas and Spielberg came along.

Geoffrey had did a good job of hiding his displeasure at his sweater and suspenders, but the oh so causal offer to come by Abercrombie today while he was working seemed to indicate an ambush makeover was being planned. Artie planned to be nowhere near that particular store until he couldn't possibly avoid it any longer. Or at least until Leah was there waiting for Matt as well. Safety in numbers after all.

"Abrams I don't know what that pretzel stand did to you, but it certainly does not warrant a death stare." Leah's amused voice cut through his musings. Shaking his head as she neared, Artie resolved to put the whole matter behind him. If his friends were happy, what business was it of his if their current partners seemed awfully familiar?

"It was taunting me." Artie explained with a smile he hoped was convincing. "I eat one of these and I'm useless for this dinner I was promised."

"Yeah this particular pretzel stand and I have come to an understanding. It stays ridiculously expensive and tempting and I stay broke and avoid it."

"Sounds like a stellar plan." Leah fell into step with him as they started to loop back through the diminishing crowds rushing to get something to eat. "So I didn't hear when you all came in last night. Please tell me you figured out a way to get my brother drunk so he was totally hung over his entire shift."

"No." Artie admitted with a sad shrug. "But we did get him to do karaoke."

To be completely honest, Geoffrey had managed that one. Now Artie had no issues seeing Matt go up on stage with a group of friends. That would have been nothing. But a solo performance of Michael Jackson's "Bad"? Now that Artie hadn't seen coming.

"Ah. You met Geoffrey. He's the only one who can Matt up on that stage." Leah nodded before amending her statement. "Well one of the only ones."

Artie looked up at his friend's older sister, seeing a knowing glint in her eye. "You see it to don't you?"

"See that Geoffrey is Kurt if Kurt had access to gay clubs in Lima? Yeah. I see it. "

"Oh thank God Woman. I thought I was just going crazy. Especially after meeting Austin."

"Yeah Austin." Leah sat down abruptly on a bench, causing Artie to apply his breaks or roll right past her. "Look I haven't met him clearly, but from the little bit Kurt's told me it just seems that he's….."

"Matt's soccer playing, piano loving cousin?" Artie supplied.

"YES!" Leah all but shouted.

"They do realize they are just dating each other right? Obviously slight differences but still. They have to see it right?"

"I've tried to point this out to Matt." Leah sighed. "He just thinks I'm crazy and keeps reminding me that I was the one who told him it was time for him to get into the dating pool. So, no my blind idiot brother doesn't realize it. I'm guessing Kurt doesn't see it either?"

Artie shook his head. "No. The last time he missed something like this? We all thought Matt was straight."

"Morons. We tell them both for months to either date other people or admit they aren't over each other and what do they do? Find other people that completely remind the rest of us of each other. I don't know whether to congratulate them for driving me so crazy or just pound their heads together until all the stubbornness oozes out of their ears."

"Well I guess we know what their type is right?"

"I like Geoffrey. And I'm sure if I ever meet Austin I would like him too. But this is just not going to end well for any of them."

"Word." Artie nodded. "Only Kurt would figure out a way to make his life exactly like a soap opera."

"And only Matt would find a way to unintentionally completely complicate his life."

"What are we going to do with them?"

"I don't know about you, but I plan on pointing this fact out until Matt finally accepts I'm right."

"Twenty bucks says he never does."

"You're on. And don't think you can pass off that old twenty you and my brother keep passing around. Cause you aren't getting it back Abrams."


	11. Chapter 11

"Dude you aren't going to eat that?" Finn's eyes almost bulged out of his head as he watched his stepbrother push around the hamburger sitting on his plate. True, Kurt never was a big fan of burgers to begin with, but he usually made an exception for things like parties. And tonight was certainly a party. Almost everyone was finally home for the summer. Or at least part of the summer. Both Mike and Rachel had booked opportunities in different summer stock companies and would leave at the end of the week. Finn still wasn't sure he understood what all Rachel had babbled at him but he had figured out it was high prestigious ( a word Finn still remembered from the ACT study cards Kurt had made him look at) and an important stepping stone. His ex-girlfriend at that point in the explanation drug out her dog-eared copy of the book Beaches in order to show him passages that gave "a taste, but not a true one obviously but still it does illuminate the drive and the lengths some of my competition will go to get a jump on the competition even at this early stage of my rise to stardom and Tony Awards". That was the point Finn had mumbled something about needing to help Burt at the grill and ran away.

"Not hungry. You want it?" Kurt pushed his plate towards Finn, who scooped up the poor unloved burger immediately.

"You sure? I haven't seen you eat anything like all day. You aren't going to be sick are you?" Finn asked suspiciously. It wasn't like he minded helping Kurt when the smaller boy was sick. It was more the fact Finn had more than his fair share of cleaning up other people's vomit in the frat house. His Big Brother kept telling him Puke Monitor was a high honor, but Finn still couldn't quite bring himself to believe it.

"I assure you I'm in perfect health. I am just trying to lose the unfortunate freshman fifteen." Kurt offered up with a smile. "I've been eating everything on the vegetable trays and from those vegan platters Rachel brought."

"You ate that?" Finn wrinkled his face in disgust. He remembered well the difficulty it had been finding a restaurant in Lima that accommodated Rachel's diet restrictions. It was an issue he was positive she no longer had in New York. She had made him eat something called a Tofurky once and Finn couldn't help but think of it every time he saw sawdust. "You'll definitely be sick later."

"Some of it is not that bad once you get used to it." Kurt defended. "I've been toying with the idea of becoming vegetarian myself. I hardly ever eat meat anyways. And it's very eco-chic."

"Don't worry Finn." Mercedes smiled as she sat down next to her best friend. "If he gets sick I'll stay and clean him up. After all I know the full moisturizing routine better than you do."

"See? I'm fine. Cedes will take care of me." Kurt smiled at Finn's obvious relief at being relieved of his possible baby-sitting sick Kurt duty. "Now go make sure Puck doesn't burn down the house before I get a chance to teach him the finer points of stripping a chasse."

Mercedes leaned closer to Kurt as Finn took off across the yard to where Puck was currently manning the grill. "You realize Puck probably stopped listening to you after you said strip right?"

"Of course. But won't Dad's dear inventory guy be surprised when he sees what it actually is." Kurt winked at her. That was kind of the entire point of volunteering to help Puck master the work in the shop for his mechanic certification. A guy did have to have some fun over the summer after all.

"So, tell me the real reason you aren't eating." Mercedes said simply, leaning back on the bench next to the house. "And don't give me that freshman fifteen nonsense. Your skinny ass could actually use the extra padding."

"First off we both know all extra weight goes right to my pear hips. And those don't need any help thank you very little. And secondly, there is no real reason. I'm not hungry and I'm thinking of being a vegetarian. No big conspiracy theory. Someone's been talking to Artie too much on Facebook."

"Try that line of bullshit with someone who doesn't know you as well as I do. " Mercedes crossed her arms in front of her. "I always know when you're lying white boy so you might as well give it up."

"And just what would I possibly be lying about?"

"That your little diet has something to do with a certain ex not coming home this summer?" Mercedes asked sweetly, keeping her eye trained on Kurt to gauge any flinching no matter how small. "You know since it seemed to start the day Matt finally said he wasn't coming home."

He could feel her eyes on him and forced his every muscle to stay still. Yes he was disappointed Matt had elected to stay in Columbus for the summer but it wasn't like he didn't understand the reasons perfectly. It was a little silly to transfer back to the Sheets-N-Things in Lima for three months. By the time all the paperwork processed, Matt would be back in school. Plus Matt would be able to knock out most of his community service requirement for one of his scholarships by working the summer camp the center put on. All very valid, logical and smart reasons for Matt to stay put. The drive wasn't that bad and there was always the opportunity for quick weekend trips down to see him if the need for a road trip hit the group.

"Matt being here or in Columbus doesn't affect me in the least. We've moved on Cedes. We're friends. He has Geoffrey and I have Austin. Have you forgotten that fact?"

"Oh you've both moved on?" Mercedes arched her eyebrow in a way Kurt imagined she stole from him. "That's why you're both basically dating clones of each other."

"You are crazy circa Brittney Spears with the clippers. Austin and Matt are totally different. And I am nothing like that Geoffrey person."

"That Geoffrey person? Oh yeah you are so over Matt." Mercedes shook her head. "Just admit you still have feeling for him and quit driving us all crazy."

"Of course I still have feelings for him. I probably always will. But we're friends now and that is all there is to it. I'm happy if Matt found someone who made him happy. Wasn't I the first one to like the change in his relationship status on Facebook?"

"And he was the first one to like yours as well a week later." Mercedes nodded. "Still doesn't change the fact you two have a very specific type. And the sooner you realize that, white boy, the better off you're going to be. "

"And just how is all this related to my giving Finn my burger?"

"When you are depressed, you don't eat." Mercedes pointed out simply. "Not even a Diet Coke. And you've been barely eating this entire party."

"I'm just not hungry. That's all. I'm not spiraling into a depression. It's just a big adjustment to be back here and away from all the craziness of my classmates. I'm still decompressing. That's all." Kurt smiled at his best friend. He knew she meant well and was only looking out for him. But really she couldn't be further from the truth. He just wasn't hungry today. It had nothing to do with Matt or Matt's new boyfriend or possibly seeing both of them in a few days before Mike left for the summer. Nothing at all.


	12. Chapter 12

If he made out of this weekend alive, Mike Chang was stopping at the nearest gas station and buying a lottery ticket, because he would clearly be the luckiest man in the world.

Standing in front of Matt and Leah's apartment, Mike shifted his weight from foot to foot. He tried to look for a sign that this would all turn out ok. After all it was for Matt's own good he was doing this. Clearly just talking to his best friend wasn't working. He had been forced to do this. Yes, forced. That was exactly what he was going to say when Matt inevitably cornered him on this.

"Are you ok?" Kurt asked, concern written all over his face. "You look like you're about to be sick."

"Just not used to all the driving." Mike lied. "I walk a lot in New York."

Yeah it had absolutely nothing to do with this ambush reunion he had set up. With Mercedes help that was. It this went bad, there was no way he was going down with the ship alone on this one. His girl (Was she still his girl? They hadn't really talked about it. But still, they were much clearer on where they stood with each other than the two stubborn idiots they were friends with, so that was saying something right there.) was in this up to her pretty little eyeballs. When Kurt started looking for someone to attack, Mike was pointing him in the direction of Lima and the Jones residence. Taking a deep breath, Mike attempted to will himself calm. If he didn't stop, Kurt was going to notice something was up. It was all going to be fine. Leah was going to open the door in a second and everything was going to go fine.

Of course if Matt opened the door it was clearly all going to go to hell. But it was going to be Leah. Leah was going to be opening the door. Any second now.

The door to 714C swung open to reveal a fashionable dressed blonde with a welcoming smile that faltered for just a second when he noticed two people standing in the doorway. "Hi! You must be Mike. I'm Geoffrey. Matt's told me so much about you."

"Yeah. Nice to meet you." Somehow he managed to get the words out of his throat and past his lips. Clearly he should have thought of a third option. If Geoffrey opened the door, Mike was going to be murdered, after a Misery style torture session. Why the hell didn't he even consider Geoffrey being here? Because it was _far_ too logical?

Geoffrey turned towards Kurt, smile still firmly in place. "I'm sorry I just didn't know there was going to be two of you. I thought just Mike was visiting. I'm Geoffrey."

The side eye Kurt shot him pretty much confirmed his whole he was going to be murdered theory. Mike smiled hopefully as Kurt tried to keep from strangling him in front of a witness. "It was a last minute decision. Kurt. Nice to meet you."

Watching the two of them shake hands was almost like how Mike imagined it would be if Jennifer Aniston ever had to give an award to Angelina Jolie. Minus the way hotter girl on girl hair pulling. But still it was a little bizarre to see Kurt and the guy Artie had nicknamed Kurt 2.0 shake hands, barely concealing the fact they were sizing each other up. So that answered that question. Geoffrey obviously knew who Kurt was. Oh good. He just signed up for a weekend of passive aggressive romantic intrigue straight from the pages of Soap Opera Digest. When this weekend was over Matt as so going to owe him. This was his fault after all. Here Mike was doing this out of the kindness of own heart, trying to help his best friend and brother out, and what happens? A disaster. Yes, Mike decided suddenly, this was clearly all Matt's fault.

"Come in." Geoffrey finally motioned to them. "Matt should be here any minute. It all depends on when the last camper is picked up."

Kurt just about turned transparent at those words. Mike closed his eyes in exasperation. Geoffrey couldn't be living here. Matt moved slower than an iceberg. And Leah would have said something right? But Mike had to admit, the whole being there when Matt wasn't thing didn't look good. "So you stay here too?" he asked, trying to pretend Kurt wasn't shooting him a death glare to shut him up.

"No it just seems like it." Leah laughed as she came into the living room from the small hallway. "He magically disappears whenever the rent comes due."

"Leah. Beautiful as always." Kurt genuinely smiled at her as he crossed the room to hug her.

"See this is why I need you to transfer to OSU. You are too good for my ego." Leah teased. "It's been too long Superstar."

"You know how school can get." Kurt defended himself. "And I'm here now aren't I?"

"That you are." Leah nodded before turning towards Mike, moving to give him a hug. "Twinkle Toes."

"Hey Leah. Good to see you."

"You are either a genius or the biggest idiot on the planet." Leah whispered in his ear. "Either way, we're totally taping every minute of this weekend."

* * *

"You said they knew I was coming" Kurt hissed twenty minutes later when they were finally left alone. A clearly reluctant Geoffrey had been elected by Leah to head to the store for what she deemed necessary supplies for the night. Leah had quickly followed after him, promising she was just going to run out to the liquor store, but not before whispering instructions to Mike to text her everything that was happening if Matt came home before she did.

"I said they would be cool with it." Mike defended. "And Leah is. Matt will be too."

"Mike!"

"What? So I didn't mention you were coming with me. I thought it would be a good surprise for Matt. And you were just saying you haven't seen Leah in forever."

"And you just what? That we'd decide to re-create the ending of Love Actually?" Kurt rocked back on his heel and fixed his best "bitch please" glare on Mike. Mike at least had the decency to squirm a little at the accusation. Ok maybe he hadn't thought that _exactly_, that was more Mercedes's idea than his, but something close.

"I was thinking more along the lines that you'd be happy to see each other and be amazed at my epic surprise planning skills."

"I'm leaving. I'm going home." Kurt declared, waving his arms. "Just no. No. And people say I have bad planning skills? Oh no one can say that to me ever again."

"Come on. Don't leave." Mike grabbed his friend's arm. "Stay. It won't be that bad once Matt gets over the whole surprise thing."

"Yes because spending the weekend with your ex and your new boyfriend is just a recipe for fun and frivolity." Kurt shot back. "Did _Jerry Springer_ get cancelled and you need a new train wreck to watch?"

"How's it going to be a train wreck if you and Matt are such great friends?"Mike shot back, smirking when he saw Kurt stop. Ha, he thought triumphantly. Had him there. Oh how it must suck to get caught up in your own web of denial. "Running out like this would imply you aren't nearly as over him as you claim."

"He has a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend. Are you forgetting this fact?"

"No. And if you guys are just friends then this will be a weekend of high school friends catching up. Nothing to worry about. "Mike pointed out, smiling as he heard the key turn in the lock. "Besides you can't leave now without trying to explain it without sounding like someone still hung up on their ex."

Kurt shook his head, narrowing his eyes. "I wouldn't sleep tonight if I were you."

"I'm hiding all the knives" Mike whispered, although he suspected right now Kurt would be able to carve his heart out with a cereal spoon.

"Mike?" Matt opened the door, a grin on his face. "Leah texted me you….."

Mike tried very hard to not laugh as Matt and Kurt locked eyes with each other for the first time since Christmas and his best friend's voice trailed off. Damn this was better than the soaps. He could spontaneously combust right now and neither one of them would notice.

"Kurt. I didn't…I didn't know you were coming."

"Yeah. Surprise."


	13. Chapter 13

Someday, when he was old, grey and on his fabulously decorated deathbed, Kurt knew this night was going to be identified as the longest, strangest, most awkward night of his life. And considering that would also include his ill-advised decision to briefly date Brittany of all people that was saying something.

He should have listened to his first instinct, the one that told him to dump Mike's worthless ass in the hallway the second he realized neither Matt nor Leah had any clue Mike was dragging him along on this visit. To be fair, he also should have figured something was going on when no one else accepted Mike's invitation to tag along. That should have been the clue right there. But of course, he had somehow gotten himself talked into going with Mike (Mercedes had a lot of groveling to do when he got home. She was so off the best friend list at the moment) and spent the rest of the time freaking out over how exactly he was going to handle all this.

The answer to that question, of course, was badly. Very badly. Kurt prided himself on being a performer but he could admit his skills had gotten a little out of practice since he switched majors. So he couldn't be one hundred percent sure he had in fact projected the image of a calm, collected, completely mature man who was just having a friendly dinner with an old high school friend who just happened to be his ex. And with the ex's new boyfriend. Oh he had tried, he gave it his best effort, but if pressed he couldn't be positive he had been able to keep from rolling his eyes almost every time Geoffrey opened his mouth to speak.

Casting a cold stare at Mike's sleeping form on the couch; Kurt stood up and moved quietly towards the kitchen. He had insisted Mike take the couch, after all _he_ was the surprise guest; Mike had actually been invited. Leah had offered to share her bed with him, an offer he had been sorely tempted to take her up on. However, given that Leah's room was directly across the hall from Matt's, and the fact Geoffrey was behind that door right this second, Kurt decided it was probably better for everyone involved if he just stayed out in the small living room. He'd get no sleep, but not like he would actually sleep if he stayed in Leah's room either. It was one thing to know Matt was dating someone else; he really didn't want to contemplate the reality of it all that much, thanks for nothing Michael Chang. If he was going to be plagued with insomnia tonight, he might as well have a believable excuse of the hard floor and Mike's snoring.

Kurt flipped on the overhead light with maybe a little more force than was necessary, not caring the slightest bit if it woke Mike up. It would be the least of what he deserved. The only thing, and Kurt did mean only thing, saving Mike right now from having his heart slowly cut out of his body (patterned after his years of watching Grey's Anatomy and their surgery sequences) was the fact Mercedes did love the meddling troublemaker. Oh but he would get his revenge. Just when Mike thought he had forgotten all about this, that was when he would strike. Seeing a trail of drool form at the corner of Mike's mouth, Kurt tiptoed over to where his suitcase stood in the corner. Easily fishing out the camera Carole insisted he bring with him, Kurt made his way over to the edge of the couch. Focusing the picture, Kurt zoomed in, taking special care to capture all the drool. When he was satisfied with the centering of the image, he pushed the button, taking pleasure in the telltale click of the picture being saved. Kurt smirked. That picture would come in handy in what would likely be phase one of his revenge.

"If you wait an hour or so, he starts talking in his sleep." Matt's quiet voice startled Kurt so much he jumped. "Use the movie function of your camera. It will be completely worth it. And a lot better revenge than a picture of him drooling."

"Why do you think that's what I'm doing?"

Matt scoffed softly. "Yeah I kinda know you. You've been plotting how to kill him all night."

Well it was better Matt thought he was plotting how to kill Mike than trying to figure out how many napkins he could shove down Geoffrey's throat to make him shut up permanently. Kurt shrugged with a slight smile. "Well he is deserving of it Gaga knows."

"Oh agreed. Just wait till you aren't here. The community center kinda frowns on the police showing up at the homes of their counselors. Something about being a good role model?"

"I guess since it's you asking, I can hold off for now. Besides it's better when they don't know it's coming. "

"Yes. My suggestion was all about you." Matt laughed motioning for Kurt to follow him out on to the small balcony what was advertised as a dining area. The heat of the day had dissipated nicely, the night air not carrying a hint of the humidity that had plagued them during the daytime. Kurt sat down in the rickety chair Matt indicated as Matt sat on an equally distressed looking chair next to him.

"These things won't break will they?" Kurt asked as the chair squeaked under the pressure of his weight.

"Hopefully not. "Matt shrugged. "We won't be able to find replacements until later this summer."

"You're making me sit in someone else's garbage aren't you?" Kurt asked suspiciously. Stephen and Rafe had tried to convince him of the benefits of such shopping but Kurt just couldn't fathom it. Someone had thrown it away. There was a good reason for that.

"I think it's best you don't know." Matt smiled. "Just think of them as really antique."

A comfortable silence fell between them, broken only by the occasional sound of a car driving down the street. Kurt kept his eyes trained on the stars. Looking over at Matt, in the moonlight, was probably a bad idea. A very bad idea considering Matt's boyfriend was just down the hall. Not to mention Austin was very much in the picture.

"I just want you to know…" Kurt began hesitantly. "I just want you to know Mike didn't tell me he didn't mention I was coming to until we got here. I wouldn't have just shown up like this."

"I figured. " Matt sighed softly. "I'm sure Mike thought he was being funny or something."

"Or something." Kurt agreed. They both knew what that "or something" was. And it was better to leave it in the past. Where it belonged. He needed to change the subject and fast. "So how's that camp you're working at? Have you educated all the children as to who Adam Pascal is so they don't grow up as ignorant as you did?"

"Not quite." Matt chuckled. "Trust me I'm trying. But it's going great actually. A lot better than I expected it to."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I knew I was going to be working with kids. And I thought it would be ok, since my group is like 12, 13 you know? But it's been a lot more fun than I thought it would be. And a few of them…." Matt's voice trailed off and he shook his head. "Forget it. It's nothing."

"No. A few of them what?" Kurt was genuinely curious. The last time he had heard Matt sound so happy, well it had been a long time.

"It sounds stupid but I think, I think I might be helping them. Which is weird because I have no idea what I'm doing. "

"It's not that weird. You didn't exactly know what you were doing in glee and you were great."

"This just feels different than that. Like I could maybe see myself doing this awhile."

"Matthew Rutherford. Are you actually considering a major? I thought that wasn't a part of the plan until the end of sophomore year."

"Well technically I already passed that so I'm a little behind." Matt pointed out. "But yeah. I've already talked to the center director about being in the mentor program once school starts up again but I'm thinking maybe psychology."

"I think that's perfect for you." Kurt said honestly, leaning over to rest his hand on Matt's arm. "Really. I think you'd be great at it."

"I don't know. I'm still thinking about it. I mean it would a lot of school. Grad school for sure. That's a lot of money I don't have."

"But if it's what you want to do, you should go for it." Kurt advised. "You didn't think you could swing college and here you are, scholarships out the ear. I have no doubt that if this is what you want to do, you'll get where you need to be. I don't know if you've noticed this before, but once you have a goal, you get a tiny bit tunnel visioned."

"A tiny bit?"

"Microscopic. Like the cast of _Jersey Shore_'s actual talent level. "Kurt smiled at him. "You should do it."

"And if I'm wrong and at the end of this camp I find out I actually traumatized these kids for life because I'm completely inept?"

"Then you change your mind about the major." Kurt shrugged. "Not the end of the world. I think Tina's on major number 4. And you have a long way to go before catching up to Finn. I don't even think Carole knows what he's majoring in at this point."

"I think I just needed to hear someone else say that." Matt shook his head with a chuckle. "Someone I trust."

Not thinking about what the consequences could be, Kurt slipped his hand onto of Matt's and squeezed his hand. "I think it's a great idea. And if you don't do it, I'll send Rachel down for an entire week."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For….for being my friend still?"

"Always. "


	14. Chapter 14

"Dude, I'm starting to get worried about Kurt." Finn announced as they stood up to do the wave with the rest of the fans in Ohio Stadium.

"What?" Matt asked, convinced he hadn't actually heard Finn correctly. Finn had come up with several of his frat brothers to see the Ohio University-Ohio State game and his friend had consumed more than a few beers since the start of it. Yes they were both still technically underage, but there were ways around that for frat brothers.

Besides if Finn was actually worried about something to do with Kurt, surely Finn would have better sense than to blurt it out while the OSU band started in on their signature rendition of "Hang On Sloopy." There were concepts like appropriate time and place that generally Finn understood. People did not just blurt out they were worried about someone when said person's name hadn't been brought up in conversation all day. For a reason. There was generally some lead up to it. Some conversational cue at least.

Oh wait. Matt leaned his head back and rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh of exasperation. There was a cue. "Hang On Sloopy". Senior year, Mr. Schue had tried to suggest the song as a number for nationals, a tribute to their home state as it was. Matt still had to laugh whenever he heard the song and flashbacked to looks of absolute shock on the faces of his fellow glee club members. Kurt had very seriously asked Mr. Schue if he was on the edge of a break down since Miss Pillsbury had accepted a position at a new school. Kurt had sworn for weeks afterwards it was worth the detention and lecture from his dad since that seemed to have the desired effect of snapping Mr. Schue back into reality.

An inebriated Finn totally would think discussing his worry about Kurt in the middle of a packed football stadium was appropriate after hearing that particular song.

"There's something going on with him." Finn continued. "He keeps saying everything is fine but it's just not. I know it's not."

"Maybe he's just distracted with school." Matt offered. After all Kurt was pursuing a field that was notoriously competitive and fickle. And Kurt was as competitive as they came. He had to make a name for himself. There was no waiting around to be discovered in fashion. Or at least that was how Kurt had always explained it to him.

"It's been going on longer than just school." Finn argued. "He's been this way since summer. Haven't you noticed it?"

"We've…we've not really talked since he came down with Mike." Matt admitted.

It had been great to actually see Kurt again, if a little jarring at first. The last thing he expected when woke up that morning was to see Kurt standing in his craphole of an apartment that night. It was awkward, a little uncomfortable and even though he pretended not to, Matt had not missed the level of tension that ran between Geoffrey and Kurt. Hell even Brittany could have figured out what was going on there. He hadn't actually thought it was going to get worse but once it became obvious Geoffrey had no intention of going to his own apartment, Matt had braced himself for someone to start the name calling. Thankfully it hadn't come that night.

Oh no, that had waited till after Kurt and Mike went back to Lima. Geoffrey had fairly exploded that night. Well, Matt amended as he remembered that particular night, maybe exploded was a little harsh of a term. But he definitely wasn't happy.

"_I appreciate the fact you had no prior knowledge of this ambush but I really wish you would explain to your friends that this match-making kick they are on is out of line." Geoffrey leaned back on his heels, crossing his arms in front of him. _

"_They are not on some match-making kick" Matt had protested as he went to sit on the couch. "Mike has a really odd sense of humor."_

"_Matthew, I know they are your friends and you love them. It's great they were supportive of you when all the drama with your family happened." Geoffrey started to move towards him. Not that Matt had told him everything about what went on back then. But it didn't take a genius to figure out something bad had happened for him and Leah to both be completely on their own with the rest of their family in Lima. "But they are not being supportive of you now."_

"_Look you just don't know them well."_

"_They don't want to get to know me." Geoffrey corrected. "They seem really nice and they've been nothing but nice to me. But they aren't exactly welcoming."_

"_I know we tend to close ranks around each other."Matt apologized. "But after seeing Rachel get used by Jesse, and then that chick from California Finn was fooling around with the year we lost at Nationals who got our set list out of him? We're a little overprotective. They like you. They'll come around."_

"_Not while you're still friends with Kurt they won't."_

"_Oh come on. Kurt has a boyfriend. He's not looking to get back together. They know that."_

"_Yeah that's why they've nicknamed me Kurt 2.0" Geoffrey rolled his eyes. "For what it's worth I don't think he is trying to win you back. But it wouldn't kill you to tell them stunts like this are way harsh Tai." _

_It was never good when Geoffrey started quoting Clueless. It generally meant he was going to watch that movie sometime in the near future. "What are you asking me to do?"_

"_I just think it would help if you and Kurt weren't so friendly. I am very impressed the two of you actually are friends. But it's not the most comfortable position to be in from where I sit. I'm sure if you asked him Kurt's new boyfriend would probably be feeling the same way."_

Geoffrey did have a point. He and Kurt could still be friends, but he had a different life now. Relying on Kurt as a safety net was him clinging to a past he had to let go of. Kurt was making his own life in Toledo. He had to do the same in Columbus. Talking to Kurt about every major decision was a habit. One he had to break. In his effort to do exactly that, Matt hadn't exactly been in close contact with Kurt since that visit. And Kurt seemed to be making the exact same effort. They still chatted on Facebook from time to time, but they were both making efforts to not have the conversation go all night like they did in the past.

Finn shot him a confused look. "You haven't talked to him?"

"Finn, we broke up. Over a year ago. Do you talk to Rachel all the time?"

"Well no but Matt…"

"No. There's no but Matt's here. We broke up. We're both seeing other people. I'll always be his friend but I'm not going to be the first one to know what's going on with him. Or if there's anything to worry about. That's just how it is Finn."

"Fine. But I'm still worried about him." Finn took a sip of his watery beer.

"Ok. Tell me why you're worried about him."

"It's just…he just seems off. You know? He still makes the same jokes and all but it doesn't feel the same. When he's home he plays with JoBeth and that's about it. And he always seems to be dieting. Even when Mom purposely makes his favorites, like on his birthday? Something's wrong. I just can't tell what it is yet."

"It's probably just stress from school." Matt offered up. "He switched majors and we both know he's probably convinced himself he's starting years behind instead of a few months. And I think being on a constant diet is a prerequisite for being in fashion. Have you seen his pictures on Facebook? He's in class with stick figures. "

"Maybe."

"Have you talked with him about this?" Seeing Finn nod, Matt pressed on. "Well what did he say?"

"Same thing you did." Finn shrugged. "It's school. "

"And do you have any reason to think otherwise?"

"No."

"Well then I think you might be over-reacting a little bit. Just keep talking to him. If there is something wrong, I'm sure he'll tell you or Mercedes eventually."

"I figured he'd probably tell you."

"Times change Finn." Matt shrugged his shoulders. "I think he'd tell you if something was really wrong."

Finn let out a sigh. "Maybe. But if he tells you…"

"Then I'll tell you and Cedes immediately. I promise."


	15. Chapter 15

**Oh great Gaga..I am so sorry you all! Real life unexpectedly kicked my ass and my muse last week. Idina had no clue how to approach this chapter...and she honestly didn't show up until about a third of the way through this one. But this week looks to be loads better. Love you all! **

"Hey baby." Mike slid next to Mercedes on the Hummel family couch, resting his arm around her shoulder. While Thanksgiving had been celebrated in their respective houses, but the day after? The traditional watching of the girls and Kurt crashing after hitting all the Black Friday sales had to be observed. Right now she should be pouring through what he judged to be a mountain of bags to show exactly what she bought. She shouldn't be sitting here looking like her favorite designer just got Auf'ed of Project Runway. And with that thought Mike realized he had officially hung out with Kurt entirely too often. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Mercedes shook her head.

"Please." Mike protested. "I've not seen you this down since we thought glee was going to be cancelled sophomore year. I know you. Something's wrong."

"You'll think I'm crazy."

"I have never thought you're crazy." Mike protested before tilting his head in thought. "Well except the time you joined the Cheerios. But I thought that about anyone who willingly put themselves under Coach Sylvester's control. So that also included Santana, Brittany, Quinn and Kurt."

Mercedes smiled a little at that one as he nudged her shoulder. "At least if Coach Sylvester was in the picture, I would know for sure what it was." She said softly under her breath.

"How's that again?"

Looking over to where Kurt sat chattering away with Brittany and Santana, Mercedes sighed. "I don't think he's eating anything all day."

"Kurt? Of course he has." Mike scoffed. "He probably ate before you all left."

"We didn't sleep last night." Mercedes argued. "None of us did. And I'm telling you that skinny white boy didn't eat a damn thing."

"Cedes. You couldn't have possibly been with him all day. He probably snuck off to the food court while you were trying something on."

"Spoken like a true man who's never been to the mall of Black Friday. There's no way he could have snuck off and gotten back without anyone noticing." Mercedes scoffed. "Haven't you noticed how much skinnier he is than over the summer?"

"Maybe but he's been working off that freshmen fifteen right?"

"Mike, baby I love you but you really need to pay more attention to these things. " Mercedes shook her head. "If Kurt gained anything close to fifteen pounds then I'm fitting into Quinn's prom dress."

"Hey Kurt hasn't exactly been talking to me since that little ambush _you_ helped me set up." Mike held up his hands. "I was a little surprised he didn't demand I leave immediately when I showed up today."

"Well that's just because you came with Matt. And we agreed that was for their own good." Mercedes swatted his knee. "And you couldn't talk Matt out of inviting Geoff back for Thanksgiving? That's not even close to helping here."

"Matt didn't exactly confide that one to me." Mike pointed out, wincing as he rubbed his leg. God knew he loved Mercedes, but damn if she didn't forget how hard she could hit at times. "And he only came down tonight. "

Mike could tell exactly what Mercedes was thinking as she glared across the room where Geoffrey and Matt stood making small talk with Quinn. And he agreed with her. This whole Geoffrey denial thing his boy had going on had nothing but disaster written all over it. Even Finn would have been able to pick up the tension between Kurt and Geoffrey that weekend he had narrowly escaped death. And Matt thought it was a good idea to invite Geoffrey down to spend the holiday, knowing at some point he would be running into Kurt? Mike was half tempted to call up all those places that gave Matt scholarships and explain what an epic dumbass his best friend really was.

Ok sure, Mike could understand what Matt claimed Geoffrey's point was. Most people weren't nearly as close to their exes as Matt and Kurt were. Hell, he only handled Mercedes and Puck still being friends as well as he did because he knew that relationship had barely counted as one. And Mike had in no way missed the way Quinn's boyfriend Joel shifted uncomfortably when Finn or Puck leaned over to tell Quinn something. It had to suck and Mike hoped he would never ever be in that particular position. Unlike Matt, he had enough sense to recognize a good thing when he had one.

He had to admit he had been more than a little surprised to see Matt and Geoffrey were still dating. Although, why it surprised him Mike didn't know. He knew better than anyone how stubborn Matt could be when he set his mind to something. (Anyone, that was but Kurt Mike reasoned.) And if Matt decided that what he wanted was to date Geoffrey, to hell withal his friends and sister pointing out the blindingly obvious, then that was is. It was senior year and Matt refusing all offers of help paying for school offered to him all over again.

"I don't care if he came down for an hour. That boy's presence does not mean good things for my boy." Mercedes stated crossing her arms in front of her. "If he's really not eating, this will only make it worse."

"So you aren't sure." Mike nodded. "You admit he could be eating, just not around you."

"Finn's worried too you know. And if Finn's thinking something's wrong…"

"Well have either of you talked to Kurt? I've seen his Facebook postings lately. He's always cooking. Ninety percent of his photos lately have been meals he's made for those roommates of his."

"I know but my momma taught me to never trust a skinny chef. And yes we've both talked to him. Who do you think you're talking to baby?"

"Alright that was a dumb question." Mike admitted. "What did he say?"

"That we're worrying about something that isn't happening. He's just on a diet is all." Mercedes shrugged her shoulders. "And he said it exactly the same way he would always say he was fine after being tossed in the dumpster. He wasn't fine then and I know my boy isn't fine now."

"If there is a problem and Kurt doesn't want to admit it, I don't know what else you can do Cedes."

"Well maybe if Matt talked to him….."

"Oh no." Mike shook his head. He should have seen this one coming. Matt had mentioned Finn's idea that Kurt would confide in him the other month. Clearly his girl and Finn have been spending too much time talking to each other lately. "Matt's barely forgiven me for this summer."

"I'm not talking about setting him up or anything. I just think if Matt talks to him, we might have a better idea of what's going on with Kurt. I know he wouldn't be able to not let something slip around Matt. He'd be so busy trying to pretend he's not still in love with him that he's bound to say too much. We all know he babbles when he tries to multitask like that."

"I know Kurt does but Matt's not going to do it." Mike shook his head. "Finn's tried this and I know he would have told you that."

"Finn? I love the boy but subtle he isn't. Trust me. He knows how dumb it was to bring it up during a football game of all things. Fool boy." Mercedes shook her head. "I should have never listened to him."

"Probably not but Cedes I can't ask Matt to talk to Kurt about this. I know we all hate it and think it's going to end in disaster but he really is trying to make things work with Geoffrey. And if he's bringing him around here? And us?" Mike shrugged his shoulders. "We might need t o seriously consider retiring the nickname Kurt 2.0 if we want Matt to still come around."

"And I'm telling you there is something going on with my boy. And I don't care about stepping on Geoffrey's feelings. If I think Matt can help, then that's who I'm going to get involved. "


	16. Chapter 16

Someday, somewhere, _someone_ was going to figure out a way to tell Mercedes Jones no and meant it. Just logically it had to happen. She couldn't possibly get her way all the time. Matt was sure the history books were just full of dictators and fascists who started out as supremely bossy friends who refused to take no for an answer. Not that he was going to let Mercedes in on that _particular_ observation. She hit hard. And he bruised easily.

But until that far off, likely mythical day happened; reality was everyone who was considered a friend of Mercedes was probably going to end up doing something they knew in the long run they were likely to regret. And there just wasn't any real way for this to end well for him. There just wasn't. Either he was going to piss of Geoffrey and just annoy Kurt or he was going to piss them both off. No matter which way it turned out, there was going to be some serious apologizing in his immediate future. It was only a question of how much and to whom.

She had cornered him in the kitchen. Matt mentally kicked himself for leaving the safety of standing with Quinn and Geoffrey. Obviously she had been laying in wait to catch him alone. Should have realized that once he noticed her looking at him roughly every five seconds. At first Matt thought he had somehow worn two different shoes, but then he realized Geoffrey wouldn't have let him set foot out of the Changs's if that was the case.

"_I'm not asking you to make out with him in front of everyone." Mercedes had rolled her eyes as she put her hands on her hips. "Although you two should do that and quit it with the soap opera antics. Just a conversation with him. See if you notice anything off."_

"_Mercedes we haven't talked since this summer. I'm sure at lots changed since then!"_

"_I'm not talking about his new love of blue nail polish." Mercedes scoffed. "He's still Kurt. And you still know him best of anyone. If you say we're being crazy, then we're being crazy. It's not as difficult as you're making this Tall, Dark and Silent. I'll make sure your little clone" She barely batted an eye as he glared at her casual use of the dreaded nickname, "is all happy and looked after. After all who doesn't love me?"_

"_Right now? Me."_

"_You worship at my feet and you know it." She had shoved him hard back towards the living room, where he could clearly see Kurt starting to move to the small dining room off to the side. "Now go. See? The fates want you to talk to him."_

The fates or two very opinionated and bossy best friends. Matt knew Mercedes thought he hadn't noticed Mike talking to Kurt not even three seconds before she shoved him in his ex's direction but he had. When he got back to school he was going to seriously invest in finding a new best friend. Maybe Terry Parker. He seemed to be a good guy. Yes. When he got back to school Terry Parker was his new best friend and that was all there was to it.

Casting a glance over his shoulder, he accidentally locked eyes with Mercedes. She made a shoo motion with her hand, tilting her head to indicate the dining room where Kurt had disappeared to. With a sigh, Matt figured giving in was probably the smarter decision here. If he avoided Mercede's oh so politely posed request, she would most likely force a meeting in some place more potentially embarrassing. Such as the bathroom. He put nothing past her.

He found Kurt easily enough, fussing over some concoction no one knew what all was in it, but knew enough that it was delicious. "So, when did you start cooking?" Matt asked awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

Kurt jumped a little as Matt's voice first started. "You scared me. I didn't know you were there. We've talked about not going back to that silent routine. You'll give someone a heart attack one day you know."

"Yeah sorry." Matt looked down at his shoes (yes! Same shoe on each foot!) before looking up with a smile. "I didn't want you to run off once you realized it was me."

"I wouldn't have done that."

"Sure. That's why this is the first thing you've said to me since hello."

"Well I didn't exactly want to cause waves. The whole former flame-current flame drama is way better in movies than reality right?"

"While I agree with the theory, he did know we were coming over to your house. He was completely prepared to be friendly."

Kurt tilted his head to the side and fixed his best "who are you trying to kid here" stare on Matt.

"Civil?" Matt offered. "Not openly hostile?"

"That's closer to the truth." Kurt nodded. "And for the record I will be nothing but perfectly civil. The rules of Martha Steward demand nothing less for guests in my home."

"Well I figured Martha would prevail." Matt joked before grabbing a hunk of bread laying out by the bowl Kurt was currently fussing with. "If I know what's in this, will I still want to eat it?"

"Considering some of the other garbage you pass off as food? Most likely not. Just think of it as cheese. Very sophisticated cheese."

"Works for me." Matt nodded before dipping his bread into what he decided to refer to as a dip. Taking a satisfying bite, Matt shook his head. "This is one damn good sophisticated cheese."

"Thank you." Kurt practically beamed with pleasure. "I wasn't sure it would turn out quite the way I wanted since I changed some of the ingredients around but so far everyone seems to like it."

"I think it might be closer to love. What I heard Puck talking about doing with this…." Matt shook his head before grinning. "Let's just leave it at Puck's imagination shall we?"

"Yes. Please. "Kurt looked as if he was going to get sick if this particular conversation kept going any further.

"You're not having any?" Matt questioned as Kurt took a step away from the table.

"Oh no. Far too fattening. Just a taste and it all goes right to my hips. I just make it. Don't eat it."

"Any of it?" Matt looked over the spread of food on the table. He knew from Finn Kurt had spent much of Thanksgiving morning making most of the food he currently saw. Carole had just heated and baked to her stepson's very precise instructions. It really was a ridiculous amount of food but Matt knew between all twelve of them, it would probably be gone by the end of the night. Still now that he thought of it, he hadn't seen Kurt with a plate of food all night.

"I just like to cook. I consider it a test of my will power."Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "But we need to discuss something important. This Joel person with Quinn. He seems hopelessly too conservative for our girl."

"He seemed nice. A little boring but nice."

"A _little_ boring? He's wearing Dockers! _DOCKERS_ Matthew! Quinn deserves better than someone who's given up and accepted Dockers as a way of life in college!"

Matt chuckled as he took in Kurt's frame, taught with the indignation of bad fashion, his hands planted firmly on his hips. Hips that now that he looked at them, did seem to stick out a little further than normal. Ok there was a very dangerous road to start down, but he was driving it. Did those wrists always looks so fragile?

"Plus it's clear Quinn has told him nothing about Puck and what all happened there. He seriously looks concerned when Puck talks to her. Anyone she can't tell that story too isn't good enough for her."

"She just started dating him" Matt protested, his eye still tracing over Kurt's body, trying to reconcile what he was seeing with what he remembered.

"Everyone knows when you bring someone home around the holidays you're serious. You brought Geoffrey right?"

"Right. Geoffrey." Matt nodded, feeling shame flood him as he realized he had not even thought about his boyfriend of nearly a year as he stood there obsessing over changes in his ex.

"Right." Kurt straightened his shoulders. "So either the rejected prep wardrobe from a John Hughes film goes or he does. I have a feeling it will be him."

As he watched Kurt stalk out of the room, Matt tried to tell himself he had just imagined the changes. Anything he had seen was just exaggerated because of not seeing Kurt since May. A lot changed in six months after all.

Except he couldn't quite convince himself of that. More than anything he felt the sinking sensation that Mercedes and Finn were right. Something was going on. And that something wasn't good.


	17. Chapter 17

**Ok so this is not going to become a HUGE! OVERWHELMING! ANGST! of the story...it was never intended to be...but to be fair...it will be here...and going on...and it may be triggery for some people. And as i've never had this issue myself...my research is all internet based so if it's totally off I apologize and blame the web. =) We cool?**

"I don't mean to question the almighty and sacred system, but this exam doesn't actually need extensive research right?" Terry Parker shook his head, causing his dreadlocks to swing. "It's the True/False questions in the back of the book right?"

Blinking his eyes to keep his eyes from swimming as they scanned over the information once more, Matt barely looked up at his friend. "What are you talking about?"

"This is the night you designated for us to study for the Human Sexuality final or did I mix up the master plan again?" Terry tapped his finger on the datebook Matt was almost notorious for carrying with him at all times. He was only slightly teasing his friend about master plans and sacred system. Truth was his grades had probably improved since he started studying with Matt. Which his parents would definitely think of as a good thing. He totally understood, as much as he could, his friend's need to organize every part of his life. The idea of having to put himself through college at any age, much less right now, was something Terry could only marvel at.

So while he understood and had even come to accept his friend's need to schedule every second of his day, what he didn't understand was why Matt was clearly not following the much discussed and agreed upon schedule. At one point Terry had sworn to his new girlfriend Matt was going to make him sign a blood contract when they talked about studying together. Yet for the past hour, Terry got the impression Matt wasn't even aware finals were this week. "No one studies that hard for a True/False test when we have the questions ahead of time. Even when we don't cause it's true/false. Not even you. What are you doing?"

"Research?"

"On what? World peace? Bro you are finished with all your tough exams. I know the schedule. All you have left are your cakewalks." Terry wasn't sure who exactly up there liked his friend, but clearly someone did. While he still had that monster statistics final on Friday looming over him like a Death Eater, he knew all Matt had left was this presumably easy Human Sexuality and to turn in a paper for his Lit class. He had initially assumed Matt's intense focus on his laptop was refining his paper, but now that his finals addled brain had a second to think about it, Matt had finished that paper the other night. Standing up, Terry made his way across the table.

"Eating disorders?" He asked before Matt managed to close the screen. "You're researching eating disorders? Dude none of our classes covered that this semester."

"I wanted to get a jump on next semester."

"Do me a favor. Never ever go to Vegas. You are a terrible liar. You fidget entirely too much. Gives you away every time."

"Great." Matt rolled his eyes as Terry moved to sit back down. "Next you'll tell me I do a weird hand shaking thing."

"Well yeah but I figured you already knew about that." Terry shrugged. "You want to tell me the truth?"

"I was just doing research. For my own knowledge."

"I know you're doing that mentoring thing at the center. Is it for one of your kids?"

"No. I just wanted learn some things."

"See most people don't take a wild hair to just learn about eating disorders." Terry argued. "There's generally some reason, like a class. Which I know you didn't have this semester. Or someone they know may…"

His voice trailed off as a possible reason came to mind. A person only had to know Matt a little bit to know liking Matt meant liking his sister. They were a package deal. Not that liking Leah was hard. It was pretty easy actually. She pretty much bowled a person over with her awesomeness. However it was also hard to not notice that for all his devotion to his sister, neither Matt nor Leah mentioned their parents often and Terry knew both were putting themselves through college. If Matt suspected something was going on with Leah, he would be researching till doomsday to figure out the best way to help his sister.

"Matt is everything alright with Leah?"

"Leah? Leah's fine. I'm researching this about Leah."

"Then why are you researching this? I know it's not just cause. You look too freaked out by whatever it is you read. Talk to me. Maybe I can help."

"Help how?"

Terry shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Listen to you at least? So far all the classes have said that's important in crisis situations right? And you've met Clara right? My girlfriend? She's a nursing major. She might know a professor or someone who could give you more research or names or something."

Matt smiled softly. "I don't want bother you. You have that statistics exam and I know that's been freaking you out. I can handle this."

"Number one if it would bother me, I wouldn't offer. Number two, you forget I've resigned myself to fact I'm failing that exam and there is nothing I can do about it. So really helping you will be distracting me from my fate living on the street and selling pencils."

"Selling pencils? I thought you were going to marry a rich woman and live off her inheritance."

"Well selling pencils is how I'll meet her. It's all part of the plan." Terry stated with mock seriousness. "Now come on. Tell Dr. Terry everything."

"Yeah that sounds creepy. Never say it again."

"Tell me or I'm getting business cards printed with Dr. Terry on it."

"It's….it's just…" Matt took a deep breath before leaning his arms on the table. "When I went home over Thanksgiving, a couple of my friends kept insisting something was wrong with my ex. And I tried to tell myself all weekend that the changes I noticed were because I haven't seen him since May…"

"But now you're thinking eating disorder." Terry nodded his head. Well that certainly made sense. He clearly hadn't met Kurt but he had heard about him a few times since he met Matt the second week of Psych 102 last semester. Clearly he had heard Matt explain how he and his ex actually were just friends now. He had met Geoffrey and they had double dated with him and Clara a couple of times in the past few weeks. But he also hadn't missed the fact Matt was clearly still close to his friends back home and would do anything for them. And apparently that included the ex, Kurt. "Tell me what you saw. I can be objective because I'm going to bet you are thinking you're too close to him to be a fair judge."

"Am I really that transparent?"

"You heard Dr. Osborne. You develop the mask with time. Just tell me what you saw."

"He looked skinnier. Which he's been saying since summer apparently he's trying to lose the freshman fifteen so I expected that. But he's always loved dressing in layers so I can't tell for sure."

"But he has admitted to dieting so I think you're probably making a rational assumption."

"And then it was more of what I didn't see. I don't remember seeing him eat anything. But he's taken up cooking lately so he's around food a lot. So I don't know what to make of that one. But these characteristics of people with eating disorders I was just reading? "Matt twisted the laptop towards Terry. "They might as well put his picture up next to them. Most common in gay men. Tendency towards perfectionism. Involvement in an activity that has social pressures to remain thin. Perseverance. Low self esteem."

Terry quirked an eyebrow upwards as he pulled the laptop towards him, scanning through the word Matt had been studying earlier. "You're trying to tell me the guy who dressed like Lady Gaga during school and let you take a picture of him in that get up has low self esteem?"

"He hides it well. Would you be the poster child of self esteem if you were thrown in the dumpster every day since about seventh grade? Not to mention the names since, oh probably he started school?"

"Ok, good point there." Terry acknowledged. "Alright from you've described I think it seems likely there's something eating disorder related going on. But if you can't tell if he's lost a lot of weight, then you all might have noticed this early. And it says here the earlier the treatment the better. If it's early, he could avoid staying in the hospital."

"Yeah that's what I was afraid you were going to say."

Terry chuckled at the look on his friend's face. "Geoffrey's going to hate what you're going to do isn't he?"

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"Cause you weren't really confused on if he has an eating disorder. You were if you were going to go talk to him about it."

"Apparently I really do need to _never _to go Vegas."

"Yes. Just throw a couple hundred dollars out of the window and it will be like you're there. "Terry nodded. "You're going to go see him aren't you?"

"I think so."

"Well before you do, help me pass the stats exam. You're going to need me when Geoffrey kills you for this and I can't help if I'm selling pencils on the sidewalk."

"You're not going to tell me it's a bad idea?"

"Oh no going to see your ex is always a bad idea. That goes without saying. But you two are friends and I know you'll do anything to help a friend. So it doesn't matter that it's probably a terrible idea, you're going to do it anyway. I'm not going to waste my breath. However I happen to be an expert at apologies for following a stupid idea. And you're heart's clearly in the right place. So I'll help you plan the epic apology you'll owe your actual boyfriend so he'll forgive your dumbass."

"Someday, advice like that is going to cause a patient to sue Dr. Terry for malpractice."

"Everyone has a dream Matt. Everyone has a dream."


	18. Chapter 18

"So what?" Geoffrey stood in the doorway, crossing his arms as he took in the unusually destroyed state of Matt's bedroom. Matt wasn't an obsessively neat person by nature, but a regimented schedule had caused him to at least be organized in his messiness. It was just much simpler if, for example, when he kicked off his shoes instead of putting them in the closet, he always kicked them off in the same spot. And right now, nothing was where it was supposed to be. His old McKinley football bag sat open in the center of his bed, clothing strewn around it. Looking up, Matt couldn't help but wince a little at the stare Geoffrey was giving him through narrowed eyes. "Was I going to be told you were leaving town by text? An email? I mean heaven forbid you actually tell me."

"I was going to tell you." Matt protested, holding his hands up. "But you were busy with finals and this was a last minute decision."

"Oh at least come up with a better lie than _that._ You don't just make last minute travel decisions. Especially after finals and even more so when you can pick up mass hours at Sheet-N-Things." Geoffrey countered as he stalked into the room. "Sasha called by the way. She said she can cover your shift on Sunday and you can have her shift next Saturday. Correct me if I'm wrong but you were already scheduled to work that day, right?"

He had so already screwed this up and Geoffrey didn't even know yet where he was going and who he was going to see. Terry better be as great at apologizing as he claimed to be, because Matt was seeing some serious groveling in his near future. "Yeah, she needed the time off to go to a family wedding so I said I would help her out."

"So you, who have gone into work with the flu, gave up your own shift to work a double, during the Christmas season when the store is open from eight in the morning till midnight, to help a girl you complain about every time you are scheduled with her?" If Geoffrey's eyebrow could completely arch off his head, it probably would have.

"I can explain all this. I was going to explain all this. This really did just come together at the last minute."

"Right now, I'm not all that interested in what you were going to do Matt. I'm far more interested in what you are doing and why you felt the need to cut me out so completely."

Matt took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He could do this. Saying Geoffrey wouldn't be _thrilled _was likely the understatement of the year but Geoffrey was well aware that he was loyal to his friends. And Kurt was a friend. A friend that happened to be an ex but still a friend. It was just the facts. He could do this. He was a mature man who would 19 in a few short weeks. This is the kind of thing grownups did all the time. Or at least that was what Leah would say and what he'll blame if it all goes terribly wrong.

"One of my friends is in trouble. Potentially serious trouble. And I know you won't like it, but I'm going to try to help."

"And why would you think I wouldn't understand that?" Geoffrey perched himself on the edge of the bed. "Just because I can identify a Kate Spade knock off at one hundred feet doesn't mean I don't appreciate friendships. Or understand the desire to help them."

"I'm glad you understand. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but it really did just come up last minute."

"Well now it makes sense. Crisis, whether fashion or otherwise, rarely have the courtesy to schedule themselves properly. And go with the brown sweater you got last week. It makes you look very psychological."

"That's not even a characteristic."

"Yes it is. Trust me, the word will catch on."

"Yeah, in your dreams it will."

"So, what trouble has Mike found himself in? Tell me details."

"Mike?" Matt asked weakly.

"Well yes, not that you don't love the rest of that little group of yours but you have a personal hierarchy. I can't imagine you would drop everything for Puck. I would say the top three you would drop everything for without so much as a phone call from the rest of the gang is Leah, Mike and…" Geoffrey sucked in a breath. "Oh. Ohhhhhh. That's why. That's why you were going to call me, most likely when you were halfway there. It's _him_. Isn't it? You're going to help Kurt."

"He needs help."

"Then let Mercedes or Finn help him. Finn is his family and Mercedes is his best friend. You are the ex. What about this picture is hard for you to understand?"

"He's been getting around Mercedes for weeks now. Finn would just freak out and likely misunderstand what I was telling him. I know you hate it, but I am also the person who lives the closest to him right now."

"Puck is actually closer."

"Yeah, sending Puck in to help is a really bad idea. For everyone concerned. I have to do this."

"No you want to do this and you've just convinced yourself that you have to. There is a difference Matt." Geoffrey began to pace the length of the bedroom. "What? What exactly is it that you're so convinced you're the only one who could possibly help?"

"An eating disorder" Matt admitted softly. "I don't think he's eating and the quicker he gets help, the better it will be. For everyone."

"An eating disorder? It's at least original." Geoffrey held up his hand. "I'm not saying you're wrong. In fact I'll bet you're completely correct. But I also think you've been looking for a reason to go see him. And if it wasn't this, you'd have found some other reason to go sooner or later."

"That's not true. I'm with you. Kurt just needs help. That's all this is about. Helping a friend."

"A friend that everyone in your social circle seems to think you aren't over. And you were seriously considering letting me think you were going to help Mike before I realized the truth. You were going to call me from the road I understand, probably with the friend story, hoping I wouldn't find out the truth form Leah." Geoffrey began to nod his head and walk towards the door. "Yeah that seems about right."

"Don't leave like this. Let's talk about this."

"No. I don't want to talk about this. You put helping your ex before you even thought about telling me. I think that's all the talking I really need to hear. So go. Help Kurt. It's fine. I get it completely. Understand it perfectly now. There's just one thing. Small really to you but it's important to me. You and I? We're done. I'm not going to compete with a damn ghost anymore. So help to your heart's content. And don't worry about coming back to me. Cause I plan on not seeing you again, for a long long time."


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes...I have a few. One - the pink house does exist. My sister rented it her senior year. Two - If I can make Matt gay...I'm keeping Karofsky straight. Period. end of story. **

It had been known as "the pink house" for years. Kurt hated the name, namely because the colorful siding had far too much blue in it's base to actually be pink. Chartreuse maybe. He might even be persuaded to describe it as a dark lilac chrome color. But pink? It was decidedly not pink. Unfortunately, since it appeared an entire generation called it "the pink house" and it was even a local landmark for directions ("First street on the left after the pink house." "Three houses down from the pink house." "The street after the street with the pink house."), it seemed highly unlike anyone would subscribe to his campaign to call the house anything else. But Kurt was going to continue, if for no other reason than to stop the million of jokes Santana had started sending him every single day once she found out three gay guys were living in a pink house. Or at least get her to stop reposting that video Mr. Schue took of his misinformed decision to sing Mellencamp _that one time_.

He had argued to the bitter end about renting this particular house. The color for one thing, while distinctive was also garish and tacky. And while the landlord had kept the house in reasonable shape and updated it as much as he could, the bottom line it was an older house and it had been rented to college students for years. It had probably been considered an off campus party house for more than one frat house over the years. There was simply some damage that could not be undone. Kurt was relatively certain the stain behind the stove was older than he was. But in the end, he had been outvoted by Stephen and Rafe. And in his most secret heart of hearts, he had come around to loving the house. But he wasn't about to tell them that. There would be no living with them.

He sighed as he once again checked the recipe for pumpkin gingerbread he had downloaded. It wasn't especially complicated (neither was the simple icing he was making to drizzle on top of it) but it looked more complicated than the expected bag of Oreos he was sure other guests to Austin's end of finals/holiday party were bringing. He may not eat many of the creations he made, but that didn't mean he didn't want his contribution to fade into obscurity.

Cooking had become a necessity after moving out of the dorms. Stephen had barely graduated past not burning the soup on his illegal hotplate in the dorm. Rafe would be quite happy to live on nothing but McDonalds if given half a chance. If he wanted some actual nutrition while he was living them, it was learn to cook or starve. And at the time, starving seemed like a very bad idea.

Not that he was starving now. He ate, despite what Finn and Mercedes seemed to believe. Just because he had cut out all the unnecessary refined sugars and empty calories didn't mean he had forsaken food completely. He was just highly selective about what he put into his body, plus he really wasn't all that hungry during the day. He tended to get hungry later at night, especially when he had to pull an all nighter to complete a piece for class the next day. People just didn't _see_ him eat. That was all.

Now if only he could convince Mercedes and Finn of that fact. Ever since Thanksgiving, they had been on an obsessive quest to prove there was something wrong with him, when nothing was. He suspected the only reason he got a respite from their constant questions and phone calls (_"Oh I'm sorry. Did I interrupt you eating or anything?")_ this week was because finals seemed to fall on everyone at the same time. Kurt had no doubt it would start right back up next week and get worse when he finally made it home for Christmas. There were more than a few nights he had been awakened by a nightmare involving Finn, a feeding tube and truly unappetizing liquid diet.

In his heart of hearts, Kurt knew they were only looking out for him and there was a part of him that appreciated it. It was better this year, but he'd be lying if he said the utter anonymity of college wasn't both a blessing and a curse. He really hadn't realized how much he relied on seeing the same faces, even those of Azmio and Karofsky, every year just to make school seem familiar. While he wasn't exactly missing being tossed into the dumpster nearly every day, he did miss the friends and sympathetic looks that would greet him when he managed to get himself out.

He wasn't homesick. Sophomores did not get homesick. It was just, stress longing. Yes that was it. Stress longing brought about due to finals, a competitive major, and a way too recent trip home. That was all it was.

"Oh. Dear. God." Stephen moaned as he entered their cramped but spotless kitchen. "If that tastes anywhere near as good as it smells, I am so going to steal you from Austin in five seconds."

"I made a second one for the house." Kurt rolled his eyes as he checked the oven. "And you aren't my type remember?"

"Oh that's right." Stephen snapped his fingers. "Could you possibly reconsider? I have excellent taste and make a great shopping partner."

"Tempting but I already have several friends who fill that spot. Also you have terrible cleaning habits. I don't think your bed's been made all week."

"Picky perfectionist."

"Having standards hasn't failed me yet."

"Standards are over-rated." Rafe declared as he lumbered in from the living room where he had fallen asleep on the couch. "All they lead to is sleeping alone."

"So speakith the man skank." Stephen nodded sagely.

"And when was the last time you went out?" Rafe cocked his head to the side. "Kurt's at least with Austin so I'm assuming they are using the practice rooms for more than just piano lessons."

"One, none of your business and two, keep up the terrible advice and no pumpkin gingerbread for you."

"It's not terrible but out of love for your cooking I'll shut up." Rafe promised. "How is it Austin lets you out of his sight again?"

"I know this is a difficult concept for you to grasp, but when you are in a committed relationship there's this thing called trust. Meaning basically Austin knows I just live with you. I'm not actually like you."

Hearing the door bell peel, Stephen sighed as he stood up. "I'll get it. It's probably the plumber the landlord promised to send to look at the shower."

"It's broken again?" Kurt groaned after Stephen's retreating back, twisting to drop his dirty prep bowls into the sink. That would put a serious crimp in his pre-party preparation routine. It would set him back at least an hour and a half if not more if he had to share space with his friends in the tiny half bathroom on the first floor.

"Yeah it is but it's not the plumber." Stephen said with a smile in his voice as he came back towards the kitchen. "I think we could say it's for you Kurt."

"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked as he turned from the sink. The towel he was drying his hands on fell to the kitchen floor as he saw Matt standing there, looking sheepishly at the ground. He was going to ignore the amused, clearly interested glances Stephen and Rafe exchanged. Obviously they recognized Matt from his Facebook pictures.

"Oh this night just got better than HBO." Rafe whispered.

"Matt." Kurt managed to get past his lips. So this is what Matt felt like when Mike sprang his little ambush. A strange combination of dying, curiosity and panic all rolled into one.

"Kurt. I think we need to talk."


	20. Chapter 20

**So I love you all...I do...and yes I also love being evil. I just want to let you all know before you raise up pitchforks and sing "The Mob Song" from Beauty and the Beast before storming the castle (ha..like I live in a castle!) to kill me...I do have this story planned out through senior year and college graduation. So if you kill me, it won't happen. Just keep that in mind. =)**

At some point in his life, Matt really needed to remember that being spontaneous never worked out for him. He was a planner by nature; an obsessive planner if Leah was to be believed. He liked to know where he was going, what he was going to do and what he would be doing next week at the same time. It was a necessity and a comfort. Being a planner was pretty much essential to him surviving putting himself through college. Planning meant he knew what to expect. Planning meant he could largely avoid completely awkward moments.

Moments like he was having right now as he struggled to answer Kurt's deceptively simple question of what he was doing, standing in the middle of his living room. Because, as he was rapidly discovering, there really wasn't a good explanation that didn't make him sound completely deranged or risk Kurt going into even further denial. Why didn't he listen to that voice in his head that said he should call Mercedes and Finn and arrange for all three of them to come up? _That_ would have made sense. _Then_ he could have come up with a perfectly rational explanation of why he was standing in Bowling Green instead of his own apartment in Columbus.

Somehow Matt figured saying something along the lines of _"I think everyone is right and you have an eating disorder so I came up here to convince you of that fact"_ probably would not go over well at all. So instead he opted for the lame and not at all convincing sounding, tried and true excuse of "I was just in the neighborhood."

"Just in the neighborhood?" Kurt repeated skeptically. "I know we haven't seen each other in a while but I can still tell when you're lying. "

"Should never go to Vegas huh?"

"I wouldn't say that. Just don't go with people who know you. We can tell. Strangers probably have a fifty-fifty chance."

"Well as long as it's fifty-fifty." Matt shrugged his shoulders with a smile. He could do this. He could totally do this.

"Matt, it's great if a bit surprising to see you but it's not like you to just show up. Everything is ok with Leah right?"

Ok he lied. He really couldn't do this. Not with Kurt looking at him so concerned that something might be wrong with Leah. And Kurt didn't look any skinnier did he? He hadn't lost anymore weight. Had he? "Leah's fine. Everyone's fine. "Matt sighed helplessly. "As for why I'm here, it's kind of a long story and I'm pretty positive you're going to hate it."

"I told you." A barely concealed whisper sounded from the other side of the wall. "He's marrying that boyfriend and he came to tell Kurt in person."

"Stephen, your lack of a love life has caused you to kill off brain cells. Tell me you don't sound this stupid when I take you to the bars. I have a reputation to maintain."

"Oh dear Gaga." Kurt growled, his hand held to his forehead. "Would you two leave?"

"Oh come on!" The one Matt recognized as Stephen came towards the entrance way. "This is the best thing to happen since Zach came back from the dead to stop Kendall's wedding on _All My Children_."

"Please." Kurt protested as he rolled his eyes in exasperation. "He's not getting married." He paused for a second as if seriously considering the idea for the first time. Tilting his head to the left, he looked at Matt with serious intent. "You aren't right?"

"Uh yeah, no marriage in the immediate plans." Especially he was just dumped a few hours ago but it didn't seem just the right time to bring that particular new item up. "Didn't come here to talk about that."

"Good. See?" Kurt turned back to his roommates. "Get your soap fix somewhere else."

"Fine. We can take a hint." Rafe threw up his hands.

"Since when can you take a hint?" Stephen questioned.

"We're going." Raph pulled a still protesting Stephen towards the door. "However we will work on those excuses for you if you decide you just happen to miss the party tonight."

"I'm sorry for them." Kurt sighed as they heard the door click behind Stephen and Raph, still arguing as they made their way down the porch steps. "It's been a long time since either one of them has been out with someone and they are trying to pretend they aren't into each other. I'm just going to lock them in a room at some point."

"Yeah I hear that's a good solution to that problem." Matt looked at his feet, but not before he caught Kurt's violent blush as they both remembered exactly how they got over that _particular_ hurdle.

"So why did you come here Matt?" Kurt took a cautious step towards the middle of the room where he currently stood rooted in place. "It's not like you to just take off and not go to work."

"I know but this is important." Matt admitted softly.

"It's important and I'm not going to like it." Kurt mused. "You know the last time you said those phrases, we ended up breaking up."

"And that discussion was both important and you didn't like it." Matt pointed out. "I didn't lie."

"No but you _are_ increasing my curiosity tenfold at the moment. You're not getting married, thank Gaga. Nothing against Geoffrey." Kurt hastened to add. "Just you are way too young for that step. And we broke up so it's not that conversation again."

"No but it does involve you."

"You never could resist being a man of mystery could you Matt?" Kurt smiled. "Are you going to make me continue to play twenty questions or are you ever going to tell me what exactly compelled you to come all this way for something that involves me?"

Well never let it be said the universe didn't hand him golden opportunities on a platter, Matt mused silently. Roughly half of his drive up here had been spent trying to come up with the perfect opportunity to bring up what he thought was going on, and rejecting most of them as they seemed way too much like a date. And here Kurt went and gave him the perfect opportunity, and with no one nearby to interrupt him. Taking a deep breath, Matt steeled himself. He could do this. He had to do this. Kurt needed him to do this.

"See the thing is Kurt, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I've noticed some things."

"You always notice things." Kurt pointed out. "It's why you'll make an excellent psychologist one of these days."

"Yeah. That's actually kind of related to why I'm here in fact. It's really kind of weird that you mention that. See…."

"Kurt? You here?" An unfamiliar voice carried into the house, followed by a form Matt recognized immediately from pictures. Austin Brooks strode inside with the confidence that only came when a person was perfectly confident of their welcome. Matt tried to be objective about the other man, taking in the pressing pink button up shirt and well tailored black pants. He certainly fit the look of someone Matt could see Kurt with; in fact maybe Austin fit it a little too perfectly. Austin stopped as he came into the living room, an expression on his face that clearly indicated he was trying to figure out where he had seen Matt before. "Oh I didn't realize you had company."

"It was a surprise." Kurt offered with a laugh that Matt was certain everyone in the room recognized as an indication of nerves. "Austin, this is Matt Rutherford. He just showed up a little while ago. Matt, this is Austin. You've heard me mention him before."

"Yeah I sure have." Matt nodded, trying to keep a smile in firmly in place as he offered out his hand for Austin to shake. "Nice to meet you finally."

"Same here." Austin answered; a smile similar to the one Matt was sure was plastered on his own gracing the other man's face. "You just decided to surprise Kurt?"

"Something like that." Matt hedged. Ok now was totally not the time to bring up the whole eating disorder thing. "But it looks like you two have plans and I clearly interrupted that. I should just go and find a place to crash for the night. "He caught Kurt's eyes. "We can talk later."

"Austin's throwing a small party. We can talk there if you want." Kurt offered. "You don't need to leave. Or find a place to crash. You can stay here. Stephen and Raph won't mind."

"I don't want to be any trouble." Or start the same fight Geoffrey and I would have all the time between you and Austin, Matt added silently.

"It's no trouble."

"Yeah dude." Raph's voice carried over from the hallway. How long had he and Stephen been standing there Matt wondered. Clearly they hadn't left as Kurt had demanded. "Stay here. Come party with us. It will be fun."

Somehow Matt was relatively certain it would be way more fun for Raph and Stephen than it would for him. Still he kind of didn't have a choice. Once again being spontaneous had bitten him in the ass. "Sure. I'll stay."


	21. Chapter 21

The key to a good train wreck, Stephen decided, was to make sure it wasn't happening to you. If he had been the one to have an ex surprise him out of the blue and then rather stupidly invited said ex to a party his current boyfriend was throwing, he would have been in a corner praying for death. But since it was Kurt caught in this hilariously awkward situation, he was enjoying this for all it was worth. He was probably going to bad friend hell, but really, he would have to be a saint to not find this endlessly entertaining.

He so hoped Raph had in fact found a video camera because if they got this stuff to Bravo or Oxygen? Instant hit show and they were going to be millionaires.

"How does Austin not have a video camera?" Raph complained as he slid back next to him. "I thought music majors were all about watching themselves perform."

"Yeah remember he's the one that doesn't like the spotlight? Stupid freak of nature."

"So what did I miss? Anything good?"

"Dude this is the best thing to happen since they cancelled SoapNet and Brian Frons got fired. Austin keeps looking at Matt and trying not to death glare him. Which he's totally failing at by the way."

"Of course he is. He's a music major. Not a theater major."

"Details. " Stephen waved off Raph's point. "And Matt keeps looking like he's going to go and say something to Kurt but he keeps stopping himself. Mainly because it seems Austin has developed a sixth sense when Matt's about to do what he mysteriously drove up here to do and magically appears by Kurt's side every time Matt takes a step. "

"Damn it and we don't have popcorn." Raph swore. "Alright more important discussion. Why do we think Matt showed up? He shot down the marriage idea."

"I have no idea. But it's clearly about Kurt since he's not taken his eyes off of him since we got here. "

"Ok that means Austin's sixth sense is just him paying attention you twit."

"Do you have any ideas oh wise one?"

"Well as the person in this room with most experience in what I believe you would call a love triangle…"

"Been meaning to tell you, not something people brag about."

Raph continued, ignoring Stephen entirely. "I don't think the actual reason Matt's here is all that important. The more important fact is he came all this way, when probably he could have sent someone else. I'm thinking someone's realized their feelings aren't as dead as they claim they are."

Stephen turned his head to catch Raph's eyes. "And our clueless roommate has no clue what's about to happen."

"Nope." Raph confirmed. "He still stuck at seeing you lead Matt into the kitchen. He's on total autopilot right now. "

"So what do you think the odds are of a big confrontation happening right here, right now?"

Raph shook his head. "This is just the buildup. Austin is way too quiet a guy to pick a fight in the middle of a crowd. And if we didn't overhear him talking to Kurt, I would doubt Matt could speak. No if anything happens it will be later. And they'll attempt to do it in private."

"I hope they realize that includes us."

"If they don't, they will."

"Ok since you kind of brought it up, I have to ask you." Stephen gestured between Matt and Austin. "I'm not the only one thinking Kurt has a ridiculously specific type am I?"

"No. I'm starting to realize why all those blind dates we set him up on last year didn't work."

"So clearly the order of things to do when we get home is first, figure out why Matt came up here in the first place. And after that, we're having a long talk with the star of this little drama."

"That is the smartest thing you've said in months."

* * *

With a heavy sigh, Kurt leaned against the front door of his house. It had taken a good hour and an a half to convince Austin nothing was going to happen just because Matt was going to crash on his couch. And the fact Matt spent most of the party starring at him was just because Matt didn't know anyone there and was shy. That's all it meant.

He'd probably have a slightly better time convincing himself of those arguments if he had a single clue why Matt had shown up in the first place. He denied it was about Leah. He denied he was going to run off to Canada to marry Geoffrey. The New Directions phone tree hadn't been activated so it wasn't anything related to any of their other high school friends. If there was something going on with Dad, Carole or JoBeth, Finn would have shown up long before Matt. To put it simply, Kurt was absolutely baffled.

The easiest way to solve the mystery, of course, was to just walk into the living room (after making sure Stephen and Raph weren't sitting on the landing of the steps like he knew they were going to try) and just ask Matt for the truth. Matt had already admitted it involved him and he was likely to not like it. It had to be better than the endless guessing games he had been playing with himself all night.

Squaring his shoulders, Kurt decided he could do this. He could walk into the living room and find out exactly what had drove Matt to act so completely unlike himself. And the sooner he did it, the better it would be for everyone concerned. Shooting a quick look at the steps to make sure his nosy roommates had in fact gone upstairs; he walked into the living room.

Matt sat on the couch, going through his disgusting old football bag but he looked up when Kurt entered the room. "I didn't cause you two to fight did I?"

"It wasn't a fight. Although Austin's not thrilled with this entire situation, he's trying to be supportive and trusting."

"This is a bad idea. Seriously Kurt I can find a hotel. We can talk in the morning." Matt stood up, grabbing his bag as he did. "I didn't come here to cause trouble for you."

"Sit down." Kurt put his hands up to stop him. "I don't know why you came here yet but I know you would never intentionally cause problems. And you're not finding a hotel. Winter graduation is in a week. They've been booked up around here for months. And I'm not letting you sleep in your car. So just sit down and forget that entire ridiculous idea about finding a hotel. It's not happening just like your insistence that plaid will make a comeback."

Matt smiled a little at their old joke. "One day plaid is going to be so in, even you won't be able to deny it anymore."

"And at that point I hope I'm senile and blind." Kurt retorted as he sat down at one end of the couch. He patted the cushion next to him. "Now sit down and tell me why you came up here."

"You're going to hate it." Matt pointed out as he sat back down.

"So you've mentioned. "

Matt took a deep breath and closed his eyes, staying silent for a long minute before opening them and looking at Kurt. "You may have at noticed at Thanksgiving that our friends seemed awfully insistent that we spend time together."

"And that's new how?" Kurt joked. "It's been the same thing since you came home from Spain."

"The reason this time was new."

"The reason?" Kurt questioned. "The reason…..oh don't tell me Mercedes and Finn told you their ridiculous theory that I have an eating disorder."

"They didn't use those exact words. But they were worried."

"And they dragged you right in the middle of their delusions. Matt I am so sorry. They forced you to come up here to talk with me about something that doesn't exist."

"It doesn't?" Matt asked softly.

"Of course it doesn't. " Kurt protested immediately. "Just because they didn't see me eat doesn't mean I don't eat. I eat."

"When? I saw you at the party. You didn't eat a single thing."

"That was empty calories and processed sugars. You know how I feel about those. And why are you questioning me about this?" Kurt sucked in a breath as the now obvious reason for Matt's visit slapped him in the face. "You….you believe Mercedes and Finn don't you? You think they're right."

"I don't know. But I think they are right to be concerned. What you're doing isn't healthy."

"You're all crazy. I'm not doing _anything_."

"Exactly! You aren't eating. Not that any of us can see."

"You all aren't with me twenty four hours a day."

"But when we are, we don't see it." Matt countered quickly. "And after spending all night with you at a party and seeing you not eating a single thing? You're damn right I'm concerned. I don't care if you hate it right now. I need to know you're ok. And right now I don't."

"So what? You're going to follow me for the next week? Write down every time every time I eat and what I eat?"

"Something like that." Matt shrugged. "Didn't exactly have a plan but that sounds like a start."


	22. Chapter 22

"You….said what?" The disbelief that filled Terry's voice confirmed for Matt yet again that his impulsive declaration a few minutes earlier to basically become Kurt's shadow was in fact, now officially the dumbest thing he had ever said. Finn's belief in being able to get someone pregnant in a hot tub without actually having sex was going to look like the work of a Noble Prize winner next to this.

He closed his eyes, running his hand over his hair. Staying inside the house seemed like a really bad idea right now. Kurt's plans never worked for him, but that had never stopped him from enacting one. And at this moment, Matt was fairly certain it was his death being planned upstairs. So he had huddled himself on the corner of the front porch. "I know. It sounded stupid after I said it."

"Oh no. It's not stupid. It's _incredibly_ stupid. It's moronic. It's so far beyond bad that even I can't help you grovel your way out of this one." Matt could see Terry shake his head with each word, his dreadlocks flying. "In fact, you're stupidity was so epic, all those places that gave you a scholarship? I'm called them and telling them you are far too stupid to actually deserve those."

"Are you actually going to try to be helpful at any point soon or are you just going to revel in my admitted stupidity all night?" Matt wondered as he shivered against the December wind. He wasn't even going to tell Terry he was basically considering sleeping in his car in December in Northern Ohio. His friend would probably fall over and die from the laughing that would cause.

"You know I want to help you, dude. You know that. But this is beyond my realm of expertise. And considering the epic amount of mistakes I've made in the name of love? That says a lot."

It was on the tip of his tongue to protest yet again that he and Kurt were just friends, but it probably wouldn't do any good right now. Instead Matt sighed. "So you're saying I'm on my own."

"No I wouldn't abandon you completely. I have to bring in the ringer Coach. Hold on a second."

"Bring in the ringer? What the hell does that mean?" Matt asked as he assumed Terry was passing off his cell phone. "Hello?"

"Hi Matt. It's Clara. I gather your plan didn't go so well?" Clara Foster, Terry's girlfriend, at least had the decency to not laugh at him. Sure she probably thought he was beyond stupid as well, but at least she had the class to let him pretend to have some dignity about this. He liked Clara way better than Terry.

"You say that like I actually had a plan. One of these days I'm going to learn. Don't be spontaneous." Matt shook his head, forgetting for a second that Clara couldn't see him. "Tell me the truth. I totally went about this the wrong way didn't I?"

"I know your heart's in the right place," she began hesitantly. "But you way overstepped the friend he hasn't seen in forever line. In fact I'd say you played a card only his boyfriend can play at this moment."

"And even though he said I didn't, I know I caused a fight between him and Austin just by showing up here so approaching Austin for help with this probably won't go well."

"How do you know you caused a fight?"

"Geoffrey had the same look on his face over Thanksgiving."

"Yeah." Clara sucked in a breath in what Matt hoped was sympathy. "I saw he changed his Facebook status. Are you ok?"

"I'll be fine. I just need to figure out a way out of this mess I created."

"Well I don't think you're actually going to like my idea, but I'm going to give it to you anyway. Talk to Austin. Not in the morning. Now. Go over to his place and tell him why you came up there. If there really is something to worry about, he's probably in the best position to tell you and Kurt will likely listen to him before you right now."

"No. I can't do that. That will only make it worse."

"No you have to do that because it's your only chance to make this better. Because Matt unless you are planning on transferring to BG, you can't be there twenty four hours a day. Eventually you do have to come home. You didn't actually think you would be able to solve something like this in a weekend did you?"

"No." Matt said softly, even though it was clear to him by his complete lack of planning he had apparently thought that ludicrous thought exactly.

"Then you were going to need to talk to this Austin person at some point anyway. And probably his roommates."

"I like it better when you're right. You don't laugh me nearly as much as Terry does."

"Oh I laugh at you. Just behind your back darling. My momma brought me up right."

* * *

It had taken him a minute to remember the way to Austin's apartment across town. But after only a few wrong turns and one stop at a late night gas station, he had finally found it. Now all he had to do was knock on the door and hope that Austin didn't own a gun. Although that was probably exactly what he deserved at this point.

When the other man opened the door, blinking his disbelief Matt really couldn't blame him. "Expecting someone else?" he joked weakly.

"You could say that." Austin leaned against the doorframe, essentially blocking Matt from taking one step in from the hallway.

"I came here to apologize to you." Matt began. This time he had taken the time to at least think of something appropriate to say. "I shouldn't have just shown up like I did. It wasn't fair to Kurt and it wasn't fair to you. I'm not here to cause any trouble between the two of you and I know I have. "

There was a long pause as Austin was clearly trying to decide how sincere Matt was being. "It might help your case here if you told me why you came here in the first place. And why you feel it's so important to show up here in the middle of the night."

"I'm worried about Kurt. Over Thanksgiving Mercedes and Finn asked me to see if I noticed anything different about him. And at first I thought everything was because I hadn't seen him since last May but as the weekend went on, the more I saw. Or the more I didn't see."

"The not eating thing." Austin said softly. He shrugged at Matt's look of surprise. "He's not exactly been quiet about his annoyance with Finn and Mercedes."

"Yeah he wouldn't be." Matt chuckled lightly. "At first I thought they were just being paranoid but I never saw him eat. Not once over Thanksgiving weekend. I didn't think that was actually legal."

"He always says he's on a diet. Or he ate earlier." Austin admitted quietly.

"Yeah. I heard that all weekend. When I got back to school it just kept bugging me so I did some research. And honestly, he could pretty much be the poster boy for male eating disorders. I made the conclusion I made, packed a bag and here I am."

"You came to see if you were right."

"Probably closer to the truth that I came to tell him what he had." Matt shuffled his feet. "Didn't go so well."

"I can imagine." Austin snorted. "Where is he now?"

"Probably telling Steven and Raph how he plans to kill me in my sleep. His plans never work but it's not a good idea to be around when he attempts them."

"Yeah. I figured that one out the hard way." Austin admitted as he fully opened the door for the first time. "I should probably leave you out here to freeze all night but unfortunately I've noticed the same things you have. And now I'm wondering if you might be right."

"I really don't want to be right for the record."

"My life would be so much easier if you weren't." Austin agreed. "You might as well come in and show me this research you did. If we're going to talk to him, I'll need to see it."


	23. Chapter 23

"You are either very brave or very stupid." Stephen announced as he opened the door for Matt the next morning. He blinked furiously as he noticed Austin standing directly behind the other man. "Or magical. Because what the hell is wrong with this picture?"

"Is Kurt here?" Matt asked, as he brushed past Stephen.

"No. Raph took him over to the Small." Stephen shook his head and pointed down the street in the direction of the tiny mall that had long been dubbed "the Small" by the students. "A morning spent criticizing the fashion sense of the unenlightened is the best way to get him in at least a human mood. Especially after he was up half the night bitching in my ear. Thanks so much for that by the way."

"Look Stephen, Matt admittedly bungled it but he was trying to do the right thing." Austin defended him as he strode in past a gaping Stephen. "We really need to talk to you and since Kurt isn't here, this will be easier."

"Hold up. What did I miss? Last night you two were death glaring each other to outdo the stars of telenovelas and now Austin, you're defending him? Using the word _we_?" Stephen took a step back on his heels and shook his head. "I fell into a coma while I was sleeping and this is all just the product of my broken brain."

"Your brain is constantly broken." Austin shot back easily. "And Matt and I came to an understanding last night."

"Last night?" Stephen turned his attention to Matt. "You went to his place? Dude you know Kurt's plans don't work. You didn't need to leave."

"It was important." Matt shrugged. He wasn't about to admit to Clara (she would never let him live it down for one thing) but her advice had been perfect. Austin had been surprisingly willing to listen to everything he had noticed over Thanksgiving and everything he had read over the internet. They had debated every point and by the end of the night, Austin agreed with him. Something was potentially seriously wrong here.

Then Austin had offered him a spot on the couch to crash. Matt was highly suspicious Stephen might need to be rushed to the hospital if he found out that little bit of information.

"Whatever it is, it better be on par with the advent of world peace. I've had my sleep disrupted, my totally enthralling spying denied and now I can't even root on an epic battle of the love interests because you two had to go and be all mature about things. Someone needs to start explain why my epic weekend is going downhill and fast."

Matt and Austin exchanged a look, which earned an exasperated sigh out of Stephen. Austin tilted his head slightly indicating Matt should take the lead on this particular discussion. Clenching his fingers together quickly, Matt took a deep breath before beginning. "Do you see Kurt eating?"

"Well no because he's at the Small." Stephen rolled his eyes.

"Since when did you become literal?" Austin questioned. "We mean here. At the house. At school. Do you see him eat?"

"And since when did you two become a we? I'm getting a little freaked out." Stephen protested. "But he always eats after us. Or before us. And my classes are on the other side of campus than his so I can't say about at school."

"He ate earlier or he'll eat after he's finished cooking whatever he's cooking right?" Austin pressed.

"Well yeah. "

"And I bet when we ask him, he'll say he eats in the fashion building." Austin continued looking at Matt.

Matt snorted. "Yeah like anyone in that building eats. He's clearly desperate if he tries to use that one."

"You know there is really nothing more annoying than being asked to join a conversation and then have no fucking clue what it is you're talking about." Stephen tapped his foot impatiently. "Care to fill me in on what has the two you all buddy buddy?"

Once again Matt and Austin locked eyes, only this time Matt tilted his head for Austin to take the lead. Looking at Stephen, Austin twisted a class ring on his finger. "We think Kurt has an eating disorder or at least is on his way to one."

"What? You're serious?" Stephen looked between the two men wildly. "You're serious. This is why you came up here? You think he has an eating disorder? "

"No one has seen him eat in months." Matt began. "He's full of excuses anytime you ask him about food."

"You….you talked to him about this last night." Stephen said rapidly. "That's what pissed him off so badly."

"Yeah." Matt admitted. "I didn't go about this in the right way. But if he is sick, then he needs help. And that's why we needed to talk to you or Raph and see what he does when he's here. Because he'll tell us he eats with you guys."

"Well, I mean, he cooks. He's the only one of us who actually can do that without setting off the smoke alarm you know? But now that you asked me to think about it, I can't remember the last time I saw him actually eat something he made." Stephen scrunched his face in concentration. "I did always think it was weird he would make these delicious things that are so clearly not fat free and be on a diet all the time. Or that he was on a diet period. The guy is skin and bones."

"So you don't see him eat. I don't see him eat. Matt didn't see him eat all Thanksgiving." Austin ticked each item off on his finger. "He's constantly on a diet and he doesn't need one. How could we miss all this?"

"Because when you think eating disorders, you think girls." Matt explained simply. "And Kurt can be really good at avoiding things if he sets him mind to it. Trust me on that."

"So I guess I have to talk to him don't I?" Austin sighed.

"Yeah. Cause he didn't want to hear me last night and if I go with you? He won't listen to either of us."

"You're right." Austin nodded. "I'll go up to the Small and meet up with them. Go back to my place and take it from there."

"That sounds good. Call me and let me know how it went." Matt nodded.

"I will" Austin promised as he jogged out of the house. Matt sighed as he caught Stephen's incredulous eye. If the situation wasn't so serious, he would have laughed at the sight of the other man's opened jaw and clear confusion on his face.

"Oh. My. God." Stephen exclaimed. "First you freak me out by showing up together. Then you tell me my roommate and one of my best friends possibly has an eating disorder and I missed it. And now you two have exchanged phone numbers? Are you trying to cause me to have a stroke?"

"First off, we're not sure if Kurt has an eating disorder. We suspect it. And secondly, Austin's a good guy. Why wouldn't we be friendly?"

"Clearly you're both more mature than I am. If my boyfriend's ex showed up determined to save him from something like this? I'd be convinced the ex was still hung up on him. I have friends in town I don't do something like this for. I guess it helps you have a boyfriend and all but still. If it were me, I'd think you were still in love with him."

Stephen kept talking to himself, clearly not paying any attention to the fact Matt was rooted in place in the hallway. He had rushed up here to confront Kurt on something that he could possibly have. He arrived unannounced. He didn't have a plan. There were several other people clearly he could have contacted who would have come up with him, but he didn't. Finn and Mercedes didn't even know he was up here. He had told everyone that asked, he would do the same for any of his friends, but would he have really rushed back to Lima on the hunch that Puck was in trouble? Matt doubted it.

It had been such a common refrain among their friends; Matt had honestly stopped paying attention to it at all. But this was from Stephen. A guy he just met yesterday. A guy who thought Matt as still with Geoffrey. He would have thought Matt was still in love with Kurt by the way he rushed up here. If anyone back home had said something similar, Matt would have dismissed it as just their longing for the way things were. But Stephen didn't have any such motive to say that.

And when Matt stopped to think about it objectively, it really did look like he was still in love with Kurt. Which begged the question.

Was he?


	24. Chapter 24

**Ok so odds are good that this will be my only update this week. Tomorrow I will likely be far too busy squeeing over well you all know! (Kurt in a ridiculous hat that is so not him it's adorable!) Wednesday i'm leaving for the home of the parentals...and with Thursday being Turkey day...well if I get something done at work tomorrow i'll surprise you but just giving you fair warning! And in case i don't see you all...Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Please know that I am most thankful for all of you and your wonderful reviews, alerts and favorites!**

In the end it seemed the smartest decision was to actually just go back to Columbus. Matt was fairly certain if Mercedes, Finn and Leah were even remotely aware of what he had been up to, they would all declare him incompetent and demand he stay there until they could join him in getting Kurt to see reason. Finn would probably rope Burt, Carole and even little JoBeth into the act for good measure. However, listening to them, (Mercedes and Finn in particular), so far hadn't done him any favors. In fact, it had led to some disastrous consequences. In fact, if he hadn't listened to them, his life would be a whole lot easier. He'd still have Geoffrey, his ex wouldn't be plotting his death and he was fairly certain it wouldn't have occurred to him that he might still be in love with Kurt. Putting his finger in a light socket was probably safer than listening to those three, Matt decided. Clearly no good came of it.

Logic said to go home. Logic said he had done enough damage with his bull in a china shop approach to an intervention. He knew better than almost anyone how stubborn Kurt was. Probably all he accomplished was to greatly increase a serious case of denial. And denial was the enemy in this particular case. The longer Kurt went without help, the worse it could get. Right now, Matt seriously doubted Kurt could look at him without wanting to strangle him. Logic said he had alerted Austin, Stephen and Raph, the people who could actually monitor this thing better than he could. He had done all he could (Short of telling Burt what was going on. But that was clearly when the situation had become dire.) It was time he went home.

After all, as Clara had pointed out, this wasn't a situation that could be solved in a short weekend visit. All his research told him that. It took months of therapy and medical supervision, even under the best of circumstances with the earliest intervention possible. It was probably only the result of watching far too many reruns of _Intervention_ during all night study sessions that had led him to believe one confrontation was enough. How many follow up reports had he seen where the troubled subject had relapsed? And those were session led by people who did this for a living, not a sophomore college student who was now seriously wondering if he was in fact aiming for the right career path.

Logic may have been one hundred percent correct. Austin had been living up to his word and keeping Matt updated with emails and texts. Kurt hadn't appreciated Austin's view anymore than he appreciated Matt's. Stephen and Raph had, probably wisely, decided to not confront Kurt just yet but were lining up evidence to show Kurt when they did. What logic hadn't told him was how much he would want to go back up there and try to fix the situation. How almost every day since he came home, each time he got into his car, he had a serious debate about pointing his car towards the highway and make the same trip he just returned from.

In his heart, Matt knew his going back was a bad idea. A terrible idea. In fact, he was also almost certain his last trip would cause Christmas and New Years in Lima to be one of the most uncomfortable ever recorded. It was certainly depressing the hell out of him on his birthday. But even though he knew it was a horrible idea, Matt couldn't help but want to do exactly that. The idea of transferring even crossed his mind a few times, late at night, but he had dismissed it as soon as it appeared.

"Ok I know you had to work on your birthday." Leah announced as she interrupted his mope fest by landing on the end of his bed. "And I know your day was mostly likely filled with bitchy last minute customers who do not understand the concept of things being sold out a month ago because God forbid they get their asses in gear before the 21st and all. And you're going through a breakup that you refuse to talk about even though you clearly need to or at least indulge in ice cream therapy with me over it. So if these factors converged on any other day I would be totally fine with letting you sit in here and be a grouchy pants for all eternity. But it's your birthday and it's nearly Christmas. So tonight I'm cheering you up."

"I don't need cheering up Lee."

"Yes you do because you are stewing. And you aren't allowed to stew on your birthday. Except if you are in the hospital which you are clearly not. "

"I am not stewing." He was obsessing. There was a difference.

"Yes you are." Leah crossed her arms at her waist. "And it's probably related to that mysterious trip you took the other weekend. The one you won't talk about and the one Geoffrey dumped you because of. I let you slide for a few days but you are driving me crazy. Spill. It will make you feel better."

"No. All it will do is make me look like a bigger dumbass than I already am."

"There is no way my brother could be a dumbass."

"Oh yes there is." Matt sighed as he leaned back against his bedroom wall. "I've been on a one man quest to prove that here lately."

"Then prove it." Leah challenged a satisfied smirk on her lips. She had him trapped by his own logic and she knew it. "Tell me why you think you are such a dumbass and I'll tell you why you are wrong."

"Why did you finally major in education?" Matt wondered. "If you went pre-law, you and Quinn would end up owning the entire world you know."

"Oh Matty, you know how lonely it would be at the top like that!" Leah leaned over to shove his shoulder. "Now spill. And I mean everything, because once we straighten this out, we are having birthday party night of awesome."

If it was anyone but Leah, he probably would have continued to stonewall and give pat answers. But the truth was if anyone could help him sort this out it probably was Leah. His sister may be loyal to a fault, but if he was in fact as ridiculous as he feared he was, Matt trusted Leah to tell him precisely that. So he took a deep breath and spilled every last embarrassing detail of his past week. To her credit, Leah remained silent, not even interjecting so much as a sympathetic tsk at what Matt thought would be a totally appropriate interval. Even when he had finished his recitation, she was _still _silent. In fact she was so quiet, if he hadn't kept his eye on her, Matt would have sworn she had left the room.

"Leah? I'm a dumbass right?"

Leah took a deep breath before reaching out to grab his hand and squeeze it hard. "Matt, you're my brother and so on some level I have to love you. But you are also one of my best friends and I choose to love you. So just know I say this with a lot of love for you, but you aren't a dumbass. You are a clueless moron of the first order."

"Wow. What a wonderful birthday present." Matt deadpanned. "Thanks Leah. I really don't know what to say."

"That's cause you're a clueless moron. Alright first off, I get that you're worried about Kurt and I do think your heart was in the right place, but seriously so many other ways to go about that. I think the only one you could have picked that would have actually been worse would be to have gotten Mercedes and Finn to come with you. This is so beyond something you can handle on your own. You needed backup. "

Leah held up her hand to stop his protest. "And I get that you have that now. But that brings me to my second point. Who the hell makes friends with their ex's current boyfriend? Yeah yeah yeah you two are still friends. Whatever. The entire friends with your ex thing is a total crock of crap. And even if you are friends with them, you don't befriend the current significant other unless it's like a looming engagement or something! Or you have no choice due to things like you're on the same sports team with him or something!"

"And finally, I liked Geoffrey well enough and all but hello this Stephen person? So right. Maybe it would be different if you two had actually broken up because the long distance thing was too hard to do but duh. Of course you still have feelings for him. If you two could actually see yourselves when you're in the same room, you'd gag. You're that obvious. It's like you're back in high school. And of course you had to go and befriend his boyfriend. And you have to be a good guy who doesn't want to chase someone in a relationship so you won't do anything. And even if you were that guy, you've given Kurt a perfect excuse to shoot down with the whole you just broke up with Geoffrey last weekend. Why do you two love drama so much? "

"I don't love drama." Matt corrected. He knew full well Kurt's stance on that particular issue. "And I did just break up with Geoffrey. My feelings are all over the place. I'm not sure how I feel about anyone right now."

"I knew you were going to say that. I knew you were going to say that." Leah shook her head. "Ok this is the plan for the night. We're getting dinner, whatever you want and I'm paying because well it's your birthday. Then we are going to grocery store and buy all the fattening, sweet, sugary foods we always say we aren't going to buy. And since you don't work till late in the afternoon and I don't work at all tomorrow, we're staying up all night eating crap, watching cheesy movies and figuring all this out."

"Do I get any say in this?"

"Not really." Leah shook her head. "You know I'm only doing this because I love you so much right?"

"And here I thought it was an excuse to eat junk food all night."

"Well that too."


	25. Chapter 25

Christmas was never high up on Kurt's list of best times of the year. It was almost intentionally tacky and encouraged the giving of terrible things like gnomes dressed as some kind of college sport playing Santa. Although he could concede the snow could give even grey, depressing Lima a romantic glow, it was pointless if a person didn't have someone to share it with. Which was totally not the reason why he was sitting off in the corner by himself while the rest of his family made merry on a holiday that celebrating something that was completely made up in the first place. And it certainly had nothing to do with the fact Finn was sitting there being disgustingly cute and all couple like on the couch. Was he….he wasn't going to sneak a kiss was he? Kurt grimaced as Courtney giggled and stroked Finn's cheek. Was there no safe place left on this Earth?

He was just going to ignore the voice in his head (the one that sounded entirely too much like Mercedes if he was being honest) that wanted to point out if he hadn't have spent the past three days fighting with Austin he probably wouldn't be fighting back the urge to vomit all over that machine-concocted _thing_ Finn insisted on calling a holiday sweater with dancing reindeers on it. Well he'd still want to vomit all over it, but only because it was beyond ugly and made his soul cry. (It would get worse when Finn would insist on wearing the elf ears later on Christmas morning) It just wouldn't because seeing them being so cozy and couple-like right in front of him just reminded him all the more that right now he was alone and he _hated_ it.

It was entirely Austin's fault. Well it was Matt's fault for putting the stupid idea in his head in the first place but it was Austin's fault for actually listening to that nonsense. So to be charitable he was mad at both of them. And it served them both right that neither one of them would get the gifts he nearly decked some tragic fashion victim in Columbus over on Black Friday. As such, both the exquisitely wrapped boxes were safely in his old basement bedroom and come the day after tomorrow, he was taking them back to the store and getting his money back. Those two didn't deserve presents.

Neither did Finn or Mercedes, since really they had started the entire Facebook campaign to make him eat, but those two had enough sense to not attempt to do an intervention for something that wasn't even a problem. It was less than a problem. It was a non-entity. Just because he didn't feel the need to stuff his face with empty calories that everyone knew went right to his pear hips, didn't mean he had a problem. It just meant that they weren't with him twenty four hours a day.

Sure he was always on a diet. It was just easier to showcase his designs himself than chase down and beg one of his friends to be his model. Bowling Green offered many things, but a ready supply of girls in standard model sizes wasn't one of them. And it wasn't like he was the only one in his class who did that. Kurt could name at least four other design students who did the same thing as him, and two of them were also men. He had tried to explain that to Finn, but his dear step-brother just got that glazed over look on his face he always got when Finn didn't have the faintest idea what Kurt was talking about and was just waiting for the conversation to return to topics he knew something about.

He knew all of them were just worried about him. But if they could learn to express their worry in a more appropriate manner it would be greatly appreciated. An intervention? Kurt scoffed as he remembered Matt's impetuous declaration that he was going to become his shadow. Matt's heart might have been in the right place (not that Kurt was even going to consider admitting that) but really? He thought that would help? Kurt hoped against the currently very long odds against it that Matt would actually get better at this whole confrontation thing. Otherwise? Kurt feared for Matt's future patients and his malpractice insurance would be insane.

The sad truth was that it seemed his friends were bigger drama queens than he ever had hopes of being. It was almost tempting to email Rachel and tell her that she had to forfeit her title for all eternity. The only thing that kept him from that was the sinking feeling Rachel would take such a comment as a direct challenge and he really didn't want to know what she would come up with to top all this.

"Kurrie?" JoBeth tugged on his pants leg, her light eyes as serious as a three year old's could be on Christmas Eve. Kurt felt the first genuine smile he had all day cross his lips as he reached down to scoop her up into his lap. JoBeth giggled delightedly as Kurt made a fruitless effort to smooth her wild curls.

"What are you doing over here Jo-Jo? I thought you were helping Mommy make cookies for Santa."

She nodded, pointing to the kitchen where Kurt could see Carole putting the cookie tray into the oven. "Done." She announced proudly before sticking her thumb in her mouth.

"Hey. Stop that." Kurt playfully swatted her thumb. "Do you want ugly crazy teeth?"

"No." She shook her head before she screwed up her face, wrinkling her button nose. "Why you over here Kurrie?"

JoBeth had just recently started to not have issues saying her Ts thanks to a truly wonderful teacher in her preschool program. However Kurt had the feeling he would remain Kurrie for a long, long time. Not that he minded, even though it did mean Finn felt the need to constantly have a supply of Indian related food jokes ready for all occasions.

"Just thinking." Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "What do you think of Courtney? Did you have fun playing tea party with her?"

JoBeth nodded. "She ate the cookies. Like you used to."

Kurt felt his brows furrow at her comment. Had Finn put her up to that? It didn't seem likely since their sister had a habit of prefacing statements with "Kurrie said" or "Finny said" whenever she was repeating them. But come on, his little sister saying something like that? Finn had to have something to do with it.

"I eat your cookies. They're great."

JoBeth shook her head. "No. You always say you on a diet."

"Not always."

"The last time you didn't."

"I'm sorry Jo-Jo." Kurt hugged her close, not wanting to see the hurt look in her eyes a second longer. "Next time I promise. I'll eat every last cookie."

"Promise?" Kurt would swear on his current subscription to Vogue the skeptical look his sister was giving him could rival his own any day of the week.

"Why would I lie to you?"

"You don't like to eat." JoBeth said simply placing her hands in her lap. "You don't do it anymore."

"I ….I like to eat." He protested weakly. The words weren't all that different than the ones Matt, Finn, Mercedes and Austin had used but he was having a harder time summoning up the same level of anger when the words were coming out of a three year old's mouth.

Unaware of her brother's confusion, JoBeth shook her head. "No. You don't eat. Like I don't eat lima beans cause they're yucky. You think eating is yucky."

"It's not yucky. It's just a… it's only a diet Jo-Jo."

"What's a diet?"

"It's when someone needs to lose weight and so they watch what they eat. A lot of people go on diets."

"Oh." JoBeth nodded seriously. "I'll diet with you. Then you won't be out all alone at dinner."

"No baby. You don't need to diet. You're perfect just the way you are." Kurt hugged her tightly as he tried to figure out a logical way to deflect her words. He had taken to avoiding the kitchen at meal times to not engage in yet another discussion on if he was eating enough. JoBeth didn't need a diet. Lord knows she had always been small for her age. The doctors always said she would grow stronger with time, often pointing to his own late growth spurt as proof that every person developed on their own timeframe. His dad had always assured Carole Kurt had been the exact same way as a child.

And now here was his little sister, declaring she was going to do the same thing her older brother was doing. The same way she would declare she was going to play drums like Finny. Except instead of creating outfits like him, she wanted to diet like him. Something he didn't want her doing.

_If you don't think JoBeth should be doing it, why are you_? Matt's voice came unbidden to the Kurt's mind. Kurt closed his eyes as he pressed a kiss to his sister's forehead. He could almost see Matt standing there, with that questioning look he always got on his face when he knew he had a question Kurt wouldn't be able to answer flippantly or quickly. Honestly, if the expression was so cute Kurt would have slapped it off Matt's face years ago.

"Why don't we have that tea party?" He suggested to JoBeth's delight. The question wasn't going to leave him alone and if he was going to be wrestling with this, he might as well get some tea out of it.


	26. Chapter 26

"You know he's home. You could just call him." Leah pointed out as she sat down next to Matt on the Changs' couch in the living room. Somehow Matt had managed to please the retail gods (or finally found a manager who liked and/or felt sorry for him) and gotten not only Christmas Eve but the entire week between Christmas and New Year's off. This of course, translated for her darling idiot of a brother to sit around the Changs and basically avoid the person he needed to talk to the most.

Which honestly didn't surprise her in the least. Give Matt any problem and he would much rather run away from it than actually confront it. She kept waiting for him to blow up at her for running over his GI Joe "action figures" (Whatever. They were totally dolls. Just like Ken) with her bike when he was four. So naturally in Matt-land, being worried that he completely screwed up his relationship with Kurt meant the logical course was to completely avoid the possibility of actually seeing Kurt.

It was completely logical. If you were a moron. Which Leah was beginning to suspect more and more that her brother was.

"No." Matt shook his head.

"Besides he's already done that." Mike pointed out from the recliner he was currently sprawled across, his eyes focused on the video game battle he and Matt were apparently engaged in. "Kurt's either turned off his phone or is ignoring him."

"I draw the line at 14 unreturned messages." Matt shrugged, keeping his eyes fixed on the TV screen. "A man has his pride."

"A man has his pride? Since when are you a man or have pride?" Leah questioned skeptically. That didn't sound like her brother at all. In fact it sounded almost like…She let out a groan as the reason that particular phrase was so familiar came back to her. "Oh dear God. Who let you watch_ Say Anything_? It's like the worst post break up movie ever!"

"In my defense," Quinn began as she came in from the kitchen, a can of Coke in her hand, "the only other movie I had was _The Princess Bride_, which is so much worse to watch post break up. And he only brought _Serenity _with him. We both know he can't handle Wash's death when he's in a good mood, let alone when he's all depressed and confused. It was the lesser of three evils."

"I am not depressed and I am not confused." Matt defended himself, still keeping his eyes on the screen. Mike snorted his disbelief at that statement as Leah and Quinn rolled their eyes.

"Obviously he's not in his right mind. Make sure when he gets arrested for stalking his ex to mention that to the lawyer you'll have to get him." Leah directed towards Quinn. "Because I'm not bailing him out jail. I think half my ex boyfriends are down there."

That got Matt to at least look at her. A definite improvement over the past two days when he would barely look at her feet She had known he would hate her for a little bit for forcing him to talk about not only the break up with Geoffrey but the entirely blindingly obvious possibility maybe he wasn't as over Kurt as he claimed to be. But it had to happen at some point. She just didn't think he would try to cold shoulder her this long. "You don't have any exes in jail in Columbus."

"Who said I was talking about Columbus?" Leah pointed out. "And one of my exes is a jailer here in town."

"Geoffrey isn't in town."

"Who said I was talking about that ex?"

Matt dropped his video controller to the ground. "Wow. An entire day since the last time you attempted this conversation. Must be a new record."

"Not really." Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "You only came in here to avoid me talking to you about the very same thing."

"Oh great." Mike sighed as he too gave up the video game. "Now I'm your distraction attempt? I feel the love bro."

Matt stood up, rolling his eyes, pointing to each one of them as he spoke. "You are not a distraction attempt. I'm not avoiding talking to you about anything. And we established back home that you are out of your mind."

"Matty, you know we're only doing this because we love you and it's for your own good. " Leah sighed, her voice laced with patience. They had only had this conversation a few times since his birthday after all. "You tend to get all closed mouth and you tend to convince yourself not to go for something you actually want."

"This again." Matt threw up his hands and walked out of the living room. "Seriously I love you guys but you have to let it go."

"We'll let it go when you admit the truth." Leah argued as she followed him into the seldom used sitting room in the front of the house. Mike and Quinn wisely decided to stay where they were. This would go much better if Matt didn't feel like he was being ganged up on. He was, but he didn't have to feel that way.

"Admit what? That I still have feelings for Kurt? Sure I do. He's one of my closest friends."

"That's not what I meant and you know it." Leah crossed her arms. "You still love him."

"As my friend." Matt emphasized. "I know none of you actually understand why we decided to break up when we did but it was so we could still be friends now. Something we both wanted. And ok fine, it gets confusing sometimes but you know what doesn't help? Every last one of our friends telling us what we feel. "

"Matt, we aren't doing that." Leah softened her voice and reached out to touch his arm. She hadn't heard Matt go on a tirade like that in years. The last time was probably when he had shown up on her doorstep that night in the rain.

"Yes you are. I know you mean well Leah. I know everyone does. But this was for the best. It still is. We're heading in different directions. And we'll always be friends but we can't be together. Not now. And yeah Geoffrey and I didn't work out. And I screwed up at the end there. But you know what didn't help? Constantly hearing at every turn that I was still hung up on someone. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess Kurt and Austin aren't too thrilled with it either."

"Matt….."

"Just answer me one question Leah. Why is it Kurt and I are the only ones not allowed to move on? "Matt turned on his heel, brushing past Leah on his way to the front door. He needed to get out of this house before he said something he wouldn't be able to take back. Every person had their limits and he had reached his. Yes he had broken up with Geoffrey. Alright, been dumped. And it sucked but he was getting through it. And yes he was worried about Kurt. He wasn't the only one worried. He was the only one who had attempted an intervention and potentially did more damage, but Mercedes and Finn were probably only days away from doing the exact same thing. It was a clusterfuck of suck but that was life at times. This constant focus on what he was or wasn't feeling about his relationship (currently lack of one) with Kurt wasn't helping anyone.

He pushed through the front door, grabbing his jacket from it place by the door. He made it as far as his car door before Mike ran out the door calling his name.

"What?" Matt hissed as he best friend ran up to him.

"Kurt's on the phone." Mike said simply, holding out the seldom used cordless phone to him.

"Oh sure Kurt's on the phone." Matt rolled his eyes. This was clearly some sort of ridiculous test Leah or Quinn came up with so they could justify their constant meddling. "And he would call the landline here because?"

"Because your phone is dead? Remember? And who doesn't know you're here during the holidays?" Mike pointed out. "And those fourteen messages? Remember them?"

Matt grabbed the phone out of Mike's hand. Of course they would have gotten Mike involved in this. Mike always could think quickly on his feet and remain calm under pressure. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing."

"Yeah giving you the phone. Big time conspiracy." Mike rolled his eyes as he headed back to the house.

"Hello." Matt said into the phone, waiting expectantly for his sister or Quinn's voice to come through the line.

"Matt?"

"Kurt?"

"Yeah. Can we meet up?"


	27. Chapter 27

He had almost gotten up and left at least five times in the past fifteen minutes. What in the name of all that was Gaga had possessed him to consider this a good idea, Kurt wondered. Sure it was Matt, and knowing Matt, he was likely way more nervous than Kurt was. And for good reason. But that was just it. It was Matt. And Kurt was going to say something two days ago he would have sworn he would never say.

Kurt tapped his finger against the side of his rapidly cooling latte. He had ordered it more to have something to occupy his hands and to avoid the barely concealed glances of annoyance from the waiters that loitered throughout Jackson's. The post Christmas crowds of shoppers trying to return and exchange unwanted gifts kept a steady of stream through the café's doors. Every table was money and Kurt had been holding on to this one with his lonely latte for the last thirty minutes at least. In his defense his loitering hadn't been intentional. Apparently he had far more nervous energy than he realized since he had quite obviously flown through his usually lengthy getting-ready-to-go-out routine. So what normally took him an hour to do, he had finished in a mere fifteen minutes; a fact his father, Finn and Carole never needed to know.

The jangle of the bells attached to the entrance alerted Kurt yet again that someone had entered the café. Reminding himself that roughly the last hundred times this had happened the only thing he saw was yet another tired, cranky patron in a terrible coat sag as the heat surrounded them, Kurt tried not to whip his head up to see who had enter. As such, he hoped that when he did see Matt standing there, scanning the crowd, Matt's first sight wasn't him jerking his head up as if he had been electrocuted.

Their eyes met across the crowd and Matt gave what Kurt could tell was a nervous half smile as he made his way to the table. Kurt took the minute to take a deep breath in an attempt to keep his thoughts from racing. He could do this. He had to do this. It wouldn't be particularly pleasant but it had to be done.

"I don't think I've been here since Quinn stopped seeing that guy from Carmel." Matt remarked as he sat down opposite Kurt. "It seems to have gotten more popular since then."

"You know Lima. They catch on to what we were doing five years after the fact." Kurt joked, mentally wincing at the awkward sound of his laugh.

"Kurt? Don't get me wrong I'm glad to see you. I'm just a little surprised." Matt started to say hesitantly. "I kinda had the impression you never wanted to see me again."

"I didn't. " Kurt admitted. "I knew it would difficult to pull off but I totally had a plan on how we could both be in Lima, never see each other and still see our mutual friends."

"So it was completely insane and had no chance of actually working."

"It may have involved ninjas. That was the only sticking point."

"Oh yeah. Of course. Ninjas." Matt nodded, clearly trying to not laugh.

"But the lack of quality ninjas in Ohio is not the reason I called you." Kurt sighed. "I had an interesting conversation with JoBeth on Christmas Eve."

"About why you've only ever bought her clothes for presents?" Matt guessed.

"No." Kurt fixed his eyes on the mug clutched tightly in his hands. "About how she was going to go on a diet too so I wasn't always sitting alone while everyone else ate."

He heard the quick intake of breath Matt did and could imagine the flinch Matt had just done. "And that was after she told me I never eat anymore and that clearly I find eating as yucky as she finds lima beans."

"Oh man." Matt whispered. "Kurt I….."

Kurt held up his hand to cut Matt off. "You know when she first said it; I thought Finn had clearly told her to say that. It sounded exactly what he's been saying for months now. And I realize he's probably the one that talked to you in the first place. Him and Mercedes that is. And for a split second there, I wondered when all three of had found time to coach her to say exactly that. Then I remembered how JoBeth always says who told her to say something. And she didn't start it by saying Finny said. Or Cedes said. Or Matty said. She just said it."

"Kurt…"

"The weirdest thing?" Kurt finally looked up, continuing as if Matt hadn't spoken. He kept his eyes moving everywhere but on Matt. "When she said she was going to go on a diet too, my first thought was I didn't want her on a diet with me. It wasn't going to happen. "

"Kurt?" Matt reached out and grabbed his hand. He sat there holding Kurt's hand until Kurt felt he had no choice but to look at him finally. "Why did you want to see me?"

"I know we fought about this when you came up to see me. And I called you insane among other things. But I'm thinking….." Kurt took in a shaking breath. "I'm thinking it might be something I have to look at."

"Look at? What do you mean by that?"

"I had Carole make me an appointment with my doctor before I go back to school. And if he seems to concur with your amateur diagnosis, I'll make an appointment to talk to someone in the counseling center when I get back to school."

They sat there in silence for several minutes, both trying to keep tears from falling. Matt closed his eyes for a long minute, squeezing Kurt's hand before opening them again. "When I came up to see you, I didn't exactly have a plan. And you know better than most people how that tends to backfire on me. I know I overstepped and I caused you and Austin a lot of problems. That wasn't my intention. I was just worried. I'm still worried but this helps."

"I get that. Now. And don't worry about Austin. I'm sure once I finally talk to him, we'll get it worked out."

"You haven't talked to him yet?"

"No. We've basically been fighting since you left." Kurt caught sight of the guilt that flashed across Matt's face. "Don't feel guilty. If you hadn't of shown up, I 'm sure Cedes or Finn would have at some point. And they would have been worse. If that's possible."

"Yeah I'm not proud of that whole stalking you into eating idea. For the record I'll never suggest that to anyone ever again."

"Good because it's incredibly creepy. Like Jacob Ben Israel levels of creep."

"Duly noted." Matt laughed lightly before he sobered. "This is a good thing Kurt. I promise."

Belatedly Kurt realized they were still holding hands. He didn't make a move to remove his hand. The contact right now was reassuring. "I'm scared."

"I know. But you know you just have to call and I'll help however can. Whatever you need."

Kurt nodded, not trusting his voice to break in a way it never had during puberty. Taking a breath to calm himself, he managed a watery smile. "Even if right now I need a subject change for a little while?"

"Then it's a good thing I've seen pictures of Quinn's latest boyfriend." Matt smiled. "Because he's going to be harder to scare off than Dockers dude."


	28. Chapter 28

The message in and of itself was completely and almost painfully normal. Just one in a sea of notifications about status changes, group formation, and relationship changes. If it wasn't for the actual name of the group, Kurt doubted he would have even paid attention to it at all. After all he had enough drama in his life right now and he really didn't need to add to it. These days he stuck to only clearing out his notifications from his Facebook account.

His days were a blur of classes, choir practice (the shortage of quality tenors and countertenors had led to the choir director to begging Kurt to at least participate as an extra circular activity. He had agreed mainly because it was downright painful to see the respected head of the department beg like that), doctor's appointments and therapy. And of course checking in with what felt like everyone he had ever met after the last two activities. Which a part of him completely understood and another part of him found more than a little annoying at times. Kurt had realized he was going to have to keep everyone in the loop at the beginning, but he really hadn't expected it to continue for three months.

Everyone had been emailing, posting on his wall, calling, and Rachel had even insisted on writing actual letters (so he could donate them to a university of her choosing when she became a big star so he could feel a part of her process) every week. Stephen, Raph and Austin very rarely left him alone. It was sweet. It was supportive. It also meant he pretty much didn't need to rely on Facebook for news updates from his friends. These days he tended to find things out first hand.

All of which explained why Kurt was absolutely at a loss for words when he saw the announcement of a new group.

**Mike Chang has started a new group: Matt Rutherford Needs To Change His Relationship Status.**

It seemed Leah and Mercedes had immediately joined the group, followed quickly by the rest of New Directions and some people Kurt could only assume were friends of Matt's from OSU. A few quick clicks landed him on the group's main page with it's extremely simple and eye opening message statement from Mike.

_Matt, we all love you. And we know you tend to move slowly and you're a basic hermit. But bro, it's been months. Time to switch that relationship status to single. We promise, we don't believe you're still hung up on this ex. CHANGE THE STATUS BRO! IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON!_

The message had been liked by every member of the group. Quinn had even chimed in with a short: _Honestly Matt, it was over before Christmas. New Year new status update! _Artie had apparently uploaded a video entitled "Romantic Wisdom to My Bro". Now that was likely good for a laugh. As much as Kurt loved his suspender/sweater vest wearing friend, the idea of Artie giving romantic advice was as hilarious as him giving fashion advice.

"Seriously...man...you're SINGLE. And I have it on good authority that this generally means you should change your Facebook status. Now, as it turns out, everyone else, that's actually a good rule of thumb. You break up with someone? Do you keep them in the friend-zone? No! You get rid of their cell phone numbers! You delete them from all social networking sites! You avoid social gatherings involving them altogether. Because if you do those things, chances are, you are NEVER EVER going to move on, and will, therefore likely be MISERABLE. Now, my boy Matt, here, seems to have made that mistake with his first ex, but I'm just sayin'. So, Matt, I suggest you follow those steps, or be prepared to subject yourself to a viewers-choice challenge." Artie nodded seriously from what looked to be his dorm room in St. Louis before holding up a single piece of paper for the camera with his unmistakable scrawl written across it. **CHANGE THE STATUS OR I'LL MAKE MR. SCHUE RAP A MESSAGE TO YOU!**

While Matt hadn't ever joined the group, it did seem he felt the need to respond to Artie's video with his own video called "Really Bro? Romantic Advice from You?"

Matt sighed in irritation before looking straight at the camera. "Dude? The day I take romantic advice from the guy who ignored his girl for a summer long Halo tournament is a long cold day in Sue Sylvester run glee club hell. And considering you were friends with Tina after you two broke up, practice what you preach much? And what viewers to challenge me? The only people who are watching this are the old members of New Directions and my sister. They can't do anything too evil because I know everyone's secrets. And I like Mr. Schue's rapping. That's right! I said it! So bring it on! The more Bust A Move the better! Ice Ice Baby too cold! I ain't saying she's a gold digger but come on let's call his first wife what she was. I think I'll keep everything as is just to make sure that happens."

As entertaining as the ensuing debate was on whether or not Matt had actually been serious about that declaration (he was. Kurt knew he was), it still didn't distract Kurt from the fact that Matt had apparently broken up with Geoffrey and he had no idea it had happened. Some friend he was. Matt had come all the way up to Bowling Green to confront him when he just suspected something was wrong and Kurt had no idea Matt had broken up with his boyfriend or when it happened.

He scrolled down the list of contacts on his phone, landing on one he had only recently started using again. Clicking it, Kurt bit his lip as he heard the call connect and begin to ring.

"Hello?" Matt as clearly distracted. Kurt knew Matt had a habit of checking his caller ID so he would know who was calling him. Only when he was in a hurry did Matt not look at the screen first.

"Why are you popular enough to have your own Facebook group? Don't you shun attention?" Kurt teased.

"I'm going to strangle Mike the next time he comes home. Followed closely by Artie who I think actually gave him the idea." Matt sighed and Kurt could almost see the rueful head shake that accompanied it. "How are you doing Kurt?"

"Fine. I'm confused as to this entire's group existence and why I'm apparently the last to know that you and Geoffrey broke up. "

"The group exists because Mike and Artie were bored and probably drunk and online together. It's a bad combination. As to why I didn't tell you, you have a lot going on and it's not like you actually liked Geoffrey to begin with. "

"I like him." Kurt protested.

"Kurt. Come on. You two shot death daggers at each other constantly. I only pretended not to notice so I didn't have to have the same conversation a million times."

"Alright I wasn't his biggest fan but that doesn't mean I would have done a victory dance if you had told me. I don't like seeing you hurt. You know that. "

"I know that. But trust me. It wasn't the right time. You weren't exactly speaking to me when it happened."

They weren't speaking? That would mean they had broken up around the time Matt had shown up for his horrible intervention idea. Matt and Geoffrey broke up nearly four months ago and he was just now finding this out? "Wait….had you two broken up when you came up that day?"

"Closer to right before I got in the car that day." Kurt let out a small groan which Matt hurried to cut off. "Don't. You were dealing with enough. I was fine or at least on the way there by the time we met up at Jackson's. As for not telling you after that, I don't know. I guess I just got out of the habit of telling you everything. "

"And the entire time I'm telling you everything about my personal drama."

"Hey I told you to tell me that stuff remember?"

"Still. You can tell me these things too." Kurt lowered his voice to a whisper. "I missed talking to you last year you know? I mean I knew what was going on thanks to Mike and Quinn but I missed hearing it from you."

"I missed it too. " Matt admitted equally softly. "A lot more than I realized until these past couple of months."

"Can we make a deal?"

"Depends on what it's about."

"I know people love to talk about us, but can we can just ignore all of that? Can we be friends again? Real friends who tell each other things and not let each other find out about life events on Facebook? I don't want that for us."

He hadn't fully realized it until recently but he had missed Matt the past year more than he knew. Even though they had barely seen each other freshman year, there was still something about just know Matt was a phone call or chat session away that had comforted Kurt. The knowledge Matt was still there, in a different role but still very much present, had kept him steady. They had made the decision to break up in order to remain friends and it was time they actually lived up to that. As much as he loved Austin, there were some spaces in Kurt's life that were already filled by Matt and he wasn't willing to give those spaces up.

"I don't want that either. But if you join that group? The deal is off."

"Only if you change the relationship status. When everyone else finds out about this thanks to Leah, they will try to get to you through me. And that's not a road we want to encourage them on."

"Excellent point." Kurt could hear the tell-tale clicking of keys as Matt's fingers flew over the keyboard. "There. It should show up now."

Kurt smiled as a notification filtered past his eyes. **Matt Rutherford is single. Matt Rutherford wonders if everyone is happy now**. "It's up."

His own fingers typed quickly as he posted on the group's wall. Matt only said he couldn't join the group. He never said he couldn't post anything on the wall.

**Amateurs. I got it changed in one phone call. Don't doubt the master. **


	29. Chapter 29

**Ok just in case some of you ARE reading these things...umm I didn't lie. The Muse just flipped the script on me and well it's potential was too good to be ignored. So it had to change. So basically I told the truth and the time and the muse decided to make me look like a liar. But it's all for a good reason. I swear! (come on don't you trust me by now? A little? Just a little?) Much love to all of you!**

"Oh _hell_ to the no." Kurt swore as stared at the message in his inbox.

He had nearly forgotten about the profile Stephen and Raph had written up for him during freshman year. They had deemed it necessary when every last one of the blind dates they had arranged had failed to result in a second date or, as Raph so tastefully put it, "getting some". When he met Austin he had stopped reading the emails announcing his perfect match had been made altogether. At this point he had deleted the emails so many times, they went straight to his spam folder. But every now and then one snuck through to his inbox.

Like this one.

There wasn't any particular reason why Kurt had decided to open this particular promise of a perfect match. He and Austin had been doing better lately. It wasn't perfect but it was a decent substitute. And really Austin had been amazing throughout his entire eating crisis. There probably weren't many guys who would have stuck around for the seemingly endless therapy appointments, group sessions and doctor's visits. It annoyed Kurt and it was his problem. He knew it was necessary. Austin hadn't signed up for any of this when they started dating and Kurt wouldn't have blamed him if he had bailed. It would have been perfectly understandable.

But he hadn't bailed. He stayed and even offered to come to a few sessions with Kurt if he wanted. He was sweet, understanding and patient. In short, Austin had been the model of a perfect boyfriend. So opening this particular email was clearly just to laugh at what some computer thought was a pale comparison to the real thing.

Except Kurt wasn't exactly laughing. Gaping in horror and stunned amazement was probably closer to the truth. This….this….this didn't even make sense. Well it did on an eye-rolling "You've got to be kidding me" level. But other than that? There was a very real possibility he had somehow starved himself without knowing right into hallucinations. That made much more sense.

His fingers flew across the keyboard, punching up a familiar email address. Pushing the send button, Kurt grabbed his phone, scrolling to the contact name from memory. "Pick up. Pick up. Do not be in the library for once in your life. Do not be in the library."

"Kurt?" Matt's questioning voice came across the line as Kurt sighed in relief. "Everything ok?"

"Tell me you aren't at the library."

"I'm doing fine Kurt. Not busy at all to talk to you." Matt teased.

"Just tell me you aren't at the library."

"And your sudden obsession with where I am shouldn't concern me because?"

"Because what I just sent you will get you kicked out of the library and I don't need the hate messages from Leah because you refuse to leave the apartment." Kurt said simply.

"Well I'm at home so if whatever it is, is that good, I'll just annoy the neighbors. " Matt paused as if a new idea occurred to him. "Which isn't exactly a bad thing. They like to play Nickleback at three in the morning."

"Go to your email. Don't question me. Just go." Kurt commanded, leaning back against his chair in anticipation of Matt's reaction.

"So are we talking about why you have a profile on ?" Matt wondered. "Something going on with you and Austin that no one knows about?"

"That was Stephen and Raph's brilliant idea for me freshman year. Since I didn't actually write the profile, I fail to see why I should be the one to delete it."

"Oh sure. Besides the whole you have a boyfriend thing, that makes perfect sense." Kurt could just see Matt nodding his head, just like he would when he was only humoring one of his more complicated plans.

There was a quick intake of breath that indicated Matt had indeed opened the email and then silence. Total silence for what felt like an eternity. Then three words. "Oh. Fucking. Hell." Matt managed.

"Ok that would have been a better reaction. All I could manage was a 'Hell to the no'." Kurt exclaimed. "I mean….seriously? Seriously? Oh good Gaga! This has reduced me to quoting _Grey's Anatomy_!"

"Alright I need some clarification here. Are we freaking out over Karofsky having a profile on or the fact some computer thinks you're a perfect match? Because freaking out over both might send me into a total meltdown. I have an interview at a mental hospital tomorrow and it wouldn't look that good if I miss it because I've been admitted. "

"Take your pick."

"Well it does make a certain amount of sense. He was always an ass, but he was extra assy to us." Matt paused, as if trying to remember something. "I thought Puck said he saw him in town with his girlfriend the other week."

"Oh even better. He's still in the closet. Exactly the perfect guy for me!"

"You do have experience in helping people out of that closet." Matt barely held back his laugh.

"You wouldn't find this so funny if it was happening to you." Kurt fumed.

"Well not until Leah took me out and got me drunk." Matt admitted. "Then it would be on par with _The Hangover_."

"That's not exactly an option for those of us who get accused of being eleven."

"You should come down to Columbus. You'd get upgraded to at least thirteen."

"Matt I'm serious."

"You're over-reacting is what you're doing. Before you knew who this match was did you have any intention of contacting this person?"

"Well no…"

"And you still don't. I admit the circumstances are eye opening but come on it _is_ funny. And it's a computer thing. It's not like they asked "Were you a bullying asshole in high school?" and purposefully found _you_."

"I really hate it when you talk sense in the middle of my perfectly fine meltdown."

"Then don't call me in the middle of one." Matt pointed out with what Kurt could only assume was a shrug of his shoulders. "But you do realize the flip side of this right?"

"The flip side?"

"If you got an email from the site that Dave Karofsky's the perfect match for you, what's in his inbox right now?"

Kurt felt his eyes widen as Matt's implication hit him. "Oh. My. Gaga. He has an email with my name in it."

"Exactly. That has to be his worst nightmare. From what we know, he may still be in the closet and out of all the people on this site, he gets matched up with not only someone from his hometown but the person he made miserable back then. "

"And he'd figure I'd at least tell Finn. Or Puck. He would have to know I still see them. That's just logic." Kurt added.

"Right. At this moment, he's shaking in his boots."

"It does feel like some kind of karmic justice." Kurt agreed. "I mean I do feel bad for the guy if he's still in the closet and having that struggle. And I wouldn't share this with anyone but you."

"Yeah. I'm not planning on posting this on Facebook or anything."

"I know we're out of Lima. It's the past and we're both heading towards better things and all that. But still, it's really hard to forgive the people who made home so miserable."

"Yeah. I doubt I'm going to be inviting Karofsky or Azimo to stop by if they are ever in the area anytime in the, oh the next millennium."

"And your parents?" The words slipped out before Kurt had a chance to stop them. He cringed immediately; wishing (not for the first time) life had a rewind button. They had rarely talked about his parents when they were together. The odds of Matt wanting to talk about it now were even less than they were back then. Still Kurt could not deny he was curious. Had Matt been able to put what his parents did to him behind him? Had he dealt with it at all? "Have you forgiven them?" He asked softly.

Matt was silent. Kurt could imagine him leaning back in his chair, his legs stretched out, one ankle crossed over the other. He was probably biting his lower lip with his eyes closed, gathering his thoughts. The hand that wasn't holding his phone was most likely pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Matt?"

"Yeah. I'm here." A sigh came across the phone line. "I was just thinking."

"You don't have to answer that. I don't even know why I asked. It's not my business."

"But other than Leah, Mike and Susan, you know the whole story better than anyone." Matt pointed out. "I was just surprised by the question. And I guess the answer is I don't know. Maybe that's why I'm majoring in psychology to figure that out."

"Makes sense." Kurt agreed. "You'll be a fabulous therapist for a myriad of reasons but that does make sense."

"I'm doing better with it though. And I have Leah."

"Leah is all things awesome. As she'll tell you herself." Kurt laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"You and anyone who will listen." Matt agreed. "So are we deleting this or saving it for a special occasion?"

Kurt recognized the attempt at a subject change for what it was. And he should just go with it. They were friends again but if Matt wasn't ready to talk about this, then he wasn't going to push him. It could push Matt right out of his life and Kurt didn't want that to happen.

"You delete. I'll save for now. I want to try out that drunk theory of yours."


	30. Chapter 30

"No."

"Why not? It's the perfect solution for you!"

"Yeah if I lived on planet crazy." Matt scoffed as he held up one of his textbooks. "I just want to study the planet, not move there."

"Too late. I think you're the president." Artie shrugged as he continued to trace the track pad on his laptop. "You should do this."

"Yes with my unlimited free time coming up." Matt rolled his eyes. He had known visiting Artie was a mistake. He had two weeks between the end of school and the start of his new job and while the thought of spending two weeks doing nothing had its perks, Leah was in a full fledge newly graduated and still no job panic. Sticking around the apartment was a bad idea. He could have hidden at the Changs (Susan was always telling him he went too long between visits) but outside of Puck, none of his friends were going to be around Lima this summer. Mike had landed a chorus part in an off-off-off Broadway musical so he was staying in New York. Rachel was participating in a summer series through Julliard. Finn claimed he was staying in Athens to take summer classes, but everyone realized it was to be near Courtney, who lived just outside of Athens. Which Matt probably would have been able to appreciate if he wasn't currently single. Santana and Brittany still had some cheerleading competitions and helping out at a cheerleading camp on their schedule. Tina, Quinn and Mercedes would all be in town later on in the summer, after vacations they had planned with their friends from school. Kurt was staying in Bowling Green, if for no other reason than it was just easier to keep his therapist and doctor current on what he was doing if he was actually in town. The owner of a local bridal and formal wear salon had hired him as a sales consultant and Matt knew Kurt was having the time of his life.

Artie was in the same boat, so to speak. He had landed a summer internship with an IT firm based in St. Louis. It started almost the same day Matt's new job began. So when Artie suggested Matt spend his only two weeks of freedom this summer with him in St. Louis, Matt had initially thought it was a good idea. He hadn't seen Artie since New Years and he hadn't been to St. Louis outside of a brief drive through on a disastrous cross-country family vacation to Denver when he had been around ten. There was the Arch. The Cardinals. Tons of free museums. (Alright he could admit he was a nerd but so was Artie. It all worked out.) He had never not had fun with Artie.

Apparently there was a first time for everything.

It had started out fine enough. Not so secretly rooting for the Reds while sitting in Busch Stadium was probably only considered fun to them, but it had been worth it when their team won. Then Matt had made what he now knew to be the fatal mistake. He asked Artie just what exactly he was going to be working on at the IT company. It had seemed so innocent a question at the time. Matt realized his mistake almost seconds after Artie revealed he would be helping to create a dating site specifically for singles in the St. Louis area. This apparently reminded Artie that he was single. And that pretty much explained why ever since then, Artie had been trying to convince him internet dating was the way to go.

"Which is why you should do this." Artie argued, pushing his glasses up his nose. "You're a workaholic hermit."

"Oh please stop with the compliments. You're making me blush."

Artie continued as if Matt had never spoken. "You don't really like the club scene since you only ever go when Leah drags you to one. Not to mention your ex is into it, and yeah that's not awkward at_ all_. You're shy. From what I can tell on your wall posts you reject the idea of blind dates. Bro, if you ever want to get laid again, it's down to the internet or become best friends with your right hand."

Matt sat up from where he had been lounging on Artie's second hand sofa long enough to throw a mostly flat pillow at his friend, who easily batted it away. "Puck has nothing on you in the crude department."

"And like our esteemed friend I am only speaking the truth." Artie shrugged his shoulders. "Not to mention your reluctance to meet people in other perfectly acceptable situations is kinda a large part of the reason the topic which you have forbidden us to discuss. " Artie held up his hands in an imitation of surrender. "Don't shoot the messenger but it doesn't help you sell the _we're-just-friends_ thing if you don't act like you at least want to meet someone else."

"Oh don't tell me _that's_ started again." Matt groaned, covering his eyes with his hands.

"You're acting like it ever stopped." Artie snorted. "I'm just saying it would be good for you. "

"You know nothing good ever comes from someone saying it's good for you. That always means you have to grin and bear something awful."

"You don't know it will be awful. A lot of people do online dating. It's not just for geeks, although there are plenty of your kind still around." Artie held up his phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling for reinforcements." Artie said cheerfully. "Hey Kurt! Do me a favor and tell Matt he's being an idiot will you? Thanks."

Artie tossed Matt the phone before he could fully appreciate what just happened. "Hello?"

"Matt?" Kurt's confused voice came over the line. "Why does Artie want me to call you an idiot?"

"Because he thinks that online dating is the solution to all my problems and I disagree."

"Well…."

"Oh not you too!" Matt groaned as he fell back on the sofa's cushions. "_You're_ the one who hates the fact you have a profile out there."

"Yes but as we've discussed that wasn't my idea in the first place. And I at least would go out and meet people. You, my dear boy, you don't. "

"I don't exactly have time to meet people Kurt."

"And you don't make time when you do." Kurt pointed out. "I know how you are. You'd rather stay at home and watch a marathon of whatever true crime show you can find than go out and possibly meet someone when you do have free time. "

"There is nothing wrong with that."

"Not on occasion. But you are too special person to be alone Matt. Someday I'm going to make sure you believe that."

"And done." Artie announced proudly.

"Done?" Matt's attention shifted suddenly. "What do you mean done?"

"Your profile is up and running." Artie grinned broadly before raising his voice so Kurt could hear it over the phone. "Thanks Kurt! Couldn't have done it without you."

"Why do I do I suddenly feel more used than Oprah by Gayle?" Kurt questioned.

"Kurt. I'm going to have to go now. Mainly because I'm about to Artie's body and I don't want you to be charged as an accessory."

"I see watching those crime shows have come in handy." Kurt chuckled. "Call me if you need bail money."

Matt ended the call with barely a glance at the phone. He narrowed his eyes on Artie's still grinning, soon-to-be dead body. "I'm going to kill you."

"This is for your own good." Artie pointed out. "You need to get out there again."

"Ok that sounded like Leah so after I kill you, I'm killing her."

"But…but you already have a match. Aren't you the least bit curious about him?" Artie protested.

"No."

"But…he's..."Artie's eyes widened as he re-read whatever was on his screen. His head popped up suddenly, locking eyes with Matt's. "You know, on second thought, if you could just avoid the face to make identification easy that would be great."

"That's an awfully quick turnabout." Matt's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What exactly did you read?"

"Nothing." Artie shook his head quickly. "Absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing that you would like at all."

Matt leaned forward, causing Artie to cover his face with his hands. Matt grabbed the laptop, determined to see just what had caused his ridiculously stubborn friend to backpedal so quickly. He nearly dropped the computer when he saw the picture. The very picture he had joked was the real reason Kurt hated having a profile out there. Stephen and Raph had snapped it when he wasn't actually expecting having his picture taken. Kurt was sitting outside, under a tree, a train conductor's hat perched on his head as he looked quizzically at the camera. It was, as Tina had put it when she tagged the picture on Facebook, too freaking adorable for words.

Apparently the universe had a sick sense of humor because the same site that hilariously found Dave Karofsky to be a perfect match for Kurt, had decided he too was perfect for his ex.

"I said you wouldn't like it." Artie sighed.


	31. Chapter 31

"Ok, so you know how you want to work with kids?" Leah asked as she walked through the apartment door. Shrugging off her shoulder bag onto the floor, she collapsed into the chair over the armrest. "Bad idea. Very bad idea. Trust me. Change your major to something like computers so you never have to work with them."

"If I did that, one day I would probably end up working for one of those kids." Matt pointed out without looking up from his laptop screen. "Tough day in the trenches?"

"I am completely hopeless at this. Why I thought this would be a good idea is beyond me." Leah waved her hands in the air. "I am in debt up to my eyeballs and I completely suck at this. I am a bigger moron than you are. Never thought that would happen but it's true. It's so completely true."

"Leah, you're teaching summer school." Matt sighed as he lowered the screen to look his sister in the eye. "Very few of them want to be there and you're brand new. Your students are like dogs. They smell fear. I'm sure your regular class will be fine."

"But I'm not going to get a regular class." Leah groaned. "Even if I wasn't a total failure as a teacher, and I am, I still won't have a class full of delinquents and such because I'm an Arts teacher. And no one wants to hire someone to teach drama and English when they could hire a new football or badminton coach."

"Badminton?"

"How else are we going to beat the Chinese at the next Olympics if we don't start getting serious about it in high school Matt?"

"Ok one; you've clearly watched too many Bud Greenspan documentaries recently."

"You know those are like crack. You can't stop at just one. They just suck you in and the next thing you know it's the next day and you've been crying about the Ethiopian runner who finished dead last but at least he finished and was the hero of his tiny village."

"Second, anyone who says I need to meet someone needs to come and have a conversation with you. I have more of a life than you do at this point. And we both know that's pretty pathetic."

"Note to you? You aren't supposed to kick a person while they are down. Isn't that like How to Do Therapy 101 or something?"

Matt shrugged his shoulders. "That's in grad school I'm sure. And third, we both know there is a school in Ohio, not that far away from here that would hire you. In fact, at least two of your references work there already. You just won't consider it because you're stubborn."

"That's not even an option Matt."

"Yes it is." Matt placed his laptop on what passed for a coffee table for them and leaned forward. "Lee I'm not going to fall apart if you aren't here."

"That's not the reason. There are tons of reasons why I don't want to go back to McKinley as a teacher. You know like Figgins is not my biggest fan."

"Figgins would barely remember who you are. The man walks around in an oblivious fog most of the time. And nice try. That's not it and you know it."

"We've been through this. I have my own reasons for not wanting to go back to Lima."

"All of which somehow relate to me."

"Someone has a big ego."

"Yeah. That would be you." Matt laughed. "If McKinley is hiring, you should go for it. Don't factor me into this decision. You need to do what's best for you. If that's going home, then it's going home."

"Ok number one, if I ever have a good offer from McKinley then I'll consider it. And since I heard right now Figgins is trying some crazy budget saving measure by having the janitor teach English, I'll pass. Number two, issues with going home aren't just about you ok? I don't want you taking that on. My issues are mine."

"We both know that if I hadn't come out the way I did, you'd probably still be in touch with mom and dad."

"We don't know that. You are many things but a mind reader isn't one of them. And quite frankly I think I'm entitled to at least consider what would happen to you if I left you on your own here. "Leah reached out and squeezed his knee. "You'd starve because you'd forget to go the grocery store or something."

"Clara wouldn't let me starve."

"Well if I ever think of leaving, I'll have to insist Clara move in with you." Leah laughed. "And as for your not so veiled hint that I need a boyfriend, you're one to talk Mr. I Got Matched Up With My Ex For Online Dating. Have you even talked to Kurt about that yet?"

"No. And since I value our friendship? I'm never talking to him about it."

* * *

It was the result of that psychologically damaging email proclaiming Karofsky his perfect match, Kurt decided. He was now obsessed with opening every single last email from the site, to make sure he wasn't about to get a private message from say Azmio next. After all he could only take so much therapy.

Of course now he could see that quite possibly the only thing more confusing than having one's childhood bully pop up as a potential match was to see an email proclaiming one's ex as your perfect match. He was halfway convinced that Artie had somehow engineered the whole thing as an elaborate practical joke but his friend's pleading email swearing on his prized Bob Marley vinyl collection he hadn't even _known_ about Kurt's profile until he and Matt started talking on the phone. Kurt was inclined to believe him, but he wasn't fully letting go of the elaborate scheme idea just yet.

He had to admit, Artie did a good job of describing Matt. Alright an _excellent_ job. If it wasn't for Matt's incredible stubbornness, Kurt had no doubt Matt would be able to see a different person every night if he wanted to. Only crazy people would turn down a profile like this. And if the description didn't do it, Artie certainly picked a great picture for Matt's profile shot. Kurt recognized it as one from the end of an impromptu game of touch football over summer break just before Matt left for Spain. Matt had just scored the winning touchdown and had smiled one of his brightest smiles. Long ago Kurt had decided that anyone who wasn't moved by that smile just wasn't human.

It was just coincidence. That's all it was. Matt didn't even want to have an online profile. It had all been Artie's idea. And clearly Matt didn't think anything of the match since he hadn't said a single word about it. Most likely Matt had done the sensible thing and just deleted the notification immediately. After all they were just friends and Kurt had a boyfriend. A long term boyfriend that he loved very much and was very lucky to have.

Which was why he totally should delete this notification from his own inbox. Or at least mention it to Austin. Neither of which Kurt had done yet. He had meant to bring it up. But something else always seemed to get in the way. Or he didn't want to possibly start a fight when clearly he wasn't still interested in Matt. He was only holding on to the notification because he couldn't remember where he had put his copy of that picture and he had always loved it. It was nothing. Absolutely nothing. There was no reason to get Austin all worked up over nothing.

Biting his lip, Kurt clicked the notification closed once again. It was nothing. Just a silly coincidence that one day he and Matt would look back on and laugh over. That's all it was. No more. No less.


	32. Chapter 32

"I've been thinking about something." Austin said haltingly as he pushed around the ridiculously dry chicken around on the plate.

"That coming here was a mistake we should never make again?" Kurt wondered with a sigh. He hadn't actually thought there was a restaurant that was in fact cheesier than Breadsticks with even more unappetizing food, but the movie had let out later than they had expected and O'Malley's Bar and Grill was the only place in town without a two hour wait list. Raph and Stephen swore by it and would probably live off the take out if they could afford it. If this was what they felt was "awesome in all measures", then he really needed to introduce them to a better class of restaurants.

"It's not that bad." Austin protested. "It has its own charm. You just don't like the sports memorabilia and are taking it out on the food." Austin gestured towards the wall behind them with it's rather colorful picture of LeBron James that had been covered with graffiti messages to do things to himself Kurt was sure weren't scientifically possible.

"I am not that petty."

"Yes you are." Austin laughed. "But it's part of your charm."

"It's called taste. And standards. Although I do admit the tribute to futility of professional sports in Ohio is delightfully deviant." He might have a complete disdain for all things athletic, but that didn't mean Kurt was completely ignorant about the woeful state of professional sports around the state. After all, he did live with his father and Finn for several years. Add Matt in there and Kurt sometimes felt he knew more about ESPN than he ever really wanted to know. Even he had to admit the framed newspaper headlines about winless seasons and championship meltdowns were hilarious because they were far too painfully true.

"Is this the return of your jock side I've heard so many rumors about?" Austin teased. "I still think you need to join my intramural team for soccer."

"Get up that early on a Saturday for something other than a sale?" Kurt shot Austin his best "You are insane" look. "I don't think so."

"You'd have fun."

"I think we have different definitions of fun. And I don't think that's what you wanted to talk about." Kurt pointed out before taking a small bite of his chicken. Maybe it wasn't the worst thing he had ever tasted in the world (the brownies Finn made somehow without using a single egg was still number one) but he wasn't going to be sending his compliments to the chef. He'd just not eat it at all, but for all of Austin's nervous fidgeting right now, his boyfriend was keeping one eye on Kurt's plate at all times. If he didn't eat, a fight was sure to break out.

"Yeah. That's true. It's just….." Austin shifted a few times in his seat before blowing out a deep breath. "We've been together awhile now."

"Yeah." Kurt nodded.

"And it's been good. Really good right?"

"Really good." Kurt agreed reaching over to squeeze Austin's hand. "You've been great through this whole eating thing. Other guys would have run and you didn't. You didn't have to stay."

"Of course I did." Austin shrugged. "It's what you do when you love someone. Support them when they are in trouble."

"How did I get lucky enough to find you?"

"You knew your way around the music department." Austin smiled. "Which is why I was thinking, I'm graduating at the end of this year. And you'll be a junior. Some pretty big decisions will have to be made soon about careers and where to live and stuff like that. I'd like to think we're both heading towards big things and we're heading that way together. "

He was going to blame it on far too many girls' nights with Mercedes, Tina, Quinn, Santana, Rachel and Brittany. Far too many hours watching romantic comedies which did nothing but reduce a brain to mush and give a person completely unrealistic ideals or love and romance. (Oh how he had moaned about the fact Lloyd Daubler was a _fictional_ character for years.) Whatever it was, somehow a light bulb went off in his head. Or, to be more accurate, an alarm. A siren screaming it's warning. No. This was not happening now. No. No. This was all wrong.

"Austin? You aren't proposing are you? Please tell me you aren't proposing." Kurt pleaded. "I love you Austin but honestly getting married is a really bad idea. I'm not ready. It will be years before I'm ready for that."

"Kurt? I'm not proposing." Austin shook his head quickly. "Yeah nowhere near ready for that yet. "

"Oh. Yeah this isn't embarrassing at all." Kurt flushed as he looked down at the floor. "I mean not that I've never thought about it or anything. Just in the abstract. Not as a serious possibility. "His eyes widened as he looked up quickly. "Not with anyone. Not just with you. I mean I never really thought about it seriously with anyone. Even Hugh Jackman. Which would be really awkward with his wife and all but still."

"Kurt calm down. It's ok. "Austin laughed. "I've not about it either. But I…I admit my speech might have indicated that was what I was thinking."

"Just…just a little." Kurt let out a strained laugh. "What were you talking about then?"

"I was thinking, well wondering really, if when school started up next month, you'd consider moving in with me instead of living with Raph and Stephen again."

"Oh." It was probably the most inarticulate response he could make, but it was the only thing Kurt could think of to say. He couldn't say he had never imagined living with someone. That would be a lie. But it wasn't exactly Austin he had in that picture. It was more than a little jarring to realize that for whatever reason, the first thought that had run through his mind hadn't been about Austin but Matt. And how this wasn't right because _Matt_ hadn't been the one asking. Dear Gaga, why would he think that? It was absolutely irrational. He and Matt were friends. _Friends._ Austin was his boyfriend. His long term boyfriend.

"I know we've never talked about it." Austin pressed forward in the ensuing silence. "And I know your dad would probably hate it. And if you don't want to I would totally understand. But you're almost always at my place anyway. And really with you not there Stephen and Raph would have no choice but to actually deal with the fact they have feelings for each other which is such a plus. It just...it seems like this is the next step. The right step to take. "

Everything Austin was saying made perfect sense. It was all true. Kurt really couldn't argue with any of his reasoning. And Austin's apartment was actually closer to the building where his classes were than the pink house. Plus if he agreed now, if Stephen and Raph insisted on being stupid, they would have time to find a third roommate. It just didn't _feel _right. And the reason it didn't feel right wasn't something Austin wanted or needed to hear.

"I'm…..I think I'm just surprised." Kurt managed. "I wasn't expecting this at all tonight."

"This isn't exactly how I planned to do this but I needed to ask you."

"I just…I just need some time to think about this. Ok?" To think about it and to get rid of this nagging notion that it should be Matt sitting across from him right now with a hopeful look on his face. He thought he was past this. Years past this. He couldn't go forward with Austin until he figured out what was going on with this feeling.

"Yeah. Yeah. I get that. Time. It's a big decision. You have to think it over. I understand that. Just…just don't take too long? Ok?"

"Ok. I won't take too long."


	33. Chapter 33

**I know the name of the theater looks like I'm being lazy but I'm not. It really is called this!**

It felt slightly to be sitting in the Ohio Theater, watching his best friend since the second grade up on the stage, doing what he loved to do. Matt smiled as Mike twirled the girl playing Amber away from Tracy and Link. At one point, he would have sworn he never ever wanted to see _Hairspray_ again in his life. It seemed every time New Directions decided to have a movie night, eventually they would watch that movie. (The fact Cyclops played Corny was the movie's only saving grace as far as Matt was concerned.) But if Mike wanted him to see every performance of his two week stop in Columbus? Matt would be there every night to cheer on his best friend.

He and Leah exchanged identical goofy proud grins as the music began to swell to the finale's climax. Mike flew across the stage while "You Can't Stop the Beat" kept increasing it's tempo, making Matt tired just from watching them. He had always known his best friend was talented, but seeing him on stage like this, it just brought it home on a whole other level. Even reading the name Michael Chang in the playbill with it's microscopic resume and the characteristically short thank you to his "loved ones for all their support" hadn't made it seem quite real. But now there was no denying it. His best friend was going to make it bigger than any of them had ever dreamed of making it.

The applause rose to thunderous levels as the opening night crowd rose to it's feet. Mike had complained to Matt that he didn't actually feel he deserved the standing ovations the show got night after night. He knew there were things the cast had missed, things they could have done better. Matt fully intended when they got backstage to not leave until Mike was convinced he had earned it this night. The house lights had barely come up in the theater, but Leah and Matt quickly grabbed their belongings and made their way towards the edge of the stage. Mike had left their names with the stage manager so they could get backstage but Matt didn't want some hysterical tween attempting to meet Link to piss off the stage manager to the point no one was getting back.

As it was, he was paranoid for nothing. As usual. The heavy set man grunted when Leah gave him their names and gave them what passed for the most confusing set of directions in order to get to the common area the chorus dancers called their dressing room. "Did you understand any of that?" Matt whispered to his sister as soon as he thought they were out of ear shot of the seriously scary looking stage manager.

Leah shot him a look of absolute bafflement. "Ok weren't you in show choir in high school? Weren't you like always backstage for contests and stuff?" She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Of course I understood it. What kind of wannabe drama teacher would I be if didn't?"

"A worse one than Mr. Ryerson." Matt admitted. "And in my defense, we were generally still coming up with what we were going to perform when we were backstage. The whole learning where everything was thing wasn't that important."

"Relax Captain Worrywart. I've so got this handled." Leah grabbed his hand and started down through the twisting turns of backstage, not stopping until she found a door decorated with a handmade sign that read simply "The Cattle". Grinning she knocked quickly, before shooting Matt a wink. "Just to be clear here, you are aware there is a reason for the gay male dancer stereotype right?"

Matt rolled his eyes. "I should just let you walk home from here."

"And then when my raped and mutilated body is fodder for those crime shows you love? You'll regret when you're the prime suspect." Leah nodded sagely as the door opened; revealing a girl Matt was going to guess was no more than 18 at the most. "Hi. We're friends of Mike Chang's? He told us to meet him back here?"

"Yes. Mikey totally mentioned he had friends coming." The willowy redhead smiled brightly beckoning them to come in before calling over her shoulder. "Mikey! Get your pants on! Visitors!"

Leah and Matt exchanged glances, both mouthing out "_Mikey?", _before Mike emerged from the throng his usual cheery grin even wider than the day Mercedes agreed to wear his class ring senior year. "Leah! Matt! "He managed to pull both of them into a tight embrace before leaning back on his heels. "It's good to see you guys."

"You too Twinkle Toes." Leah said sweetly. Matt fought back the urge to laugh as Mike's eyes darkened at the laugh that went around the room as Leah's longstanding nickname flew across the room in a barely concealed whisper. What exactly had Mike expected, Matt wondered. For Leah to actually behave? His best friend had been away for far too long if he thought that was going to happen.

"Thanks so much for that Leah. Really."

"You're welcome." Leah slapped Mike's shoulder. "You did great tonight. I am so proud of you."

"It's just a chorus part." Mike looked down at his feet.

"In a major tour." Matt pointed out, putting his arm around Mike's shoulder. "It's a lot bigger than anything anybody else has done so far. I mean come on dude. Everyone who can get to Ohio this week is coming to see you."

It was the truth. Susan and Jim were coming down in two days to see the Friday show. Puck, Finn, Kurt and their parents had planned to come in Saturday. Santana and Brittany couldn't make it up this weekend but had tickets for later in the week. Mercedes, Artie, Quinn and Tina had all begged for bootlegged copies of the show and promised when he came through their cities they would be there opening night. Mr. and Mrs. Schue were coming to the Sunday show. Even Rachel had promised to see it when Mike was closer to New York.

"Whatever." Mike shrugged off Matt's arm with his usual grace. "Right now I'm starving. And I'm depending on you two to show me where food is good and cheap."

"We are the experts on the cheap part." Matt joked. "Good only applies if Leah isn't cooking."

"Hey!" Leah protested as the two best friends laughed at her expense. "I'm better than you."

"Mikey! Did I hear you say you were leaving?" A lanky brown hair man close to Matt's age slid up to their little group, a teasing smile on his lips reaching up to his green eyes. "You're going to abandon the Ramen for real food? I'm so hurt."

"I told you this week was homecoming." Mike laughed. "But you're welcome to crash if you want. Matt and Leah won't mind will you?"

"Nope." Leah shook her head. "I could use the help. These two tend to gang up on me."

"Well then it's official. I have to come." The stranger gave an exaggerated wink to Leah before bowing a little. "Of course I do need to know your name fair lady."

"Leah. And that's my brother Matt. They've been friends forever."

"Lucas. Lucas McKean, pleased to finally make your acquaintance. I feel all Mike's been talking about for the past month is the two of you." Lucas turned to Matt with a smile. "Well more you than your sister to be honest."

Matt shot a glance over at Mike, who suddenly developed a strange fascination on the wall behind Leah. "Did he now?" he asked slowly, a suspicion creeping into his mind. "Lee, why don't you and Lucas head on out? I need to talk to Mike alone for a minute. Take the car. It's not that long of a walk from here."

"Ok, but I'm only giving you guys two passes of the waiter before we're ordering and you two starve to death." Leah warned as she took Lucas's hand in her's. "Trust me. That will work better than any threat I could be able to come up with. "

Matt waited to see Leah and Lucas slip out the door before turning to his so-called best friend. "Mike? Why do I think you're up to something?"

"Because you are entirely too suspicious and cynical of human nature?"

"Or because I know you. Why would you be talking about me more than Leah to your roommate?"

"You're my best friend dude. I can't talk about my best friend?"

"Sure you can. I just question it when you suddenly attempt to bore a hole in the wall when he mentions it." Matt crossed his arms. "You don't do a Cyclops impression for no reason."

"You've hung out with Artie recently." Mike guessed. "Your nerd references are always a little more plentiful after you two get together."

"Nice try on evasion. Too bad you suck at it dude."

"Ok fine. Lucas and his boyfriend broke up a couple of months ago and I was just thinking…"

"Oh. Oh. No. No. You are not doing this set up thing." Matt shook his head. "No. You know how I feel about blind dates."

"Yeah. And you're stupid and wrong. And it's not a date. It's just meeting the guy and seeing what could happen. Lucas is a good guy and I think you both would get along. If nothing sparks you or whatever, he leaves in two weeks. It's called a fling dude. "

"I don't do flings."

"No you've never done a fling." Mike corrected. "You've been a serial monogamist and that's cool. Whatever. I'm just asking you to meet a great guy. Maybe flirt a little. Trust me Lucas is not going to leave the tour and move in with you or anything. Just have dinner with him, with the rest of us there and see what happens."

"You couldn't have just asked if your roommate could come with when I talked to you last night?"

"No because then you would be suspicious I was up to something."

"You were up to something."

"Well yeah but you didn't need to know that." Mike slung his arm over Matt's shoulder. "Let's just go to dinner. At least give me a chance to prove to you all blind dates are bad."

"And if he happens to be a serial killer?"

"Well I'm the one who lives with him, so obviously I'll be killed first."

"Yeah. I guess that would make it fair."


	34. Chapter 34

"That's it. I'm done. I'm out." Mike groaned as he leaned back in his chair, tossing his cell phone on the restaurant's table. Quinn raised an eyebrow delicately, while her boyfriend Michael Casiello merely continued to enjoy his dinner. As it was Mike Chang was one of the last of Quinn's friends from high school he just had to meet and if this was all the drama he was going to bring to dinner, then he was Michael's favorite by far.

"Matt or Mercedes?" Quinn questioned before turning to explain to Michael. "They are the only two who can get the famously calm Mike Chang to lose his cool completely."

"I am not losing my cool." Mike huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "This is all your problem now. I'm through with meddling in other people's love lives."

"Matt." Quinn guessed, taking Mike's eye roll as confirmation she was right. "What did you do and how did it blow up in your face this time?"

"Don't say it like I have a pattern of this stuff." Mike complained. "You're making me look bad."

"You do have a pattern of this." Quinn pointed out with a roll of her eyes before turning to her boyfriend. "I did tell you about his brilliant plan to ambush Matt with Kurt while completing ignoring the fact they were both dating other people at the time didn't I?"

Michael winced. "Yeah I have to be honest. That doesn't exactly help your case. Not even the slightest bit. "

"I should have known better than to hang out with two wannabe lawyers." Mike sighed. "Ok that wasn't my finest hour but in my defense, Mercedes helped with that."

"And wasn't it _you_ who was pushing the whole Spain thing in the first place? And we all know what the outcome of _that_ was."

"Mr. Schue asked me to help convince Matt to at least consider it. I'm not psychic."

"Still it does make you look like you have a pattern here." Michael pointed out with a smile. "And from an outsider's perspective, it's not a good pattern."

"I haven't decided if I like you yet. Don't be taking her side." Mike waved his finger in the other man's face.

"I like him. That's all that matters." Quinn leaned over to kiss Michael quickly before turning her attention back to Mike. "Just tell me what Matt did. Then I can tell you if you actually were at fault here or not."

Mike sighed, rubbing his right temple with the palm of his hand. He swore, one day, his best friend was going to cause him migraines at the very least. "Alright so just before we left for the tour, my roommate Lucas broke up with his boyfriend. And he did the whole depressed thing and everything but by the time we were getting close to Columbus he seemed ready to meet someone. So I thought…"

"That you would set your best friend up with your roommate that would only be in town for a week?" Quinn finished quickly with a groan. "Mike, how on Earth did you think that was going to work?"

"Ok first off, they are both great guys with a lot in common. I actually thought a lot about it before I even considered introducing them. And secondly, Lucas isn't looking for a relationship and Matt keeps saying he's not. So I thought they would meet and probably hit it off. Go out a few times while we were in town for two weeks. Then Lucas might feel ready to get back out there and make a move on the swing understudy he keeps flirting with and Matt gets some practice in casual dating which he desperately needs since I think the last date he had that didn't lead to a relationship was Brittany. "

"Hey Matt and I had that coffee date long after the Brittany thing." Quinn protested.

"Neither one of you count that. And really? You want to be the last girl Matt dated while he tried to be straight?"

"It's just wrong that Brittany's name appears on that list twice."

"Twice?" Michael questioned. "I think there's a story involved in that one."

"Next time we meet up with Kurt, I'll make sure to tell you all about it." Quinn promised, squeezing his hand. "It's a lot more fun to tell with him blushing the entire time and protesting that I'm exaggerating."

"I'll hold you to that." Michael smiled before turning his own attention back to Mike. "So it sounds like you did think this idea through."

"Thank you. I'm now leaning closer to liking you. "Mike nodded. "So yeah. I was thinking at the most it would be a fling. You know something people have every once in a while. But apparently Matt doesn't understand this concept. Because he and Lucas spent the entire night barely talking to each other. In fact I think Leah did more flirting with Lucas than Matt did and now? Now, they're becoming friends. And they are apparently bonding over harassing me via Facebook."

"You kind of deserve that." Quinn laughed. "Why on Earth would you think _Matt_ of all people would have a fling? He barely flirted with anyone when he was running all over Europe. And that was when the guy he was still in love with was going on non-blind dates. If he wasn't going to do a fling then? Not going to happen now."

"I want to see him happy. And you know that no one gets in his own way for happiness better than Matt." Mike pointed out. "He's miserable when he's alone. Even if he doesn't admit it. He's a worse hermit than normal."

"There is something seriously wrong with the phrase 'worse hermit than normal'. If I hadn't of met Matt I would be deeply concerned about him." Michael pointed out. "And maybe your matchmaking didn't work out because he's interested in someone else."

Quinn laughed lightly at his suggestion. "Darling, the only other guy Matt's remotely interested in is currently mulling over an offer to move in with his boyfriend. And Matt will do nothing about that. As much as I adore Matt, his noble streak drives me insane."

"Wait. Austin asked Kurt to move in?" Mike questioned holding up his hand. "When did this happen and why am I hearing about now from you and not him?"

"Because I wasn't supposed to tell anyone." Quinn looked down at her hand guiltily. "He swore Mercedes and me to secrecy. I don't think Matt knows about it at all, but even if he did we both know he wouldn't do anything."

"Do you think he will? I mean move in. That's kind of serious."

"Mike, they've been together since freshman year. That's longer than most of us. Except for you and Mercedes. It's not that out there. And really, with the way we all try to manage their love lives, I'm more than a little surprised Kurt and Matt talk to us at all."

"We don't try to manage their love lives." Mike protested.

Michael cocked up an eyebrow. "I know I'm the new guy in all this but even I can tell every last one of you do exactly that. When I met them? I think half of the stories they had involved some failed plot to get them back together. "

"Matt only has that online profile because of Artie. We started a Facebook group to get Matt to change his relationship status. Neither one of them talked to any of us for two weeks after we noticed they were talking more on Facebook. None of us really know Austin and we called Geoffrey the clone. "Quinn shrugged her shoulders, causing her blonde hair to fall forward. "You're complaining because Matt's not dating the way you want him to. I hate to admit it but we're acting like Rachel before a competition."

Mike hadn't really stopped to think about it, but now that Quinn listed it all out, it didn't exactly sound all that great. And that was just the stuff Quinn knew about. Mike was quite sure Mercedes had a few quilt trips in there as well. And Artie had recently started posting up You Tube videos that were messages to Matt under the guise of relationship advice video blogs. Leah had whispered to him that even though Matt had never confirmed it, she was pretty sure the constant presence of Kurt was a reason why Geoffrey left. It really was a wonder why either one of them still talked to any of them.

"Maybe we have been going overboard. Just a little." Mike admitted.

"Yeah. Just a tiny bit." Quinn laughed. "Maybe we should let them handle their own lives? They can't screw it up anymore than we already have right?"

"I'm thinking that might be hard for them to actually accomplish."


	35. Chapter 35

As a general rule, Kurt loved October. The autumnal colors were always gorgeous and worked fabulously with his complexion. (The same could also be said for spring and he certainly rocked both seasons as fiercely as he could) The changing temperatures allowed for the maximum variety of outfits and layers. Not to mention the chillier nights were perfect for things such as drinking hot chocolate and cuddling by the fireplace if one was so lucky as to have a fireplace. Kurt made a mental note the next place he lived was going to have a fireplace.

And it was becoming very clear to him the next place he was going to live wasn't going to be with Austin. He had gone over every pro and every con at least three times a day since Austin had initially asked him. Which, at this point, was a little over a month ago. Even when he tried to make himself say yes, Kurt couldn't do it. The answer was always no.

Of course while mentally he could say no, it was a completely different ballgame to actually tell Austin it wasn't going to happen. He tried. Well maybe_ tried_ to try was a better phrase. It wasn't because the topic hadn't come up the entire month. It had. Multiple times. It was just every time the subject would come up, Austin would get this hopeful, puppy dog look in his eyes and Kurt could feel his resolve to tell him no crumble. He just couldn't kill the hope in those eyes. Especially when it seemed his reasons for saying no were entirely wrapped up in his apparently not-so-forgotten high school daydreams about his future with Matt. A fact Kurt was going to chalk up to his therapy and all the constant discussion of his growing up and his need for control. With the constant reliving of his past in order to understand and help his present, it was only normal for him to experience some previously resolved feelings. At least that was what his therapist had explained to him. It was why he had been advised to not make any major life changes for at least a year after starting therapy.

And while that sound good and reasonable in the context of a therapy session, using it as a reason to not move in with your boyfriend apparently wasn't a good idea. Even when the boyfriend was as supportive as Austin was.

"_You know I don't want to jeopardize your recovery Kurt, but that sounds like a convenient excuse to me. It makes sense when you start therapy sure, but you've almost been in it for a year already. And I'm thinking if I asked you in January, you still would hem and haw. This shouldn't be this difficult of a decision."_

Austin was right. Kurt knew he was right. And Kurt also had the feeling once he finally said no, that was it. He and Austin were over. That was the real reason Kurt was dragging his feet on rejecting the idea of moving in together. As much as he didn't want to move in with Austin, he also didn't want to lose him over this. He just needed to figure out a way to tell Austin no without losing the relationship. Granted it probably would have worked better if he had just said no instead of asking for time to think about it, but no one had ever said Kurt Hummel took the easy way in life. Apparently if there was a hard path, he was destined to find it.

The familiar theme from Firefly thrilled from his cell phone, causing Kurt to smile. "Hey Matt." He answered, trying to keep his current anxiety out of his tone. Matt had always been able to pick up on his slightest verbal cues in seconds and was even better at now that he actually studied human relations. "What's going on?"

"Not much. I was just going to tell you about the latest video Artie sent me. But it sounds like something's going on with you. Everything ok?"

Kurt shook his head, trying to suppress a chuckle at his thought coming true. "Everything's fine. "

"You don't sound fine." Matt responded back skeptically. Kurt could see him lean back wherever he was and cross his arms in front of him, tilting his head to the side. "Is something going on?"

"Nothing that isn't drama of my own making. This means I can handle it and it has nothing to do with me not eating so get that thought out of your head right now."

"I wasn't thinking that."

"Yes you were." Kurt countered easily.

"Maybe I wondered it for a quick second." Matt allowed. "But I am well aware that you are capable of creating drama in all sorts of arenas that have nothing to do with eating. Better?"

"Better." Kurt agreed warmly. "It's just…..I need to tell someone something they aren't going to want to hear. And when I say it, I'm pretty sure that will be it for us. And if I said this earlier I probably could have avoided all of this but I didn't and here I am."

"Wow." Matt whistled softly. "That's a whole lot of vague for me to work with."

"Well that's because I wasn't asking you to work with it. Honestly Matt, I can handle this. I just need to do it and stop dragging my feet."

"Can I make a suggestion?"

"So long as you realize it may not be appropriate at all."

"Oh yeah. I get that. Speaking from experience, it generally goes better when you're telling someone something they don't want to hear, if you have a plan. In this case, spontaneous sucks. Bites you in the ass every time. Have. A. Plan."

"And just how did you get this experience Oh Wise One?" Kurt teased.

"Watching television." Matt deadpanned before a tell-tale beep cut through the line. "Hold on. We're not done vaguely talking about this."

"Yes sir." Kurt laughed as Matt switched lines. With a sigh, he looked down at the blank sheet of paper in front of him. It was supposed to be used to complete some initial sketches in his theatrical design class (he had been fortunate to have drawn _West Side Story_ and was working with actual people than his poor classmate that had drawn _Shrek_) but as he picked up his pencil, he started to draft one of the hardest speeches he would ever have to give in his life.

He had barely finished writing "_Austin, I know I should have said something…." _when Matt clicked back over. "Who was that?" Kurt teased. "Your new boyfriend you don't want everyone to know about?"

The shaky intake of breath that greeted his joke instead of Matt's usual laughing no was cause for alarm. "What happened? " Kurt asked. "And don't tell me nothing."

"That was….they said….Leah." Matt rambled, not able to finish a sentence. Kurt didn't have to see him to know Matt was close to tears. He had only heard Matt sound like this once. The day he left home.

"Matt." Kurt said softly. "Take a deep breath and start again. What happened and what does Leah have to do with it?"

"That…that was the police. Leah was in an accident. They're taking her to OSU's Medical Center." Matt managed to get out. "They wouldn't tell me anything. So it's not good. It's not good."

"Oh Matt." Kurt sighed, closing his eyes. Of all the people to be hurt in this world, it would have to be the only family Matt still had. Everything could be fine, but the police calling and not Leah was not a good sign. He watched enough hospital dramas over the years to know that much. "How far away are you from the hospital?"

"I'm at the apartment. It's a couple of miles."

"You shouldn't drive. Is there anyone you can call to take you there?"

"Clara. She's doing one of her clinical there."

"Good. Hang up and call her. I'll call the Changs and everyone else on the phone tree. You won't be there an hour before someone from home is sitting with you, ok?"

"Ok." The two letters were so soft and broken Kurt had to strain to hear them.

"Matt, she's going to be ok. She's too damn stubborn not to be. Get to the hospital and find out all the facts. I promise you she's going to be ok."

"Alright. Alright." Matt took a deep breath. "I need to go. I need to get there and I need to see her."

"Go. I will take care of everything else. She'll be fine."

"God I hope you're right." Matt sighed as he hung up.

Kurt stared at the phone in his hand. If he believed in a higher power, this would have been the perfect time for prayer. But as it was, he sent out all his positive thoughts to Leah and Matt. He stood up from the table, racing up the stairs towards his room. He had no doubt Susan Chang would be in the car before he finished telling her what had happened. Still right now Matt needed all the support he could get.

And his phone worked perfectly well from the car.


	36. Chapter 36

**Well my darling readers...this is the last update for this week...being Christmas and all. So if you celebrate...have a Merry one. If not I hope you have a great weekend and you miss me as much as I miss you.**

The words on the former were most likely in English, Matt reasoned as he blinked his eyes in an attempt to focus on the task at hand. They only looked to be in French because he was too busy freaking out. The nurse hadn't really given him the admission form in French to complete. Maybe it had been a bad idea to insist Clara go on to her clinical six floors above him. If she was here, she could at least help him figure out what exactly the form was asking, while smothering him to death at the same time.

She had offered to stay at least a dozen times since he had called her. He had refused her every offer. It was sweet but he wasn't about to let her endanger her standing in the nursing program just because he couldn't pull it together enough to read a stupid form. A form that was rather redundant considering the hospital already had most of Leah's information from her driver's license and her phone. All this was for was insurance.

Matt groaned as he closed his eyes. _Insurance_. Leah had rather expensive COBRA insurance since her graduation but Matt knew that covered barely anything. Since she never really did get sick and of the two of them, he was the more likely one to break a bone (Growing up, if the smallest patch of ice formed on the ground, he would find it and inevitably fall) Leah had insisted the skimpy policy she had selected would be just fine until she found a full time position. And now, this happened. He still wasn't sure what exactly was going on. The nurse had just told him to fill out the form and someone would be by to talk with him shortly. That was almost an hour and half ago.

Chewing his bottom lip, he considered pulling out the student insurance card in his own wallet. He was an OSU student after all. He and Leah had the same last name. People could just assume they were married. Or there was a glitch in the computer system pulling up Leah's name instead of his. Computer screw ups happened all the time. After all, some computer had assigned their father's name to their address and they got mail saying he was pre-approved for various credit cards all the time. And by the time it was all straightened out, clearly Leah would be fine and working and could afford to pay the bills.

He was seriously close to losing it if he was honestly considering committing insurance fraud here. All he wanted to do was go behind the magical doors marked AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY, see his sister, make sure she was really was going to be fine and then sleep for a million years. He didn't want to have to worry about insurance forms and medical authorizations for surgery and liability. All he wanted to do was see his sister. An emotion he hadn't felt in years washed over him as Matt closed his eyes to keep the frustrated tears back.

He wanted his mom.

"Matt?"

Looking up, Matt couldn't help the confused look that crossed his features. It had to be a hallucination. The longing for home combined with the fact Kurt was the last person he talked to on the phone. That was all it was. There was no way Kurt was actually sitting down next to him right now and taking the clipboard from his hands.

"Insurance paperwork. I never have understood how they expect people to remember things like policy numbers when they are freaking out over potential life and death matters." Kurt's eyes widened in alarm. "Not that this is a life and death matter. Leah is probably back there and hitting on every doctor in a five mile radius. She's ok right?"

"I….I don't know. They haven't told me anything yet other than she's here." Matt shook his head. "What are you doing here?"

Kurt shrugged as he began moving the pen across the form, obviously filling in information he knew from memory. "I told you someone would be there with you. I figured you would chase off your OSU friends within minutes since they don't have near the experience the rest of us do when you're lying about being fine."

"But…you?"

"The Changs were in Indianapolis. Although Susan promised me they were leaving by the time I hung up with her. Britt and Santana are out of state for the big UC game this weekend. Mike's tour is in Washington state. Finn is on his way but won't be here for hours, plus you know him and directions. Puck will probably show up tomorrow when he gets the voice mail I left. Artie, Tina, Mercedes, Quinn and Rachel have probably blown up your phone right now with all the messages they've been leaving. "

Instinctively, Matt reached to the back pocket where he usually kept his phone, wincing when he felt nothing. "I must have left it at the apartment."

"Which is what I figured. You probably almost left your keys behind as well."

A humorless chuckle dropped from Matt's lips as he remembered Clara telling him "Keys!" as he went to close the door behind them. "Yeah. That's true."

"You needed someone and I came. We're friends right? It's what friends do." Kurt shrugged.

"And filling out her paperwork?"

"Because I'm pretty sure you can't remember your own name and you screw up her birthday on a good day." Kurt smiled.

"But you don't know any of her insurance information…."

"And I doubt you know it by heart either." Kurt said gently. "Besides the great thing about hospitals is they'll treat you and let you fill in this stuff later. Especially if a great performer like myself gives a tragic story of two siblings who only have each other in the world to rely on and how you're so traumatized by the horrible flashbacks you're having of the accident that took your own parents you are dangerously close to needing to be admitted to the psychiatric ward and won't the nurse please have pity just this once and allow you to bring the insurance card with you later on when you are thinking more clearly."

"Please tell me that speech isn't the result of a Rachel planning songs to sing if Finn was in a coma type plan."

"No. It's a very boring drive between here and Bowling Green." Kurt assured him. "Now I've filled this form out as far as I can so now I'm going to go see if the desk nurse is as easily swayed by pretty tears as she looks."

Matt reached out and grabbed Kurt's hand before the other boy could actually start towards the desk. Turning around, Kurt met Matt's eyes with a questioning look. "Yes?"

"Just…thank you."

"Save that for when we get back to see Leah."


	37. Chapter 37

She didn't care if technically she wasn't family. As she had told the little girl at the front desk who didn't look old enough to be in high school, much less sitting behind the desk of a nurse's station at a major hospital, the only reason Matt and Leah Rutherford weren't legally her children was because they were both too stubborn to even allow her to broach the subject with them. And right now, her children needed her to be in that hospital room and that was where Susan Chang was going to be.

Jim had insisted on heading over to the tiny apartment Matt and Leah insisted on calling home. He had to make the actually valid point that both of the kids hadn't been home since the accident and it was probably a good idea to at least pick up the mail and turn on a light or two. After all, Jim had smiled at her as he squeezed her hand; she _was_ the one who read him that article about thieves reading accident reports and obituaries to find out when people would be away from the home. And then he had said something about one of them hovering in the room was probably more than enough but she was going to ignore that remark right now. She wasn't going to hover. She was going to be useful and make sure these impossibly young doctors (Did she wander onto the children's floor instead of the fifth floor?) actually knew what they were talking about.

Leah might not have spent more than a few weekends under the Chang roof, but she was just as much a part of the family as Matt was. The younger woman rarely went more than a few days without calling to check on her brother at first, but over the years Susan had grown to love Leah as much as she would have her own daughter. It wasn't Christmas if Leah wasn't downstairs throwing used wrapping paper at Matt and Mike and Susan began to worry if Leah didn't call every few days just to say hi and catch up. Secretly she had been hoping Leah would actually apply to work at McKinley and come home. Not only was Susan positive she would be a wonderful teacher, it would have the additional benefit of encouraging Matt to come home more often.

Susan made her way through the darkened, twisting hallway determined not to stop again and ask for directions a second time. In the first place she really didn't feel like going over the same argument about visiting hours and family only policy for a second time. And secondly, she was convinced all hospitals were designed purposefully to make a person feel like they were going around in endless circles. Honestly, she thought as she strode past what she would swear was the exact same picture by the elevator doors; would it actually kill them to at least make the decorations cheerful instead of dreary?

The number 542 flashed by the corner of her eye. She stopped suddenly, glad no one was following too closely behind her or there would have been a rather embarrassing pile up in the hallway right now. 542. That was the number she had finally managed to weasel out of that little unhelpful girl a few floors down. Leah's room. Susan took a deep breath before pushing open the door slightly.

She reviewed all the information she had. Leah had been in a car accident and had been rushed to the hospital. From what Kurt had been able to tell, Leah was going to be ok. The injuries were all temporary and were expected to heal. It looked a lot worse than it actually was, Kurt had insisted. Of course at that point, Susan wasn't entirely sure who Kurt was trying to calm down more, herself or Matt.

The light from the muted TV was the only light in the room, casting the room in a bluish tint. Susan stifled her instinct to gasp as she first focused on the hard plaster now covering Leah's left leg. The right leg currently was held stable by a soft nylon cast but that was apparently only temporary. Susan could remember something about a surgery being schedule but right now she couldn't remember a word Kurt had told her. Leah's arms were bandaged and bruised. Although it was hard to tell in the faint light, she thought she could make out the unmistakable beginning of a black eye developing under Leah's left eye. It wouldn't really surprise her to discover there was a broken nose going on as well.

"Oh Leah" Susan murmured quietly as she took a tiny step further into the room. "Oh you poor thing."

"Susan?" Kurt's voice, groggy with sleep, caused Susan to turn around. She had missed the small, uncomfortable looking couch set up just out of her eyesight. She motioned for him to keep his voice down when she caught sight of Matt sleeping with his head in Kurt's lap, his feet stretched out over the end of the couch. Kurt's arm was draped over Matt's still form, their hands joined in front of Matt. Kurt blinked a few times as he nodded his understanding of her request, looking down at Matt; a soft smile on his face.

It wasn't the time or the place, but someday soon she was going to sit down and have a long talk with Matthew about all this foolishness regarding being just friends with Kurt. Honestly, what on Earth were they thinking?

"I didn't think he'd actually sleep." She whispered, carefully perching on the edge of Leah's bed in an attempt to not jostle the injured girl.

"I think he just exhausted himself into it." Kurt admitted. "I don't think he believes she's actually going to be ok."

Susan nodded grimly. She knew the same thing logically but it was hard to reconcile that when she saw Leah lying there bruised and broken. "Did he at least get to talk to her before she passed out?"

Kurt shook his head. "No. She was pretty much out of it by the time we got back here. Maybe if he did, he'd feel better but I doubt it."

"There's always tomorrow then. If anyone can convince Matthew he's worrying too much it's our girl here."

"Exactly. I just hope they talk before her surgery. I don't want to think about what a basket case he'll be if that doesn't happen."

"So the surgery is tomorrow then?"

Kurt shrugged. "Supposed to be. I think they said around ten? I could be wrong. There were a lot of numbers and information floating around at that point."

"So how exactly did you manage to convince the staff to let both of you stay back here?" Susan questioned. "I nearly had to threaten to sue the entire hospital before they would give me a room number."

"Carole has taught me a few things over the years, one of the most important being how to pick the easy mark on the shift. Of course she denies that's her when she's working but still."

"I have a feeling Nurse Hummel is very much the easiest mark in the entire hospital." Susan chuckled quietly. "Jim's at their apartment if you want to get some real sleep. I'll stay here with him."

Kurt looked down at Matt once again, smiling softly. "I think I'll just stay here for now."

Yes, Susan thought as she nodded knowingly, as soon as all this was over, she and Matthew were going to have a _long_ talk.


	38. Chapter 38

"Seriously. You need to go home." Leah protested from her hospital bed, shoving Matt's hands away from her. "You're driving me crazy and honestly you're starting to stink up the joint. Showers are your friend Matt. I swear."

"Take your own advice there Leah." Matt shot back. "It's been what? Two days now? How are you going to land a hot doctor if you smell like road kill?"

"My natural charm, wit and wisdom." Leah nodded, her face serious but her eyes twinkling. "And the fact you didn't go through with your dumb idea to pass me off as your _wife_ helps tremendously."

"I knew it was a mistake to tell you that." Matt groaned. "How much longer are you going to make fun of me for an admittedly stupid lapse in judgment?"

"I don't know. How long are you planning on living? Cause, I got to be honest, I could run with this one for the next seventy, eighty years."

"You know one day our positions are going to be reversed and then I'm going to laugh at the stupid things you think of when you're the one waiting to find out what the hell is going on."

"Now Matty we both know that's not going to happen because if you're ever in this uncomfortable position, I think we both know I'm not going to be the first one to the hospital."

"We're not getting into this again Lee." Matt rolled his eyes. He should have known she wouldn't let this drop. Leave it to his sister to be sitting in a hospital bed with two broken legs, a steel rod in one in the right leg, what Puck deemed a "badass black eye like from a chick boxing match", her arms cut to hell and bills out the ear for it all to be more concerned about his completely platonic relationship with his ex, who still had a boyfriend.

"No you said we weren't getting into this. I don't recall making such a promise. And if I did? I was on drugs so it doesn't count." Leah waved her hand as best she could. "He drove all the way down here just to sit with you, beat everyone here and you're seriously going to sit there and continue with this blatant lie you tell yourself that you are just friends?"

"It's not a lie. He got here first because he was the closest one to here and I was talking to him when the police called me."

"You were giving him relationship advice. _Relationship advice_. Probably for his boyfriend."

"I never said that." Matt pointed out. "Who said I was giving him relationship advice?"

"I talked to Kurt." Leah shrugged as best she could. "From the vagueness of his answers, it could have only been you were giving him relationship advice on his boyfriend. Come on Matt! How can you hope to be a therapist if you have absolutely no ability to read between the lines?"

"Well thank God I have you apparently." Matt deadpanned.

"Really. You should count your blessings." Leah continued, either choosing to ignore his sarcasm or pretending he was being serious. It was a tossup which it actually was. "Dumbass he was telling you he was about to break up with Austin. Or Austin was going to break up with him. But either way, you totally missed the message."

"What? He wasn't telling me that." Matt sputtered. That couldn't have been what they had been talking about. It couldn't have been. "Austin and Kurt are fine. They're great. Where are you getting that?"

"If they were so great, Kurt wouldn't be stalling on giving Austin an answer on moving in with him. And for the record, that question was asked two months ago. Even you Mr. Patience would be pissed off about something like that."

"Kurt told you Austin asked him to move in?" Matt felt the need to ask. Was that true? Was that what Kurt had been referring to? Was telling Austin no what he had been putting off for too long? Shit, was Leah right and he actually had been advising Kurt on how to break up with his boyfriend? When did this become hi s life?

"No. But he told Mercedes and Quinn, who told Mike. And Mike told me. So Kurt might as well have told me." Leah explained. "And this is me telling you that you need to get your head out of your ass and deal with whatever it is between you and Kurt for once and for all. Now."

"Now?"

"Well ok maybe now would be a bad time but the second we know for sure Austin isn't in the picture. Then. I will kick your ass if you don't and now that I have these casts? That's going to some serious damage."

"Look Kurt and I are just friends."

"Oh my God. Denial is so not just a river in Egypt with you is it?" Leah groaned. "Come on Matty, there are not that many painkillers in the world to make my annoyance with that lie go away."

"Regardless, we are just starting to get our friendship back on track here. And you really think having a hypothetical discussion about feeling that could hypothetically still be there is a good idea to have after a very real break up?"

"Oh so we've move the feelings up from non-existent to hypothetical?" Leah's eyes brightened as she clapped her hands together. "That's progress!"

"That's called feeling pity for the person with two casts on their legs."

"Oh you never pity me, so don't even try that nonsense."

"Whatever. Look I'm grateful Kurt came down and helped me with all this mess you got yourself into. But we're friends and whatever else may or may not be going on? Talking with him about it after a break up is like a Finn level of a bad idea. Or following Artie and Puck's romantic advice bad idea. Break ups suck and a person needs to get through them without other people messing it all up."

"AGGGH" Leah groaned, leaning back against the flat pillow behind her. "I hate it when your over-developed noble streak actually makes a good point."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, once the lease is up? You'll never have to experience it again." Matt tried to make a joke about it but the truth was he was dreading the coming August. Leah was moving back to Lima and in with the Changs. Her application to work at McKinley had already been sent off. It was probably only a matter of days before she heard back from the school board. After the past three years of living out of each other's back pocket, Leah was leaving. And he was going to move in with Terry and Clara.

"Oh please. Like we won't have this exact same discussion over the phone and on Skype?" Leah rolled her eyes. "Have you forgotten high school already?"

"Someone here won't let me forget high school."

"Well someone here is still hung up on their high school sweetheart and therefore shouldn't forget about it." Leah smiled. "You aren't getting rid of me that easily. I can nag like nobody's business across phone lines."

"I won't answer."

"I'll Skype."

"I'll disconnect the camera."

"Email."

"Won't answer it."

"Facebook."

"Block you."

"Then I guess I'll just have to quit my job and stalk you full time. Cause it's oh so much fun to do now."

"I think I'd hear you coming there Plaster."

"These are temporary" Leah smiled as she gestured to her legs. "Me being a thorn in your side is permanent. Or at least until you get things to back to the way they are supposed to be."

"Oh goody."


	39. Chapter 39

Two hours and eight minutes didn't seem that long of a time most of the time. Watching _Titanic_ for the fifth time? Kurt barely noticed when the movie crept towards the three hour mark. The best sale of the year at his favorite designer outlet? The entire day could fly by and Kurt would never notice. And while he hadn't been lying when he told Matt it was a long, boring drive between Columbus and Bowling Green, give him the right Broadway soundtrack to listen to and he could make the best of it.

But tonight, for this trip, two hours and eight minutes managed to seem both impossibly long and freakishly short at the same time. It was absolutely amazing how dreading what was about to happen could do that to a person. In fact the last time Kurt remembered time passing in the same manner, Matt ended up on a plane to Spain the next morning.

That probably wasn't the best memory to think about right now. Because Kurt was pretty sure there was no real way to tell your current boyfriend you weren't moving in with him while explaining you had dropped everything to be by your ex's side because his sister had a car accident that in the end wasn't even life threatening. If there was, Miss Manners had never bothered to educate anyone on that particular topic.

He had been sitting in the parking lot of Austin's building for the past five minutes, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, trying to figure out what exactly was the best way to approach this. Austin would be hurt and mad. And honestly Kurt couldn't blame him for it one bit. It was his ridiculous issues that put them in this situation. He knew the night Austin asked he didn't want to move in. He knew it right then. He should have just said no, told the truth he wasn't ready for that particular step (totally omitting the entire still clinging to an old fantasy of Matt asking that question thing clearly) Austin was a good guy; one that was so understanding one day it was going to bite him in the ass. Yeah it would have been uncomfortable for a few days, possibly a few weeks, but surely if Kurt had just said no right away, they could have found away to deal with it that didn't automatically include breaking up.

There may be some truth to the argument he had drama queen tendencies, Kurt admitted but there was no other option he could see at this point. And it was all his fault. Kurt sighed as he pushed open the door and made his way towards Austin's door. Sitting in the car contemplating this wasn't going to make it any easier.

Austin is a good guy, Kurt repeated to himself the entire walk down the hallway. This is not going to end like something out of a bad non-paternity related episode of Maury. There wasn't going to be screaming, and accusations and tears. Alright there was probably going to be tears, Kurt allowed. But there would be no furniture tossing, lunging with intent to punch, or clothing tearing. Well there better not be clothing tearing because this was a new Heaterette shirt after all.

Blowing out a breath before smoothing out the few wrinkles that dared to appear during the drive, Kurt raised his hand and knocked on the door with as much faked confidence as he could manage. He could be a mature adult about this. He could handle this.

"Kurt." Austin opened the door, his voice tight and even. His face, Kurt recognized, was controlled. Ok this was probably not going to go as well as he had hoped.

"Austin." Kurt smiled and waited for the door to open wider. When Austin didn't make a move to leave the doorframe, Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Are we going to have this conversation in the hallway?"

Austin shrugged his shoulders. "Why not? It's not like you actually want to be here anyway."

Kurt flinched, which he supposed was the precise reaction Austin was going for. "I know I should have said something earlier."

"Ohhh." Austin leaned his frame against the door jamb. "So it was the beginning of the speech not a Dear John letter. Raph was actually right about something. Not that I'm going to tell him that."

"Speech? What are you…." Kurt stopped as he remembered what exactly he had been working on when Matt received the phone call from the police. "You found my draft of what I wanted to say."

"Yes. Well to be specific Stephen and Raph found it. And they tried to downplay it when I came by only to get your call a few minutes after I showed up." Austin tilted his head. "For future reference, if you're going to enlist people to cover for you, make sure they know what's going on. The two complete opposite stories they came up with were quite amusing. I'm sure I'll laugh someday."

"I wasn't covering up anything. I _told_ you what happened and where I was going."

"You did." Austin nodded his head. "And I appreciated your honesty. But I'm not angry about you going to see Matt when his sister was in the hospital. Well not totally about that."

"It's about me not moving in isn't?" Kurt bit his bottom lip. "I should have told you that night I wasn't ready to take that step. I shouldn't have let it dragged on as long as I did."

"Why _didn't_ you say anything if you knew when I asked you?"

"I didn't want to hurt you, which I ended up doing anyway. And I thought I was just focusing so much on the past to understand why I let my eating habits get so out of control that I wasn't seeing my future. "Kurt looked down at the ground, concentrating on the shine in his black shoes. "I guess the bottom line is I thought I should want to move in with you and the fact that all I could think was I should want to do it wasn't a good enough reason."

"You could have just told me no, you know? Stringing me along like this…."

"Was stupid and cruel. I know that. And I'll always be sorry for that. You didn't deserve it. It was all me and my issues."

"If we're assigning blame, I should have called you on it way before now." Austin admitted with a sigh. "I knew when you didn't answer right away there was a pretty good possibility you didn't want to move in. The longer you took to answer, the more I thought you were going to say no."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Same reason you didn't I guess. We worked for a long time and there's not really a reason why we aren't. And it was probably just easier to pretend everything was the same when I guess we both knew it wasn't. When you ran off to help Matt without a second thought, I guess it just all came clear to me. "Austin held up his hand. "Not that I don't think Matt really didn't need support. Or that I think it was the wrong call on your part. Or that I think this was all Matt's fault. Because I don't. I think we both just want different things and it's not each other."

"You are being way more mature about this than I dared to hope."

"I've had a lot of time to watch Oprah's network and achieve Zen." Austin deadpanned.

They both chuckled a little at the joke. "For what it's worth?" Kurt offered. "I really couldn't have made it through this last year without you."

"I think you probably would have found support from someone." Austin smiled slightly. "But it wasn't a big deal."

"It was to me." Kurt assured him. "Do you think we could still be friends?"

"Maybe someday? But not now. And I don't think we'll ever be friends like you and Matt are friends." Austin pointed out. "That's pretty rare. You know that right?"

"I'm finding that out." Kurt sighed. "So I guess this is it then?"

"I think that's probably a good idea."

Kurt nodded before standing up to kiss Austin's cheek. "Goodbye Austin."

"Goodbye Kurt."


	40. Chapter 40

"If I tell you something do you promise on the soul of Joss Whedon that you will not be all you and freak out with logic and responsible thinking?" Leah began, her hands held up in a pleading fashion as he entered the apartment. One look at her and Matt could tell she had her heart set on something. Even worse, she wasn't about to give up until she got it. Whatever it was.

"A little tip? Starting your request like that doesn't exactly make me inclined to help you."

"All you need to do is drive me somewhere and bring me back. That's it. You do this? I won't complain once about you driving like an old lady."

"Again, doesn't exactly make me want to help you." Matt pointed out as he shrugged his backpack off his shoulder. He collapsed onto the couch, careful to mind Leah's casts. She had been basically stuck in the apartment since she was released from the hospital and had been driving him crazy ever since. Apparently there was a limit to how much daytime TV and movies a person could watch. The stack of books she had promised herself she would read "someday" was demolished. She had every current crossword puzzle book out and he had yet to understand why she hated Sudoku with a fiery passion. Ti was enough to make him almost wish she had in fact accepted the Chang's offer to move in with them after she left the hospital. He'd miss her but her boredom? Not so much. "Why don't you just try just telling me what wild hair you've got now? It has to be better than your plan to have a cross country road trip just to see The Price Is Right being taped."

"You wouldn't be mocking that plan if we had won the new car."

"Yes I would because with our luck, we would have also the boring sensible family car not the cool sporty one." Matt pointed out. "Just tell me the plan."

"Fine, but before you pull a you, I want it on the record that I have actually been thinking about this for a while now and this is the right time for me to do it. So this is not some spur of the moment idea born of boredom like Snuggies for Horses was. You go that? I've been thinking about this for awhile now. I just haven't mentioned it to you because I know how you are. And if the whole accident thing hadn't happened I would just go myself, get it done and tell you later."

"Get what done?"

"See before the accident, I made this appointment to get this done tomorrow. Because I would have the money saved up for it and I've got it. And this place is like impossible to get in to. So I'd rather not reschedule it for a time when I'm more mobile. And I called and asked and the whole two casts thing isn't a problem."

"See you keep trying to avoid telling me what the it that you clearly want to do is." Matt fixed his best no bullshit face at his sister. "This conversation would go a lot faster if you just told me what you want to drive me to."

"You know you look like Dad when you try that."

"Low blow." Matt pointed out. "But I'm not promising you anything till you tell me what you have an appointment for."

"To…to get a tattoo."

"You….you want a tattoo." Matt managed to get the words out without busting out laughing. Leah, _his sister_ Leah, who could barely handle getting a TB skin test before she was hired as a substitute wanted to get a tattoo. His sister who hadn't stopped crying about getting shots at the doctor's office until she was in high school willingly wanted to pierce her skin with an ink filled needle multiple times. He closed his eyes to keep the laughter back but it was useless. Leah let out a tiny breath and he lost it.

"It's not funny." Leah protested. "I really want to do this. And I even have the perfect spot to put it so it won't be a big distraction when I teach."

"I'm sure you do but there's no way in hell you're going to get a tattoo."

"Why because you aren't going to drive me?"

"Oh no. I'm going to drive you. And I'll go in to the place with you. There's no way you Miss Can't The TB Test Just Be a Visual Thing is actually going to go through with this plan."

"I will not chicken out. I resent the implication that I will chicken out."

"You will so chicken out. That's the reason you booked the appointment two months in advance. You're a chicken."

"I am not a chicken. I will get the tattoo. And when I do, you're going to get one too Mr. Sure of Himself."

"Oh that's the safest bet I've made because one look at that needle, and you are running out of there. You are so on."

* * *

One would think, he would have learned by now to not bet Leah on anything. Especially when she was determined about something. Matt could readily admit he was stubborn but there were only two people he had ever met that could out stubborn him. One was currently in Bowling Green and the other was smiling in triumph as he examined the new tattoo before she re-applied the gauze to the back of her right shoulder blade. He raised an eyebrow at her, determined not to give her smirk of satisfaction any additional ammunition. Instead he decided to make fun of the design of angel wings around the name Priscilla. "Really? A tribute to your truck? When did we become white trash?"

"Hey!" Leah protested as she re-adjusted her shirt, shaking her finger in his face. "Priscilla saved my life in that crash, Burt Hummel is convinced he can make her run again and she's part of the family."

"All that talk? I was expecting something….less ridiculous."

"I can't wait to see what _you_ chose." Leah smirked. "You know since clearly you spent your entire time out here deciding what would be awesome enough for you."

Matt let out a groan. "You're going to make me do this aren't you?"

"A deal is a deal." Leah nodded. "Now if I were you, I would get going because otherwise I'm going to end up deciding everything about this. And I think you could rock the tramp stamp, I don't think it's as awesome on guys as it is on girls."

"It's awesome on no one." Matt pointed out as he stood up to follow the tattoo artist back to his station.

"Don't think I don't think I can't tell you actually like this idea." Leah called out. "You aren't arguing nearly as much as you would if you hated it."

He wasn't going to dignify that with a comment, mainly because she was right. The idea of a tattoo wasn't completely awful. He would be lying if he said he had never considered getting one a time or two fleetingly. He had never really gotten beyond the _idea_ of a tattoo to actually consider what he might want as a permanent mark on his body, but he figured if he avoided things like cartoon characters he would be ok. Or names of significant others but since he was single that one was not an option.

"So… what were you thinking of?" The artist, a skinny white boy with a lip piercing and neck tattoo asked as Matt sat down in the chair.

He wasn't sure what possessed him to say it, but it was the first thing that came to his mind. And the quote had been important to him, ever since he first saw it senior year. He was just going to hope Leah had forgotten all about how exactly he came to know this particular quote.

* * *

"Let me see! Let me see!" Leah would have jumped up when her brother re-appeared from the station if it wasn't for the casts and the chair she was being forced to use. Instead she settled for clapping excitedly. She had honestly thought Matt would beg out of it before he ever let things get this far. Her pragmatic little brother apparently did have a streak of fun in him left after all. "You went with Marvin the Martian right? Cause he is the bomb."

"Yes." Matt nodded. "I did. Now can we go home?"

"No. I showed you mine. You show me yours."

"There is something deeply disturbing about hearing that phrase come from your sister."

"So show me and I won't have to repeat myself." Leah fixed her best puppy dog eyes on Matt. He never had figured out how to tell her no when she flashed those particular weapons. Today proved no different. With a sigh, Matt unbuttoned just enough of his shirt to let her see the bandage on his upper chest, just above his heart. Rolling his eyes, he lifted the bandage just enough so she could read the script that now rested there.

"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Leah murmured quietly. Well wasn't that an interesting choice. She knew her brother loved the quote but she also remembered perfectly _who_ Matt had learned that particular quote from. In fact she was pretty sure she had the proof of somewhere in the apartment. "So you'll mock Marvin the Martian but a Winnie the Pooh quote is totally cool with you?"

"It's not a quote. It's wisdom." Matt protested as he straightened himself out.

"Yeah. Wisdom." Leah nodded as Matt began to push her chair to the cashier. Clearly her brother had the notion she was going to just tease him a little bit and move on. Or at least that was his hope. But if Matt thought she didn't remember he had learned that particular bit of wisdom from Kurt, he had another thing coming.


	41. Chapter 41

**I am very sorry about not updating last night but Idina (the muse)...she was not feeling it. And everything Kurt said sounded like Matt said it...I ended up chucking it all and starting over today. So forgive me?**

"This feels wrong." Kurt declared as he came to stand next to Mercedes. Tilting his head, he took in her hot pink sequined Santa hat. "But not nearly as wrong as that hat. Honestly Cedes you buy these things just to torture me don't you?"

"You know I make this look good." Mercedes teased him, sticking her hand sassily on her hip. "And maybe I'm just ahead of you in spotting a new trend."

"If that's the future, kill me now."

"You have been walking around here all night like someone told you Marc Jacobs was going out of business." Mercedes pointed out, dragging Kurt by his arm to a relatively quiet corner of the Jones' family room. "Tell me what's bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me but that hat."

"Tell me the truth or I'll make you wear this hat." Mercedes fixed her sternest stare on him. "Don't mess me boy. You may have gotten taller than me, but I can still take to the floor without breaking a sweat."

He was tempted to continue to blame everything on the very existence of that atrocious hat. It was perfect proof there really was no God. But he recognized that gleam in his best friend's eyes. It was the same gleam she had before she successfully wrestled the remote out of his hand during an ill-advised marathon of Baz Lurman films. It wouldn't matter to her if they were in a room full of most of their closest friends. If she wanted to body slam him to the carpet, she would. With a sigh, he dropped his shoulder against the wall. "Everything's changing and I'm just depressingly single at the holidays."

"Not everything's changing. We might have added a few new faces but we're all still friends." Mercedes protested, gesturing around the room before dropping her voice to a whisper. "By the way, speaking of new faces, what is your verdict on Tristan?"

Kurt snuck a glance to the fashionable dressed man Rachel had brought with her to the annual New Directions Holiday Party. With his well tailored black jeans, slim fitting green turtleneck, gorgeous charcoal grey cashmere scarf and impeccable manners, Tristan Hawthorne cut an impressive figure. He was also so similar to Rachel at times it was more than a little scary. "I flirted with everything in me." Kurt promised. "Nothing. I think he's straight."

"No offense baby, but you have a terrible track record when it comes to this." Mercedes patted his arm, her smile full of pity. "It's a good thing you're still pretty enough to attract the boys."

"If you're so convinced I'm terrible at this, then why did you ask me to flirt with him?"

"Because Matt's not here." Mercedes said simply. "Now we have to figure out a way to get Tristan to meet Matt."

Kurt decided to ignore the dig at his alleged lack of gaydar. _Honestly, you miss the fact one person was gay (and it wasn't like everyone else had figured Matt out at the time thank you very much_) Kurt thought, _and you can never hear the end of it_. "And that brings up my other point. We may have added new faces but not _everyone_ is here."

Normally the former members of New Directions met on New Year's Eve and stayed up all night to ring in the incoming year. But between Finn spending most of Christmas break with Courtney's family this year, Quinn going to Michael's house for the first time and Project for Awesome You Tube thing Artie somehow found himself involved in, this year's celebration had to be moved up. And while moving their traditional party didn't mean too much juggling for everyone else, it did lead to two very important developments. One, the party was now being celebrated on Matt's twenty first birthday which everyone had initially thought was beyond awesome. (The opportunity to get Matt drunk just didn't happen often enough as far as the assembled group was concerned.) That is, it was awesome before development number two happened.

Matt wasn't at the party.

Matt usually never came back home before Christmas Eve. His work schedule pretty much saw to that. But this year Leah and Matt had decided because of her accident, it was too much hassle to drag down the wheelchair and the crutches in the tiny rental car they were using while Burt Hummel and Puck attempted to repair Leah's truck. Matt's Jeep was on it's last legs. No matter how much Matt denied it, it would never survive the trip from Columbus to Lima. Not to mention it was December in Ohio and Kurt was pretty sure the heater in the Jeep hadn't worked in a few years. So Matt and Leah had decided to spend a small quiet Christmas at their apartment this year.

So Matt and Leah were currently not joining Artie in Rock Band or gossiping with Tina, Santana and Quinn. Mike had refused to let a milestone birthday such as the twenty first go uncelebrated (sadly no one had argued with his point that Matt would probably use Leah's accident as a great excuse to stay in and do nothing), so he had made the drive to Columbus determined to make his best friend have some fun.

"Matt, Mike and Leah I can understand." Kurt continued. "I'm still trying to devise a reason why Puck decided to go along."

Mercedes rolled her eyes knowingly. "I'm pretty sure he's hoping Leah will get drunk and he'll get a peak at the tattoo."

"Isn't that just charming?" Kurt drawled. The Rutherford family tattoo party had become a hot topic of conversation in the past month among the Lima crowd. While everyone could agree on Leah getting a tattoo, Matt's participation had raised more than a few eyebrows. Talk only increased when Matt refused to actually say what tattoo he got (or where it was located. Not that Kurt was particularly obsessed with _that _subject) and Leah's only answers were purposefully cryptic. Her latest answer, for example, when she was asked about Matt's tattoo was _"Wisdom comes from all sorts of places."_

"You know you could have gone with Mike." Mercedes said slowly, glancing over at Finn attempting to bring a round of drinks over to Courtney, Rachel and Tristan without dropping all four of them with concern.

"And miss JoBeth's star turn as Christmas Elf number four?" Kurt gasped in horror. "I could never!"

"Please boy. We both know your dad and Carole saw that entire thing through the viewfinder of that camera you and Finn bought them last year. Your sister is such a ham she would have never even noticed you weren't there." Mercedes smirked at him. "Wonder where she gets that from?"

"Hudson side of the family." Kurt retorted.

"Still you could have gone with Mike. Matt would have _loved _to see you. We all would have understood."

"And you all would have been texting Mike the entire night asking him for status updates about if we sneezed at the same time." Kurt scoffed.

"Only because we wouldn't want Matt's birthday present to be ruined because you two had to be all _you_ about it." Mercedes shrugged before starting to move away from him. "And don't even try to pretend you wouldn't have been spending the entire night playing Find the Tattoo with him."

"Very tasteful Mercedes."

"Hey if you would have done it, we all would have consider it your Christmas present to us. Now you have to buy us gifts. So who really screwed up?"


	42. Chapter 42

"Ohh excessive head desk."

The groan was muffled thanks in no small part to what seemed to be the entire content of Matt and Leah's linen closet being piled on top of the bed. Mike grinned a little as what he assumed was his best friend's body shifted under the various blankets and sheets. Only Matt would decide he was freezing when he was plastered. And clearly only his best friend would make a nerd reference probably only Artie understood when he first woke up with what had to be the mother of all hangovers.

"Water and Tylenol on the nightstand." Mike called out cheerfully, his grin widening when Matt groaned again, a clear protest again Mike's volume. A hand snaked out of the blankets fumbling around to grasp anything resembling the aforementioned items. When his hand hit the side of the water glass, Matt raised his head just enough to make out where the pills where, pop them in his mouth and take a drink of water.

"I would have given those to you last night." Mike continued as he tied up his black and white Converse sneakers. "But you passed out me the second you were buried alive. Bro I am so going to teach you proper hangover maintenance today. Or maybe tomorrow if I'm feeling generous."

"I hate you." At least Mike was pretty sure that was what Matt had said. It did after all sound like "Aye shate moo." Man was he hoping Matt hadn't developed a strange fixation on cows.

"You'll love me when I make you my guaranteed to work hangover remedy." Mike promised. "Now drink all your water and drag your disgusting self to the kitchen. " Mike paused in the doorway, his head tilted to the side. "You might want to consider doing that before Leah gets up. Cause we both know she'll come in here at top volume."

Mike left Matt's room, confident his threat had done the trick. Of course it helped Matt clearly didn't remember much from last night. Now the tricky thing was, what exactly should he tell Matt about?

_He was going to kill Leah. When he had asked for ideas as to a good club to take Matt to for his birthday, she had suggested The Avenue, claiming it was the only club Matt went to the rare times he did go out. And granted he should have known when she got that strange look on her face when he said that was where he was going to take Matt for his birthday that something was up. Ok and maybe he should have thought of the possibility of a gay club because well he did spend an inordinate amount of time trying to set up Matt with various guys. But still Leah should have told him The Avenue was a gay club._

_He would have still gone. He didn't room with Lucas for nothing after all. Once his roommate was finally over his ex, Lucas had dragged Matt out to at least one gay bar in every city they stopped in. What Mike would have done is not worn the skinny "club jeans" Kurt had insisted he buy when they went shopping together during his last tour stop in Columbus. Judging by the looks he was getting from a few of the club patrons, there was a high chance for a more than slightly awkward conversation before the end of the night._

_Of course that was incredibly self-centered of him. The guys here were probably looking at Matt. It had taken Mike precisely five minutes to realize Matt may not make it a habit to hang out at the club, but there were clearly plenty of people here who wished he would change his mind on that point. Once word got out about it being Matt's 21__st__ birthday, the offers to "buy the birthday boy a drink" didn't seem to stop. As he watched Matt try to steady himself against the bar, Mike realized this was the first time he had ever seen Matt drunk. Buzzed? Yes. Slightly tipsy? A few times. But well and truly completely plastered? Never. It was almost enough to make him wish he had brought a video camera._

"_Having a good time?" Mike chuckled as he patted Matt on the back._

"_Which one of you is talking cause I'm pretty sure there's two of you right now."_

"_And I think that's a good sign it's time to call it a night."_

"_No" Matt shook his head stubbornly. "I'm having fun and I'm a stick in the mud who needs to have more."_

"_But that's why we love you." Mike pulled Matt closer to him in an attempt to steady him and an effort to keep some of the more pervy looks away from them. Matt was his boy and it totally possible he'd never remember any of this in the morning anyways, so yeah he could totally pretend to be with him in that way if it kept the pervs away. "Besides if we stay here much longer, that guy in the corner who looks to be about 40 is going to come over and offer you a ride and I don't think he would mean in a car."_

"_I'm blaming Puck for that one."_

"_Oh trust me, I blame him too. Him and Lucas." Mike shook his head._

"_I wouldn't go with Mr. Pervy anyway. See I have a type and he's not it." Matt waved his hand in front of his face wildly._

"_Really?" Mike felt a slow grin grow on his face. Now this had the potential to get interesting. "And just what exactly is your type?"_

"_Kurt."_

If Mike hadn't been positive before that statement Matt was truly drunk out of his mind before then, that one little comment would have sealed the deal. The entire ride home Mike had heard far more than he actually ever wanted to know about how the ever confusing sorta-relationship Matt and Kurt currently found themselves in worked. It was completely enlightening to learn that since both of them found themselves single these days, they had taken to talking to each other just about every night by phone. Matt had somewhat slurred out it was much safer than talking via Facebook. And he had suspected Matt had been disappointed when Kurt stayed in Lima to witness JoBeth's role in the community theater's Christmas play, it was nice to have confirmation.

Coming up to the tiny kitchen, Mike was startled from his thoughts when a completely bizarre sight greeted him. Noah Puckerman was making what appeared to be breakfast. Knowing he was driving last night, Mike had only had a few beers early on and he had pretty positive they were just plain old beer. However right now, he was couldn't help but wonder if someone along the way had slipped him a hallucinogenic drug in his drink, because this was just not happening.

"What in the hell is going on out here?"

"Mike." Puck looked….was that startled? The great Puckzilla was actually looking startled by his presence? Ok what freaky rabbit hole did he just fall down? "I didn't hear you wake up dude."

"Yeah cause Matt's completely hung-over. I was trying to be quiet." Mike tilted his head, trying to figure what puzzle pieces he was missing here. "What are you doing here? You weren't here last night."

"Yeah. I totally just missed you guys. And I would have followed but gay clubs are only good it's an all chick one. All dudes is lame and completely gay."

"That's kinda the entire point Puck."

"You know what I meant." Puck waved his hand. "Anyways, dude I played some Xbox and crashed on the couch. You just didn't see me when you came in last night. And you know me dude, the Puckzilla sleeps hard."

While it was true that Puck was notorious for being impossible to awaken once he did fall asleep, Mike could have sworn he hadn't seen him on the couch when they got back. In the first place, even Puck couldn't have missed the fact Matt nearly shoved it into the wall when he tripped against it. And secondly, Mike could have sworn he had heard whispered voices coming from behind Leah's closed door last night.

But that was just insane. Leah had far too much sense to actually fall for any of Puck's crap. Not to mention it hadn't worked once in the nearly five years Puck and Leah knew each other. Mike doubted Puck had magically come up with a pick up line that Leah would find completely hot.

So then what exactly was Puck hiding? And where was Leah?

"Please tell me that isn't actual food I smell because I will hurl it all over your feet." Matt declared as he stumbled down the hall. He leaned his head against the wall and blinked several times as he spotted Puck standing by the refrigerator. "Puck? Is that you? Or am I still drunk?"

"Like I let my boy celebrate his birthday without me." Puck grinned. "I just missed you guys. You must not have seen me on the couch. But sit down because I am going to make you the most badass hangover remedy you've ever seen."

Mike decided to let Puck's lie slide for now. At least until Matt was in a more coherent mood to help him figure it out. There was something going on here, Mike was sure of it. But right now, he had to make sure Matt didn't actually hurl all over his feet. He liked these shoes.


	43. Chapter 43

It had been years since he had seen the first days of summer in Lima. Matt strolled through the playground he remembered spending long summer days playing football and basketball until the sun came down and his mother yelled for him to come home. It had been a long day, full of unloading and rearranging things to his sister's exacting specifications. At least three times today, he had been tempted to drop whatever he was holding at the time on still healing foot.

It was a bizarre sense of déjà vue that had settled over him today. The room that had taken so long to feel like his own was now being occupied by Leah. The few things he had left there had been moved into the room Mike used on the rare occasions when he came home. It shouldn't be a big deal. Matt himself rarely came back to Lima for more than a handful of days a year, but he couldn't deny it stung just a little to see it happen. In his mind he knew it didn't mean anything. Susan would still insist he come back for every Christmas and few holidays he was fairly certain she was making up. But his heart needed just a minute to catch up with his brain.

A delighted giggle caught his ear. Turning, Matt tried to figure out exactly where he had heard the familiar sound before. As he neared the playground area, a genuine smile crossed his features. JoBeth Hummel was pumping her legs as Kurt pushed her higher and higher on the swing. Clearly the five year old had won what Matt suspected was a daily battle over what she was going to wear when Kurt came to visit. There was no way her brother would have let her out of the house in her mismatched pink and blue sneakers, orange socks, purple jeans and green shirt.

"Clearly she inherited your fashion sense." Matt called out as he moved closer to the pair.

"You are not funny." Kurt huffed as JoBeth launched herself off the swing and took off in a run towards him.

"Matty! Matty!" For as tiny as she was, JoBeth had apparently learned from Finn how tackle like a football player. Matt felt slightly foolish as he had to place his hand on a nearby bench to steady himself but the alternative of her knocking him down to the ground didn't exactly seem appealing. "Guess what Matty? Guess what?"

"You hid all of Kurt's hair products and haven't told him where they are yet?" Matt guessed, ignoring the stink eye Kurt shot him.

"Don't give her any ideas." Kurt warned over the head of his giggling sister.

"No silly. I'm getting a new sister."

Matt looked up at Kurt completely stunned. JoBeth had certainly been a surprise but a second child? Burt and Carole must be freaking out. Unless JoBeth had it wrong. "A new sister?" he asked weakly.

"Yup." The little girl nodded, oblivious to Matt's shock and Kurt's barely concealed amusement. "In a month, Courtney will be my sister."

"Courtney. Finn's Courtney?" Matt asked, seeing Kurt nod in confirmation. "Finn and Courtney are getting married?"

"Yup. In a month. I'm going to be the flower girl. I can't wait."

"I know you can't munchkin." Kurt ruffled his sister's hair. "Why don't you go play with your friend Trisha over there at the slide? Just stay where I can see you."

"Ok but you better not leave Matty." JoBeth called out her warning over her shoulder as she ran off to meet up with her friend.

"I won't. I promise." Matt swore as he sat down on the bench. He waited until Kurt sat down next to him before he asked the logical question. "Finn and Courtney are getting married in a _month_?"

"Yes." Kurt nodded, the telltale smirk of someone about to drop a bombshell playing on his lips. "When you're trying to avoid the baby bump in the pictures it's the only sensible thing to do."

"_Baby bump_?" Matt leaned against the bench, rubbing his face with his hand. "She's pregnant?"

"And before you ask the next question, yes we did quiz her about hot tubs being involved." Kurt held up his hand. "She's now terribly concerned about the family she's marrying into."

"Wow." Matt breathed out as he leaned forward. "Finn is getting married. And having a kid. That's just insane."

"I know. Especially since I still have to remind Finn proper laundry procedures. The number of times I've seen him mix his whites with colors. It's terrifying. Simply terrifying."

"Well yeah that, but that's real adult stuff you know? I mean Quinn and Puck had Beth and all, but after the adoption was done, it was kinda like we all forgot that happened. We didn't talk about it. And they didn't talk about it. And we didn't see Beth obviously. This is going to be the first kid we actually see grow up. And the first wedding. "Matt shook his head. "I'm babbling. I don't even know what I'm saying."

"No I think I understand what you're saying." Kurt nodded slowly. "It's proof we actually are growing up. We're going to start going to the wedding of people we know. The people we know did stuff like believe you could get pregnant in a hot tub without having sex are going to be having kids."

"Yeah and people are going to start asking us _those_ questions. You know like have _you ever thought about doing that? Found the right one yet? What about kids? You aren't getting any younger you know_?" Matt sighed. "Those sound fun."

"Well I'm pretty sure you and I will get out of the wedding related questions." Kurt pointed out. "But you're probably right about the kids one."

"Yeah especially when your friends with Rachel Berry." Matt laughed as he settled back on the bench. A thought teased him and before he could stop himself, Matt felt the words leave his mouth. "Do you ever think about it? The kids stuff I mean. You ever think about it?"

Matt winced as silence greeted his question. A quick look over at Kurt revealed the other man to be merely blinking at it. "You don't have to answer that. I don't know why I even asked. Just forget it."

"No. You just caught me by surprise is all." Kurt managed. "You better write this down. You've managed to render me speechless. A first."

For once Matt was able to actually bite his tongue and keep back the retort about remembering another time he rendered Kurt speechless.

"I think you're the first person to actually ask me that." Kurt mused. "I don't think I would want to go the route Rachel's dads took. One Rachel in the world is enough."

"Come on. Everyone knows you two are friends now. You can stop pretending to hate her." Matt grinned, elbowing Kurt in the side.

"Shut up." Kurt returned the elbow. "What about you?"

Matt shrugged his shoulders. "I work with a lot of kids that are in care at the hospital. And I guess it's crossed my mind a time or two that if I wanted to, and if I was with the right person, that I would look at adoption. "

"Yeah. Everything depends on being with the right person." Kurt agreed.

"Exactly." Silence spread between them as they watched JoBeth charge down the slide, each lost in what exactly the right person would look like. "Finn found the right person. Courtney's great. They'll be great together." Matt decided, breaking the silence.

"Right. They've found the right one. They're totally lucky."

"Yes. Always a lucky thing when you've found the right one."


	44. Chapter 44

**You've all been sooo patient...I thought I'd give you a little present.**

Even though he would have preferred to have more than four short weeks to plan this event properly, the wedding was a success if Kurt did say so himself. Working in the best bridal salon in Bowling Green (there were a few others and it was miles beyond the David's Bridal perched on the edge of town) had given him an even more refined eye for detail, which came in handy as it slowly began to dawn on him that cute, adorable and hilarious as she was, his new sister-in-law had no taste. Actually that was being charitable. She had less than no taste. She had the absence of taste.

Clearly she really was Finn's soulmate.

He tried not to shudder as her remembered the dated 80s polyester number Courtney had insisted she could wear as her dress. Some part of him could appreciate the sentimentality of wearing the dress her mother had worn, but Kurt just couldn't let that thing see the light of day. It had shoulder pads! There were enough crystals on the bodice to supply the cast of Dynasty for an entire season! And the most important fact, Courtney's mother was a good six inches taller than her daughter. Certainly Courtney's argument the dress concealed her barely visible swelling stomach (she was what? Now a size four instead of a two? Kurt had huffed to Carole more than once) was valid. Of course it was valid due to the fact she looked as if she was a very tall five year old playing in her mother's clothes.

The wedding may have had to come together in a hurry, but there was no reason for bad taste. Kurt had tapped into every favor his boss had ever owed him in order to pull this off. In fact, he probably ended up owing her far more than he ever had. But his impending indentured servitude was completely worth it. The dress Courtney had ended up had been a sample that had been damaged when a bride couldn't be convinced she wasn't a size 2. It had meant a few late nights with the sewing machine but the simple ball gown style much better suited Courtney's frame. The tiered satin skirt hid his future niece or nephew perfect. Courtney looked every inch the Disney princess Finn imagined her to be. If the permanent grin on his stepbrother's face was any indication, the dress was perfect.

He was shaken from his thoughts as Courtney slid next to him, shaking her bouquet of tulips at him. "You can't hide in the corner all night. You worked too hard on this. I want to see you having fun new brother."

"I'm not hiding. And I am having fun." Kurt protested before kissing her cheek. "You look gorgeous if I do say so myself."

"Well you stuck me with enough pins that I hope I'm presentable." Courtney giggled. "Do you think anyone can tell?"

She looked so darn happy and just perfect American bride that Kurt didn't have the heart to tell her most of the guests had already figured out there was a baby on the way. It was the only logical conclusion to draw when a couple announces their engagement and wedding in the space of a month when they were neither in the military or a Kardashian. Besides he had chosen this particular gown for it's spectacular ability to hide any real or imagine stomach issues. "Not a one. All the women here are dying of envy over how you look."

"You are such a liar, but I'm too happy right now to care." Courtney smiled, raising her hand in greeting to a relative of some kind who spotted her. "Now I will get you out dancing on this floor. Mark my words."

"You have me terrified." Kurt promised with a smile as she ran off, swallowed by the small sea of family and friends that milled around the ballroom at the Athens Marriot. He easily saw Finn work his way across the dance floor as Courtney waved him over to introduce him to yet more relatives. Puck remained seated at the head table, tie loosened and his arm slung around one of Courtney's sorority sisters who had been a bridesmaid. Mike and Mercedes were currently holding court on the dance floor while Quinn and Michael tried to keep up. Tina and Artie sat off to the side, Tina resting her feet in Artie's lap. Santana and Brittany had a couple of Finn's frat brothers entertained in the corner behind him. Rachel and Tristan were near the DJ's booth, where Kurt was sure Rachel was moaning about the depressing lack of Barbara Streisand in the CD collection.

"So just out of curiosity, did Courtney have any say in how her own wedding went down?" Matt asked as he slipped up behind him. Kurt rolled his eyes as he turned around, only to be faced with the undeniably attractive sight of Matt in a classic black suit with a French blue dress shirt and no tie. Dear Gaga could the man wear a suit. It just wasn't fair.

"Curiosity my Prada boots." Kurt crossed his arms and leaned back on his heel. "You have a bet with Artie."

"I do not. I just want to know who I should compliment on what for a job well done."

"You are still a _terrible_ liar. The hand thing gives you away every time."

"I do not have a hand thing." Matt groaned.

"You're right. You've finally figured out about the world wide conspiracy to convince you of a hand thing that doesn't exist. How will we rule the world now?" Kurt deadpanned.

"Obviously you'll have to concentrate on taking over more weddings." Matt nodded calmly. "It's the rationale solution."

"You are working very hard for the usual twenty bucks."

"It's forty and it's to buy a really nice gift for the baby." Matt admitted. "Well as nice as we can get for forty bucks. So telling me isn't really to help me, but your niece or nephew. Come on, you don't want us to have a worst present than Puck do you?"

"She had some say."

"Some? Define some."

"The…cake."

"I knew it!" Matt laughed as he pumped his fist at his side. "Artie is going to have spend time at the toy store. Life is so good."

"So you basically bet Artie I was a control freak. Nice to know."

"No you got it all wrong. Artie bet you didn't let her have any say whatsoever. I said at least one decision was her's. I was on your team."

"Thank you for your support." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Any time man. Any time." Matt laughed as he clapped a hand on Kurt's shoulder. It was just a friend putting his hand on his shoulder, Kurt told himself sternly. People had been doing this all night. The only reason it felt like he had been electrified was because he had been running on too much adrenaline and not enough food today. It certainly wasn't any sparks of any kind between him and Matt.

"Ladies and gentlemen." The DJ crooned into the microphone. "The groom has made a special request tonight. Seems this next song is extra special to twelve people here tonight. So we're going to ask that the rest of you take a break while the members of New Directions take the floor."

The familiar opening bars of "Faithfully" filled the hall. Kurt and Matt watched as their friends filtered out on the dance floor and paired off. Probably to save some awkward explanations, Tina grabbed Finn's hand pulling him out with her. Quinn smiled at Artie's offered hand and Puck made an exaggerated bow towards Rachel's giggling self. Although her back was turned to them, neither one of them had to see Santana to know she was eye rolling the entire thing even while she was swaying with Brittany. Kurt was pretty sure Mike and Mercedes never broke eye contact and hadn't heard a word the DJ had said.

Which just left Kurt to dance with Matt. Well they could try to break up Santana and Brittany but that was just asking for more trouble than it was worth. And judging by the shit-eating grin on Finn's face, Kurt had the suspicion this was all be design.

"Why do I think we've been set up?" Matt echoed Kurt's thoughts. "Although I have to give them credit. It was a lot more subtle than I was expecting."

"And if we don't go out there, then we'll get the guilt trip from everyone about ruining the fun at Finn's wedding." Kurt sighed. "Sneaky bastards."

"Ok here's my thought. We dance for a little bit and then we start cutting in. I'm thinking Quinn and Tina. Neither one would tell us no. Plus Artie and Finn would totally dance with each other for a minute at least."

"I think that might be our only option." Kurt nodded as he began to pull Matt out to the dance floor. "By the way, what did you think of Tristan?"

"He's straight. None of my best moves worked."

"That's what I told them." Kurt complained as he rested his hand against Matt's waist, taking Matt's hand in his and they began to sway in beat of the music. "Maybe they'll start to listen to me."

"Yeah I don't think that's going to happen until you actually develop a gaydar."

"Just shut up and dance."

"Someone's mad I'm right."

"Just shut up and dance."


	45. Chapter 45

"Get up White Boy. You cannot pretend to sleep your way out of this conversation." Mercedes announced loudly at what Kurt was considering an obscenely early hour. Her status as best friend granted her exactly one partially open eye for his best death glare before he buried his head further under the sheets.

"Who's pretending? Last night wrecked serious havoc with my skin care routine and only a proper eight hours of beauty sleep will repair the damage. Go away."

Of course being that Mercedes was his best friend, in retrospect Kurt realized it shouldn't have come as a shock that she proceeded to ignore his very reasonable request by sitting down on the side of the bed and pulling the sheet off him. Unaffected as she always was by his most murderous glare; she smiled down at him and patted his hair. "You look adorable with bed head baby. Have I told you that before?"

"You make me sound like I'm two when you talk like that." Kurt complained, trying unsuccessfully to duck her hand. "Why can't you let me sleep? You know how late I was up last night." He whined. It never hurt his chances with Mercedes by whining.

"I did let you sleep." Mercedes pointed out calmly. _Great_, Kurt groaned to himself, she was in one of her don't humor Kurt at all moods. This was not looking good. "It's nearly eleven and with how long it takes you to get ready, if you don't get up now you'll lose the entire day to grooming and wardrobe selection. Waking you up now means we stand a chance at catching that movie tonight. And secondly, I was up just as late as you were helping clean up and I'm up. So I know you didn't think that approach would actually work."

"Eleven?" Kurt screeched as he looked at the clock sitting innocently on his bedside table. "Why did you let me sleep so long?"

"I tried about an hour to go to wake you up." Mercedes said reasonably. "You threw the Fall Fashion issue of _Vogue_ at me. That sucker hurts."

"I'm sorry. I probably thought you were that cousin of Courtney's that kept trying to add up the value of all the wedding presents." Kurt apologized before tilting his head to the side. "Where did we end up putting those? I think I officially checked out after picking up the millionth packet of Jordan almonds."

"Carole and your dad put them in Finn's room. Or Finn's old room I guess."

"That's too weird to think about." Kurt waved his hand. He knew the wedding was yesterday and right now Finn and Courtney were on their simple honeymoon down in Gatlinburg. He was also well aware that Finn was moving to Athens once they returned and would stay there at least until Courtney finished school. However it was still strange to realize that Finn no longer lived at home. Finn was _married_ and in a few months would be a _father_. Matt was right. It was too much of a reminder of them all being adults to deal with. "Let's talk about something else."

"Ok" Mercedes agreed far too readily. "Let's talk about you getting your flirt on with Matt last night."

"You know you really can't tell me one day that I suck at flirting and then try to tell me I was flirting like crazy. "

"Honey you _do_ suck at flirting. It's just Matt has always found it endearing instead of annoying for some reason. And you two were having such insane amounts of eye sex last night I think you gave the rest of the guys competition issues." Mercedes smirked. "Not that I'm complaining about that part."

"It's still too early to have that conversation." Kurt rolled his eyes. "And there was no epic amounts of eye sex."

"Boy please. You were undressing Matt the second you spotted him at the church. And for the record Matt was pretty much doing the same thing. When you add in the dancing…."

"Which you all set us up to do." Kurt pointed out.

"Whatever. We didn't tell you to have all the eye sex or ignore the smoking hot waiters that were trying to get your attention. And we didn't tell Matt to flirt right back with you either. Face it. You two were minutes away from finding an empty room and being a shameless cliché. And to be honest I'm kind of mad at you that you didn't."

"Why? Because you can't trot out the _I told you so_ speech you prepared for such an occasion?"

"No because now I owe Artie twenty bucks. That baby is going to be shamelessly spoiled by ill-gotten means." Mercedes shook her head. "But back to the point. If Mike had an ex he flirted that much with I would scratch her eyes out without breaking a nail."

"There was no eye sex and there was no flirting. Matt and I were just talking. We do that just usually not in front of an audience of friends who need to concentrate on their own love lives. "

"Please. If that wasn't flirting then I'm fitting into Courtney's wedding dress tomorrow."

"If it was flirting" Kurt rolled his eyes as he maneuvered himself away from Mercedes and off the bed. "it clearly meant nothing. To either of us. Otherwise why would we all be going to the movies tonight?"

"Because you two love to get in your own way." Mercedes pointed out as Kurt made his way towards the bathroom. "And if you all have eye sex tonight, you're buying my popcorn."

* * *

"You know you weren't even at the wedding. I don't know how you can sit there and tell me I was or wasn't having eye sex with someone when you weren't even there." Matt pointed out as Leah continued to just roll her eyes at him, as she had been doing all damn day long. "Seriously, you have no idea what was going on."

"My source is damn reliable." Leah smirked in that way that was driving Matt up the wall. Her source? What the hell was she talking about? What? Had she given up her dream of teaching to be an FBI field agent? "And my source says eye sex."

"Considering your source is one of my friends I have to disagree." Matt pointed out. "There was no eye sex and I still don't get why you invited yourself along."

"Because according to you Kurt is coming to this little outing and I want to see the eye sex for myself." Leah shrugged. "And I'm bored. This is way better than summer reruns and reality TV. "

"So you came to embarrass me and Kurt over something that didn't happen?"

"No it happened. And yes. Yes I did come for that reason." Leah smiled brightly. "In fact I'll make you a deal. If when everyone gets here, there is no eye sex, I'll buy your ticket and popcorn. If there is eye sex, you're buying."

"And who's going to be the judge of this?"

"Me obviously. Keep up here Matt. I am impartial. If there is no eye sex I can totally admit it. Am I not the one who can enjoy a pairing in theory but admit when there is no chemistry on screen?"

"Are you really trying to equate my life with one of your soaps?"

"No because you would be way too boring for a soap to focus on." Leah pointed out. "Now hush and perfect not having eye sex since everyone is coming this way."

Matt looked behind him to notice everyone (well everyone minus Finn and Courtney obviously) entering the theater in a massive chattering group. Given the look of absolute exasperation Kurt had on his face while Mercedes was whispering something in his ear, Matt had a feeling they had both been on the receiving end of similar conversations today. He gave a slight wave, winking when Kurt caught his eye. Kurt chuckled, winking right back before tilting his head towards Mercedes and rolling his eyes.

A sharp tug on his arm caused Matt to look down at his sister. "What?"

"Large popcorn. Lots of butter. Don't be skimpy. That was eye sex."


	46. Chapter 46

He had been staring at the envelope for the better part of an hour. It was thin. Way too thin for it to be a good thing. Matt hadn't actually done any research on the subject, but he assumed that graduate schools operated on the same wavelength as most undergraduate programs did. A large fat envelope meant you were accepted. A thin one, thanks for trying but you suck. It was barely September and he was already staring at a thin envelope.

Matt had tried to be realistic. The odds of him getting into every program he applied to were slim. Psychology was a popular major and it was on that practically guaranteed an advance degree to do anything with. Plus, even if he did get into more than one school, it didn't mean he could actually afford to go to it. Competition for grants and scholarships was even more cut-throat at the graduate level. Matt had told himself many times in all reality, his choice about where to go to graduate school was probably going to come down to which one he could afford.

It had been what his sister dubbed "the obsessive planner" in him that made him send his applications in early. Leah had made fun of him every chance she got but Matt could tell secretly she understood why he was doing it this way. He hadn't been lying when he told Kurt that summer night graduate school was going to be difficult. The further he got into his major, the more convinced he became he had made the right choice of a career to aim at, the more he realized he needed a plan to attain his goals. And making a plan hadn't exactly failed him so far, so why fix a working system?

The GRE was a bear but Matt didn't think he had done that badly on it. If he discovered he was wrong (as he so often did), there was still time to retake the damn thing. And he knew his grades were good but so were presumably everyone else's. Matt had to pin his hopes on his work experience at the hospital, his volunteer work and his personal statement piece to make him stand out.

And judging from the envelope the University of Chicago just sent him, clearly that hadn't happened.

The ringing of his phone distracted him from his thoughts. Glancing at the caller ID, Matt smiled a little before checking his watch for the time. Nine thirty. That was one incredibly shot date even by Kurt's standards. "What did this one do? Wear mis-matched socks?"

"The ability to look in the mirror is a trait all highly evolved mammals should have." Kurt sniffed into the phone. Matt tried very hard to not laugh. Ever since Kurt had returned from Finn and Courtney's wedding, apparently Stephen and Raph had taken it upon themselves to set Kurt up with a near constant stream of blind dates. Although it seemed to Matt, they were going out of their way to find the worst possible matches for Kurt imaginable. "And no but he was far more interested in the waiter's ass than mine. That's absolutely the last time I go out with someone Stephen describes as Raph but smoother."

"Ok it's bad enough I know Raph is pretty much Puck's clone. I really don't want to imagine there's triplet running around out there."

"Well believe it." Kurt sighed dramatically as Matt imagined he threw himself down on the closest piece of furniture available. "But I didn't call you to just bitch about the latest in this endless stream of horrible choices."

"Oh you want to complain about your roommates as well?"

"No. I'm wondering why you've been sitting online completely idle for the past hour."

"I have not." Matt denied, looking guiltily at his open laptop. The original idea had been to update his Facebook status if he had been accepted. Of course when the very real possibility he had been rejected crossed his mind and he couldn't get up the nerve to even open the damn envelope, Matt had kind of forgotten about the entire plan. "And even if I was, how would you know? You were just on a date."

"A horrible one. And like the rest of the free world when they find themselves on a horrible date, I turned to my phone. I noticed you were on and idle the first time Captain Looks A Lot noticed the ass and that was an hour ago. It's Friday night, you've been idle on the computer and I'm not hearing anything around you. Please tell me you are not in the library on a Friday night. I will tell Leah and she will disapprove of these new roommates of yours."

"I'm not in the library. I'm at home."

"That's not helping your case at all."

"I was going to meet Terry and Clara. I just got distracted."

"By sitting alone in silence? Matt have you gone emo on me?"

"No. It's just…." Matt sighed as he rubbed his hand over his hair. He picked up the envelope and once again wished for the reality of x-ray vision. "I got a letter from one of the graduate programs I applied to and I can't bring myself to open the damn thing."

"Still too scared to see someone praising your brilliance?"

"It's a thin envelope Kurt. A _thin _one"

"Oh" Silence fell between them as Matt continued to stare at the envelope and Kurt tried to figure out some way to make the situation seem better. "Maybe they send you all the stuff about housing and whatnot later. It could be a good thing."

"I don't think so."

"But you don't know. And you aren't going to know just staring at the thing. Just open it. It can't be that bad."

"You don't know that."

"If it's a rejection, it's a form letter. They don't go out and personally insult you when they say no. I promise it can't be nearly as bad as you are imagining it to be."

"And if you're wrong?"

"Then I'll wear sweatpants for a week." Kurt promised. "Just open it and tell me what it says."

"Ok" Matt sighed. "I'm opening it." With a shaking finger, he slid it under the sealed flap, pulling out the heavy letterhead that lay hidden. His eyes scanned the words once, then twice, then three times. "No way."

"Matt?" Kurt asked worriedly. "I'm not actually going to have to go through with that promise am I?"

"They want me to come up for an interview. It's the next stage of the selection process. I'm to the next stage."

"You forgot there was an interview portion to this process?"

"Apparently?"

"It's a very good thing you are miles away from me right now because I would so smack you upside your head. Twice since you know Leah would want to do the same thing. Honestly Matt only you would get yourself psyched out about what is good news! You were probably thinking about throwing it away without even opening it weren't you?"

"No." Matt denied quickly. Alright the thought _had_ crossed his mind but he wasn't about to admit that now.

"Sure." Matt was absolutely certain by the tone of Kurt's response he was getting the stink eye. "This is a good thing. A great thing. I'm so happy for you."

"Yeah it is. Of course now I have to figure out how to get up there for this thing."

"No. No. You are not going to be you about this right now. You are not going to move immediately into freak out mode about the next step. You need to celebrate this. And not in your apartment by yourself. Go out. Find your roommates like you were supposed to do and enjoy this. You can worry about how to get up there tomorrow. And if you don't? I will personally come down there and throw out every pair of shoes you bought in the last four years. Which I am sure will count for a world beautification project. "

"And how are you going to know if I don't?"

"Because as soon as we hang up, I'm calling your sister. And she will find out. I love Leah but she has spies everywhere and it's scary. Leah will tell me."

"There is something so insanely wrong about this entire conversation. You do realize this?"

"Yes but we wouldn't have it any other way would we?"

"Yeah you're damn right about that."


	47. Chapter 47

Kurt glanced up at the clock that dominated the far end of the sewing room. Five minutes later than the last time he had checked it. Sighing, he looked down at was supposed to be one tier of a skirt he was working on but he had somehow managed to not only sew in a crooked line, he had also managed to stitch together the wrong ends. With a groan that was equal parts embarrassment and frustration, Kurt crumbled the innocent, yet still offending fabric into a ball and tossed at the corner scrap bin. It was a total beginner's mistake, one he shouldn't be making. He needed to get his head together and actually concentrate on what he was doing.

And forget about the fact that Matt was in Chicago and his grad school interview was supposed to start two hours ago. Or the fact Matt had promised to call him as soon as he was finished. And he hadn't. A long interview was a good sign, but there was no way Matt would actually talk long enough to fill two hours. Even Kurt, blinded by affection as he was, knew that much. Two hours either meant things had gone so well Matt was out on the town actually celebrating or it went so horrible Matt was locked in his hotel room rethinking every decision he had ever made that brought him to this point in life.

The obvious and simple solution was to call Matt himself and after yelling at him for forcing this phone call, find out which it was himself. Kurt had picked up his phone no less than five times to do precisely that but he couldn't bring himself to actually complete the call. What if the interviews were just running late? And what if Matt hadn't set the phone to vibrate? Then he would be calling and interrupting the entire meeting just because he was being ridiculous overly concerned.

It would help if he got out of this room. Standing up, he snatched his messenger bag from the drafting table he had tossed it on earlier. The only other person in the room, a junior attempting to graduate a year early, barely looked up from the hem of the pants she was working on. Snaking his way through the mazelike hallways of the design building, Kurt willed himself to stop freaking out so much and relax. Matt would call. Matt always kept his word.

Blinking as he stepped out into the early fall afternoon, Kurt was momentarily at a loss as to where to go. If he went back to the house, there were better than good odds Stephen or Raph would be home. And Kurt knew they would all too easily catch him staring at his phone on a near constant basis. It was more than enough to hear their not-so-veiled comments after every phone or Skype conversation he had with Matt. Honestly it was starting to feel like freshman year all over again.

"Who ran over your couture?" Stephen asked as he easily fell in step as Kurt crossed the campus. "And can I get front row tickets to see you demolish the unfortunate soul who made such a lethal mistake?"

"First off I would not demolish someone over that. I would kill them. Let's get the facts straight. And what are you talking about?"

"You look like you are about…" Stephen's explanation was cut off when the familiar chords of _Wild Horses_ sounded from Kurt's phone. Kurt let out a breath, holding up a single finger to Stephen as he answered the call.

"It's about time. I was this close to driving over to Chicago myself to see what happened."

"I told you I was going to call." Matt defended himself.

"That was over two hours ago. I know you. You were not talking for two hours straight."

"Well not by myself. There were two group interviews and two individual interviews."

"Wow. Sounds like they developed that one specifically to torture you."

"Yeah that's what I thought. But actually it wasn't that bad. I don't think."

"Was that optimism I'm detecting? Who are you? What have you done with Matt?"'

"Ha. Ha. You're hilarious. Appearing at any comedy clubs soon?"

"So you think it went ok?" Kurt asked seriously. He turned away so as to ignore the pointed look Stephen was shooting him right now.

"Yeah I think it did. I won't know anything for another few months but at least I got this far right?"

"Exactly." Kurt smiled, hoping Matt could somehow tell without seeing it. "So are you staying in your room like a hermit or are you actually going to chance seeing Chicago?"

"There's a few of us from today that are staying in the same hotel. We're planning on meeting up in a little bit. However I figured you were about ready to drive everyone crazy so I called you first."

"Me? Driving everyone crazy?" Kurt scoffed. "I am the perfect model of calm and collective thinking."

"Sure. Rational too even." Matt laughed. "But I actually have to go and meet them downstairs in a few minutes."

"Yeah you should go. I'm glad it went well. I'm sure you impressed the hell out of them. As long as you didn't get dressed in the dark."

"Thanks for that vote of confidence in my abilities." Matt chuckled. "And I wore the outfit you told me to bring. Happy?"

"Immensely. Now go have fun."

"Yes sir. I'll talk to you later."

Kurt shook his head as he ended the call and returned the phone to it's pocket on the strap of his messenger bag. Looking back at Stephen, he leaned back on his heels. "I'm sorry what were we talking about?"

"We were talking about how you are either the dumbest asshole ever born or the most oblivious one." Stephen rolled his eyes. "Honestly? I'm leaning towards both."

"And what are you going on about now?"

"You. And Matt. My God you don't even see it do you?"

"See what?"

"The fact that you can be tearing through this campus, ready to rip apart anyone who would dare to wear white sneakers to the gym, Matt calls and you don't notice people wrongly mixing trends anymore."

"I would never miss something like that." Kurt protested. Some things just needed to be stopped for the good of all humanity after all.

Stephen held up three fingers. "Three of them walked right past you not even ten minutes ago. You didn't even blink."

"You're exaggerating."

"And your ring tone for him!" Stephen continued, waving his arm wildly. "_Wild Horses_? Really? Really?"

"It's Matt's favorite song and he loves the Stones." Kurt shrugged. "I don't see why you are freaking out so much about it."

"Because it's a love song you dumbass. _A love song._ That you have programmed for someone you will claim is just a friend till you are blue in the face. Newsflash! No one programs a love song for someone that is A-just a friend or B- a fucking ex. Not unless they are thirteen year old girls or boys with a massive crush on a boy that's a friend ok? As you are not thirteen and just look like it, that is unacceptable."

"I'm sorry Matt's taste in music offends you so much." Kurt huffed, clutching the strap of his bag. "I'll make sure to tell him that."

"This has nothing to do with Matt's taste in music. It has everything to do with the fact you have feelings for your ex still." Stephen held up a finger to silence Kurt before he could even get a syllable out. "Or you re-developed them recently. I don't know for sure but they're there. They're real since you clearly enjoy talking to him every night than any date you've had in the past few months. If he's late calling you, you freak out. If you're in a bad mood before he calls, you're in a good mood after it. I'm not the psych major, but I can tell what's going on here."

"And what exactly is that?"

"What I said. You have feelings for Matt. And if being with him is what makes you happy, then great. Go for it. But you need to quit with the denial and decide what to do because if Matt is even half as dense as you are? He will never figure out you feel this way and move on to someone else. And I am not dealing with mopey depressed freshman year Kurt. Once was enough. So figure out what you want to do and do it. Or better yet? Do him. That would probably solve everything."


	48. Chapter 48

And his friends said he couldn't lie his way out of a paper bag, Matt scoffed from the safety of his hotel room in Chicago. Years of constant bragging how Matt could keep no secrets from anyone who really knew him were just proven totally wrong. He could lie, when he put his mind to it and really wanted to do it. Weird hand thing his ass.

Alright it _probably_ helped a little that he lied over the phone, so if that alleged hand thing existed (which it so didn't. Not a single person had yet to produce any sort of evidence that he actually did something weird with his hand. It was clearly some urban legend Mike had made up while he was bored.) no one could see him doing it and call him on it . And it wasn't a _total_ lie. He had been invited to check out Chicago with some of the people in his interview group. And he had intended to go along with them. He had just got distracted.

So maybe it was more accurate to say he could lie so long as no one he knew could see him and it wasn't a total lie, just a partial one. But still, he could lie and he fully intended to point that to Mike the first time the opportunity presented itself. So long as he was reasonably sure Mike wasn't going to press him about why he felt the need to lie, because that he would never live down.

He hadn't wanted to go exploring Chicago because he wasn't at all positive he had done a good job in his interviews at all. In fact, he was pretty positive he had completely dragged all the energy out of the room. The group interview wasn't that bad. He could blend in. It was easier to voice his opinion knowing the chick on his left that reminded him a little too much of Rachel to be comfortable (he had been tempted to call Rachel just to make sure she was positive she was an only child) would jump on in and take over if she liked the point he made. Compared to her, Matt knew he looked like the model of restraint and patience for not leaning over and clocking her one.

No it was the individual interview that had been torture. Somewhere in the back of his mind Matt remembered reading about interview portions for all the programs he applied to. It just made sense given the small number of accepted applicants and the huge pool of potentials. What he couldn't remember was what the hell he had been thinking when obviously his subconscious had written this part off as no big deal. His nickname in high school was "Mute Matt" for the love of all, and that was from his friends, the ones who knew he actually could talk. He really didn't want to think about what the people who didn't like him called him. Yes he preferred a one on one situation over groups but that wasn't a one on one conversation with a professor who literally could crush a person's academic pursuits with a single bad exchange. Now that he was thinking about it, even though Matt was fairly certain he had made a few good points and tried to put himself in the best light; all he could remember was every awkward verbal pause and the fact his body language was probably reeking of discomfort.

Why go explore Chicago, and potentially fall in love with the city, when it was already a long shot he would be accepted into this program and he so most spectacularly failed at selling himself today. That just seemed like a bad idea all around. So Matt had begged off, citing an early flight back home, which was a total lie. But these people were total strangers to him and wouldn't even know to look for the weird hand thing to call him out about it.

Of course now he was kind of screwed into spending an entire night alone with his thoughts. He really didn't want to hear from his sister if she ever found out he went walking around a strange city by himself at night. There was nothing all that exciting to watch on TV. None of his friends from home were nearby. All the good Saturday night shows didn't start airing till after midnight. (All night viewings of _Murder By the Book_? Yes please!) And if he went online right now, with his luck Kurt would be online and totally call him out for not being out like he had said.

Matt groaned, throwing himself back on the bed as whatever unnecessary sequel to a vastly superior movie played on ABC Family. Why the hell had he thought about Kurt? He was trying to _not_ think about him for weeks now. And failing pretty epically at it, if he was going to be honest but he was trying. Hell the fact visiting the Miracle Mile and window shopping had been on the agenda for that night's excursion was reason enough to turn it down. He had made it almost five entire hours since the phone call before he thought about what Kurt might think or say. That had to be a new record. Or at least a post wedding record.

The next time he saw Finn, he was going to murder his former teammate. It would suck for his kid and Courtney but at least it would give Matt some peace. Ever since the wedding and that stupid dance, he had been unable to keep Kurt out of his mind. Leah's constant comments about eye sex would definitely not have happened if Finn hadn't gotten married. And when he and Kurt talked, it would just be talking without this flirting undercurrent that was currently lacing their every interaction. Because while being friends with an ex was a tricky situation to explain, Matt was pretty sure being friend with an ex you flirted with was a one way ticket to never having another relationship again.

Unless of course he was actually hoping for a relationship with Kurt again. Which was ridiculous because the very valid reasons they broke up after high school still stood. He was going to be even a worse boyfriend if he got into grad school. And if he didn't get in, he would be the most miserable, depressed bastard in the entire state. And while Kurt liked to say fashion came from everywhere, Matt knew if Kurt really wanted to pursue it as a career, Los Angeles or New York were the places to be. So thinking about rekindling a relationship with an ex when in a few short months they were likely to be on opposite sides of the country? A sure-fire recipe for heartbreak.

And because it was his luck, that was exactly the idea that he kept coming back to. After every conversation with Kurt. Every email. Every Skype session. Every single time he realized Kurt was flirting right back with him. _What if they tried again? _It was a stupid idea, born out of being alone too long and Kurt being single at the same time for the first time since freshman year. The flirting? It was just the way they communicated. Plenty of people did that. So what if the only person he could think of right now who did that was Puck. There had to be other people who did it. He wasn't doing it because he still had feelings for Kurt and maybe in the back of his mind thought about what it would be like to be together again.

Except when he was alone with his thoughts when that was the only thing he was thinking about.

He needed to get a grip and face reality. For once and for all. He may still have feelings for Kurt. He may entertain the idea of getting back together. But it wasn't going to happen. He was the one who decided breaking up was for the best and he was just going to have to deal with that. It was for the best. Because there was no way Kurt was having the same thoughts he was.

* * *

Stephen Coco was many things. He was a loyal friend. A stellar gossip hound. A good roommate. And even a decent study partner when he put his mind to it. But above all these things, Stephen was an insufferable ass when he was right. And when it came to his feelings for Matt, Kurt was getting the uncomfortable feeling Stephen was actually right.

Kurt sat at his laptop, tapping his fingers against the desk. His email inbox said it all. It had taken him a few months but he had finally managed to clear out most of the message Austin had sent him, save a few he had printed out. Emails from the parade of blind dates were deleted almost as soon as the date ended. And yet he still had nearly every email Matt had ever sent him. Emails from Spain. Emails from Columbus. Random forwards. Even the one Matt had accidentally sent to him instead of Leah about how Leah needed to actually meet people in Lima and her dating might not be a bad idea. Of all the emails about potential matches he had received from that site, there were only two he had held on to. Karofsky's for his future therapist's education and Matt's.

Now that he thought about it, he could almost pinpoint the exact moment his most recent blind dates started to go downhill and when he started to think about calling Matt to recap the entire sordid mess. The worse the date, the more he perversely enjoyed them just for the chance of making Matt laugh. It was his senior year in college and those nightly phone calls were becoming the most important part of his day. It absolutely floored him to realize he didn't want to go out with any of Stephen and Raph's choices not because his friends were terrible at picking out people to set him up with (even though they so were), it was because they couldn't set him up with Matt.

When had this happened? Had it always been there, as Mercedes and everyone else in his life claimed? Did he fall back in love with Matt? Did he ever fall out of love with Matt? Was he even falling back in love with Matt at all or was this just the end result of not having a boyfriend and sharing a house with two friends who really needed to just go at it like wild monkeys and kill the tension already? Kurt wasn't even sure at this point what the actual answers to his questions were but he supposed it was a good thing he was asking the questions. At least to himself because he was for damn sure not going to tell anyone else he was thinking about these matters. For one thing they would all never let him live it down and take it as free reign to run the rest of his life for him. And for another thing, just because he was thinking about this, didn't mean Matt was.

Kurt knew better than most people Matt tended to follow the conversation in whatever direction it went. If Kurt started flirting (and it was likely him who started it), Matt would just follow along as a habit. It wasn't exactly a good habit to have, but this was the same Matt who only got in trouble during high school because he was playing look out for Puck. And Matt was incredibly stubborn. Kurt knew what all their friends had been saying to him for the past four years. He could only imagine what they said to Matt and then add in Leah? Gaga knew he loved Leah but subtle she wasn't. If there were any feelings there, Matt was more than capable of ignoring them just to prove their friends and Leah wrong.

The simple solution was to just stop calling Matt every night. At least, Kurt considered, until he had a better handle on what he was feeling and why. If it was just a combination of nostalgia, freaking out over finishing school and loneliness, it wasn't fair to Matt to drag him into Kurt's fashionably early quarter life crisis. Matt deserved better than that. If these feelings were based on something more substantial? Then Kurt needed to figure out what he wanted to do about it. He knew what schools Matt was looking at. Kurt knew where he thought he would be after graduation. There wasn't a single common city on both lists. Did he want to be that guy? Did he want to pull a Felicity? Cause while that worked out alright in the end for her, there were some unfortunate hair choices that he would rather avoid at all costs. Did Matt even want him to pull a Felicity? Or would he, if Matt knew what that meant?

It was all too confusing right now and if Kurt didn't know what he wanted, then he wasn't about to talk to Matt about it. There was no need to drag Matt into his drama for potentially no reason. Especially when Matt had enough to worry about with grad school interviews and the whole funding process. No. Kurt was not going to do that to him. He could push this back and just be Matt's friend. Once they got through all this insanity, if he still felt that way, then he would talk to Matt about it. But not before. Not a single day before.


	49. Chapter 49

**Before anyone feels the need to educate me...i'm aware grad school doesn't work this way...well i am now. I kinda Jossed myself which is a total feat I MUST say...**

"I suppose even a holiday dedicated solely to gluttony has a good side." Kurt sighed as he looked over the table once again. He was fairly positive Carole had managed to cook everything that was ever stored in their cabinets. The dining room table was positively sagging with the weight of all the dishes and that didn't even include the turkey his father was currently carving in the kitchen.

"The holiday is about being thankful for friends and family." Courtney laughed from her seat in Burt's prized recliner. Kurt still couldn't believe she and Finn had made the drive all the way to Lima for Thanksgiving with her due date less than a week away. Everyone had begged them not to come, to rest and take it easy, but Courtney had insisted. It was already arranged for both families to come to Athens over Christmas, so Courtney felt they should come to them for Thanksgiving. Kurt was pretty sure a road trip that included stopping roughly every twenty minutes for various reasons had Finn rethinking the wisdom of agreeing with her. "The entire day is a good side."

"Not when your entire family watches every piece of food you put on your plate." Kurt pointed out. "I feel like a circus freak."

"If it helps, this year they'll be watching my every blink to see my water has broke."

"As they should you crazy woman." Kurt rolled his eyes at her while she giggled. JoBeth barely took her eyes off the television where the adventures of Charlie Brown entertained her. Finn and his dad had been forced to give up football for kitchen help duties. "You should be at home or glued to your doctor's side."

"I'm _fine_ to travel. And the women in my family generally deliver late according to my mother."

"Well Gaga forgive me for not trusting so proven as what your mother says is family tradition. You should be at home."

"Then who would distract them from how much or little you are eating?" Courtney smirked as Kurt placed his hand over his heart.

"You are so generous, driving the rest of to distraction just to help me out. How will I ever repay you?"

"It's the least I could do for your help finding non-ugly maternity clothes. Honestly Kurt I can't thank you enough for that. I was beginning to think everyone who made maternity wear were insane and blind."

"There was no way I was going to let my sister-in-law look like a frumpy house frau for five months." Kurt shuddered. "I'm trying to make a name for myself in fashion and pictures of you looking like that just wouldn't do."

"So long as it helps you." Courtney started to laugh but it was cut short as she winced in pain. Kurt instinctively leaned forward, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Sorry. Indigestion."

"You've had that all day long." Kurt pointed out. "And you've barely ate a thing."

"I'm fine." Courtney protested before wincing again. "Wow. I think the baby is a little excited for Thanksgiving. That was one hell of a kick."

"Courtney…you aren't going into labor are you?" Kurt questioned with warning in his voice. He loved Courtney and he already loved his nephew or niece (Finn hadn't wanted to find out the sex, convinced it was bad luck), but he was wearing his new Gucci lace up boots and there would be hell to pay if that happened.

"I don't….I don't think so…." Courtney managed before she gripped Kurt's hand tightly.

"CAROLE! FINN! GET IN HERE" Kurt yelled. He knew next to nothing about the entire birthing process and he preferred to stay ignorant. "I THINK COURTNEY'S IN LABOR."

It turned out that in addition to being able to spot trends early, Kurt could also tell when a woman was in the early stages of labor. If he didn't have trouble even seeing a hint of blood, he would have had one hell of a career in obstetrics, the on call doctor had told him. Kurt could remember mumbling something about not being able to work with the ghastly green scrubs before he made his way back to the waiting room, where it seemed everyone in the room was waiting for news on Finn, Courtney and the baby.

His dad was on the cell phone in the corner, most likely trying to give directions to Courtney's parents who were on their way. Carole was close by, glancing anxiously up at the clock. JoBeth was sitting with Brittany, playing with a pair of dolls Kurt couldn't be sure which girl actually owned. Santana was furiously flipping through a months old magazine while Quinn filed her nails. Rachel, Tina and Artie huddled together whispering over something on Artie's laptop. Mike and Mercedes held hands while watching the TV mounted on the wall. Puck had his legs kicked out into the middle of the room, forcing anyone who wanted to move to practically jump over him.

"Any word?" Carole asked when she spotted Kurt enter the room, making his way towards where Matt sat near the vending machine.

"Not yet. " Kurt sighed as he sat down. "But Finn apparently fell on his way into the delivery room, so he's clearly acting normal."

"I knew it!"Artie pumped his fist excitedly, grinning at Tina. "You owe me a Coke woman."

"This is taking too da…darn long" Puck corrected himself quickly when he caught JoBeth's eye. "It seemed shorter last time."

"You had a slightly different vantage point." Quinn pointed out coolly, her eyes never looking up from her nails. Everyone, even Puck looked away uncomfortably. "I'm sure Courtney is doing just fine and this baby is being just like his father and waiting for his perfect entrance."

"Exactly." Rachel chimed in, a bright smile on her face, sliding closer to Quinn. "This child is a born performer and is being dramatic. It's a wonderful indication of stage presence."

"Did you ever think you'd see the day when Rachel would be riding to Puck's rescue?" Matt whispered to Kurt, laughing quietly.

"Never. Just like I never thought half of these people would be here under these circumstances." Kurt pointed out, waving his hand. "Ex boyfriends. Ex girlfriends. A baby daddy and a baby momma. We're an incestuous little Brady bunch."

"But the Bradys always did better when they stuck together. Although I always thought we were more the Partridges than the Bradys."

Kurt shot a glance up to the screen of the TV. "I'm blaming the conversation on the fact _Reality Bites_ is currently airing on the only channel this room actually gets."

"Duly noted." Matt nodded, his fingers playing with the edge of an envelope Kurt had seen him pull out of his back pocket when he arrived. Not that he was looking because it was a particularly pleasant area to look at; he reminded himself, he was just curious. Still was to be honest.

"What's that?" Kurt pointed towards the envelope. "You've been playing with it ever since you've got here."

Matt held the object up so Kurt could see the official seal in the corner. The University of Chicago. "I think it's an answer to my application."

"I thought you said you wouldn't get that till April."

"Yeah but individual departments can tell applicants early if they wish. Apparently the psychology program wishes."

"And you've come to the conclusion it's an outright rejection because you're you and that's what you do." Kurt guessed. He was going to take Matt's sudden interest in the floor's linoleum tiles as confirmation he was correct. He held out his hand. "Here. Gimme. You won't open it and I'm not waiting all night to find out."

There was a good five minutes as Kurt could see Matt mentally debate if it was going to be worth it to fight him on this. Kurt kept his sternest face fixed on Matt and his hand outstretched. With a sigh, Matt gave him; slapping the envelope in his hand. "Ok but if it is a rejection just make something up. Tell me the school is closing in a year or something."

"And people say I'm the drama queen. Honestly they should listen to you sometimes" Kurt muttered. With a practiced air he slipped his finger under the sealed flap, pulling out the heavy stationary inside. Pausing for a moment to admire the simple yet elegant letterhead, he scanned the letter. With a grin he looked up to meet Matt's eyes. "The school isn't closing."

"What?" Matt grabbed the letter from Kurt's hands and Kurt desperately tried to ignore the tingling he felt from the brief contact. "I got in? I got in."

"You got in."Kurt confirmed, before impulsively leaning forward to hug Matt. "Congratulations."

"I can't believe it. This was my reach school." Matt shook his head. "I didn't actually think I get in."

"Well you did. And I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks." Matt turned around and both of them found themselves startled by how close they were actually sitting together. A movement of a few inches by either one of them and their lips would be touching. Almost as soon as the realization washed over them, their eyes lowered; locking in on each other's lips. Each lost in their thoughts about if it would still feel the same if they were to just close the gap. Would it change everything? Would they lose everything they had fought so hard to keep?

"He's here!" Finn's joyous voice broke their spell as he came running into the waiting room, nearly sliding across the floor and into to Puck's lap.

"He?" Carole asked excitedly as everyone stood up. Kurt tried not to notice Matt taking an extra step away from him. "It's a boy?"

Finn nodded, the brightest smile his step brother had ever given etched on to his face. "Yes. And he's perfect Mom. Just perfect."

"What's his name sweetie?" Carole asked hugging her son to her as Burt clapped a hand on Finn's shoulder. Kurt found himself being moved closer to his family, mainly due to JoBeth's insistent grabbing of his hand. He wanted to be there for Finn's big moment but he couldn't deny a part of him wanted to drag Matt into a smaller room and figure out exactly what had just happened.

"Christopher. Christopher Douglas Hudson."

Carole swallowed thickly, nodding far too quickly in an effort to keep back tears. "Can we go see my grandson?"

"Yeah. Come on." Finn draped his arm over Kurt's shoulder dragging him along as he made his way out of the room and down to the nursery. "He's so cute you guys."

"Congratulations." Kurt offered up brightly. It was the same sentiment he had offered up just minutes ago to Matt, but Kurt knew the same strange moment wasn't going to happen again. And no matter how much he might wonder exactly what had almost happened, he had to put it out of his mind. The moment had passed and it wasn't going to happen again. Right now he had a new nephew to focus on and not a near kiss with an ex.


	50. Chapter 50

**Seriously? Chapter 50? Holy Snood what is this? **

The celebration of Christopher Douglas Hudson's birth had lasted far into the early morning hours. It had surprised Kurt to learn there were bars that were open on Thanksgiving night, but it hadn't surprised him in the least Puck knew where they were. The initial idea had been just to offer up a toast in honor of Finn, Courtney and little Topher (as christened by JoBeth and Brittany) but then Mike had found out about Matt's acceptance into the University of Chicago and it became a celebration for Matt as well. Even though Matt had protested the entire time it wasn't a big deal and he wasn't even sure if he was even going to go there. After all he still didn't know about grants, scholarships and financial aid.

It was almost as if the fact all of them really were growing up and were about to start new chapters in their lives dawned on all of them at once. Tina had even pointed out next year would be their five year reunion for McKinley. Although no one planned on going, it had sent a shiver down Kurt's spine. They really were at an age where they talked about things like reunions and who was having kids. For Gaga's sake he was now an uncle. He could remember seeing his own uncles when he was a child and thinking how _old_ they were. He was not old.

Everyone was making plans for next year. Puck was going to continue working at the garage but now as a fully certified mechanic and not an apprentice. Mercedes and Santana were thinking about what schools they wanted to teach in. Artie was debating graduate school or starting up his own web-based business. Tina had cornered Matt to see if Matt had any different research than she did on programs in Educational Psychology. Quinn was still waiting to hear on her law school applications but Kurt knew she was hoping for Boston University. Rachel was talking about taking on some voice students while she continued to audition. Mike had some another touring production booked but was also hopeful for a regular gig in Las Vegas. Even Brittany had some idea of what she was doing next year, although Kurt was pretty sure "saving the gummi bear trees from being sold at the grocery" was an actual viable plan, but it was still something.

It wasn't as if this notion of the future coming was an entirely new idea to Kurt. Like everyone else in his circle he had made plans. He had sent off applications, portfolios and videos of his work to every top fashion school he could find. It was just a waiting game now. He knew that. However it never hurt to look at one more program. Even if he did consider himself absolutely crazy for doing this.

The lack of food from earlier from earlier, the lack of sleep and the alcohol had driven him to insanity. That was the most logical explanation as to why he was sitting up at four in the morning looking at the website for the Chicago Institute of Fashion and Design instead of going to bed.

Kurt chewed his bottom lip as he looked through all the information listed on the website. It was a good school, he had to admit. He hadn't really looked at it since it wasn't in New York or Los Angeles but it wasn't as lacking in connections as he had originally thought. True none of his highly favored avante garde designers had attended, but he still recognized a few of the names in the list of alumni. And he always had been a trailblazer.

He shook his head. What the hell was he doing? He had finished all his applications months ago. He didn't want to sweat out yet another portfolio that was due in less than two weeks for a school he hadn't even considered before tonight. And just why the hell was he considering it anyway? Because Matt had been accepted into the University of Chicago? Matt wasn't even sure if he was going to attend and it wasn't like they were dating.

It was just ridiculous. And pathetic. And insane. He didn't have the sudden urge to check out Amy's Academy of Design in beautiful downtown Lima just because Puck was going to be in town. It made no sense whatsoever to do this because his friend Matt might go to school in that particular city.

Except it made perfect sense if he was still in love with Matt.

Closing his eyes, he could still see how close they had come to kissing in the waiting room tonight. Sure it would have been easy to blame it on the excitement of the night and the anticipation that lingered in the air. Heightened emotional state and all that jazz. When the same urge had come over him at the bar, it could easily be dismissed as the product of too much alcohol and trips down memory lane. There were a million different ways he could trivialize the urge he had felt all night to just drag Matt away from the prying eyes of friends and family and kiss him properly.

Except he didn't want to excuse it. He didn't want to ignore it. In fact right now, sitting in the dark of his family dining room, he was seriously regretting not following that instinct altogether. He wasn't possibly developing feelings for Matt again as he had told himself in Bowling Green. He _had _feelings for Matt; real ones that went way beyond the line of friendship.

He wanted Matt back. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Being friends wasn't enough, if it ever was. A flash of guilt shot through him as his mind eye's flickered towards Austin. Now he could see what everyone had told him countless times before and Kurt had shrugged off. He couldn't deny there were similarities between the two anymore. Had he merely been with Austin just because he had reminded him of Matt? Kurt didn't want to think he had been that shallow and that unintentionally cruel but it was certainly possible. After all he had initially hesitated about moving in with Austin because he couldn't stop thinking about Matt asking that question. Kurt buried his head in his hands. He was officially a terrible person and Austin deserved so much better than him.

What exactly was he supposed to do here? Just walk up to Matt and announce he wanted to get back together? To hell with they were still going to different schools and they were still going to be in different schools next year? That even though they would be even poorer than they were right now and have to focus even more than they ever did to reach their dreams; they could also throw in a long distance relationship? Or was he supposed to suggest they find schools in the same city so they could at least see each other at night?

Mercedes and Leah, hell everyone in his family and friends would probably tell him that was _exactly_ what he should do. If any of them even had an inkling of what he was contemplating they would probably drive him over to the Changs right now so he could tell Matt before he chickened out completely. And maybe it was what he needed to do and if Matt felt the same way, Kurt would have no problem at all making the first move.

But did Matt feel the same way? Kurt knew he hadn't imagined the fact they had almost kissed. But was it just euphoria on Matt's part? Matt hadn't thought he would be accepted to the University of Chicago after all. And although Kurt knew Matt would never admit it, he knew it was probably his dream school and dream program. The feelings of disbelief, accomplishment, pride and relief must have rolled into one unidentifiable wave. Matt probably didn't know what he was feeling at that moment. For all Kurt knew Matt had been embarrassed and thankful Finn had run in when he did.

If he went over to the Changs right now, told Matt how he felt and Matt didn't feel the same way? Kurt wasn't exactly sure how he would survive it. Their break up had been mutual and while their friends didn't understand it, they reluctantly supported it. If he put his heart on the line and Matt rejected it, the fall out wouldn't only hurt them, it would divide their friends. And Kurt wasn't about to expose Matt to a Mercedes Jones neck popping, finger wagging, lecture if he could help it.

He needed to be sure. He needed to know Matt felt the same way. A sign. Any sign at this point, even one as completely ridiculous as getting into a school that was in the same city that Matt's dream program was in. Then he would tell Matt the truth.

But not a second before then.


	51. Chapter 51

**Just to clarify...Grilled Chessus never happened. and this is the LAST of my planned major time jumps. **

It had taken him nearly eight years, but Matt had finally discovered the reason why his admittedly obsessive (and necessary) desire to plan out almost every second of his life was actually a good thing. Because while the rest of his friends hit their final semester in college and promptly began to freak out over what exactly they were going to do next year, he had been ahead of the game. Sure, somewhere he was pretty sure it was bad manners to brag or do a happy dance over it, but it was true. He was still freaked out, but it was more of a concrete freaking out over real things like moving, starting a new school, applying for a new job and apartment hunting. Tangible things that, with a little luck he would eventually solve. He already had the big "oh shit what am I going to do now" crisis years ago.

So he had actually been able to relax a little during exam time, a fact that had Terry swearing he was going to take out a contract hit on his life. And while he seriously doubted his friend really had any contacts in the criminal underworld, Matt had seen enough crime related television to know hitmen were apparently fairly easy to find and dirt cheap. (The report on the hitman that had been offered 8 collectors Atari games could still keep him up at night and he saw that going on three years ago.) So with his classes winding down, Matt had taken to studying outside whenever possible and only being home when Clara was with him.

Thankfully the weather had decided to cooperate with his plans, because instead of the nearly oppressive heat that usually marked the change of season from what passed as spring (generally just a slightly warmer winter) to summer. Balancing his laptop on his knees, Matt started to click through his Facebook updates. As he could have guessed, most of his friends had just typed in a few hurried words about exams or studying. Artie had apparently already been broken by what he had termed "exam psychosis" as his status update was merely a string of random letters. Quinn actually hadn't posted anything other than a terse warning not to interrupt her studying two weeks ago. Even Finn had given in to the pressure of the time and stopped posting new pictures of little Chris every day. Actually Matt did kind of miss those daily picture spams. Chris was one adorable baby.

Per usual, even though he tried not to do it, Matt found himself looking at the last update from Kurt's feed. Now that was another situation all together. Sure Kurt had posted his own variation on the "Holy shit the end of the semester is here again" status update. And they had been in pretty constant contact even if they hadn't seen each other since Thanksgiving. There was nothing to really base it on except an unshakable feeling that there was something Kurt wasn't telling him. And whatever it was, it was something major.

It wasn't like he hadn't tried to figure it out by asking Kurt. After all that was the logical solution to the problem and they were friends after all. _Friends_. Matt felt his lips purse at the mere thought of the word. More times than he liked to admit, he had found himself replaying that brief moment in the waiting room right before Finn literally crashed the party. If he had leaned forward less than inch more than he had, and it wouldn't be musing wonderings of what might have happened that would keep him up at night. More like memories of how far things could have gone if they hadn't have been in the middle of the waiting room of a hospital.

He thanked God ever single night that for whatever reason, for the first time since freshman year, no one actually had paid them the least bit of attention that night. For one thing, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt Puck would have made some outright offensive joke while Santana would have said something about getting a room. And forget about trying to figure anything out just between him and Kurt. There probably would have been a damn summit conference in the waiting room. And it didn't take a genius to figure out none of their friends would just let it drop, given their unending supply of "helpful suggestions" in the past four years.

They were really going to be absolutely impossible if they found they were actually right.

Matt could be honest with himself that since Chicago he had been thinking more and more about Kurt and exactly what their relationship even was at this point. Friends didn't seem strong enough but they certainly weren't dating. At least Matt didn't think they were. Clara had some strong opinions that they were, as she put it, "cyber dating chickenshits" but letting Clara think she was right was just as dangerous as agreeing with Rachel. He could admit he was damn confused about what exactly he wanted from Kurt right now, and he could also admit that it was probably a really really bad idea to even think about starting a relationship right now when in all probability they were both going to be leaving Ohio almost as soon as graduation was over. Not that Kurt had told anyone that specifically, but it was an announcement everyone was waiting for.

His musings were cut short by the ringing of his phone. Looking down at the caller ID screen, he blinked in confusion. Puck? Why the hell was Puck calling him? They may be friends, but Matt could probably count on one hand the number of times Puck had called him since they left McKinley. "Puck? Dude what's going on?"

"Matty?"

Shaking his head, Matt pulled the phone away from his ear to double check the caller ID. Yeah, it still said Puck. So why in the name of all that was good and holy was his sister calling him from _Puck's_ phone? "Leah? Why the hell are you calling me from Puck's phone?"

"That's not important right now. Listen Matt…"

"Oh no I beg to differ. I think it's pretty damn important. In fact I think it might be the most important damn thing on Earth right now."

"Matt, shut up for just a minute. I swear why I'm calling from Puck's phone isn't important but what I have to say is."

"It just doesn't make any sense." Matt continued, ignoring his sister's pleading. "And I'm sorry I'm not going to just drop this. Not until you tell me the whole story."

"Matt." Leah's exasperation cut through the phone. "Burt collapsed in the garage. He's at the hospital and they think it's a heart attack."

For the second time during the phone call, Matt nearly dropped his phone to the ground. Burt? Heart attack? Those words shouldn't go together. Burt Hummel was such a towering presence in his own life that Matt had a hard time thinking of the man even catching a cold, much less having a heart attack. He'd never tell Kurt for a million years, but one of his favorite study procrastination games was going to the Chuck Norris Fact Generator and substituting Burt's name for Chuck Norris. The two were remarkably similar after all. "They think….they think it's a heart attack?"

"It's a lot of confusion right now and I don't think the doctors have even talked to Carole yet. I'm here at the garage trying to help Puck and call people. So I don't know everything."

"Ok. Ok. I'm sorry. I just….I don't know what to say."

"It's fine." Matt could almost see Leah wave off his apology. "I just thought you should know. I mean Kurt, Finn and Courtney were on their way. And Puck's trying to hold down the garage so maybe you could let everyone else know? I'm sure Kurt and Finn won't think of it and I wouldn't trust Puck's announcement skills in this situation."

"Yeah. Yeah. I'll let everyone know." His fingers were already flying over the keyboard, sending out a mass Facebook message. He'd call everyone as soon as he hung up with Leah. "You call me about anything ok?"

"Yeah. I will. I love you Matty." Leah whispered.

"I love you too Lee." Matt responded back equally soft as he hung up the phone. He was half tempted to call Kurt but thought the better of it. Kurt was likely driving and already hanging on by a thread. If Kurt spared one second more attention to worrying about his dad than getting back to Lima in one piece, well Matt didn't want to think too closely about what the consequences might be. Although, knowing Kurt the way he did, Matt could admit the odds of Kurt ending up in the hospital for exhaustion from this were probably pretty high.

Without a conscious decision to do it, Matt found himself standing up, grabbing his laptop. He may be confused as to what exactly he wanted his relationship to be, or at least he didn't want to admit to himself, but he knew he didn't want Kurt to be alone right now. Finn had Courtney and Chris. Carole would be too busy dealing with doctors. He knew what Kurt would do. He'd suffer quietly in the hospital, trying to not draw attention to himself because Burt needed it more. Fucking hell, he'd stop eating again. Matt couldn't let that happen.

He was going to Lima.


	52. Chapter 52

He wasn't supposed to be back here, in _this_ hospital, under _these_ circumstances. That was the deal. His dad was going to stay healthy and he wasn't going to have to sit in this horrible waiting room with it's terrible lighting that nothing good for anyone's skin tones. Someday in the future Kurt knew he would realize this was a foolish and highly illogical idea but right now he didn't care. His dad was behind those double doors of absolute doom, no one had come out to tell them anything and he could not stop his mind from going to the worst case scenario immediately.

They hadn't come out to talk them yet because things were so much worse than anyone suspected. That had to be it. After all Puck had been with him when he collapsed. And while Kurt knew Puck had many good qualities underneath his bad ass image, being an accurate medical diagnostician wasn't one of them. From what Carole had been able to piece together, his dad had been complaining about "heartburn" off and on all day at the garage. If Puck had realized it wasn't just heartburn earlier would they be here right now? Kurt shook his head. That wasn't fair to his old friend. Even if Puck had called earlier, Kurt knew his father. Burt Hummel could out stubborn a mule. He probably would have insisted it was nothing. Which was apparently exactly what he did up to the minute he collapsed on the garage floor.

He had to get up. Had to move. Just sitting in these hard, uncomfortable and soul-crushingly ugly chairs was driving him slightly insane. The hospital seriously didn't expect him to just _sit_ there did they? Alright maybe he couldn't do anything medically to help the situation (well maybe design a new style of hospital gown because unexpected ugly back was good for _no one's_ health) but at least he would know what was going on.

"What's taking so long?" He grumbled under his breath. "They should have been out here to tell us _something_ by now."

"They'll be out when they have news." Courtney said calmly from the spot on the floor she had carved out for herself and Christopher. Kurt managed a distracted smile at his nephew, who was trying to figure out how this crawling thing worked. He would look like he had just about managed to figure it out before he would fall back. Chris would then look up at the closest adult near him with a look that clearly said _"Ok wait a second I almost had that. What went wrong?" _Glancing slightly to the left, he saw Finn give a similar distracted smile to his son while he kept one hand firmly in Carole's.

Carole. Kurt winced when he saw how ashen his stepmother's face was. She shouldn't have to go through this. _Again_. He went over to the empty seat next to her, kissing her cheek as he sat down. Carole managed a small smile and stroked his cheek in return. "I'm sorry. I've never been very good with waiting."

"This is one time when I think that's ok." Courtney smiled as she stood up, scooping Chris up in her arms and handing him over to Finn. "I'm going to go find coffee for everyone ok? And if I'm feeling lucky, some food that doesn't resemble the plastic food in a toy store."

"Courtney, you don't have to do that honey." Carole managed softly as Chris grabbed one of her fingers and promptly began to try to eat it.

"Number one I want to do this." Courtney rebuked her mother-in-law gently. "Besides you all have never seen Finn try to take care of Chris by himself. If that doesn't distract you nothing will. Just don't let him drop Chris?"

"That _almost_ happened once." Finn protested. "And I caught him."

"Yes you did sweetheart." Courtney smiled as she leaned down to kiss his forehead. "But I only want one member of our family in the hospital at a time ok?"

"Fine." Finn grumbled good naturedly. Kurt and Carole couldn't help but share a smile at the exchange. It might have taken everyone by surprise but marriage to Courtney and fatherhood was clearly the best thing that ever happened to his stepbrother.

"I have my cell on so call me if we get any news ok? I won't be long." With another quick kiss to Chris and Finn, Courtney slipped out the waiting room and down the hallway.

It had been a long time since Kurt had felt the once familiar pangs of jealousy towards Finn. In the years since their parents had first started dating, he had learned to accept that he and Finn would have different experiences in life and it didn't mean one was going to be better than the other. But right now, Kurt had never been as jealous of Finn as he was right now. It was beyond how he felt when his dad and Finn first started to bond over sports. Right now, Finn had exactly what Kurt wanted. Someone to be there for him. Someone to who would do things like run and get coffee and hold his hand. Someone who could figure out ways to distract him enough so he wouldn't feel like every minute lasted an hour.

He could pull out his phone and call any number of friends who would come running to sit by his side right now. Mercedes would be in her car before he finished telling her what happened. Rachel would come prepared with a selection of songs that were both uplifting and soothing. Puck was probably going to arrive as soon as he got the garage closed and Leah wouldn't be far behind him. Briefly Kurt tried to puzzle out how exactly Leah had gotten to the garage and why it seemed she was helping Puck in the first place, but he figured it was a puzzle better left for another day. All it would take is one phone call but he could summon the energy up to even pick up his phone and find a single contact number.

"There you are." Kurt whipped his head up at the sound of the familiar voice. It wasn't possible. The worry and stress of the day had finally caused him mind to crack beyond repair. Because there was no way he was seeing Matt walking into the waiting room right now. "This was the fourth room I looked in and I was so close to giving up."

"Matt?" Kurt stood up, a little embarrassed to be shaking but at least it was easily excusable due to the circumstances. "What….what are you doing here?"

"Leah called me." Matt explained as he came closer to them. "I sent out messages to everyone else and I'm sure half of them are ready to kill me right now since my phone pretty much died after I left. And I would have been here earlier but I had to stop at the Changs. And Finn, they say there's room for you three if you need it. Well all of you actually. And Susan will show up with food at some point tonight."

"Thanks." Finn managed as Kurt took another step closer to Matt. When he was close enough, he reached out to grab Matt's hand, just to make sure this was real. The reassuring squeeze Matt gave him seemed real enough.

"What are you doing here? What about your exams?"

"You know the thing about majoring in psychology? Your professors tend to be touchy feely types. And I only had a like two left anyway. Don't worry about it. It's better I'm here than driving Leah crazy with constant phone calls." Matt shrugged. "But what about you? How are you doing?"

How are you doing? Kurt figured he had probably been asked those four words at least seven times an hour by one nurse or another since he arrived. This was the first time Kurt actually felt someone cared about his answer. Taking a shaky breath he ignored the voice in his head that said this was a bad idea. A dangerous idea. Right now it was the best idea and it was the only thing he could think of that would make him feel remotely normal enough to handle this. He pulled himself towards Matt, wrapping his arms around the other man's waist. There wasn't nearly the height difference between them as there once was but Matt still had him by a few inches. Kurt closed his eyes and willed himself to relax when he felt Matt circle his arms around his back.

He could barely manage a nod as he heard Matt whisper softly to him. "Whatever you need Kurt. Whatever you need ok? You just tell me."


	53. Chapter 53

**Ok I have been shameful in that I have alerted you all to two truly awesomesauce Katt stories. Both here on this lovely site. First...Anthem for the American Teenager by LoveKricket. OMG you all soo sooo good. And then there is Only in My Dreams by Spookykat. PSYHIC!Matt you all! you can't not love that. you just can't!**

It had taken her far longer than it was probably polite to actually make her way to the hospital. Even if she was fairly sure this was one time, people didn't really care what time you showed up, just the fact that you did show up in the first place. However to make up for her tardiness, Leah held a container filled with Susan Chang's famous double chocolate chocolate chip cookies. She figured there was better than even money odds on even Kurt ignoring his no sugar after eight rule in favor of these pieces of heaven.

The nurse down the hall had sworn this was the most likely waiting room for the Hummel-Hudson family to be in. It was closest to the room Burt had been finally moved to and she doubted anyone was leaving tonight, save maybe Courtney for the sake of Chris. It also had the distinction of being the largest waiting room on the floor, which was a blessing since Leah was pretty sure it would be full of family and friends as soon as morning dawned. Her brother's phone may have died (how decidedly typical of Matt, she had rolled her eyes when she discovered it earlier that day) but all of his friends of high school certainly had Puck's number. Between trying to finish up the day's work at the garage, calling the other mechanics and fielding phone calls from concerned friends, Puck hadn't gotten a chance to even begin to process what had happened today. When she had left him an hour ago, she had a very strong suspicion if she hadn't forced him to go home, he would have slept in the office at the back of the garage.

Of course right now she wasn't supposed to be thinking about one Noah Puckerman. She was here to check on Kurt and Finn and Carole. And to see what the hell her brother was thinking. Or better yet to see if he was still going to try to claim this was just what a friend did when another friend was having a crisis. Leah knew better than most people how stubborn her brother could be, but if he couldn't admit his feelings after this? She was officially giving up on any hope for him. For all his brains, she was going to declare Matt officially incompetent.

The lights in the waiting room were low, apparently to encourage the inhabitants to sleep if they could. And while she doubted anyone really was sleeping, or even sleeping well, Leah still crept into the room as quietly as she could. A quick glance and she found Finn easily enough. He had laid claim to one of the couches along the back wall of the room. She couldn't tell from where she stood if he was actually asleep or had just closed his eyes, but she wasn't about to disturb him to find out. There was no one along the row of chairs underneath the glass partition to her right. Turning to her left, she smiled as she found her brother easily enough. He was the one Kurt was currently using as a pillow.

Matt was going to be one big ball of discomfort tomorrow if he stayed in that position all night. His head was resting against the wall, his neck tilted to side as his body was twisted into the corner of one seriously plastic looking couch. His legs might have been fine if they were fully extended but they were at an angle. Clearly her brother had been thinking more of Kurt's comfort than his own when he assumed this position. And since it hurt her just looking at it, there was no way in hell her brother was actually asleep right now. She made her way over to him, kissing his cheek as she sat down. "I brought cookies."

"Double chocolate chocolate chip?" Matt asked as he opened his eyes.

"What else?" Leah laughed as she placed the container on the table next to her. "Is he actually asleep? I don't want to wake him up if he is."

"Don't worry about it." Matt waved off her concern with his left hand. "He could probably sleep through a hurricane if he wanted to."

"And I'm going to pretend I don't know how you know that." Leah nodded as she settled back into her chair. "What do you know?"

"It was a heart attack. The drugs seem to help but they are going to want to do surgery tomorrow morning. Carole's back there now."

"Did Finn and Kurt get to see him? Where are Courtney and JoBeth?"

"Courtney took Chris and picked up JoBeth from her friend's house. She's going to stay with her at the house tonight and bring her in the morning. Kurt and Finn saw Burt briefly before he fell asleep."

"Ok good. I'll stop by and see if Courtney needs any help in the morning before I go to school. Lord knows taking care of an infant and getting JoBeth ready at the same time has to be a chore."

"Courtney's a multi-tasker by nature. She 's superwoman."

"Hey I thought that was me. I mean I bought the costume and everything."

"Poor baby."

"I'm sorry I couldn't get here any earlier. But the garage was crazy and since your phone died….."

"Sorry I didn't realize it till I was on the road." Matt apologized. "But now that you mentioned it, why exactly where you at the garage and calling me from Puck's phone?"

"I didn't mention that."

"Close enough." Matt shrugged. "And for real, I wouldn't think it weird if you were calling me from the garage but it was Puck's phone. You two are barely friends and he gave you his phone? I never saw him let girls he actually dated use his phone."

"Oh you are exaggerating. You couldn't have possibly seen all the girls he dated."

"Alright I haven't but still. It's just weird. Did your phone die and you were charging it or something?"

"Or something…" Leah looked down at her feet, suddenly determined to figure which spots on the floor were part of the pattern and what were probably items she never ever wanted to know about.

There were times when Matt was completely oblivious to those around him. And usually during those times occurred when he was around Kurt. After all being in complete denial about one's feelings did take up a lot of energy. Unfortunately for Leah, this was the rare fucking time Kurt using Matt as a bloody pillow didn't dull Matt's senses to the point of nothing. As best he could manage it without disturbing the sleeping man in his lap, Matt twisted himself to look at his sister. "Leah? Is there something you want to tell me?"

"It's nothing really. This isn't the time to talk about it. And there's nothing to talk about."

"Right now is a great time to talk about anything that doesn't involve heart attacks and surgery. And I doubt I'll actually sleep tonight so that's excuse is out as well. And generally, when someone says there's nothing to talk about, there is. So start talking because I need a distraction."

"From the fact you're totally still in love with the person who's sound asleep in your lap and you totally risked your graduation by coming down here like you did?"

"Oh you really must not want to talk about it if you're trying that card already." Matt laughed. "So you now you have to tell me because I'm not going to stop. And as previously established, I'm not likely to sleep tonight."

"Matt."

"Leah."

"Come on, we don't need to talk about this."

"Yeah I think we do." Matt leaned his head closer to her. "Tell me or I start singing the song that never ends."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me." Matt lifted his eyebrows as the siblings started to engage in a starring contest. After a brief minute Matt leaned forward even more. "This is the song that…"

"Stop it…."

"Never ends. Yes it goes…"

"I mean it Matthew I will kick you so hard."

"On and on my friends. Some people started singing it…"

"I will show Kurt your baby pictures."

"You already did that years ago." Matt pointed out before continuing. "Not knowing what it was. And they'll continue singing it forever just because this is…"

"I'm kinda dating Puck."

"Wh…..wh….you're what?" If it wasn't for the fact Kurt was sleeping right now Matt would have jumped up from the couch. "What? Since when?"

"Dating might be a strong word for it. And since the start of the school year."

"Since….you…you've been kinda….dating ….Puck…kinda dating…..this….school year." Matt shook his head. "And how the hell is dating a strong word?"

"It may be closer to friends with benefits."

"_Oh. Oh_. You could have just lied. I didn't need to hear _that_."

"Matty honey you kinda need to breathe right now."

"I kinda need to do a lot of things like figure out what the hell is going on right now." Matt shot back. "Number one do I want to know the actual story of how this happened?"

"Probably not. Let's just say Susan gave me some advice and I took it."

"Oh great. Susan's involved. Which means she'll be all about telling me how this is a good thing." Matt sighed. "Is it a good thing? Because if it's not, I need to go kick Puck's ass."

"It is a good thing. Even if I'm not sure exactly _what_ is right now. Which is a big part of the reason why I didn't tell you in the first place. Just for right now, whatever this is works for me and I want you to be happy for me. And I want you to remember that _you're_ the one that's friends with Puck and you've been telling me for years he's not really a bad guy."

"Of all the things we ever talk about, _that _is what you listen to me about." Matt exhaled deeply. "Ok I think we'll have to talk about this more, but no details, and we need to talk tomorrow. I'm stuck on shock right now and that's not good."

"Fair enough." Leah nodded. "But if we're talking about my love life? Then we are also talking about the real reason you came down here."

"Leah….."

"Hey" She threw her hands up in the air and fixed her best innocent expression to her face. "A deal's a deal. You don't get to pry on mine if I can't pry on yours."

"You pry in mine all the time."

"Details."


	54. Chapter 54

If the night before had been torturous, it was nothing compared to the following day. It didn't matter the seemingly unending parade of doctors told them the surgery was fairly routine and there was nothing to worry about. And it for sure didn't matter that his dad had said the same thing not even three hours ago, minutes before he was wheeled down the hall to the increasingly terrifying sounding pre-op area. Right now all Kurt could really concentrate on was the fact that right now his father was sitting on an operating table while complete strangers _worked on his heart._

The nurses last night had advised them all this would take awhile. That they should find something to distract themselves during the wait. Nothing was working. The magazines Courtney brought over had been flipped through within the first twenty minutes. Kurt reasoned if push came to shove, he probably could look at them again. After all he didn't remember a damn thing he had just seen. The TV in the corner had some bland, unobjectionable movie playing softly but he couldn't bring himself to watch it. Anything that required him to actually pay attention to plot was probably a bad idea. He had never thought there would be a day when he would yearn for the narrative complexity of _The Jersey Shore_ but there it was. Music might help but he had left his IPod in his Navigator and there was no way in hell Kurt was leaving, even just for a minute, in case anything happened; so he was stuck with the piped in muzak that was supposed to soothing instead of irritating.

Right now he craved distraction and even if that meant having a debate with Puck over the merits of one brand of power tools over another, he would welcome it.

"Kurt? I know you're worried but if you don't calm down a little bit you're going to be next person in the operating room." Courtney pointed out as she sat down next to him. Her thin hand slipped behind him and immediately started a gentle massage on the back of his neck.

"I can't just calm down Courtney." He pointed out, a bit more sharply than he intended. He knew Courtney was just as worried as he was but right now all he could think was _This isn't your family little girl. Back off._ It was petty, mean and more than a little selfish, but Kurt never claimed he wasn't all of those things on his best day. This was far from his best day. "I'm sorry. I know you're worried too. I shouldn't have snapped like that."

"We're family now. I almost think it's a rite of passage to snap at each other. I mean how long was it before you and Finn started being all snippy with each other after your parents got married?"

"Snippy? What? We were not thirteen year old girls." Kurt huffed before he considered her question. "And I think it was the day after the wedding."

"See? So that was just much delayed. No harm. No foul. And I know you're worried. And scared. But the best doctors in Lima are back right now with your dad."

"I know that. I keep trying to tell myself that." Kurt sighed as he felt his muscles begin to unclench as Courtney continued her soothing motions. "You are really good at this you know?"

"So Finn tells me." Kurt didn't have to look over at her to see the smirk on her face. It was all in her voice.

"Oh that was just too much detail."

"But it did make you think of something else for a minute right? So it worked." Courtney shrugged her shoulders unconcerned. "If it distracts you we can continue talking about that…."

"May I have to no choice but to shop at Wal Mart for the rest of my life."

"Or we can talk about the completely romantic fact Matt came here for you."

"Not you too." Kurt groaned. He had already received a too knowing look from Carole this morning and an all-together too pleased with herself smirk from Leah when she dropped in on her way to work. He had entertained hope that Courtney only having experience with Matt as his friend would spare him this type of conversation. He could barely handle it before he realized his own feelings for Matt. Handling it now was likely to prove impossible. "I didn't think Finn would corrupt you so quickly."

"Honey your mistake was in thinking Finn would be able to keep quiet about this. And really Mercedes and Rachel told me everything that first Christmas party I came to. But whatever to all that. He came here without you calling. Leah just asked him to call everyone else. He came for you Kurt."

Instinctively, Kurt looked around the waiting room to make sure Matt couldn't hear the conversation. Of course it was a little ridiculous since Kurt knew Matt had gone down the hall in search of a Wi-Fi connection. St. Rita's had come a long way since the days Kurt vaguely remembered visiting his mom here, but it didn't mean it was completely technologically up to date. (A fact Kurt was trying very hard to ignore right now, since clearly, father in the middle of a major surgery at the moment) And while Matt's professors may be understanding of the situation, it didn't mean Matt could exactly ignore the whole finals thing completely. Not would Kurt want him to.

"I can't think about that right now." Kurt answered simply. If he allowed himself to consider that Matt had in fact come back home and risked his academic future just to support him for longer than a few minutes, there was no way he could handle it. The mere possibility that Matt may possibly feel the same way as he did was too much to handle. Sure he had hoped that was the case. Maybe dreamed it a time or two in the past few months. But the chance of his dreams and reality colliding in this surreal set of circumstances was too much right now. Matt might think he was merely leaning on him out of fear of what could go wrong with his father. And while that was certainly a part of it, Kurt knew it wasn't the truth. Unfortunately right now he couldn't think of a way to convince Matt otherwise. If he ever got the chance to try to convince him otherwise that was. "If I think about that right now I might go crazy. Crazier."

"You could think about it later. And we can definitely talk about it later. We both know once Mercedes gets here and finds out about this, you _will_ talk about it. Just like Matt's probably trying to avoid Leah for the same reason. Well that and he just found out she's dating Puck." Courtney added the last bit with a wave of her hand.

"What? Leah's dating Puck? Why am I just finding out about this and how do you know it before me?"

"Leah and I talked while we were getting JoBeth and Chris ready this morning." Courtney shrugged. "Apparently they don't really want to say they are dating in the first place so that's probably why no one really knows about it. But that's not important right now. What is important is you can think about it and talk about it and likely over-analyze it to death. Like you do. Or you can accept certain facts and go from there."

"And what certain facts are that?"

"One, the only reason Matt came here and risked not graduating is he really does love you. Two, the only time I or anyone else saw you remotely calm last night and this morning was when Matt was right next to you. And three, from what I've been able to figure out talking and thinking got you into this whole thing in the first place, so I strongly suggest you remember fact four."

"Fact four?"

Courtney smiled at him, amusement etched onto every inch of her features. "The story I was told says you two do much better when you act first and think later. So I suggest that when we find out Burt is going to be just fine, you take Matt some place private and act."


	55. Chapter 55

"I'm serious kiddo. Get out of here." Burt Hummel's voice was weak from a combination of the stress of the past two days and the apparent mountain of medications the doctors deemed necessary to keep him healthy, but he still strove to keep that authoritative tone Kurt had learned long ago to not argue with. "You look worse than me and that's saying something."

"Like anyone with sense trusts your eye on what looks good." Kurt shot back, trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy. He had heard the doctors perfectly fine when they said the surgery had gone perfectly and that with time his dad would be back to his normal, although slightly altered, routine before they all knew it. It was just a little hard to believe when he actually saw his dad laying in that hospital bed, somehow looking small and worn. His dad always been lumped in with the gods and goddess of Greek mythology in his mind: strong, gigantic, all knowing and immortal. Seeing him actually look frail was going to be a sight that never full left Kurt, no matter how many years may go by. "You're just cranky because you can't hide behind your baseball hat right now."

"Enough you two." Carole shook her head, a tired smile on her face. If the first night she had looked as if she had doubled her age overnight, right now she looked even younger than she did on her wedding day. Squeezing her husband's hand, she stood up and kissed Kurt's forehead. "You should go home and get some rest sweetheart. You haven't slept well in the past two days. Everything is fine now. Go get some sleep."

"I'm fine." Kurt protested out of habit more than conviction.

"You're running on fumes. You're the only one who hasn't taken a break this entire time. Go home. You heard the doctor. All he's going to do tonight is sleep." Looking down at Burt, they exchanged a smile as they saw he had done precisely that. From the look of him, he was probably no more than thirty minutes away from snoring and annoying everyone else on the cardiac floor. Carole looked back at Kurt. "See? He's fine. I'll call you if anything changes."

"It's just…." Kurt sighed. "I know I should but I don't know if I physically can. If that even makes sense."

"It makes perfect sense. This whole thing has been scary and at least here you're close." Carole nodded, a move he had seen her do many times to other patients on another floor in this very hospital. "But you're no good to anyone if you're worn out. And I know you still have some finals you have to take."

"Just some core stuff. I already turned in my stuff for my major."

"Still, the last thing your dad and I want is for you to not graduate. Go home. Get some sleep. If you can't, then do some studying. Just get out of here for the night. Actually, come with me." Carole pulled him out into the hallway and down towards the waiting room. Spotting the object of her search, she dragged them both in front of the chair where Matt sat putting his stuff together. "Matt, just who I was looking for."

"Yes?" Matt looked between Carole and Kurt, looking for some hint as to what exactly was going on here. Kurt could only offer a shrug and waved his hand towards his stepmother.

"I need you take Kurt home for me. " Carole ignored the way both Matt and Kurt's mouths dropped at her statement. "He needs to get out of here and with the little sleep he's been getting the past two days I would feel much better if someone else drove him."

"Well, yeah...I mean …I guess…." Matt stammered. "Sure I can take him home."

"Excellent. That's settled quite nicely." Carole smiled as she leaned over to kiss Kurt's cheek. "I don't want to see you back here before ten tomorrow. Do you understand me?"

"Yeah. Ten." Kurt nodded, his eyes still locked with Matt's.

"Good. Now go you two. Get out of here."

* * *

Matt wasn't quite sure which was a worse idea at the moment. Being alone with Kurt at the house they had both spent so much time in and where ghosts could waylay them at any minute or blatantly ignoring Carole's logical and completely reasonable request. On the one hand, history had demonstrated that when he was confused as to what to do about his feelings for Kurt, being alone with him tended to lead to his not thinking things through. _At all_. On the other hand, an angry Carole Hummel was a terrifying Hummel. Matt would rather face down a mob of angry comic book fans who held him personally responsible for ruining the X-Men movies than deal with an angry Carole Hummel.

So he had picked what he had _thought_ was the lesser of two evils. Of course since he had thought it, obviously it had to go to the exact opposite way he had planned. He had planned on taking Kurt home, making sure everything was fine and then beating a hasty retreat to the Chang house. Then he remembered Finn, Courtney and Chris were currently camped out there and JoBeth was spending the night at the neighbors. He couldn't really leave Kurt completely alone at a time like this. Well he could, he just would feel terribly guilty about it and likely return later on tonight, which was a whole other can of worms.

The solution was clearly just to stay until Kurt told him to leave for the night. It just didn't seem that was happening any time soon.

They were sitting on Kurt's bed in the basement, a flood of memories Matt was trying not to think about too closely all around them. The couch where they had ended up the night he moved in with the Changs still stood in the same place. While it was a fraction of the collection it was, Matt could still see the familiar titles of movies they had debated for hours. And he would really rather not think about what they had done in this bed at the moment. Thinking about that really wasn't conducive for keeping things in the supportive friend zone. Sure he could admit to himself he wanted more than just a friendship from Kurt, but this wasn't the time to bring that subject up.

Matt tried to find a safe subject, one that wouldn't bring about any thoughts of hospitals, heart attacks and unresolved feelings. Their conversation hadn't been much since they left the hospital and as always, it wasn't uncomfortable but Matt couldn't help but feel he should say something at this point.

As if he had read his mind, Kurt took a deep breath. "Do you ever wish you could just stop thinking about things?"

"Depends on the thoughts I guess. I would really love to stop thinking about some of those crappy songs Terry plays at top volume in the car."

Kurt smiled softly. "That wasn't exactly what I was talking about."

"Ok. What thoughts can't you stop thinking about?"

"I should be thinking about how grateful I am that my dad's going to be ok. I should be thankful he got to the hospital on time and that he has Carole with him right now. But all I can think about is how close I came to losing him."

"That's totally normal to think about. And this is from someone who's going to continue to study psychology so you know it has to be true."

Kurt continued, ignoring Matt's joke. It was as if he had spent the time from the hospital until now composing this speech and he just needed to get it out before he lost his nerve. "And then when I think about how close I came to losing him, I start thinking about all the things I would have regretted not telling him. Things I'm sure he knows but it's good to say. And then I start thinking about everyone else I have things I would want them to know if anything ever happened. For the most part I'm pretty sure everyone knows exactly how I feel about them. Except for one person."

There was something in the way Kurt was looking at him and something about his voice that made Matt catch his own breath. "And who's that?"

It seemed Kurt debated with himself for a good minute before he continued. "You."

"Me? Kurt I know…"

"No you don't. You're my best friend in some many ways and I don't want to ruin that but I can't keep this quiet any more. The only reason I'm still standing right now is because _you_ came home. I could not have gotten through this without you. Well there are a lot of things I couldn't have done without you."

"Kurt you would have been fine without me. You're the strongest person I know."

"You never could take a compliment." Kurt chuckled as he grabbed Matt's hand and laced their fingers together. "I've been thinking about this for a long time now and I wasn't going to say anything because I didn't know if you felt the same way. And I know it sounds insane but after this, I can't just ignore it anymore. And before you say anything, this isn't just a lack of sleep or being overemotional right now."

"Say what Kurt?"

"I don't want to be just friends anymore. I want us to be us again."

Matt barely had time to blink before Kurt moved in and kissed him soundly on the lips. He reacted on instinct, kissing the other man back resting one hand against his jaw line and the other wrapping itself around Kurt's waist. He deepened the kiss, nibbling Kurt's bottom lip as Kurt pressed himself closer against Matt's body. A heady mixture of familiarity and newness crashed over them both as they fought against the pressing need to actually breathe. They pressed on, determined to discover if every detail was exactly as they remembered it or if time had changed it. When their lungs nearly burned with the need for oxygen, they finally parted, their foreheads resting against each other.

"I'm taking this as agreeing with me?" Kurt questioned softly, his eyes still closed.

Matt nodded. "Good guess."

"Remember when you first came to the hospital? And you told me whatever I needed? I just had to say it?"

"Yeah?"

"You. I need you." Kurt whispered pulling them both down on the bed.

"That I can help with."


	56. Chapter 56

**So glad you all liked the last chapter. i had this feeling it would meet your approval. Hope this keeps that happy feeling going.**

The advantage to living in the basement was a person was not woken up at the first sign of daylight. This became important, Kurt realized sleepily as he slowly blinked his eyes open, when you had spent a large portion of the night not _exactly_ sleeping. He wasn't complaining by any stretch of the imagination; he would just prefer to be awoken for more _pleasurable_ reasons. Stretching his arms out in front of him, conscious of the still sleeping form behind him whose arm was draped around Kurt's waist, Kurt felt a smile cross his lips. There was no way he was going to forget last night for anything in the world.

He wasn't quite sure which part of him had taken over his mouth last night when he started out his halting, rambling confession. His brain had pleaded with his mouth to just shut up and suddenly become mute. Of all the people in the world, Matt would be the last one to wonder why someone decided to voluntarily be quiet. But the stream of words just wouldn't stop coming. At some point clearly his brain had been shut off for good because there was no way if he had thought about it for longer than a nanosecond, that he would have kissed Matt without knowing Matt felt the same way. It was one thing to lay one's cards all out on the table and discuss it. It was another thing entirely to lay it all out there and take action when it could go horribly wrong.

But it didn't. Everything went wonderfully, beautifully, perfectly and whatever gushing sickeningly ecstatic word his brain would be able to think up after he fully woke up (and maybe after he slept longer than say four hours at the most) right. Letting his instincts take over was the best damn decision he had ever made.

Matt shifted behind him almost imperceptibly, save a brief tightening of the arm draped around Kurt's waist. Stilling for a moment, Kurt held his breath, not wanting to wake Matt if he wasn't already in the process. After all they_ both_ hadn't gotten much sleep last night. He could feel the slight increase in breath that accompanied waking tickle the back of his neck. "Morning."

"Is it morning?"Matt yawned. "Being down here always screws with my sense of time."

Chancing a glance towards the glowing lights on the alarm clock on the nightstand, Kurt smiled as he turned around to face Matt. "After eleven. Still morning."

"Morning it is then." Matt grinned before running his fingers through Kurt's hair. "Did you sleep at all?"

"About as much as you did." Kurt smirked before leaning forward to steal a kiss just because he now could. Breaking it before the temptation to deepen it became even greater, he leaned back. Last night had been many things, but talking wasn't one of them. Catching sight of the tattoo in the small sliver of light the basement windows allowed in, his fingers traced over the script. Biting his lip, his eyes scanned it once again to make sure it really did say what he remembered from last night. "You never did tell me why you got a tattoo in the first place."

"Because it's embarrassing and involves Leah. Enough said."

"So Leah chose this particular quote?"

"No that was me. It was the first thing I thought of. And since I've always liked it since…."

"Since I wrote it in your senior yearbook?" Kurt supplied with a satisfied grin.

"_Maybe_. And in this situation it seemed like a good idea to go with my first instinct since it didn't involve tattooing some random celebrity's name on myself."

It was on the tip of Kurt's tongue to point that since the only reason Matt even knew that quote was because he had told him it, it actually was pretty close to his having Kurt's name written permanently on his chest but he held back. But he didn't. They both knew what that tattoo really meant. And for now they didn't need to talk about it. Just the knowledge was enough.

"So you probably want to get back to the hospital at some point." Matt pointed out softly.

"Yeah, but since I didn't show up at exactly ten, everyone's probably thinking I'm still in bed."

"They'd be right."

"I don't particularly want them to know they're right." Kurt admitted. "They've been pretty vocal this entire time and I don't want them lording how they were right over us right now."

"True that does sort of kill this mood thing we've got going for us."

"Exactly." Kurt pursed his lips together as an idea came to him. "Do you trust me?"

"I would look rather dumb right now if I didn't."

"Good." Kurt turned back around, his hand fumbling around the nightstand searching for the phone he had laid there last night before everything moved straight into total fantasy territory. Checking the screen to make sure he hadn't missed any calls, he pressed the familiar series of numbers before pressing it to his ear. "Carole?"

"Good morning sweetheart. Did you get some sleep?"

"Some. How's dad?"

"Sleeping mostly. But he's looking better. The doctors were very pleased when they stopped by this morning."

"Good. Good. Tell him I'll stop by later on tonight, probably around dinner time."

"I will. And tell Matt Leah's looking for him. He'll want to call her at some point."

"What?" Kurt arched his eyebrow as he turned towards Matt. Matt propped himself up on one elbow, his eyes questioning.

"Well it only makes sense honey. Finn mentioned he had missed Matt when he stopped by this morning. Leah said she hadn't seen him. I may be getting older but I'm not stupid. But don't worry. I won't tell anyone until you tell me it's ok."

"Carole…it's just…"

"Kurt. You don't need to explain. We'll see you when you get here. If anything happens between now and then, which it won't, I'll call you. "

"Ok." Kurt shook his head, still stunned on how this conversation had turned on him. "Thanks."

"Just be happy. Love you."

"Love you too." Kurt repeated as he hung up, meeting Matt's curious stare. "Carole apparently figured out you were here. And you should call Leah at some point today to tell her you're alive. So, we're basically completely predictable to everyone but ourselves."

"We're not predictable." Matt scoffed. "This is just…fate for lack of a better word."

"Fate?" Kurt tried to stifle his laugh. "You sound like a cheesy rom-com."

"If I do it's because you made me watch the lame ones."

"The ones I made you watch are not lame. They are classics and for good reason. Just because you have no taste…."

"I have great taste." Matt retorted, a wide smile crossing his face as he pulled Kurt closer. "I picked you didn't I?"

"Oh. That. That was just lame." Kurt tried to sound annoyed but it was hard when Matt kept looking at his lips like that.

"It worked didn't it?"

"Yes damn it." Kurt whispered just before Matt's lips closed over his, before rolling to his back pulling Kurt on top of him.


	57. Chapter 57

**So yeah Happy V-Day everyone. Not entirely thrilled with how this turned out but I'm currently sick right now so what can you do right? And don't suggest not write because clearly that's not an option the muse ever takes. LOL!**

"So when exactly are we going to talk about Chicago?" Kurt questioned just before he popped the last of the chicken and broccoli in his mouth. After a long afternoon of visiting his father in the hospital, Kurt had absolutely no desire to cook at all. So when Matt had suggested ordering Chinese when they left it seemed the perfect solution. Now almost ninety minutes later, they had finished off the egg rolls and wonton soup as they relaxed on the floor of the basement, their heads resting on the cushions of the couch. He tried not to snicker too loudly as Matt nearly choked on his own bite of Kung Pao chicken at his questions. All this time, it was comforting to find some things were the same. Matt would always order the spiciest item on the menu. He would always travel with that disgusting excuse of a former practice bag from his day s on the football team. And any direct confrontation of an issue will make him nearly choke.

In all they had discussed and whispered since last night, the concept of what was going to happen when Matt went back to Columbus and Kurt made his way back to Bowling Green hadn't been thought of. Their needs were more direct and primary. But an afternoon spent dodging carefully phrased questions from Carole in front of his hopefully still clueless father (His dad may have come a long way from not even being able to talk about the possibility of a boyfriend with him to now, but still the domestic picture he and Matt were painting right now might be a little difficult for the older man) had forced the issue to the front of his mind. What exactly was going to happen when they finally left the basement and returned to the real world?

"What about Chicago? Who said anything about Chicago at any point?" Matt complained. "I think you mean Columbus."

"We both know we graduate in a little less than two weeks. Neither one of us is looking to stay in Columbus or Bowling Green. "Kurt tilted his head. "Correct?"

"Ok. True."

"So we'll discuss Chicago instead. That is where you're going right?"

"Yeah but how did _you_ know I decided on Chicago? I really only told Leah and Mike. And I told them specifically _not_ to tell you because of some crazy match making plot they had. "

"Who are you talking to right now? I knew you were thinking about Chicago ever since you admitted it was your reach school, which translate from Matt-speak to dream school. You classified it as a reach so if you didn't get in, you wouldn't be that disappointed."

"I thought I was the one getting a degree in psychology here."

"I am a man of many talents." Kurt scoffed, smacking Matt's hand away from the pile of fortune cookies between them. "Hey you know the rules. No cookies till we're both done."

"If you're determined to have this conversation, I think I better just leave that last comment alone." Matt mused as he shook his hand. "So you figured out through whatever mighty powers of Kurt-logic what my dream school was and that I was likely going."

"Yes. Where you going to tell the rest of us or where we just going to get the status update from Facebook?"

"No. I was going to tell you all. It's just been crazy until about last week or so getting everything worked out as far where I'm going to live and work and how that's going to work with school cause I seriously need to do both. And you know what I'm like in plan mode."

"Absolutely tunnel visioned and impossible to distract no matter how hard one may try."

"Exactly. So that just sorted itself out finally and so I was just enjoying the little bit of peace before the chaos that is Leah and Susan playing proud mama at graduation."

"You're probably the only person in the world who finds the period of senior year final exams a peaceful time."

"The rest of the world isn't related to Leah."

"So when are you leaving?" Kurt asked quietly, his eyes trained on the floor. He had tried to keep his brain in check. The two of them falling back into this again hadn't been part of the plan, no matter how welcomed it was. It was best not to picture a string of lazy summer days spent hanging around Lima and sneaking up quick trips up to Chicago to get things settled before the move. After all that was the best case scenario and life often loved to take that situation from them immediately.

"My new job starts two weeks after graduation." Matt admitted with a shrug of his shoulder, trying not to look at Kurt's blinking expression of shock. "It seemed like a good idea to get settled into the job before school started so I could gain a little sway with the bosses when I would need to change my schedule around and stuff. And the apartment was ready around the same time. It's not the best place in the world but it's close to school and work and well we both know the Jeep is barely going to survive the drive up there."

"No. No. That all makes sense. I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon." Kurt reached over and grabbed Matt's hand. "Apparently we can just never make it easy on ourselves can we?"

"Yeah. So when do you move to New York?" Matt smirked. "You aren't the only the one here who can figure things out. I knew it was a done deal when you posted your acceptance letter to FIT on Facebook."

"Officially I don't have to be there till the start of August. But with everything that's going on with Dad, I'm thinking….."

"Kurt no. Your dad won't want you to give your dream up for him. Come on now. Your dad will be fine by then. He's totally Chuck Norris."

"Ok you know that reference is completely lost on me right?" Kurt questioned, smiling when he saw Matt laugh in response. "And I know you're right. I just have to convince myself of it. So New York and Chicago."

"New York and Chicago." Matt nodded. "Well we always did say we wanted to get the hell out of Ohio and I guess we did."

"We did. And I hear there are these marvelous inventions called airplanes that can fly you back and forth between those two cities rather frequently."

"Kurt we've had this conversation before."

"No you had this conversation before. And while perhaps we did the past few years to figure certain things out on our own, we don't need to follow that logic now. "Kurt weaved their fingers together as he scooted closer. "Matt we still have these feelings for each other after everything we did, then we're just going to make ourselves miserable again if we follow the same pattern."

"So you actually want to do a long distance thing?"

"If you remember I was a big fan of the long distance thing as you so eloquently put it the first time we discussed this. Opposition was all from you. I want us to talk about it. _Really_ talk about it."

"Well I think we've pretty well established my idea was pretty terrible." Matt sighed with a shake of his head. "Ok we'll talk about it but for the record I think we're nuts."

Kurt leaned forward and stole a quick kiss. "Duly noted. "


	58. Chapter 58

**Ok two quick notes...number one I went to a way smaller college than OSU so I am totally aware this is likely NOT how they do graduations. Kay? Kay! And number two...BEWARE EPIC ABUSE OF ITALICS EVEN FROM ME IS AHEAD! I tried to stop them guys but really...it couldn't be helped!**

_Are you officially a graduate yet? Or do I still have to consider you a lowly undergrad? ;p_

It was a good thing there was well over two thousand people crowded into the Schottenstein Center so his sister and Susan couldn't see him reading a text message in the middle of his own graduation ceremony. It wouldn't matter to either of them that the speaker was someone Matt highly suspected was suggested as a joke that the committee failed to see as a joke. (Really? The graduation committee thought _ELMO_ was a good graduation speaker? A red furry Muppet? ) All that would matter was that he wasn't paying attention to what should be one of the proudest moments of his life.

And it was that. He was damn proud of himself for getting through school without any help from his parents and in four years as well. It had been hard and he knew he had missed out on a lot of stuff the people who sat around him counted as essential. He could count on one hand the number of frat parties he had attended (one, freshman year at Leah's insistence and never ever again), the pub crawls (zero), the classes blown off for marathons of Buffy (ok he didn't blow off class but he did DVR the entire thing so he was counting it) and road trips to see the football/basketball team to play some rival or another (and everyone told him the OU games so did not count because it was OU). Hell he probably couldn't even name ten of the people sitting next to him in the caps and gowns and they likely only knew him as "the guy who's always in the library" if they knew him at all. But to hell with all that. He was graduating with a degree that he earned and he got into a top graduate program to boot.

Matt snuck a quick glance up at the stage to make sure they weren't about to present the graduates. There were far too many people present for everyone to actually walk across the stage and Matt knew his actual diploma would be mailed to his apartment in about a week, but he didn't actually want to miss the entire standing up and flipping the tassel thing because he was involved in a texting war with Kurt. Again. Satisfied the Muppet was still talking (or what passed for talking for a fucking puppet), his thumbs moved across the keyboard of his phone.

_You know you only just beat me to graduation because you had a morning ceremony. And no. The Muppet is still "talking"._

If he had thought he and Kurt talked a lot before Burt's heart attack, he was totally wrong. Logically he knew it was just a reaction to four years of inconsistent communication patterns but he still felt the urge to call or text Kurt every free minute he had since they had finally left Lima two weeks ago. It was getting to the point it was hard to keep the fact they were back together under wraps. If everyone else in their lives weren't also consumed with all things graduation, they would have caught on long before now.

It wasn't that Matt didn't want people to know. He just had this feeling, given the way everyone put their two cents into their lives while they were apart, the second the news spread, all they would hear would be variations of _I told you so's_ and decidedly less than helpful advice about being in a long distance relationship. And it would be less than helpful advice since exactly none of them had actually successfully had a long distance relationship. Plus it was a little nice that right now, it was just them. For the first time ever, there was no questioning looks, no huge major life crisis, and no friends trying to understand but not really getting it. For once they could just be _them_ and figure out who they were without other people's perceptions into it. No rumor mills, no gossip blogs, no Facebook groups. Just Matt and Kurt, trying to figure out how exactly this entire thing was going to work.

_One day you're going to have to explain this irrational hatred of Elmo. Everyone loves Elmo. Don't you want to work with kids? Kids love Elmo._

Of course they still had things to figure out. He was moving to Chicago in less than two weeks. (Matt shook his head. Now was not the time to freak out over the fact he would be on his own in less than two weeks. That freak-out was scheduled to happen later. _Much later_. Like when he was in the apartment by himself later. That would be a good time.) And while Kurt was still dithering about going to New York, it was only a matter of time before he realized FIT was too great an opportunity to turn down. Money wasn't exactly going to rolling in for either of them and they would be working twice as hard as they did as undergrads. As much work they had realized being together during college would have been, being together during graduate school in two different cities was going to double it.

They really couldn't make life easy for themselves could they, Matt wondered wryly as he worked out his response.

_Last I checked, we had no four year old geniuses graduating this year. This is a bad bad joke. And isn't your dad wondering who you're texting constantly?_

Kurt kept insisting they could do this. And right now, probably as a result of his _I'm actually graduating from college _high, Matt actually believed him. It wasn't really his style to be so optimistic or even romantic in his thinking, but clearly his logic and realism based approach four years ago worked so well. They would just have to figure this out, because now that he had Kurt back in his life? Matt wasn't planning on ever letting go.

_He's arguing with Carole that he can in fact carry more than my pillow to the truck. So no. And stop texting me. You'll miss your big moment._

The sound of applause alerted Matt to the fact that finally the fucking puppet was finished. He feigned golf claps to hopefully hide the fact he hadn't paid the least bit of attention to the speech from the people sitting close to him. However considering the number of them currently occupied with trying to keep a giant inflatable volleyball in the air, it looked like he wasn't the only one.

_What? Are you watching this on satellite? And this big moment would be even better if you were here._

"Graduates of the class of 2016, please stand." The dean of the college of arts and sciences stood behind the podium, her arms firmly on each side. Matt, along with everyone else on the floor followed her instructions. This was it. From the seats lining up the coliseum walls what seemed like a million cameras flashed. "Please join me in the ceremonial passing of the tassel."

Pausing for a minute to verify that yes people who were graduating from college could in fact tell their lefts from their rights, the dean smiled brightly. "Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present to you the graduating class from the college of arts and sciences."

The deafening cheer that exploded across the room was impossible not to join in. Matt even found himself hugging the complete strangers sitting all around him. It was real. He had actually graduated. He looked up in the direction Leah and Susan had promised they would be sitting in. He knew it was crazy. He knew they couldn't see him and he for sure couldn't see them or Mike or Jim. But still he felt the need to wave like a crazy person in their general direction. That was why it took him a fraction of a second longer than it should have to realize his phone was vibrating. Seeing an incoming text from Kurt flash across his screen, he quickly opened it and began to laugh.

_And why do you think I've been texting you this entire time? Congratulations. Next weekend we'll celebrate properly ;)_

Matt couldn't help it. He laughed.

_God I love you. Never change ok?_

_Only if you promise the same. I love you too._


	59. Chapter 59

She knew it was only temporary, even less temporary than it had been the previous four summers if she wanted to be technical about it and she didn't. Logically she knew this was just a stopover for Kurt. A brief visit before he flew the nest for good once and for all. All his belongings weren't currently sitting in the basement because he lived there. They were just there because he needed storage space between the move from the pink house until it was time to move to the apartment in New York. Logically Carole knew all this but she didn't care. Her baby was home and that was all there as to it.

It had always been hard to pretend Kurt and Finn weren't growing up and moving towards adulthood with rapid speed. Carole could still Finn as he was when he was JoBeth's age. And while she hadn't met Kurt until he was in high school, he was still every inch her child that Finn and JoBeth were. Hell she knew exactly which box in the attic had his collection of Power Rangers action figures and their homemade extremely more fashionable alternative outfits were stored in. Two summers ago she had found Finn in the middle of the toy section at Target, excitedly checking all the new GI Joes. Now Finn was married with a child of his own. She was a grandmother. A_ grandmother._ And Kurt was clearly in love.

Had matchmaking been at the forefront of her mind when she had asked Matt to get Kurt out of the hospital that night? If she was honest with herself, and Carole Hummel prided herself on being honest, it hadn't even occurred to her until later on that night. All she had known then was both those boys needed to get out of the hospital and Kurt wasn't leaving until he was forced and Matt clearly wasn't leaving until Kurt did. It had just been a simple solution. Of course since it appeared to work out wonderfully, she wasn't above taking full credit for it. After all, it had apparently accomplished what nothing else these past four years had.

While she hadn't agreed with their decision to break up after high school, she had certainly understood the reasoning behind it. And a part of her had thought they were entirely too young to limit themselves to just one person, so it was probably a good thing in the long run. After all it wasn't as if either one of them had a wide variety of options when it came to dating in Lima. But as she started to notice certain, Carole was going to call them _patterns_ to be on the safe side, she had to wonder if it was ever a good idea. Because she hadn't seen Kurt smile like this since sometime around his graduation from high school.

"How's Matt?" she asked as she sat down next to Kurt on the sofa. She had to bite her lower lip to keep from laughing as Kurt's eyes nearly bulged out of his head at her question. He couldn't really think he was actually hiding this _well_ could he? The only reason no one else had caught on was because they were too busy trying to adjust to post college life. Very few of the New Directions crowd had come back to Lima for the summer. Most had moved to new cities in preparation for graduate school or first jobs. "Sweetheart, he's the only person you've been obsessively texting for the past month and he moved over the weekend. It's logic."

"He's Matt." Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "Which means he says everything is fine. Which is maddeningly vague. I don't know why I even ask half the time. It's far more accurate to just go up there myself and see."

"Which I'm guessing you're planning on doing soon."

"Next weekend." Kurt admitted. "It gives him a week to get unpacked so I can re-arrange it on him."

"Sounds about right." Carole chuckled to herself. She leaned further back into the sofa. Burt was at the park with JoBeth. This was probably the only chance she would have to ask Kurt anything about this privately for some time. "Sweetie I don't want to pry…."

"And I wouldn't run over my own grandmother at a Marc Jacobs sample sale." Kurt laughed as he looked over at her.

"Alright maybe I do want to pry. But neither one of you have exactly been advertising the fact you're back together. You _are_ back together correct?"

Even if Kurt hadn't answered with a soft "yes", the bright smile was confirmation enough for anyone with eyes.

"I think it's wonderful and you know I love Matt. I'm just wondering how you plan to handle being in separate cities."

"We're still working on that." Kurt admitted, his shoulders sagging a little. "I mean we figure we'll travel back and forth but as to how often and when we haven't talked about that specifically yet. We're kind of waiting for me to start school to get a better idea on how it will have to work. Seems kind of dumb to talk about a schedule now when I don't know what mine yet."

"That makes sense" Carole nodded. "And I'm assuming you'll be up there a lot before you start school."

"As much as I can. I mean dad still needs help at the garage and I have to get ready for school myself. And Leah and Puck have been dating for almost a year now, so I need more information on that. Even though he denies it, Matt wants that story too. Well, he will some day. And Leah can evade questions too easily on the phone and Puck will just not pick up. Besides Matt is just starting his new job. What am I going to do? Sit around his apartment? Wander the city by myself?"

"Exploring a new city by yourself can be a great experience. But I see your point. Going up there for the summer and doing that while Matt was at work would make sense if you were planning on moving to Chicago but you aren't."

"Right. And then we'd be used to seeing each other all the time when a few long weekends will likely be all we can manage. At least until after I graduate."

"I just wanted to make sure you two have thought this through. Long distance is hard. And I know it's not the same situation, but Finn's dad and I were apart far more often than we were together. If you ever need to talk to someone who understands, you know my number."

"Thanks Carole. I may take you up on that."

"Any time honey. Any time." She pulled Kurt into her arms for a tight hug. As she released him, she blinked her eyes to keep her tears at bay. There was no need for tears right now, happy or not. Kurt didn't need to see her tears. She could and would cry buckets later when he packed up the last of his boxes and started the drive to New York. She was not going to spend every last minute of this summer mourning his lost childhood.

"You know" she began, tilting her head to the side. "I'm not saying I didn't like Austin or anything but it's just a shame you two didn't get this worked out earlier in the school year. Maybe Matt would have applied to some New York area schools."

"Yeah maybe. But Chicago is a good fit for him."

"A person never really knows until they really get started. People transfer schools all the time."

"Right." Kurt answered softly. There was a faraway look in his eyes. He was definitely thinking about something but for the life of her Carole couldn't tell what. "Transferring schools. Especially if programs are similar."

"Kurt. You aren't thinking about asking Matt to transfer schools are you? Because honey, that's just not a good idea."

"What? No. No I'm not thinking about Matt transferring at all." Kurt chewed on his bottom lip, lost in his thoughts for a minute. "Carole have you ever had a crazy idea and if you explained it to anyone, they would talk you out of it?"

"I can think of at least one."

"Did it work out?"

"Well considering I married your father and your sister is running around this house, I'd say it did." Carole smiled. "I'm guessing you're having a crazy idea?"

"I think so. I need to do a little research but if it's possible…."

"And does this crazy idea have anything to do with Matt?" Carole smiled in satisfaction when she saw Kurt nod. "Then I think you should do it."

"But you don't even know what it is."

"Call me a romantic but I think you should always go with crazy ideas when it comes to love. Most of the time, they work out."

Kurt leaned up and kissed her cheek. "You are the greatest you know that?"

"So I hear."


	60. Chapter 60

The rental agent his Abnormal Psych professor had put him in contact with had called the place "cozy". The landlord had advertised it as an "economy apartment". While he was never going to admit it to anyone, Matt privately thought Artie's assessment was closest to the truth. After posting a quick video tour of his new place of Facebook, Artie had quickly described the place as "smaller than an ant's closet". It had been advertised as a studio so Matt knew better than to actually expect such luxuries such as walls or actual rooms. (Save the bathroom of course. There were some things that were just a necessity and that was completely one of them.) And it wasn't like he had much furniture to begin with. Clara and Terry had the nice stuff so when he moved in with them, he only brought the beat up, second hand (even though Leah and Kurt swore it was probably closer to fifth hand by the point he found it) dresser, desk and night stand with him. He had managed to find a modest couch when he arrived in town at the Goodwill a few blocks over and Leah had insisted on buying him a decent TV for a graduation present.

So it wasn't like the place was overwhelmed with furniture. And Matt may be currently defending his new place by saying he actually planned this and that's why he never got much furniture to begin with when he moved in with Leah. (No one was actually _buying_ that line of reasoning but he was still going to try it.) But the place was tiny. Matt was pretty sure there were dorm rooms bigger than his place. It was barely big enough for one person, which meant when Kurt came to visit next weekend things, were going to get _interesting _to say the least. (He was already trying to figure out where exactly to put the at least three suitcases he knew Kurt was arriving with) However he wasn't going to complain one single solitary bit. As tiny as this place was, it was all his. For the first time in nearly seven years, he had a place to call his own and no one could kick him out for any reason save he was an idiot and forgot to pay his rent.

He actually had a home. It wasn't much to look at it, but it was his. And even though logically, Matt knew he hadn't really been in any danger of being kicked out from the Changs or from the crapholes he shared with Leah or the slightly nicer place he had split with Clara and Terry; every time he had gotten comfortable that little voice in the back of his head liked to pop up and remind him he had thought the same thing about his parents and wow that worked out for him. He was really learning to hate that little voice. Here that irritating voice couldn't get to him. He wasn't dependent on anyone but himself and even though it was completely fucking terrifying, he kind of loved it at the same time.

An easy, simple daily routine was starting to emerge for him. Working second shift didn't leave much time for an actual social life, but really when had he ever cared about that? It wasn't like he was single and looking to meet anyone anyway. His new co-workers were nice and he was beginning to enjoy their company, including going out for drinks with the ladies who worked on his unit a few times. Mornings were dedicated to exploring Chicago. The L train was still a little intimidating but he was starting to figure it out enough to get where he needed to go. And while he knew it would change once there were other students around, he was reasonably sure he had a handle on the whole time it took to get between work and campus thing. A small shopping center three blocks to the left of his building had all his basic needs covered, and he figured it was just smarter to wait for one of Kurt's visits to even consider clothing shopping.

It was probably a little mundane and it was probably the least exciting way to spend a summer ever invented but it was working for him, so Matt was just going to keep going with it.

The familiar sounds of _Wild Horses_ sounded from the kitchen counter where he had thrown his phone earlier. Picking it up, he could feel the beginnings of what he knew could only be described as a "stupid shit-eating smile" on his face. It was, he feared, becoming a semi-permanent fixture since he had returned from Lima. He was actually kind of glad about the whole long distance idea solely for the fact Kurt could not see how stupid he looked roughly every single time the phone rang.

"Didn't you have to work at the garage today?" He questioned as the call connected.

"Advantage of being the boss's son." Kurt tossed off so casually, Matt could see the hand fly in the air. "Plus Puck's off today so the fun of annoying him just isn't there."

"Ok I thought we agreed we weren't talking about Puck."

"Actually I thought you said you were doing better with the whole Leah and Puck being together thing. Why a quicker about face than Rachel on the question of Julie Taymore being a genius or insane?"

"I am doing better with it." Matt defended himself. He was. And it was perfectly normal to want absolutely no details ever about one sister's social life. All his psych books said that. "It's just when I talked to her yesterday she mentioned having big plans and you're telling me Puck has the day off. I can't help but think that's related and that's far too much thinking about that situation than I ever want to do."

"You know one day they might get married and then you'll have no choice."

"And I think I've changed my mind on the whole long distance thing. You're mean."

"I'm fabulous and you know it." Kurt returned back. "And it's really strange you mentioned this thing that we're doing. I wanted to talk to you about that."

"You aren't changing your mind are you? Because I'm going to remind you this was always your idea and clearly my plans in this matter are disasters. "

"No. I've not changed my mind about us. I want us to work. I've just been doing a lot of thinking lately about this is going to work with us being in two different cities and school and work. "

"Yes. Which is why I thought we agreed to wait until you knew exactly what your schedule was before we committed to single plan or even a theory?" Matt leaned his hip against the kitchen counter, his eyebrow raised. "That was me agreeing to not have a plan set in stone I'll remind you. _Me_."

"I remember and I love you for it. Honestly. But I was talking to Carole the other day and she may have inspired me to consider _another_ option. One we never really talked about."

"An option we didn't consider? This I have to hear." Matt sighed as a rather loud knock sounded at his door. Just his luck someone would decide to get lost and knock on his door in the middle of this conversation. "Can you hold that thought? I need to get rid of whoever just knocked on the door."

"Get rid of them? Something I need to worry about?"

"No. It's probably just some crack head looking for his dealer."

"You really fail at making me feel better about where you're living. You know that right?"

"It's not that bad." Matt protested automatically as he reached the door. It really wasn't. Sure some of his neighbors weren't the greatest but he was roughly ninety nine percent sure they weren't all up to no good. "You just have to be careful about who you open your door to is all."

If Kurt asked he would totally claim he looked through the peephole. There was no need for him to know the tiny hole had been painted over at least three times if the various colors Matt could see through the chipped paint in the doorframe was any indication. He opened the door a tiny crack, blinking in disbelief as he opened it further, his cell phone still in his hand.

"What the hell?"

Kurt smiled brightly as he ended the call on his own phone. "We clearly need to discuss you not checking to see who was on the other side of the door before opening it, but first things first." Kurt took two steps closer to Matt, kissing him soundly on the lips. "Surprise."


	61. Chapter 61

Alright maybe he _had_ in fact watched too many crappy romantic comedies as Matt had always claimed. Yeah it was a risk coming here earlier than he had planned and basically barging in on Matt. And yeah it usually took Matt a little bit to downshift his emotions when he was surprised. But Kurt hadn't quite planned on the look of absolute shock just staying on Matt's face. The shock was supposed to just stay there for a minute or two before transforming into that grin Matt always got on his face when he was really happy something was happening.

When he dressed Julia Roberts and Reese Witherspoon for their next Oscars, he was totally going tell them how damaging their movies that were full of lies were to people's romantic expectations. Because he sure as hell knew this wouldn't be happening at the end of one _their_ movies. Of course if this was one of their movies, Matt would be dressed something more acceptable than that positively ancient McKinley PE shirt and those completely shapeless jeans. Clearly Matt had been left on his own in regards to proper wardrobe decisions for far too long.

"Matt?" Kurt ventured as he took a further step into the seriously tiny apartment. He was pretty sure if he took one more step, he would be able to touch the opposite wall. Closing the door behind him, he dropped his bag at his feet. "Are you ever going to say something?"

"When I'm fully convinced I'm not having a hallucination."

"Matt if this was a hallucination, you'd be better dressed. Honestly, how long have we known each other and _this_ is what you think is appropriate? Have I taught you _nothing_?"

Matt finally broke out a smile at that little rant and pulled Kurt closer to him. He was still confused as to what exactly Kurt was doing here but he wasn't going to ignore the fact he had missed the other man terribly. And now Kurt was standing right in front of him. Clearly explanations were over-rated right now. Tilting his head down, Matt kissed Kurt fully on the lips, relishing in the fact they could do this again. When they finally broke apart, Matt felt that stupid grin on his face again. He would just have to add it to the million and three other things Kurt would never let him forget.

Then again Kurt did seem to have an eerily familiar smile on his own face, so possibly they could just call it even.

"Hi." Matt managed to say through his sudden need to laugh.

"Oh so we're starting over are we?" Kurt chuckled.

"Seems to be working out for us so far."

"True." Kurt cocked his head to the side. "Hi. Please tell me you changed your mind and like surprises now."

"This is going a long way to change that opinion." Matt allowed. "I'm not complaining but I didn't think you were coming up until next weekend."

"That was the plan but I was able to rearrange some things so here I am."

Matt took a small step back, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. Kurt bit the bottom of his lip. "You hate this right? I should have just stuck to the original plan."

"No. No. I love the fact you're here. It's just I wasn't expecting you and so I still have to work. I could get some people to cover some of my shifts I guess but…"

"I don't want you to do that. I figured you'd be working. Don't mess around with your schedule on my account. You're still new there. I'll be fine. There is plenty to explore in Chicago."

"That's true but I was kind of hoping to do that exploring together." Matt pointed out.

Kurt slipped closer to him, kissing Matt lightly. "You don't have to work till three right?" Seeing Matt nod, Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "Then we have plenty of time to do explore before you have to go work. So long as you don't mind me being here without you at night."

"I don't mind I'm just confused. Weren't you just complaining about how this place wasn't safe and you hate that I'm not off work till after eleven?"

"One, you just opened your door without checking to see who was out in the hall. So my concern about your safety has a basis in reality _obviously_. Two, even if we were still in Lima I would hate the fact you aren't off till after eleven. It's late and we both know the really crazy stuff happens at night."

"We're not really going to argue about the face you were on the other side of that door are we? Because that might be our dumbest argument ever. And we've had some dumb ones."

"Depends." Kurt smirked. "Are you going to show me around this neighborhood or not?"

"Just let me grab my keys."

* * *

They successfully avoided the entire topic of how long Kurt was going to stay and what plans he had exactly rearranged to be here. Instead Matt had concentrated on playing tour guide, showing Kurt everything that was close by in walking distance. And when the time came for Matt to head to work, Kurt had merely smiled; promising he would figure out something for them to do tomorrow.

It teased the back of Matt's mind the entire shift. Escorting the clients to dinner, evening medications, evening group, recreation time, bed checks, even when he was supposed to be writing his observation logs for the next shift. By the time he left, Matt wasn't entirely sure someone on third shift wasn't going to be reading a note and begin to wonder why the normally non-psychotic client had developed an imaginary friend named Kurt and needed to know how long he was staying.

Walking up the stairs to his apartment door, Matt promised himself before they did anything tomorrow he would just ask the question. After all it was late, and Kurt was likely asleep right now. And there likely wasn't any big mystery as to the earlier visit. Kurt had probably just driven Burt crazy with his hovering and Carole had suggested a brief trip to keep the peace. Kurt just hadn't mentioned it because it was embarrassing. There, Matt thought proudly as he twisted his key in the lock, a simple and perfectly logical explanation. One that absolutely could wait until tomorrow.

The light was still on when he pushed the door open. Instinctively Matt looked towards the TV, surprised to find it off. Instead soft music filtered through the speakers of the ancient stereo system nearly everyone had made fun of him for still having. Kurt was in bed, his knees pulled up towards his chest, his entire being focused on a book of some kind in front of him.

"Kurt?"

"Matt!" Kurt looked up startled, the book nearly sliding to the floor as he jumped. "I didn't realize it was so late."

"Obviously." Matt pointed out as he made his way towards the bed, trying to ignore the way his heart twisted as he took in the sight of Kurt sitting comfortably in his bed. It was not a good idea to get used to this sight when New York was still very much a part of the not so distant future. "What had you so distracted?"

"Oh you know. Just some reading."Kurt waved his hand, not noticing as the book fell to the floor. "How was work?"

"Work was fine. Pretty boring which is a good thing." Matt leaned down to grab the book, not missing the way Kurt lunged to stop him. His eyes scanned the title once, and then again. Courses for the Chicago Institute of Fashion and Design. Matt shot a look at Kurt and then back to the book at least three times before he found his voice. "Kurt?"

"Remember me telling you about that option we never considered?" Kurt began, tapping the cover of the book with his pointer finger. "I may have an interview with the admissions board here."

"The admissions board?"

"Yeah. We, we never did talk about me going to school here."


	62. Chapter 62

"Are you nuts?"

Reactions like that were precisely why Kurt knew broaching this subject needed to be done carefully, with special attention paid to the time and the place. Like say after he had his interviews. Or even say, this weekend or on Matt's day off when they had spent all morning in bed. And he probably should have actually thought of a cover story about that book because really it was impossible to hide what a course catalogue looked like. Possibly it would have helped if he had ever paid heed to the constant talk that his plans never worked. But the damage was done and now he had to deal with it. After midnight, a day before his interview with the admission board and three days before his interview at the bridal salon his old boss had managed to wrangle for him.

Snatching the book from Matt's hands, Kurt settled himself against the wall. Fixing his best ice glare on his face, he crossed his arms in front of him. "You don't have your degree yet so I would watch my words carefully if I was you."

"Well being nuts is the only way to explain you giving up New York. New York has been the dream in all the years I've known you."

"No. The dream was to get the hell out of Lima. It's been New York, LA, Paris, San Francisco, Seattle and for one truly insane moment Miami. Like I could survive that much sun?" Kurt waved his hand. "I don't know if you've realized this but Chicago? It's not in Lima. In fact it's not even in Ohio."

"You're hilarious." Matt shook his head before sighing. "Kurt you got in to FIT. I don't even follow fashion…"

"There's a newsflash. Let me alert the world via Twitter."

Matt merely rolled his eyes before continuing. "I don't even follow fashion and I know that's a big deal. FIT is your dream school."

"I haven't turned it down. I'm just interviewing. There are no guarantees I would even be accepted."

"Yeah someone who was accepted at one of the best fashion programs in the country would be denied admission here. And you say my thinking is deluded?"

"I'll have you know CIFD is a very respected and competitive program. So no there are no guarantees. It's just an interview and I'm just exploring all my options. This one happens to be where you are."

"Sure and you're exploring your options in LA and Paris as well right?" Matt asked, one eyebrow raised. Seeing Kurt bite his bottom lip and look towards the wall, Matt sighed again. "Come on this is ridiculous. You're not just going to give up this _amazing_ opportunity. You've worked too hard for this."

"FIT would be amazing." Kurt agreed softly. "But it might not be amazing for me. Yes you being here is an added selling point. I won't deny that. But it's closer to home and my dad. If anything happened, I'd be closer here than I would in New York."

Reaching out to take Kurt's hand in his, Matt squeezed it softly. "I get that you're freaked out over your dad's heart attack but Burt is the last person who would want you to change your plans for him. In fact I think he'd take that flamethrower to you if you tried it."

"I'm not stupid enough to tell him _that_ reason. " Kurt smiled. "But this is an option that we've never considered."

"Because it doesn't make any sense. Not when you got into the best program in the country."

"And this program is just as good. It just doesn't have the fame as FIT. And I wouldn't have to worry as much about a job. My old boss from Bowling Green knows some other bridal salon owners here and has no problem helping me get interviews." Kurt looked down at his hands. "I may have one of those on Monday."

Matt rubbed his temple with his free hand. "Job interview on Monday. So the admissions board interview is when then?"

"Tomorrow. After you go to work."

"And when exactly where you going to mention this?"

"My original plan was Tuesday after I knew more details for you, my obsessive planner. I figured if you weren't ready to kick me out by then, I would have better platform to argue from."

"That's the other thing. I know the long distance stuff is hard but are we really ready to live together? We're still trying to figure this whole thing out. And didn't you break up with Austin because you weren't ready for that?"

"I wasn't ready for that step with _him_. You and I aren't me and Austin. I know it seems crazy but we've always done things when it felt right for us. Not what everyone else thought. And I think I've heard all about your less than stellar roommate skills from Leah."

"I always knew you two being friends would bite me in the ass."

"And how right you were oh wise one." Kurt teased before leaning forward for a quick kiss. "But this is an option. A good option and we should at least talk about it. Come on. Tell me what you're thinking and what rationalizations you're using to try to talk me out of this."

"Well I figured my best shot was the school one and you're kind of ignoring me on that." Matt pointed out with a small smile. "Remember right before I left for Spain and I told you I would be horrible boyfriend material for the next four years? That kind of still applies right now. Between work and school, I'll barely be here."

"We wouldn't get on each other's nerves then." Kurt laughed. "And we'd see each other more here than if I was in New York and you were here. And it's not like I'm going to be sitting around eating bon bons on the couch. Number one that couch is so ugly it hurts my soul and number two I will likely have a similar schedule. At least in the spring."

"In the spring? What? Fashion programs aren't busy in the fall?"

"They are but if I'm accepted at CIFD, it would be for spring semester. I figure I would work until then."

"So you would be a semester behind, which you would act like it's the end of the world but it's not." Matt nodded.

"And you would try to work yourself into exhaustion or you fall over in a dead faint." Kurt smirked right back. "Looks like we would both benefit from having someone around."

"True but this place is smaller than your bathroom at home. There is no way in hell your entire wardrobe would fit here. Well it would but we wouldn't."

"Are you implying I don't know how to pare down my wardrobe to essential items?"

"Oh there was no implying. Just stating the facts."

"Excuse you, I brought one bag and I was planning on staying through next weekend."

"I noticed. I also figured at least once you'd be hitting the Miracle Mile. I didn't think you'd leave with one bag."

"Well I wasn't actually planning on leaving at all."

"I'm beginning to figure that out." Matt laughed softly. "Ok I suggest we get through this weekend and if on Tuesday we aren't ready to kill each other we talk about it again."

"I don't see anything changing my mind between now and then, but I'm nothing but willing to compromise." Kurt pulled Matt closer for a slow, sweet kiss. "But I do think we've done enough talking for the night."

"That I'll agree with."


	63. Chapter 63

**Deep breaths lovelies...this is it. THe last chapter of this particular part of the massive saga. Don't forget these boys's lovely adventures are continuing in Wonderchild. Ok the emotions are overcoming me...I'll just let you read now. But honeslty you all thank you for every single review, author alert, favorite, story alert, C2 inclusion...all of that. I just love it. And I love you!**

He had made a vow that he wasn't going to ask a single thing about anything regarding Kurt's interviews. It was just easier that way. Much less odds of him banging his head on the apartment's impossibly thin walls because Kurt just wouldn't listen to reason. Although, Matt admitted, why he ever thought reason would work in this particular case was a total and complete mystery. In all the years he had known Kurt, the other man had always lead with his emotions first and then try to work logic into his actions. It was probably the leading reason why all of Kurt's plans failed in such memorable fashions.

That was probably why this particular plan was scarring him so badly, if he was to be honest. It was different this time. There was actual research and thought put into this. Matt didn't care what Kurt said; clearly he had thought about this longer than just a few weeks. If CIFD really was as good a school as Kurt claimed it was (and Matt didn't really have a reason to doubt him on _that_ particular subject), then there was no way Kurt could just arrange an interview on a whim. And no matter how much he knew Kurt's boss loved him, Matt had seen the name of the bridal salon Kurt was interviewing at right now. Even Matt had recognized it from some magazine or other Leah subscribed to. Supposedly it was _the_ bridal salon in Chicago. Again not exactly the type of place a person just called up for an interview to be arranged in a few short minutes. It was becoming more and more obvious Kurt had been plotting this very move for _weeks _at least and Matt was beginning to have suspicious about longer.

If he didn't ask a single thing about interviews or if Kurt thought they went well, then he didn't have to actually wonder if this might be the one plan of Kurt's that could work. Even if it made no sense on paper. They had barely gotten back together. At this point he could count the number of people who actually knew where Kurt was and why this past weekend on one hand. And with one finger. They had probably spent no more than a few handfuls of hours actually in each other's presence since Burt's illness. A very good argument could be made they barely knew each other as they were now, not as they were in high school.

Yes, they had stayed friends for the most part during college. Matt was fairly certain he knew all the major events of Kurt's years in Bowling Green, just like Kurt knew the highlights of his time at OSU. But he wasn't stupid. They were not the same guys they were at McKinley. There had been some serious growing up in the past four years. Changes that weren't easily communicated in emails and chats with sisters. He was fairly confident in all the important ways they were still the same but at the same time he couldn't help but wonder. What if the changes were too much for them?

Of course every time he did think that, another voice in his head (The one that sounded exactly like Kurt and at times a little like Leah. There was probably a whole bunch of stuff in that a therapist could have a field day with) would tell him he was being what everyone called "being all Matt about this". This apparently boiled down to either he was over-thinking something or he was determined to make himself miserable for reasons no one (not even him) understood. Contrary to popular opinion, he didn't _actually_ like being miserable. In fact, he pretty much hated it. What he did like was knowing what came next and predictability. In a million years he could never do what Rachel or Mike did, not know where the next job was coming from, if the next job was coming. He needed to know these things. Even as a child, he had never been as carefree as Leah. He was a creature of habit and routine. It was just who he was.

On some level he did realize expecting predictability in a relationship was ridiculous and borderline insane. It just wasn't going to happen. Ever. At best, he figured all you could do was hope to find someone who would stick by you when the entire world did go insane. And if there was one thing Matt did know, Kurt would stick by him. _Had_ stuck by him through events would break other people. Was still willing to stick by him, despite his questionable lapses in judgment over the years. Hell Kurt was known to not stand by people if they accidentally chose tapered and pleated jeans. The fact he was willing to put up with Matt's admitted massive amounts of baggage? Matt just couldn't rationalize that away. And he really didn't want to.

It was insane. It was crazy. It went against every expectation anyone ever had for him. Hell Kurt was probably expecting at least spending the next week arguing about this plan. But the more he thought about it, the more just plain _right_ it sounded. And he had a feeling the next time Kurt brought it up, he was going to agree that this was right step for them. He couldn't help the little chuckle that escaped him as he pictured Kurt's face at that moment.

The turn of the key in the door alerted him to Kurt's return. There was something he got used to surprisingly quickly. It just made sense for Kurt to have his spare key if all his appointments were scheduled after Matt left for work. They weren't in Lima anymore and even back home they couldn't just leave the door unlocked. The first day he had to remind himself the person opening the door was Kurt. Now it was just a part of the sounds of living in the city.

"Matt?"

"Hey." Matt called out from the couch, which was now in a totally different spot than where he had initially placed it and was, in fact, a completely "new" sofa. Apparently the other one was deemed "too ugly even for your pitiful budget." That was another thing Kurt had started: redecorating the apartment even though h hadn't officially moved in. Yet. Matt had a feeling not knowing exactly how the apartment was going to look when he returned home was just something he was going to have to learn to live with. "How did the interview go?"

Kurt fixed his best quizzical look as he neared the couch that was now closed off the fireplace. "And here I thought you were going to keep pretending I didn't actually have interviews."

"I was." Matt admitted with a shrug of his shoulders as Kurt sat down next to him. "Then I realized you were probably going to force a conversation about it today."

"We did agree to talk more after all my interviews. And after we made sure we didn't kill each other over the weekend."

"Yeah that would be just slightly bad. So how did they go?"

"Predictably I was fabulous and made sure to tell them. All that's left is waiting to see if they appreciate my genius in all areas of life."

"And did they give you any time frame for recognizing your genius?"

"I should know about school at the end of August. But as I'm sure you remember, programs can decide early if they want. As for the job, likely in the next week or so. Why? Now do you want to table the discussion until I have answers for those questions?"

Matt made a special effort to keep from laughing. "No. I was just debating whether it made more sense for you to move up here before you knew or after. Because there are advantages to each option you know?"

Oh how he wished he had thought to pull out the camera. There was no way to truly describe the look of shock, confusion and just plain stunned that was currently taking place on Kurt's face. It was at once the most hilarious and likely the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. Letting himself grin widely, Matt grabbed one of Kurt's hands. "I meant I know you said something about not going back to home at all, but we both know you'd never trust your dad to pack up all your stuff. Or that you would actually want him to because honestly the less your dad knows about some things? The better is for me."

"Is this a joke?" Kurt managed to ask, his head tilted to the side. "Because I was all prepared to argue with you until the end of next weekend at least."

"No it's not a joke. I just….I've been kind of obsessing about this since you brought it up."

"You? Obsess? That never happens."

"Ok see when you're winning an argument? Not a good idea to pour on the sarcasm."

"Very true. Continue."

"And I keep going over every argument I'm sure you were all prepared to fight me on and a few you may not have thought of but I did. And for the record there are some very valid and logical reasons why even talking about this right now is insane."

"You have the strangest way ever of telling me I'm right."

"I'm getting there. But every time I went through all the arguments, I kept coming back to the fact that nothing about the two of us ever really worked when we went about it logically. We make ourselves miserable. And when we do stuff that seems crazy, it seems to work."

"Just to be clear…." Kurt began as he inched closer on the couch, a smile starting to work it's way up to his eyes. "what you're saying here is….."

"Let's do something crazy."

Matt barely finished getting the words out before Kurt practically launched himself across the couch, initiating a deep kiss while securing his arms around Matt's neck. Matt followed suit, running his fingers through Kurt's hair. He did have to admit, in addition to apparently not being ugly; the new couch was definitely more comfortable for this type of activity.

"I promise you, you're not going to regret this." Kurt whispered when the need for air became too much for the both of them.

"I'll hold you to that."


End file.
